Obstructing the intimacy cycle

There are two ways a woman may unknowingly obstruct her male partner's natural intimacy cycle. They are: (1) chasing him when hepulls away; and (2) punishing him for pulling away.

The following is a list of the most common ways a woman "chases a man" and prevents him from pulling away:

CHASING BEHAVIORS

Physical

When he pulls away, she physically follows him. He may walk into another room and she follows. Or as in the example of Lisa and Jim, she does not do the things she wants to do so that she can be with her partner.

Emotional

When he pulls away, she emotionally follows him. She worries about him. She wants to help him feel better. She feels sorry for him. She smothers him with attention and praise. Another way she may emotionally stop him from pulling away is to disapprove of his need to be alone. Through disapproving she is also emotionally pulling him back. Another approach is to look longingly or hurt when he pulls away. In this way she pleads for his intimacy and he feels controlled.

Mental

She may try to pull him back mentally by asking him inducing questions such as "How could you treat me this way?" or "What's wrong with you?" or "Don't you realize how much it hurts me when you pull away?". Another way she may try to pull him back is to try to please him. She becomes overly accommodating. She tries to be perfect so he would never have any reason to pull away. She gives up her sense of self and tries to become what she thinks he wants. She is afraid to rock the boat for fear that he might pull away, and so she withholds her true feelings and avoids doing anything that may upset him.

The second major way a woman may unknowingly interrupt a man's intimacy cycle is to punish him for pulling away. The following is a list of the most common ways a woman "punishes a man" and prevents him from coming back and opening up to her:

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19