Chapter fourteen

Beneath a tepid July sun, Gail stood with Tannen and Karen. Burying the remains of her daughter was less difficult than she had imagined. Burial brought her longed-for closure. Most of all, she hoped it would give rest to her daughter. This was their first and final separation in eighteen years. Gail retained none of Olivia's ashes.

Father Lawlor spoke in final prayer.

"O gentlest heart of Jesus, ever present in the Blessed Sacrament, ever consumed with burning love for the poor captive souls in Purgatory, have mercy on the soul of Thy departed servant Olivia."

Gail whispered with final anguish, "Not a breath of air filled your tiny lungs, not a ray of sun touched your flesh. You never saw night or day." Gail held a tissue against her nose. "I promised you the world, but gave you nothing more than a name. I'm sorry, my beautiful Olivia, but I have to release you." Gail sobbed while the priest ended the prayer.

"And do Thou, O merciful Savior, send the angels to conduct Thy departed servant to a place of refreshment, light, and peace. Amen."

"Amen," Karen and Tannen repeated.

Gail stood motionless until Tannen guided her to the small encasement. She touched a white rose to her lips and placed it atop the steel frame. Tannen followed with her rose, and then Karen placed hers with the others.

"Love is eternal," Karen said.

"Rest well, Olivia," Gail said, turned, and walked toward the car. Karen opened the door when she approached. "I want to walk home, Karen. Will you walk with me, Tannen?"

"Of course, darling."

"Gail, don't hurt your knee. It's five miles to my house," Karen said.

If any words could remove some of the heaviness from Gail's heart, it was Karen's last sentence. Gail looked at Tannen. She saw the glimmer in her eyes as Tannen held back a smile, but neither woman could control their need to say it.

"Just a good stretch of the legs," they said in unison.

Karen looked at them oddly. "I won't argue with two grown women, especially when one is wielding a cane." Karen kissed each of them on the cheek. "Call me if you can't finish." She looked over at the casket and then to Gail. She embraced Gail. "You'll be okay now, honey. This is the right thing for you, and for Olivia." Karen wiped her own tears away. She got into Jeff's Mercedes and drove off. Gail and Tannen headed in the same direction.

"How are you feeling, darling?" Tannen took Gail's hand.

"I'm torn. I feel as though she died again. At the same time, I feel immense relief." They walked quietly for a while. "I wonder how she would have grown. Would she have looked like me? Her father was handsome. Having his genes would have been a plus for her."

"She would have been lovely. Not as lovely as her mother, of course." She looked over at Gail. "Why did you name her Olivia?"

Gail blushed. "When I saw Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, I was smitten by Olivia Hussey."

Tannen nodded. "She was certainly a looker."

"Tannen, I'm feeling guilty for wanting to change my life. I feel I owe Olivia something, but there's nothing I can do."

"Darling, for eighteen years, you've felt guilt. You promised your love to someone who can do nothing with it." Tannen stopped and turned back to face the edge of the cemetery. She turned Gail to face the same direction. A wrought iron fence, separating the living from the deceased, reached to Gail's shoulders. Tannen pointed toward the final resting place of many others. "Aside from keeping Olivia in your heart, this is the only thing you can give her. There's nothing wrong with you wanting a different life."

"I know." Gail turned away and they continued their walk down the tree-lined road. She looked into the trees that were now lush with green leaves and bent with each exhale of wind. Summer has been good to the foliage. "I want to celebrate life today. Perhaps we could have a drink with Karen and Jeff?"

"If that's what you want, why not celebrate all living things?" They walked quietly for several minutes.

"What an eerie coincidence it is, that your name is Olivia."

"It makes one wonder if life is predestined." Then she said, "You should search Tannen Albright on IMDB dot com. Maybe you'll learn some more things about Olivia Quinn."

"I'd prefer to find out in person. There is one thing I'd like to know now. How old are you?"

Tannen laughed. "You'll have to cut me in half and count my rings. I'm forty-two," she looked at her watch, "as of eight hours and seventeen minutes ago."

"What? You never mentioned it was your birthday! Again, Karen doesn't tell me."

"We had more pressing issues, Gail. I'm not so sure Karen knows, and it doesn't matter all that much anyway. It means more that I could be here for you."

"It does matter, Tannen. You matter, and we could have done something for you." Gail took Tannen into a warm embrace. "Happy birthday, sweetheart. The only thing I can give you for a gift is a kiss." She pushed Tannen's hair away from her eyes. Her fingers lingered against Tannen's neck.

"Very acceptable," Tannen said, looking into Gail's eyes. "I'd like it now, please."

