Читайте также:
|
(1) The FBI reported today that the number of violent crimes in the United States rose 8.3 percent during the last year.
LOCALIZED: The number of violent crimes committed in the city last year rose 5.4 percent, compared to a national average of 8.3 percent, the FBI reported today.
(2) Two men robbed the First National Bank, 1841 Main St., of about $20,000 yesterday and shot a police officer in the chest.
UPDATED: A police officer shot during a bank robbery is reported in critical condition today at Memorial Hospital.
Be Objective and Attribute Opinions
An afternoon fishing trip turned into tragedy Wednesday when a 41-year-old mechanic drowned in Clear Lake.
REVISED: A 41-year-old mechanic drowned Wednesday after he apparently suffered a heart attack while fishing in Clear Lake and fell out of a small boat.
Emphasize the News
A country and western bar on Benson Avenue was the scene of a fight last night that left one man critically injured.
REVISED: A 41-year-old man is in critical condition after being stabbed by his brother-in-law outside a country and western bar on Benson Avenue.
Avoid “Label” Leads
LABEL LEAD: The Department of Health and Human Services issued a report on alcoholism today.
REVISED: Alcohol is the major drug problem in the United States, and one out of 10 working Americans suffers from alcoholism or a lesser drinking problem, the Department of Health and Human Services reported today.
Avoid Unfamiliar Terms
Health care for the poor is substandard in this county, according to medical health care experts who met at an AMA conference here. They hope that Vertical Integration Systems will help reverse that trend.
REVISED: To improve medical care in the county, experts want to establish eight clinics in poor neighborhoods and to refer only the most serious cases to specialists at County Hospital.
Avoid Lists
Their family home, a new Cadillac, $2,500 a month, and a 50 percent interest in their family business were awarded to Claire Marcial, who sued her husband for divorce.
REVISED: As part of the divorce settlement, a judge awarded Claire Marcial their family home, a new Cadillac, $2,500 a month and a 50 percent interest in their family business.
Avoid Stating the Obvious
The college's Placement Center has a wide variety of information and facts to help prepare students for their future careers.
REVISED: On Monday, the college's Placement Center will install computers in every building to inform students about new jobs and job interviews.
Дата добавления: 2015-11-14; просмотров: 42 | Нарушение авторских прав
| <== предыдущая страница | | | следующая страница ==> |
| Sentence Structure in Leads | | | F) Updating Your Lead. |