TED, TED, T. E. D. TED. NOT

TEDDY, NOT THEODORE... TED... Yes,

my mother did me the service of naming

me Theodore and I haven't a clue as

to how you know that because everyone

who knows that lives a long way away

from here. Do you have any idea what

it's like to go to school where all

the other kids' parents are in jail

doing time for crimes like grand

larceny, aggravated assault, burglary

and murder, and you get stuck with a

mother who names you Theodore and

dressed you up in little matching

pink outfits with, get this, a little

blue bow fucking tie! Well, I'll

tell you what happens. Pretty soon

Theodore becomes "Theo the Thumper,"

and when Theo the Thumper gets old

enough, he packs his bags and goes

thousands of miles away where he can

put the whole bloody mess behind

him. So, if you don't mind, shoot me

now, because no one is going to call

me that again. My name is Ted, okay?

Got it? TED!

Sigfried has followed the entire tirade in stunned silence.

He takes a step toward Ted and offers him his hand.

SIGFRIED

Sigfried.

TED

What?

SIGFRIED

My name is Sigfried.

TED

Sigfried?

Sigfried cuts a "Something wrong with that?" look at Ted.

SIGFRIED

Yah, Sigfried.

TED

Nice to meet you, Sigfried.

Ted cautiously takes Sigfried's hand.

SIGFRIED

Very impressive, Ted. "Theo the

Thumper?"... Ouch. It's a deal, kid.

Ted it will be.

TED

Thanks.

Sigfried holds onto Ted's hand. The soft sound of distant

fireworks pops in the background. Car horns and a muffled

countdown signal that it's New Year's.

Sigfried moves uncomfortably close to Ted and from out of

nowhere bolts forward, planting a wet kiss right on Ted's

mouth. Something snaps in Sigfried. He is either really

getting off on this or he is caught in the grips of a seizure.

He doubles back on the floors. Ted and Angela watch as he

flops around like a flounder with the cocked gun waving all

over the place. Ted wipes his mouth with his jacket sleeve

while trying to dodge the barrel of the gun.

TED

You okay, mister? I'll get help!

Sigfried manages to steady the gun and point it directly at

Ted. He signals for Ted to go to the bathroom.

TED

(continuing)

That's the wrong door, sir.

Sigfried grabs Ted by the leg and shove the barrel of the

gun into his crotch.

Sigfried pulls Ted's face closer to his.

SIGFRIED

Get me the nitro... it's in the

bathroom cabinet. Now!

Ted rushes into the bathroom, leaving Sigfried a babbling

mess behind.

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Дата добавления: 2015-11-14