Gail pulled Tannen forward. She leaned down and lovingly took Tannen's lips. She felt no guilt, no need to correct her actions when a car drove past and the driver beeped at them. Both smiled, separating their mouths.

"You always have an audience, actor lady."

Gail put her arm around Tannen. They walked until Gail looked back and could no longer see the cemetery. Her knee ached and begged for a rest. Tannen called Karen for a ride.

"Our girl is ready to call it quits," she said to Karen. "Right, then. We'll see you in a few minutes." Tannen closed her phone. "Jeff has returned and he'll be here shortly. Karen has invited us in, if you're up for a visit."

Gail leaned her arms against a split rail fence. An open meadow was before her. Two deer grazed fifty yards away, near the tree line. A flock of Canada geese swooped in, honking their arrival.

"Karen and I talked for a long time last night. It felt good to clear the air with her. She and Jeff mean an awful lot to me."

"Karen loves you very much, Gail. She's a friend you'll have forever."

Gail took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. She turned to Tannen. "I want you to know that I've decided to see a therapist."

"Come here, darling." She embraced Gail. A delicate kiss to Gail's cheek followed. "I'm very happy you've made that decision."

Gail rocked Tannen slowly. An entirely new world had opened for her, even if it meant seeing a shrink. It couldn't hurt, to sort through the images of the life she had known.

Gail nodded. "Perhaps I can find out why I gave Olivia control. Jeff can direct me to one of his colleagues, but I don't want to think about it today." She felt Tannen's soothing stroke on her back.

"I doubt you'll regret it. You have my support, darling."

Gail shrugged. "I've never experienced therapy. I almost look forward to unloading on someone."

"Therapy has good points. I think it's the best way to sort things out, but that's just me."

Gail squinted into the sun and then looked at Tannen. "Do you suppose there's a chance of finding a head-lopping Tudor? I could spill everything at once."

Tannen laughed. "Look so much as sideways at Jordann and I will personally excavate all of England for one."

Jeff approached in his red Mercedes. He maneuvered a hard U-turn and stopped ahead of Gail and Tannen.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get back for your service, Gail. Are you doing okay?" He assisted them into the vehicle.

"I'll be okay," she said. "Let's just laugh a lot tonight."

"If you're sure that's what you want, that's exactly what we'll do."

Less than five minutes later, Gail and Tannen walked into the dining room, and Karen lit the forty-second candle on a birthday cake. Tannen stopped in her tracks.

"You bloody knew it was my birthday!" An enlarged copy of Tannen's fruit and cheese photo hung on the wall behind the cake. "Brilliant! An Oscar winner at her best." Tannen pulled Gail over to the cake. "Remind me to throw your camera phone into the pool!" While they sang "Happy Birthday," Tannen closed her eyes to make a wish. In one breath, Tannen extinguished all the candles. "This is very touching."

Karen handed Gail a small blue Tiffany box. Gail fluffed up the ribbon and, with a small wave through the air, presented it to Tannen. "I think you'll like this," she said proudly.

Tannen opened it quickly. "Ooh, this is lovely," she said, displaying a gold Elsa Peretti starfish brooch. "I've admired this brooch in the past. Thank you so much, darling."

"Jeff and I weren't so elaborate, but we think you'll enjoy this." She handed Tannen an envelope. "Gail mentioned you wanted to eat fresh lobster until you burst. Both of you may burst, with our warmest regards."

"Really?" Tannen opened the envelope. "Oh, look, darling," She leaned closer to Gail and they studied the brochure that contained two round-trip helicopter fares to Cape Cod. "I love flying in helicopters."

"Also," Karen started, "Jeff, you tell her."

"A friend of ours has a small yacht on the bay. I just have to tell him when you want to go, and you'll have the keys."

"This is a wonderful surprise." She hugged Karen and then Jeff. "You'll join us on the yacht, of course."

"Try and stop me," Karen said, without hesitation.

"And finally..." Gail said.

Gail and their hosts grabbed small plastic bottles from the china cabinet. They quickly twisted off the caps and pulled out the looped plastic wands. They turned toward Tannen and bubbled her. Tannen feverishly attempted to pop each bubble. She was giddy with the bombardment.

They sat outside with coffee, and extra pieces of cake. "Karen," Gail said, "you once said to me that I would thank you. This is that day. Thank you."

Tannen took her hand.

Karen asked, "Does this mean you two are official?"

"I think we'll give it a go," Tannen said. "I thought she'd never let us be together." She turned to Gail. "You were truly a tough bottle, darling."

"Karen?" Jeff nudged her. "Anything to add?" Karen blushed and looked at Jeff. She narrowed her eyes. "Come on, tell them."

