What's strange is that Rowan has never looked like anybody else in the family. She was a strawberry blonde little girl, where I'm quite dark - I was once asked at nursery school whether she was mine! But she is our little cuckoo - a joy and a pleasure, so full of energy and ambition. I was never so determined. I don't think I figured out what I wanted to do with my life until I was 35.
Rowan's very different to her older brother: Joshua's very self-confident, more internalised; he's dyslexic but has really blossomed at secondary school. Whereas Rowan doesn't think of herself as academic. I've always loved reading, since I was a girl, and I know that she doesn't take pleasure in books the way I do. I've bought her a copy of Black Beauty. I've tried audiobooks, everything. She does like me reading to her at night. But I know that beyond that I have to accept that it's a difference between us.
I grew up with three close brothers and I suppose it was one of my dreams that Josh and Rowan would have a similar close relationship. But they do argue a lot at the moment, so I may have to keep hoping.
I don't know where the riding thing came from. I do find it very hard to watch - I get so worried about her. But I am very proud of her skill and her dedication to it. It's true that I help her with the maths. I wasn't good at it myself so I know how intimidating the subject can seem. Rowan can get herself into quite a panic over homework. I think she just has to get herself into less of a state and she'll realise she can do it.
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