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Notes: 1) All chief officers are equal in law. Equivalence between other ranks is variable.
2) Numbers of officers in each rank vary; 75% - 80% of all UK officers are
constables.
3) The ranks of Deputy Chief Constable and Chief Superintendent, were abolished
with effect from 1.4.95.
HAVE A REST
NOT SO STUPID
A man engaged in a lawsuit suggested to his lawyer that it might be a good idea to send a present to the judge who was going to try the case. His lawyer warned him that the judge was quite honest, and that if he did any such thing he would only prejudice the judge against him.
During the trial the lawyer noticed that the judge seemed to favour his client in whose favour judgement was in the end given. The man afterwards told his lawyer that he had sent a rich present to the judge.
«But you can’t have done so», said the lawyer.
«Oh yes I did», replied the man, «but remembering your advice, I sent it in my opponent’s name».
DISTRUST IN LAWYERS
«Have you got a lawyer?» asked the judge of a young man brought before him.
«No, your honour», was the answer.
«Well, don’t you think you had better have one?» asked the judge.
«No, your honour», answered the young man. «I don’t need one. I am going to tell the truth».
A WISE JUDGE
Two brothers once lived together. They worked on their father’s farm. They were very honest and got along together very well. One day their father died leaving his property to his two sons. In his last will he told them to divide the property between them.
But the brothers could not agree now. Each wanted to have the better part for himself. After some time they did not even speak to each other. At last they went to a judge who was very wise.
The judge listened to them carefully and then he said.
«The matter is very simple. We shall divide the property in this way. One of you will divide it in the way he thinks is best and the other one will then have the right to choose whichever of the two parts he prefers».
In this way the case was settled.
* 
In the first case of its kind, two men have been jailed for distributing child pornography on the Internet. A 26-year- old computer expert, Alban Fellows, ran a pom library and was supplied with some of his material by co-defendant Stephen Arnold. Both were charged. Fellows was jailed for three years and Arnold for six months.
* A Force campaign against knife violence in Glasgow has started this year. All City centre shops which stock special knives have agreed to adopt a voluntary code of practice requiring knife-buyers to show proof of identity, and to ban knife sales to under-16s without a responsible adult. The purpose of the campaign is to prevent the wrong type of people getting hold of the knives.
* Russian-speaking criminals have invested heavily in the British property market and forged Sinks with some crimi-nals here. Billions of dollars are believed to have been laun-dered around the world by the criminals, especially from Russia.
Unit 8
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