Karen looked at Gail and Tannen.

Gail immediately knew. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Her head whipped toward Karen. Karen laughed and covered her eyes with one hand, her shoulders shaking with stifled laughter. Jeff grinned broadly. Tannen looked at all of them as though they'd gone mad.

With a puzzled expression, Tannen asked Gail, "Did I miss something, darling?"

Astonished, Gail blurted, "You're pregnant!"

Tannen's head turned to Karen. "Really?"

"Thirteen weeks," Jeff said proudly.

"That's wonderful!" Tannen said.

Karen removed her hands from her face. "Oh my God!" she said. "I'm thirty-five and pregnant! He knocked me up and I cannot be happier."

Tannen leaned toward Karen. "We get to raid the toy stores now."

"Not a more perfect reason to celebrate life tonight." Gail toasted her friends with her coffee. "I'm very happy for you two."

Gail sat back and listened while they speculated on the future of a new baby. Karen sparkled through their conversation. She felt Karen and Jeff would be excellent, caring parents, and their child would be happy and healthy. She had never seen Karen ecstatic about anything, and she liked seeing this giggly, vulnerable side of her. She listened to their excited chatter before she stood and excused herself.

She walked into the house and upstairs to the small bedroom. Without closing the door, Gail sat on the edge of the bed. She grabbed a tissue from the box on the bed table and curled on the bed. Gail wept, now feeling her grief. She was envious of Karen and Jeff, but not in a mean way. She could only wonder how life might have been different if Olivia had survived. She closed her eyes and nearly dozed, but heard Karen's voice.

"Hey," Karen said softly.

"Hey." She kept her back to the door.

"Can we talk, honey?"

"Yes."

Karen approached from behind. Gail felt Karen curling against her. She pulled Karen's arm around and rested her cheek against Karen's hand. They talked quietly.

"Are you okay?" Karen asked.

"I'm sad. It's been a long day and I needed a moment alone."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Stay." Gail turned to face Karen. She looked into her eyes. "I'm very happy for you and Jeff."

"Maybe we should have waited to tell you. I'm sorry, Gail." She brushed a tear from Gail's cheek.

"Today, tomorrow, it wouldn't have mattered. Envy keeps no time schedules." She shrugged slightly.

"I suppose not." Karen pushed herself up onto her elbow and kept hold of Gail's hand. "Gail, we want you to be godmother."

Gail wiped her eyes. "I'd love to. I'd like that very much."

"Good." She looked at Gail for a long time. "When I met Jeff, I thought you would disappear from my life."

"It might have crossed my mind," Gail said. "When you put the fear of God into me, I was too frightened to shut you out."

"There's probably more truth to that than you would ever admit," Karen said. "I'm glad we worked on friendship, Gail. What I really want to say is Jeff and I love you. We think of you as family."

"I like the sound of that. I've always felt we were family."

"Good. I'm glad you and Tannen..."

"...stopped dicking around?"

"Exactly. When I see you, I can't help but think how right you look together."

Gail nodded. "I never knew saying 'I love you' could feel so good. Loving Tannen is a unique, fabulous feeling and I want it to continue. I don't want to stop my heart from loving her." Gail placed her hand against Karen's stomach. A child grew as they spoke. "What do you think? Is this a boy or girl?"

"Twins run in my family," Karen said with a laugh. "There could be both in there." She leaned over and kissed Gail's cheek. "Maybe we should get downstairs. God knows what those two are thinking." She pushed herself from the bed.

Gail sat up. "I'm sure they trust us together." She met Karen at the doorway and gave her an extended hug. "Thanks for coming to talk to me."

Gail and Tannen returned home. They were in the house no longer than five minutes when Tannen's cell rang. Gail rested on Tannen's bed with a hot pack on her knee. Tannen argued on the phone for twenty minutes. Gail explicitly heard the words "bloody hell" and "fucking idiot" more than once, before Tannen returned to the bedroom, entirely frustrated.

"Problems?" Gail asked.

"Processing damaged some film. That's Hollywood cover-up for someone fucked up royally. I have to go to bloody Los Angeles to shoot scenes over. A lot of them." Tannen growled and reached for Gail's hand. "I've been perfectly happy, not having to play make-believe. Aside from that, I've gained some weight and it will read very well on film."

"When do you leave?" Gail removed the hot pack and dropped it to the floor. She exercised the knee, as instructed by her physical therapist.

"Tomorrow morning. I'll fly out from Hartford." Tannen shrugged. "The show must go on."

