Prologue

I'm ^[1]a 34 year old homeless and jobless person.

I'm plump and ugly, a nice guy who regrets how he lived his life.

I wasn't homeless three hours ago; I was a veteran NEET who didn't leave my room the whole year.

However, my parents had already passed away before I noticed it.

As a NEET, I didn't even attend the family meeting, let alone the funeral.

And in the end, I was chased out of the house.

I banged loudly on the walls and floor, flailing about as if no one was at home, for no one spoke up for me..

I was masturbating in my room on the funeral day, when my siblings suddenly rushed in, dressed in mourning clothes, and declared to sever all relations with me.

I ignored them, and my younger brother took a wooden bat and destroyed the computer that I viewed more important than my life.

Half-crazed, I lunged at them, but my older brother has a dan rank in karate, and I was viciously beaten in turn.

I sobbed and begged for forgiveness in an unsightly manner, but I was chased out of the door, and didn't even have time to change my clothes.

I endured the throbbing pain in my chest (my ribs are most probably broken), and walked unsteadily on the streets.

My siblings' rebukes resounded in my ears when I left the house.

Those were harsh insults that were difficult to take in.

My heart was completely broken.

What did I do wrong?

All I did was that I masturbated to a mosaic-less loli video during my parents' funeral......^[2]

What shall I do next?

No, my mind does indeed know.

Find a job or part time job, then a place to live in, and buy some food.

How should I go about this?

I don't know what I should do to find a job.

Hmm, I still know about going to "Hello"^[3].

But though I'm not showing off that I have more than 10 years experience in staying indoors, how the heck should I know where Hello is? Furthermore, even if I go to Hello, I heard that it only introduces me to a job.

I have to take a resume, go to the recommended place, and take an interview. I have to go for an interview in a dirty sweatsuit covered with sweat and blood.

Heck if I can get employed. Even I won't employ such a fellow wearing something crazy like that. Maybe I will sympathize with him, but I definitely won't employ him.

Are there any shops that sell resume papers?.

Stationery store? Convenience store?

Maybe a convenience store might have it if I do go there, but I don't have any money.

And then, what will I do if I settle all of that?

Assuming that I do get lucky, managed to borrow money from a financial institute, get a change of clothes and buy some resume papers and stationery.

I heard that I can't complete the resume if I don't record down my residence.

It's over. Right at this moment, I finally found my life has reached its end.

".....Hah."

It started to rain.

It's the end of summer, the period where it starts to turn cold. The icy rain pierces through my clothes that I don't know how many years I've worn it for, mercilessly stealing my body heat away.

The icy rain pierces through my clothes that I don't know how many years I worn it for, mercilessly stealing my body heat away

"...... If I can start over from the beginning."

I couldn't help myself from saying that.

I wasn't born such a rotten human.

I was born as the third son in a somewhat wealthy family. Two older brothers, one older sister, and one younger brother. The fourth in amongst the 5 siblings. In primary school, I was praised as clever despite having a young age.

Even though I wasn't considered great at studies, I was good at games, a brat who's pretty good at sports. I was even once the center of attention in my class.

Then in junior high school I entered the computer club, consulted through magazines, and saved enough money to assemble a computer. I stood out amongst my family who couldn't write a single code.

The turning point in my life was high school...... no, it started in the third year of junior high. I was so busy tinkering with the computer that I neglected my studies. Thinking back about it now, that was where it all started.

I thought that learning stuff was useless for the future. I felt it couldn't be used in real life.

In the end, I entered the most idiotic high school, considered the worst in the prefecture.

Even so, I thought that was nothing.

I felt that I will succeed if I got serious, and that I was different from other idiots. That was what I thought.

I still remember the incident back then.

While queuing up to buy lunch at the cafeteria, there was a fellow who cut the queue.

I grumbled a few sentences as if I was acting out of righteousness. That was due to the strange pride and chuunibyou^[4] personality I had.

Unfortunately, that was my senpai, and one of the two most dangerous persons in the school.

I ended up being punched in the face until it was swollen, was stripped naked and tied in front of the school.

He took a lot of pictures, and easily distributed them all over the school..

I fell to the bottom of the hierarchy in an instant, got laughed at by others, and even got a nickname of "Foreskin boy"'.

I didn't go to school for a month, and became a hikikomori. Upon seeing me like this, my father and brothers said irresponsible words to me like, bring out your courage, do your best.

I wasn't the one at fault

Nobody in that sort of situation will continue to attend school. There is no way.

Thus, no matter what anyone else said, I adamantly continued my shut-in lifestyle.

I felt that the peers who knew me will all be looking at my pictures, mocking me.

Even if I don't go out, as long as I have the computer and internet, I can spend my time away. Due to the internet's influence, I got interested in many things, and did a number of stuff. Assembling plastic models, painting figurines, creating weblogs. My mother seemed to support me, as long as I requested it, she will come up with the money to help me out.

But, I was sick of them all in less than a year.

I lost my motivation whenever I saw someone being better than me,

To others, I was merely fooling around. But as I was alone with so much time, hiding in my dark shell, I had nothing else to do.

No, even when I think back on it, that was merely an excuse.

At the very least, it would be a better choice if I was to become a mangaka and started publishing terrible web comics, or to become a web novelist and started posting novels.

Many people who share similar circumstances did something like that.

