"Oh my God! Frankie made you cry, he did it!" I celebrated jumping and applauding. I probably looked camp, but I didn't give a fuck.
"Shut it, fruit!" he gnarled.
"I...I m-made Mikey c-cry? N-no! I d-didn't want to I s-swear!" now my boyfriend was crying too. "S-sorry, Mikey. I kn-know the p-present is very s-silly but...b-but I don't h-have money and if...if I ask G-gee for money then it's n-not my p-present..." he reasoned. "G-gerard bought you a p-pretty t-shirt and..."
"He's not crying because he didn't like it, love!" I said.
"Y-YES HE IS!"
"No...Frankie, I..." Mikey babbled.
"Come on, stop pretending. You're not that tough!" mom was getting angry.
"Mikey, you better tell Frankie or I'll rip your..."
"Ok, ok Al! It's not easy for me!" he sobbed. My brother was openly sobbing. He walked to Frank, put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "Frankie, the truth is...I loved your present. N-no one has ever given me something so sweet and with so much work behind. I...I love it."
"R-really?"
"Yes...it means more than any other present I could receive." he glanced at us. "Sorry, people..."
"No hard feelings!" Bob raised his package containing a humble CD.
Mikey stayed as he was, paralyzed. He kept staring at Frankie and sobbed again, louder. The scene had us all agape, and I heard my mother's sniffles as I dried my own tears.
"Thank you so much, Frankie." Mikey continued with trembling voice. "And you don't have to be quiet for me, just be yourself, ok? You're fine as you are, I'm the one who's too grumpy. I can't promise I won't complain ever again, but I want you to know something."
"Wh-what?"
"That I..." he doubted, like what he had to say was something that went against his nature. "I do love you, short thing."
"Y-you do? B-but..but I d-don't annoy you?" Frank asked innocently.
"Sometimes, but so does Gerard. I think it's a normal thing among brothers, and you're my 'brother of the heart', right?" he quoted with his fingers.
"Yes!" Frankie shouted and jump into Mikey's arms, almost making him fall. My brother stood with his arms hanging limp at the sides of his body, looking at the crown of Frank's head who wouldn't release his waist.
"Mikey...I'll cause you pain!" Alicia whispered through her teeth.
In a slow, insecure motion, Mikey raised his arms and encircled Frank's back. The younger one peeped up and grinned, automatically making the other's lips curve up before he leaned down to kiss Frankie's cheek.
"See, Mikey? We're all still alive! Told you that displays of affection can't bring the end of the world." I mocked him.
"How many times do I have to tell all of you to shut up?" he retorted, letting go of Frankie.
"We won't, darling, so don't waste your time." Alicia surprised him with a deep, heated kiss. "I think I love you more now."
"Oh...don't join them, you two!" Bob pleaded when seeing the look Frankie was giving me. "Have mercy of poor lonely Bob!"
"Maybe you and Ray should jump into our wagon..." I suggested.
"Uh, no...I'll keep on searching for someone less...hairy."
"I'll bring the rest of the food soon, I'm a little delayed. Frankie, you can have these little sausages in the meantime." my mother handed him the plate and some toothpicks.
"Th-thanks!" he pinched one right away.
"Why only him?" Mikey protested.
"Because he has to take his meds now and needs to eat something with them." she responded. "Gerard, give me the pills. I have some pate snacks where I can sneak them into." "Here." I gave her a tiny container with the exact dose inside. "And you Frankie...don't mind Mikey. You know he gets jealous too easily."
"Why don't you..." a ring cut off my brother's speech. "...you've been saved by the phone!"
"Oh, good! I was terrified!" I faked a chill.
"You should!" Mikey shouted from the other side of the room, picking up the headset. His smirking face changed as he asked who it was. Now it was more like the smile of a little child.
"Dad!" he exclaimed, and it all made sense. Mikey had been the most affected when our father left. He was still pretty young, after all. Like the tough boy he was -or wanted us to think he was- he had always played it cool and said he was okay with seeing dad only a few times a year. But I knew he missed him a lot, I knew he'd love to have him close and be able to talk to him when needed; in person, not through the phone. That's all he had at the moment, though. "Thanks! Yeah, I'm fine, we're all fine here. Yeah, of course she's here too I...nah, I don't know. I don't think it's time yet, dad."