Tannen took hold of Gail's leg and kissed the small, healing incisions on each side of her knee. She then continued the range-of-motion exercise for Gail. Gail reclined and watched, resting her hand on Tannen's thigh. Gail enjoyed the moments when Tannen took over with therapy. She also felt loved, which she enjoyed even more. Love proved to be refreshing.

"You don't seem overly concerned that I'm leaving," Tannen pouted. "I thought it might elicit a bit more attention from you. At least a hug that says you'll miss me."

Gail gently dug her fingers into Tannen's thigh. She shook it playfully.

"There's nothing I would like more than to have you here forever." Gail let her knee rest on the bed and she sat up. She lifted her good leg and wrapped it around Tannen's hip. "But forever is not practical." Tannen shifted to face Gail. "I know you'll be away often." She ran her fingers through Tannen's hair. "Come here." As Tannen moved closer, Gail gazed into her eyes. "You bring me joy. It's easier to love you, than it was to hide it."

"You love me, writer lady?"

"Completely," Gail said and kissed the back of Tannen's hand.

"Do you want me?"

Gail nuzzled Tannen's neck. She licked slowly to her earlobe and nibbled. "Desperately," she whispered.

"You know, darling, we haven't made love yet. We've attempted twice but failed."

"Oh." Gail grinned. "Is that what actor lady really means by hopes of eliciting more attention?"

"I'm feeling forgotten." Tannen touched the tip of her nose to Gail's.

"I haven't forgotten that coy isn't a word synonymous with you."

"True, but with all you've been through today and your pain medication making you sluggish, it would be selfish if I-"

"You're not forgotten." Gail pushed herself toward the middle of the bed. "Come here, you." She reached out her arms and Tannen fell into them quickly. "My knee hurts a little, but my mind is clear and I feel wonderful." She kissed Tannen's mouth. "I've been waiting for you to get off the phone. Do you know what the most difficult thing to write is?"

"Love scenes. They're the most difficult for me to act," Tannen said as they fought to remove each other's clothing.

"As luck would have it," she threw Tannen's thong to the side, "there's no reason for me to," she stretched on top of Tannen, "bother with changes, because," she bit into Tannen's neck, "I'm not writing this." Gail's tongue moved quickly along Tannen's collarbone. "I'm just going to"-Tannen pulled on Gail's ass. Their pelvises ground roughly together-"have you every way I can imagine."

Remembering her own thought, and every night I want to knock on her bedroom door, and...just...hold...her, Gail rolled slowly to her side, pulling Tannen with her. Her arms were loose, stroking with each word. She spoke softly. "Thank you for not giving up on me. I can't imagine not having you in my life."

Tannen looked into Gail's eyes. Her smile was soft. "Thank you for inviting me."

Without rhyme, without structure, Gail's mouth soaked the stretch of warm flesh beside her. Smooth, soft contours were stroked, bitten, sucked, and nuzzled. She fought to take both nipples into her mouth at once. Her body felt its own pulses in reaction to having any part of Tannen in her mouth.

"Oh. Don't stop." Tannen grabbed Gail's hand and placed it between her legs.

Gail's hand moved against Tannen. Her mouth covered a nipple. Rigid contours peaked against her tongue, while her fingers warmed from Tannen's heat. She released the breast and watched it fall softly into place.

"You're so wet, Tannen." She pulled her hand away and pressed her fingers to Tannen's lips. "Tell me how you taste."

Tannen took two fingers into her mouth. They sank slowly and deeply inside. Tannen's tongue slid along Gail's fingers. The only thing smoother and warmer waited below.

Tannen put Gail's hand back between her legs. "Bitter. Sweet." She licked Gail's mouth. "Salty."

Gail's finger burrowed past the surrounding lips. Lightly she touched, circling and taunting the swell of Tannen's slippery clitoris.

"Ah," Tannen cried. Her body arched. Tannen opened her mouth, kissing deeply as she moved against Gail's hand.

"I love kissing you," Gail murmured. "I feel your kiss all over me. All through me." Fingernails dug into her back; a sweet sting of pain shot throughout her, forcing a gasp. Tannen pushed Gail to her back.

"Spread your legs for me," Tannen said.

Gail whimpered at the command. Warm fingers parted her lips. Tannen slowly licked a path, bottom to top, side to side, until Gail felt her lips drawn into Tannen's mouth. She writhed beneath the invading tongue and lips. Pulled, released, and pulled again, she twisted, moaned, and felt this was the first time a woman touched her. Tannen's motions were expert, Gail's pleasure was immense, and the luxury of having both felt new.

"Sweetheart," Gail said.

