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The formal marriage proposal begins with a delegation from the groom’s parents visiting the house of the bride. The delegation typically consists of five to ten of the family’s most respected relatives. Wedding are arrangements made during the wedding ceremony. It is obligatory to pay the kalym (in the past, cattle; nowadays, cash), which the bride’s parents then use to purchase a gift for the newlyweds, such as furniture, home electronics, etc.
The wedding consists of two parts: the bride’s farewell and the official wedding.
The religious part of the Kazakh wedding ceremony is called Neke Qiyu. The wedding process may take up to many weeks and even months to complete. This is because a Kazakh marriage, like marriages in most Muslim societies, involves a contract between families which requires negotiation.
The Neke Qiyu usually takes place on the evening of the day the bride is revealed to her groom's family. This festive ceremony is called betashar (Kazakh: Беташар) or "revealing of the face." After she shows respect to her groom's family, the veil is lifted and the bride receives a kiss from her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law then puts a white scarf on her head to symbolize her marital status and then welcomes her into the groom's family.
After several hours of feasting, a mullah arrives. He performs the Neke Qiyu. Even though the betashar is performed outside in the garden in the presence of many relatives and friends, the Neke Qiyu is performed inside with close relatives only. The mullah and the couple sit facing one another. He briefly recites some verses from the Quran and asks the couple to confess the faith of Islam. When this ceremony is done, the couple must go and register their marriage at the state registry office.
After the wedding (usually the next day), the groom’s family hosts a Kelin tea ceremony, in which the new wife serves everyone tea, for which the guests offer her money.
While there are over a hundred ethnicities living in Kazakhstan, this post will only describe the wedding traditions of the Kazakhs themselves. The most important wedding traditions are: the formal marriage proposal (kuda tusu), the bridal payment (kalym), the bride’s farewell (kyz uzatu), revealing the face of the bride (betashar), the wedding and post-wedding ceremonies.
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