He continued to converse and laugh with him until he suddenly spotted me, looking at him and surely grinning in a goofy way.
"Hey dad, I know you're usually short of time, so I better let you talk to Gerard for a while...yes? Uh? What!? Are you serious?" his eyes went so big that I thought they would pop out. "But...how? Ok, bye."
"What was that?" I asked.
"Dad's coming, now. Said he didn't tell us anything earlier because there was some trouble with the flights and he wasn't sure if he'd make it on time or at which hour." he replied monotonously, still in shock.
"When is he coming?"
"Now, Gerard. With now I meant... now. He wanted to surprise us, but then thought: 'what if they went out to celebrate?'. He'll be here in forty minutes to one hour, as much."
"Oh wow, I didn't expect that!"
"Did I hear well? Donald's coming...now?" Donna reappeared with more dishes and an incredulous expression.
"Y-your dad's c-coming?" Frankie tapped my shoulder.
"Yes, he is!"
"C-cool, I wanna m-meet him. I b-bet he's cool l-like..."
"Oh, fuck!" I practically crushed Frank against my chest to stop him from mentioning his father. I had told him not to, but he hadn't paid much attention and was also prone to get lost in the moment. "Mom, Mikey! We need to think of what we'll tell dad about Frankie!"
"You're right, I hadn't thought about it. Well, couldn't we tell him the truth?" Mikey proposed. "I mean, everything but the 'oh and by the way, dad: your son Gerard's a queer and Frankie's his boyfriend' part."
"Wh-what's a qu-queer?" Frankie questioned.
"A...not very nice way to call gay people, Mikey just loves to piss me off." I kissed his head. "Uh...I'm not sure, Mikes."
"Yes, I agree with Gerard. I don't think it's a good idea to tell Donald that Gerard's the one taking care of Frankie. Not today at least." my mom added.
"Why? It's something good..." Bob opined.
"I think she means that it's not a good idea to tell him now, being Mikey's birthday. Is it that, Donna?" Alicia guessed.
"Yes, it is. I don't know how he'd react. Months ago Gerard asked him for money to start all over again, he admitted to having screwed up. I don't think Donald will exactly approve this huge responsibility Gerard's assumed. I'm not saying he'll think it wrong, just that he'd have several things to tell Gerard. It might provoke some arguing, and no one wants that for a birthday party."
"Exactly. You might be an assholish prick, but you're still my brother and I don't want to ruin your night."
"Oh thanks, bitch!" Mikey retorted.
"Boys...enough!" mom grunted. "Are you ever gonna grow up?"
"I could help them with some strategic punishments!" Alicia smiled sweetly. "Men... You're the only one I'd never want to kick, Frankie!"
"M-my army w-would not let y-you, anyway! I...I kn-know they're not r-real...I d-do! B-but...maybe, well d-dunno but I'll b-be good 'cause d-don't wanna be k-kicked." Frank rambled. He seemed to be slightly absent again.
"Hey...what about me, Alicia? I haven't done anything wrong!" Bob pointed out.
"True, so far..."
"Well, people, what do we tell dad if not the truth?" I consulted them.
"I say we tell him only half of the truth." mom thought aloud.
"What do you mean?"
She exposed her idea, and all of us concurred that it was the best option. What's more, it wouldn't make my dad that angry once I told him the real version -which I intended to do before he went back home- since it wasn't that different from this alternative one.
After that, we did our best to explain everything to Frank; the reason why we couldn't tell my dad the truth about him yet, and what we'd say instead. It wasn't easy, since all the food was on the table and he was rather busy choosing what to eat next. But, after some insistence and several questions from his side, he finally said it was okay.
Frankie didn't speak a single word from then on, he just ate in silence. Mikey joked with him, repeating that he had meant it when he said he didn't mind him being noisy. However, I knew Mikey had nothing to do with Frankie's quietude. The talk about our father had probably brought all the confusion and fear back. It had to be it, otherwise not even food would keep him from talking his socks off when having the whole family around.
