V I E W P O I N T

The "feedback theory of relationships" holds that in satisfying friendships or romantic relationships, feedback tends to be positive, person focused, immediate, low monitoring, and supportive – whereas in unsatisfying relationships, feedback is often negative, self-focused, nonimmediate, high monitoring, and critical. How effective do you find this theory? That is, how well does the theory explain relationships with which you're familiar?

BUILDING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Giving Feedback

For any one or two of the following situations, (a) indicate the kind of feedback that you would consider appropriate (positive or negative? person focused or message focused? immediate or delayed? low monitoring or high monitoring? supportive or critical?), and (b) write one or two sentences in which you express feedback that has the qualities you identified in (a).

1. A neighbor – whom you like but don't have romantic feelings for – asks you for a date.

2. A colleague persists in talking explicitly about sex despite your frequent objections.

3. A homeless person smiles at you on the street and asks for some change that phone number?" "Your argument is a good one".

BUILDING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Giving Feedforward

In each of the following situations, you may want to preface your main message with feedforward. For any one or two of the following situations, (a) identify the specific purpose you hope to achieve with your feedforward, and (b) write a brief feedforward message that helps you achieve the purpose you identified in (a).

1. You see an attractive person in one of your classes and would like to get to know the person a bit more, with the possible objective of a date.

2. You just saw the posted grades for the midterm; your close friend failed, but you did extremely well. In the cafeteria you meet your friend, who asks, "How'd I do on the midterm?"

3. You have a reputation for proposing outlandish ideas in the midst of otherwise formal and boring discussions. This time, however, you want to offer a proposal that you fear will seem to be one of your standard outlandish notions but is actually an idea that you think could work. You want to assure your group that this idea is worthy of their serious attention.

Table 1.1

Interpersonal Communication Tips

Between Blind and Sighted People People vary greatly in their visual abilities; some people are totally blind, some are partially sighted, and some have unimpaired vision. Ninety percent of individuals who are "legally blind" have some vision. All of us, however, have the same need for communication and information. Here are some tips for making communication between blind and sighted people more effective.

If you're the sighted person and are talking with a blind person: 1. Identify yourself. Don't assume the blind person will recognize your voice. 2. Face your listener; you'll be easier to hear. At the same time, don't shout. People who are visually impaired are not hearing impaired. Speak at your normal volume. 3. Because your gestures, eye movements, and facial expressions cannot be seen by the visually impaired listener, encode into speech all the meanings – both verbal and nonverbal – that you wish to communicate. 4. Use audible turn-taking cues. When you pass the role of speaker to a person who is visually impaired, don't rely on nonverbal cues; instead, say something like "Do you agree with that, Joe?" 5. Use normal vocabulary, and discuss the same kinds of topics you would discuss with sighted people. Don't avoid terms like "see" or "look" or even "blind." Don't avoid discussing a television show, or a painting, or the way your new car looks; these are normal conversational topics for all people. If you are a visually impaired person and are interacting with a sighted person: 1. Help the sighted person meet your special communication needs. If you want your surroundings described, ask. If you want the person to read the road signs, ask. 2. Be patient with the sighted person. Many people are nervous talking with people who are visually impaired for fear of offending. Put them at ease in a way that also makes you more comfortable.

These suggestions were drawn from http://www.cincyblind. org/what_do_you do_.htm and http://www.rnib.org/uk/ (both accessed October 23, 2004).  

Table 1.2

Four Types of Noise  

One of the most important skills in communication is an ability to recognize the types of noise and to develop ways to combat them. Consider, for example, what kinds of noise occur in the classroom. What kinds of noise occur in your family communications? What kinds occur at work? What can you do to combat these kinds of noise?  

Types of Noise	Definition	Example
Physical	Interference that is external to both speaker and listener; interferes with the physical transmission of the signal or message	Screeching of passing cars, hum of computer, sunglasses
Physiological	Physical barriers within the speaker or listener	Visual impairments, hearing loss, articulation problems, memory loss
Psychological	Cognitive or mental interference	Biases and prejudices in senders and receivers, closed-mindedness, inaccurate expectations, extreme emotionalism (anger, hate, love, grief)
Semantic	Assignment of different meanings by speaker and listener	People speaking different languages, use of jargon or overly complex terms not understood by listener, dialectical differences in meaning

Figure 1.2

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