Tannen pushed Gail's thighs farther apart. She felt the thrust of Tannen's tongue penetrate her.

"Oh," Gail gasped, lifting her hips to feel Tannen's tongue deeper.

"I love you, Gail," Tannen murmured when she looked up. "I love having your body. Do you feel good?" She ran her tongue against Gail.

"Oh God, yes!"

"Tell me what you want," Tannen said. "How can I love you?"

Gail leaned up and rested on one elbow. She reached down and parted her lips. "Make me come against your breast." Tannen raised her chest and guided her nipple against Gail's clitoris. "Oh, yeah. You're so hard against me."

Gail felt two fingers entering her, filling her. As she moved against Tannen, she watched the fullness of Tannen's breast puff with each thrust. She fell back as Tannen brought her into shattering orgasm.

"My God, I've never come that hard." Gail stared at the ceiling, her chest heaved, forcing air into her lungs. Their mouths met quickly and hard, then gently as Gail relaxed. Perspiration cooled her forehead. Tannen licked playfully at Gail's mouth.

Gail palmed Tannen's breast. She kissed the wet nipple. Tannen pulled Gail tightly against her breast.

"Make love to me, Gail. Let me feel what you felt," Tannen said. "Now."

Gail kissed her way down. She pushed Tannen's leg high, opening her. "Beautiful," she whispered. She teased Tannen with a slight touch. Tannen groaned and recoiled.

Gail placed her mouth against Tannen's lips. She welcomed the tickle of hair and the scent of Tannen. She ran her tongue the length of smooth lips, tasting all she could. Bitter, sweet, salty, they were all there; a delicious blend to Gail's mouth. Gail rested her tongue against Tannen's swollen clitoris. She pushed her thumb deeply inside Tannen. Groans filled her ears. Gail stopped. Tannen's hips continued to move without Gail's motion.

"More. Take more," Tannen said. Gail placed her finger against Tannen's anus. "Yes. Give me that." Tannen pushed against Gail's finger. Gail eased just inside, enough to stimulate Tannen even more. "Oh, God," Tannen breathed and moved steadily as Gail's tongue moved slowly and skillfully. "Deeper," Tannen growled. "Ohh, Gail. Gail." Her body moved erratically against the threefold invasion. Gail watched, mesmerized by Tannen's grinding reaction, until Tannen grabbed her with both hands. "Harder. Everywhere." Gail forced her fingers deeper and Tannen cried out, clawing at Gail's shoulders. She felt an immediate swelling to Tannen's clit. Her hand was flooded with incredible warmth from inside while Tannen's body shuddered against Gail's mouth.

Gail and Tannen lay quietly together. They were playful as they kissed and cuddled. Gail had wanted Tannen from the day they had met. She hadn't wanted love but was now fully enthralled with the prospect of a lasting relationship with Tannen. Not to mention, Gail liked Tannen's natural bed head.

"I love tonight. I really do." Gail took a deep breath. She pushed Tannen's hair away. "You look mah-velous."

With her eyes closed and a smile on her lips, Tannen quietly said, "That was bloody marvelous. Oh yeah. I'm keeping you."

Gail kissed Tannen's forehead and rested her lips at the bridge of Tannen's nose. She held Tannen closer. Their breasts blended.

"You're bringing out the better woman in me, actor lady." Gail moved to her back and turned her head toward Tannen. Tannen traced continual lines from Gail's belly button to her neck and over her shoulders.

"I have a secret," Tannen said.

"Tell me."

"The day we met, I was incredibly happy that you asked me to spend more time with you. I didn't have the courage to ask for it."

Gail laughed. "Really? You were chickenshit? That's amazing." Gail tickled Tannen's ribs. "It's so unlike you, Tannen."

"I'd prefer to call it a lack of impudence."

"Of course you would."

"What's wrong with that?" Tannen asked, warding off yet another poke to her ribs.

"Nothing." Gail gently touched Tannen's breast and then faced her again. Tannen draped her leg over Gail's thighs. She wiggled closer to Gail. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Tannen brushed her fingers over Gail's cheek. "I can't imagine what would have happened if we hadn't taken that afternoon for ourselves."

"I would have called you in a few days and told you that I didn't want to film Tenfold. I suspect that would have been the end of it."

"You're probably spot on." Tannen ran her fingers through Gail's hair. "Are you really sure you want me, darling?"

"More than I've ever wanted anyone." Gail pulled Tannen on top of her. "Please kiss me. Make me crazy with your mouth. Let's finish casino night."

Tannen pinned Gail's arms over her head. When Tannen's tongue entered Gail's mouth, their joy sounded as one.

Дата добавления: 2015-08-27