******
There was a knock on the door and Mikey and I ran towards it excitedly. Nonetheless, once we had our father in front of us, we proceeded to act very differently. No one would have thought that we hadn't seen each other in months. That's how it always was every time he'd come; like a custom, a wordless agreement. I was sure it had started with us not wanting our father to feel guilty for moving so far away. We knew the opportunity that had brought him to make the decision wasn't one to be declined.
My brother and I believed that if we were too effusive when seeing him, he would realise how much we missed him and feel like shit. Therefore, we'd always greet him casually, as if we had been together only the day before. Our father had learned to do the same. Maybe because he had gotten the hint and thought it better for everybody, maybe because he just liked to play tough -same as Mikey.
Those moments would always be weird, full of contained emotion; but we were three fools and wouldn't give up our acting. Our mother hated our stupidity.
So once again the reunion was happy, yet measured. Warm smiles, some pats on each other's backs, a 'happy birthday' for Mikey, the regular obligated questions and the usual hair comments -because dad had never appreciated our hairstyles much. Lastly he addressed our friends and Alicia, acting friendly and polite.
That being said, this night proved to be special. It must have been something in the air, or the way the wind blew; who knows? The fact is, that it had one more surprise saved for us.
We were still standing next to the door speaking about random things, when I noticed that our father wasn't really participating. He wasn't talking, only contemplating us with smiling, watery eyes.
"Dad...?"
"Oh, to hell with it!" he exclaimed abruptly. "Come here you two, so I can give you a proper hug!"
We didn't waste time and dived into our father's short but robust open arms. Mine and Mikey's met and interlaced as the oldest Way pressed us closer to his chest, kissing our heads and then our cheeks. It felt so good to break the tradition.
"You don't have an idea how much I've missed you. It's...so hard sometimes. I suddenly couldn't stand it anymore, I had to see my sons so I left everything in other people's hands. I didn't care if they'd like it or not, I just had to come, I couldn't wait until Christmas break!"
"We d-do have an idea dad, we do..." Mikey murmured, sobbing for the second time that night.
"Yes, we've missed you a lot, too. We understand that things must be this way, we're grown ups now and would never reproach you anything. But that doesn't stop us from missing you terribly and always wishing for an extra visit." I also cried. "And again, I'm so so sorry about the last time you saw me...I imagine that wasn't exactly what you'd expected me to go see you for, I..."
"Gerard," he looked down at me and sealed my lips with his index finger. "that's in the past, we've talked about it over the phone. You did what you promised me, you picked yourself up, so no need to apologize. You didn't fail me, son, I'm actually proud of you."
"Thank you. I love you, dad."
"I love you too, you fool! Both of you! But now no more tears, isn't this a birthday party?" he let us go though we remained clung to him a little longer, all of us smiling.
"Yeah, kinda. They always insist on it...what to do?" Mikey rolled his eyes dramatically. Our father took some distance and stared at him, shaking his head.
"I can't believe my little Mikey's 20!"
"Neither can I, I'm old! Mom must think the same, 'cause she got herself a new youngest child." he pointed at the dinning room. "Come meet him."
Once there, my father curiously approached the table. Near it Frankie was crying softly on my mother's lap.
"Hello, Donald." she smiled. Their relationship was good. Sure, they had their fights once in a while over the phone, but they weren't those kind of ex-spouses who can't see each other after the divorce. "I'm glad you three finally stopped the bullshit and accepted that you miss each other. This little buddy here was spying the scene and began to cry, he's too sensitive."
"But...who is he, exactly?" dad wondered. "Mikey said you had a new younger son, what...?"
"That's right! Donald...this is Frankie, my youngest kid. Frankie...this is Donald, Gerard and Mikey's dad." mom introduced them.
"H-hi, Donald!" Frankie dried his tears and grinned, extending his small hand.
CHAPTER 57
Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow,
why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
build up, and stand in our way.
"Pleased to meet you, Frankie." dad shook his hand, then looked at mom perplexed. "You adopted a...what? 15 year-old boy?"