I made fun and slighted at those people.

Mocking their creations, thinking myself as a critic, saying things like "It's worse than shit", criticizing them.

Even though I did nothing at all......

I want to go back.

If it's possible, I want to go back to primary school where it was my life's highest point, or during the middle of junior school. No, even if it's one year or two. Even if it's a little bit of time, I can still do something with it. Even though I gave up halfway through, I can start over no matter what.

If I put in my utmost effort, even if I don't become the best, I can at least be a pro.

"......"

Why didn't I do anything up till now?

I once had a lot of time. Even though I didn't leave my room during that time, I can do a lot of things as long as I sit in front of the computer. Even if I couldn't make it the top, I can stay somewhere in the middle and continue to put in effort.

Manga, novels, games, or even coding. If I put in every effort, I should be able to make small accomplishments. Even putting aside whether the accomplishments can be turned into money......

Ah, never mind. It's useless.

I had never worked hard before. Even if I go back to the past, I will probably trip in a similar place, and stop at a similar place. I ended up like this because I never crossed the hurdle a normal human could.

"Hm?"

Somewhere in the heavy rain, I heard people arguing.

What's that commotion about?

It's annoying, I don't want to be involved. Even though I was thinking of that, my feet wanted to ahead over to them.

"---- That's why, you----"

"You're the one-----"

Entering my sight seemed to be 3 high school students having a lovers' spat.

Two guys and one girl. They are dressed in the now uncommon collared student uniforms and a sailor uniform.

It seemed there was some sort of a harem war going on here. The taller boy is quarreling with the girl, and the other boy is trying to mediate, but the two quarreling parties aren't listening at all.

(Hmm, I had something, like that before)

I once had a somewhat cute childhood friend in Junior High. She can be considered cute, and could be ranked number 4 or 5. She participated in the track and field club, and had short hair. She had the kind of appearance that would cause 2, 3 out of 10 people to turn back. However, I was very passionate over a particular anime, and felt that those in the track and field club must have a ponytail, so I thought she was an ugly girl.

However, her home was near mine, we frequently shared the same class during primary school, and we went home together not just once. We had plenty of chances to talk together, and also bickered at times. It's a pity. In my current state, just listening to the words, junior high, childhood friend, running club, is enough for me to cum 3 times.

By the way, I heard that childhood friend got married 7 years ago.

I overheard this rumor from the living room, where my siblings were talking.

Our relationship wasn't bad. We were able to talk without reservations since we've known each other from a young age.

I didn't think she liked me, but if I studied hard and entered the same high school, or if I joined the track and field club and entered the same school by recommendation, I might even raise a flag^[5]. If I make a serious confession, we might even be dating each other..

I can flirt and bicker with her like the trio, and we might even do perverted things in an empty classroom after school.

Hah, what eroge is this?

(Come to think of it, these people are really damned riajuus. Just explode already.... Hm?)

Suddenly, in that instant, I realized.

A truck was charging towards the trio at a tremendous speed.

Also, the driver in the truck was lying prone at the wheel.

He was driving in a sleep depraved state.

And the three still hadn't noticed.

"D-d-d-Danger!!"

I tried to warn them by yelling, but I haven't used my vocal cords fully for over 10 years, and the cold rain and the pain in my ribs caused them to shrink further; The teeny-weeny, trembling voice I eked out vanished in the rain.

I must save them, I have to. At the same time, I thought, why must I have to save them?

I had a gut feeling that if I don't save them, I will regret it 5 seconds later. I will absolutely regret it if I see the 3 people getting smashed into a bloody pulp by the truck.

Regretting over why I didn't save them.

Therefore, I had to save them.

In any case, I probably will starve to death by the roadside soon after. For that moment at least, I hope to have some satisfaction.

I don't want to be left regretting at the very end.

--I ran and hobbled along towards them.

My legs are not moving as I want to, as I had had not moved them much for the past 10 years. This is the first time in my life that I wished I had exercised more. The broken ribs are pulsing with excruciating pain, hindering my every step. This is the first time in my life that I wished I had taken more calcium.

It hurts. It hurts so much that I can't run.

But I still ran. Ran.

I was running.

The arguing boy hugged the girl when he noticed the truck approaching in front of his eyes. The other boy had his back facing the truck, and had not noticed, merely surprised by his companion's sudden action. I grabbed his collar without any hesitation, and used all my strength to pull him back. The boy was pulled away, and fell to the roadside, out of the truck's path.

Good. Two more to go.

Just when I had this thought, the truck was already in front of me. I was just planning to pull them from a safe distance, but If I pull them back, the recoil will cause me to move forward.

It is to be expected, and it doesn't matter even if I weighed over 100kg. As a result of sprinting with my trembling legs, I got dragged forward by the momentum.

I felt there was a light behind me the moment I got hit by the truck.

Is that the rumored light of flashback before death? I couldn't see anything at that short instance. It was just too fast.

Did it mean that I did so little in my life?

I was sent flying onto the concrete wall by the truck 50 times heavier than I am,.

"Puhh.....!"

The air in my lungs was pushed out. My lungs that demanded air from the hard running, spasmed.

I couldn't utter a sound. But, I'm not dead yet. The accumulated fat was probably what saved me......

But once I thought of that, the truck appeared in front of my eyes again.

I was flattened like a tomato between the concrete ground and truck.

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04