Crazy fans for one.

(FRED is sniffing the sock he got from MOE)

FRED

I'm not crazy.

GUARD

The guy can't step outside without a hoard of fans attacking him. He has no life. He's always in hiding.

SAM

And you're hiding with him. Hearing his secrets.

GUARD

His biggest secret is that he sleeps with a teddy bear.

FRED

I'm totally tweeting that.

(FRED gets on his phone)

SAM

What? No big secrets? No wild illegal parties?

GUARD

He acts all cool in public. Has his fun beating and hurting fans and acting all bad, but he's actually a pretty nice guy in private.

FRED

How disappointing.

SAM

He's probably lying.

FRED

Yeah.

GUARD

Whatever.

(MOE rushes through with FANS in pursuit)

MOE

Help me!

(SAM and FRED chase MOE. GUARD jumps in the way of the girls)

GUARD

Hold it ladies.

MORGAN

Move it, bub. Or lose it!

GUARD

But I've got some exclusive memorabilia.

ALEXIS

What? What? Show us!

GUARD

I have here a piece of gum he chewed on the way here.

VICTORIA

I want it! I want it!

(GUARD gives it to her and she pops in her mouth)

VICTORIA (CONT.)

It's like kissing him.

BRIANNA

What else you got?

(GUARD takes out bag of chips)

GUARD

Half eaten bag of chips that he dropped on the floor and stepped on.

MORGAN

Me! Me!

GUARD

There you go.

MORGAN

I'll sprinkle these crumbs on everything I eat from now on.

GUARD

And I have a hat that has been on his head. There might even be a hair of his in here.

(The girls scream and fight for it. MOE enters and sees them fighting)

MOE

What is that all about?

(GUARD goes over to MOE and girls don't notice because they are too busy fighting over the hat)

GUARD

A little distraction technique I came up with.

MOE

Isn't that your hat?

GUARD

No, it's your hat.

MOE

I don't wear hats.

GUARD

They don't know that.

MOE

Now I see why I keep you around.

GUARD

I'm the best.

MOE

Ah! Incoming!

(SAM and FRED appear)

SAM

Dude!

FRED

Score!

MOE

Run!

(GUARD and MOE run. Girls notice and scream. They all rush after MOE. A Scooby-Do style chase scene happens of everyone running different directions and crashing and MOE trying to hide)

GUARD

Don't they ever give up?

MOE

I quit!

(Everyone stops)

BRIANNA

What?

MOE

That's it. I quit. I'm tired of you all chasing me and going crazy over me... I can't step outside without being mauled. I used to like to take walks in the park... I haven't seen a park in years. I just want to go to a park and feed some ducks... and watch them maul each other over bread. What are you all mauling me over? I don't get it. Why can't you all leave me alone! So I quit. I don't want to be your star anymore. I just want to be able to get a cup of coffee, take a walk and maybe... see a movie. And be left alone! Get it! Stop! I am not doing this anymore.

(MOE leaves)

MORGAN

He's cute when he's angry.

VICTORIA

Дата добавления: 2015-11-04