"N-no, I'm ei-eighteen. " Frank corrected. "G-gonna be nineteen on H-halloween!"
"Oh...sorry, you're a bigger boy than I thought! And let me tell you that you have the best birthday ever."
"Y-yes!"
"Donna, all the more I need to ask...how...?"
"I haven't exactly adopted him yet, it's what I intend to do. So far we've been trying to find out something about him." she told him calmly.
"I know it'll sound bad 'cause we're talking about a human being but...where did you get him from?" my father questioned us.
"Uh...remember when I went to see you? On my way back I found Frankie in the street. I couldn't leave him there alone, so I brought him home." I recalled.
"M-my mom left m-me. D-didn't want me 'c-cause I'm special." Frankie mumbled, huddling even closer to my mother. Dad watched him compassionately.
"Are you sure no one's searching for him?"
"Yes I'm sure, Donald. Didn't you hear what Frankie said? And as I told you, we did investigate about him. I'll do things legally as soon as I can, but I don't want him to end up in a shitty public institution, you know?" mom got more into character.
"N-no...don't w-want to. P-please..." Frankie sniffed, not quite understanding it was all part of an act.
"Shh Frankie, don't worry, you're staying with us." I kissed his temple.
"Don't get me wrong, Donna. What you did is admirable, but you could get in real trouble for keeping this boy. Although I don't have knowledge of his condition, I gather he can't be in charge of himself in spite of being 18. Legally, a court should decide on him."
"NO!" I heartily reacted to my father's words.
"Donald please, I don't want to talk about it with Frankie present. And Gerard...calm down, your father was just saying how these things usually work, and he's right. But you know I wouldn't expose Frankie to that." she took my hand and spoke to her ex-husband again. "Gerard and Frankie grew very fond of each other."
"I see...I'm so happy that you've changed this much for good, son. Now that I met Frankie, I think he might have helped a little. So," he murmured in my ear. "what does the kid have exactly?"
"Oh, no need to make it secret, Frankie knows. He has schizophrenia and mild brain damage. Lived in a mental institution most of his life." I informed him.
"M-means my b-brain's ill and...and l-little broken." Frank nodded. "B-but I take m-meds for the ill-illness."
"Thanks for the explanation Frankie, those words sounded too complicated! You look fine to me though, so the meds must be good." dad ran a hand through Frank's hair. I felt blessed that my father was a kind, merciful person despite his harsh appearance. "Donna...how do you pay for the medication? I know they're expensive, and I don't think you can get them for free without giving away the boy's identity. Not that I know much about that subject, I'm an architect, not a man of law, but..."
"Well..." she doubted and I realised we hadn't thought of that part. "...we all collaborate with it, even Gerard's friends. They also help with taking care of Frankie sometimes."
"You're all nuts. You know that, right?" my father grabbed his head and chuckled.
"They are! I'm always telling them, but then they say I'm grumpy." Mikey, who had been listening to us, gave his witty opinion.
"Y-you are grumpy. Y-yes!" Frank giggled.
"Oh, yeah? And you are a dwarf!"
"N-no I'm not, I...I'm just s-small, asshole!"
"Leave Frankie alone, broomstick, or I'll tell your girlfriend to give you the promised punishment." I messed up his hair with both hands, which he hated me doing. I didn't know what the problem was, that thing on his head always looked like a bird nest without my assistance.
"You leave my fucking hair alone, effeminate!" he shoved me.
"D-don't push G-gee or...or I'll t-tell Puppy to b-bite your ass to d-death!" Frankie left my mom's lap and stood in between me and Mikey, reprimanding him with a raised finger.
"What the...?" I heard our father say.
"Siblings." mom shrugged.
Finally, we all had our very late dinner in peace. Previous to this, Mikey had made a bet with Alicia over whether Frankie would steal our father's heart too. Mikey had said that dad was too serious, and even if he would surely like Frankie -because he wasn't an insensible person- he'd restrain himself from paying the boy too much attention. Alicia, on the other hand, had been certain that not even the older 'tough guy' from the Ways would be able to resist Frankie's sweetness.
At first, Mikey was the assumed winner. Our dad kept talking to us and Bob, apparently disregarding the youngest member of the table who was being entertained by our mother and Alicia. That changed when Frankie randomly asked dad if he had ever seen a Martian vine. He seemed lost at the question, but I guessed the awkwardness had more to do with the boy's speech impediment. My dad had never been a very patient person.
He voiced a short reply, presumably thinking that Frankie would get bored and ask someone else; but my boyfriend had other plans and proceeded to describe the plant animatedly, not giving dad the chance to ignore him. My father visibly softened and relaxed, and soon we observed the two strike up the most absurd conversations with enviable naturalness.
"In your face, Mikey Way, in your face!" Alicia screamed to my brother. "I win!"
"Hush, woman! I know. Are you high on Coca Cola?"
"Maybe! But still...I won and you lost!" she smirked. Those two were far too amusing.
"I guess I'm the only remaining macho in the Way family..." he uttered, causing a laugh explosion around him.
"Excuuuse me, bro? Did you hit your head and go amnesic? You cried twice tonight. Not once... twice! One of those due to having been conquered by Frankie's charm." I pinched his cheeks. He made a guttural sound.
"Fuck off."
"Later, but now I wanna hear what Alicia has prepared for you after her epic win."
"Wh-what she won?" Frankie overheard us and got intrigued.
"This is adult stuff, kid, go back to your own conversation." Mikey told him with a patronizing smile.
"F-fuck you!" Frank stuck out his tongue and turned away.
"Don't worry, Frankie, I think Alicia's about to punish him." I laughed. "So...what's the punishment?"
"I haven't really thought of anything, losing is enough for Mikey, he hates it! But," she glanced at him with malice. "boyfriend of mine, I dare you to not complain about anything and to not insult or treat anyone bad for the rest of the night. You fail, I leave and you don't see my face -or any other part of me- for a week."
"What? That's not fair!" Mikey claimed.
"You're already complaining! I'm gonna let that one pass, but from now on I wanna see nice Mikey." Alicia made clear.
And Mikey obeyed. He smiled sincerely, talked cordially and even laughed with me and Frankie. He didn't have to fake, just allowed his inner self to show without that wall he insisted on setting up.
At a point, after dessert, I noticed Frankie staring at me intensely. I knew that look too much, so I tried hard to avoid it; but every time I succumbed he'd flash me a seductive smile. Bob had seen my struggle and was having fun with it. Frank eventually stopped trying and sat pouting.
"G-gee..." he patted my shoulder.
"Yes?"
"I...I g-gotta pee." he said timidly. He hadn't been peeing in wrong places lately, mostly because he'd finally learned to let us know when he needed to go.
"Let's not wait, then." we both got up. "Excuse us, family, nature calls."
"W-we'll be back." he added.
Frankie grabbed my hand as soon as we left the dining room and didn't let go when we reached the bathroom. He pulled me inside with him instead.
"Frankie...didn't you need to pee?" I asked surprised.
"Y-yes but...but not th-that much, l-later." he answered indifferently.
"Then what..." I couldn't finish. Frank's lips crashed against mine as the bathroom's door closed under my weight.
"I...I n-needed to k-kiss you." he grinned and pecked my lips one more time. "An-and couldn't th-there 'cause you...you t-told me your d-dad can't know w-we're boyfriends yet."
"Ahh, I see! Well, that was a great surprise kiss, baby." I laughed.
"L-liked it?"
"I loved it. Now you better pee so we can go back, or someone will come looking for us." I suggested, but Frank wanted more. He'd ingested too much sugar. "Frankie, if we go on they'll notice. Remember how Bob and Ray knew we'd been kissing? It's also late..."
"Oh...y-yeah, kay." he sighed disappointed, walking to the toilet while he unzipped his jeans.
******
"Well, we're leaving, else I won't get any sleep." I announced.
"I should be going to..." my father took a look at the clock on the wall.
"Why? Where are you staying?"
"A hotel, I guess. I'll be in town for two more days."
"That's not necessary. You stay here in my old room, I'm sure mom won't mind."
"Yeah dad, you don't have to pay for a hotel." Mikey opined.
"But...isn't Frankie in Gerard's old room?"
"Uh...well yeah, but there's still the couch." mom noted, faltering.
"Frankie's coming with me, remember mom?" I winked at her.
"Oh, you're right. I start forgetting things at the end of the day, sorry." she hit her forehead.
"He can stay until dad leaves, it won't be a problem." I assured, hearing Mikey and Bob's snickers at my back.
"Don't you have to work, son?" my father doubted.
"Yes, but Ray takes care of Frankie. When he can't, my boss lets me bring the boy with me and she watches over him." I explained. "Right, Frankie?"
"Y-yes. S-sarah's cool and...and R-ray's very nice. H-he's my un-uncle Ray." he commented happily, though a little drowsily. It was too late and it was a miracle that he was still awake.
"Ok then, if the kid's alright with it I'm taking his bed."
"Y-yes, you c-can have it, D-donald." Frank assented.
"You're a great boy, Frankie. It's easy to see why everybody here loves you so much."
Parting wasn't easy and it specifically wasn't quick. Alicia wouldn't let go of Frankie; kissing, squeezing and telling him how pretty, sweet, and cute he was. Frankie loved that treatment, so no way he would try to get away. Mikey ended up forcing her to loosen her grip and pushing Frank towards me.
When it was my father's turn, somehow a simple 'good night' turned into an argument about whether elephants were dangerous. It seemed the visit to the zoo and the talk with the elephants' keeper hadn't been enough to totally terminate Frank's fears. He insisted that there could be free elephants on the streets and those were the bad ones. I had to stop the debate. A sleepy Frankie wasn't the friendliest person to argue with, and he'd already begun to raise his voice.
"Enough, Frankie, no need to get angry."
"B-but...but he d-doesn't understand!"
"I do, I just want you to know that you won't find elephants on the street." my father explicated gently.
"Y-yes you can." Frank spat, lying his head on my chest with an annoyed groan. "H-head hurts."
"He needs sleep, he's usually in bed much earlier." I told dad, who then just kissed Frank's forehead.
"See you both tomorrow, I'll be there around 5." he said, making me gulp loudly. I'd have to tell him the truth and still wasn't sure if I could tell him everything.
Mikey was reluctant to even get close to Frank after seeing how moody the lack of sleep made him. He shouted a 'bye, Frankie' while cunningly slipping out of the room.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going, Michael Way?" his girlfriend queried.
"Uh...bathroom?"
"You don't fool me, love. Here. Now." she commanded firmly, yet with a honeyed tone.
"What?!"
"The night's not over yet, and you lost a bet. Nice Mikey, remember?"
"Yes but..."
"Nice Mikey should say goodbye to Frankie properly." she sang. "You know? Mom would love me to stay home the whole week to help her out, she's always saying I spend too much time with you..."
"But..." Mikey wouldn't comply and Alicia was waving at him. By now, we were all watching them as if they were part of a TV show. The girl was close to becoming my idol. "Al...I could be nice Mikey, but he's not exactly nice Frankie right now!"
"Bullshit, excuses." she picked at her nails. "Frankie won't bite you or kick your balls if you're nice. I might, thought, if you're not. "
"Why am I with you again?"
"Because you love me, duh!" she threw him a kiss.
My brother clumsily made his way to us, looking down and fidgeting with his sleeves.
"Wh-what's wrong, M-mikey?" Frank asked. "I w-won't hit you, p-promise!"
"Nothing, I know, I just...wanted to thank you for the drawing. I'm gonna hang it in my room because it's too good not to."
"R-really?" Frank's excitement broke through his tiredness. Even thought he had wanted the present to have a hook on the back to be hung, he had sadly told me that he didn't think Mikey would display it. I wasn't sure if my brother was telling the truth, but it had been a sweet thing to say regardless.
"I will."
"Of course he will!" Alicia annotated. As much as I loved the way she put my brother in place, I couldn't understand how someone with Mikey's character allowed it.
A last hug followed, shorter than the previous one because Mikey was still slightly reticent to show more of his soft side.
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