A Date with Sally

STLR. Finally, old Sally started coming up the stairs. She looked terrific. She really did. The funny part is, I felt like marrying her the minute I saw her. I’m crazy. I didn’t even like her much, and yet all of a sudden I felt like I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. I swear to God I’m crazy. I admit it.

SALLY. Holden! It’s marvelous to see you! It’s been ages.

STORYTELLER. She had one of these very loud, embarrassing voices when you met her somewhere.

HOLDEN. Swell to see you. How are ya, anyway?

SALLY. Absolutely marvelous. Am I late?

HOLDEN. No

ST. She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn’t give a damn, though. If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody.We horsed around a little bit in the cab. Then, I told her I loved her&all. It was a lie, of course,but the thing is, I meant it when I said it. I’m crazy. I swear to God I am.

SALLY. Oh, darling, I love you too. Promise me you’ll let your hair grow. Your hair’s so lovely.

STORYTELLER. Lovely my ass.

HOLDEN. Hey, Sally.

SALLY. What?

HOLDEN. Did you ever get fed up? I mean do you like school, and all that stuff?

SALLY. It’s a terrific bore.

HOLDEN. I mean do you hate it?

SALLY. Well, I don’t exactly hate it. You always have to—

HOLDN. Well, I hate it. Boy, do I hate it. I hate living in New York &all. Taxicabs, &buses, with the drivers &all always yelling at you, &going up &down in elevators when you just want to go outside,&people always—

SALLY. Don’t shout, please.

STORYTELLER. Which was very funny, because I wasn’t even shouting.

HN. Take cars. Take most people, they’re crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them. I’d rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human. A horse you can at least—

SALLY. I don’t know what you’re even talking about. You jump from one—

HLDN. You know something? You’re probably the only reason I’m in New York right now. If you weren’t around, I’d probably be someplace way the hell off. You’re the only reason I’m around, practically.

SALLY. You’re sweet.

STORYTELLER. But you could tell she wanted me to change the damn subject.

HLDEN. You ought to go to a boys’ school sometime. Try it sometime. It’s full of phonies, &all you do is study to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, & talk about girls &liquor &sex all day—

SALLY. Now, listen. Lots of boys get more out of school than that.

HOLDEN. I agree! I agree they do, some of them! But that’s all I get out of it. See? That’s my point. That’s exactly my goddam point. I don’t get hardly anything out of anything. I’m in bad shape. I’m in lousy shape.

SALLY. You certainly are.

STORYTELLER. Then, all of a sudden, I got this idea.

H-N. Look. How would you like to get the hell out of here? I know this guy that we can borrow his car for a couple of weeks. We could drive up to Massachusetts &Vermont, see. It’s beautiful as hell up there. It really is.

ST-R. I was getting excited as hell &I reached over &took old Sally’s goddam hand. What a goddam fool I was.

H-N. No kidding. We’ll stay in these cabin camps &stuff like that. Then I could get a job somewhere &we could live somewhere with a brook &,later on,we could get married or something.I could chop all our own wood. Ho-nest to God,we could have a terrific time!Wuddaya say?C’mon! Wuddaya say? Will you do it with me? Please!

SALLY. You can’t just do something like that.

HOLDEN. Why not? Why the hell not?

SALLY. Stop screaming at me, please.

STORYTELLER. Which was crap, because I wasn’t even screaming at her.

HOLDEN. Why can’tcha? Why not?

SALLY. Because you can’t, that’s all. In the first place, we’re both practically children. &did you ever stop to think what you’d do if you didn’t get a job? We’d starve to death. The whole thing’s so fantastic, it isn’t even—

HOLDEN. It isn’t fantastic. I’d get a job. Don’t worry about that. You don’t have to worry about that. What’s the matter? Don’t you want to go with me? Say so, if you don’t.

SALLY. It isn’t that. It isn’t that at all.

STORYTELLER. I was beginning to hate her, in a way.

SALLY. We’ll have oodles of time to do those things— all those things. I mean after you go to college and all, and if we should get married &all. There’ll be oodles of marvelous places to go to. You’re just—

HOLDEN. No, there won’t be. There won’t be oodles of places to go to at all. It’ll be entirely different.

STORYTELLER. I was getting depressed as hell again.

SALLY. What? I can’t hear you. One minute you scream at me, and the next you—

HOLDEN. No! there won’t be marvelous places &all. Open your ears. I’d be working in some office, riding to work in cabs &Madison Avenue buses, &playing bridge all the time. You don’t see what I mean at all.

SALLY. Maybe I don’t! Maybe you don’t, either.

STORYTELLER. We both hated each other’s guts by that time. I was sorry as hell I’d started it.

HOLDEN. C’mon, let’s get outa here. You give me a royal pain in the ass, if you want to know the truth.

STRTLR. Boy, did she hit the ceiling when I said that. Usually I never say crude things like that to girls. Boy, did she hit the ceiling. I apologized like a madman, but she wouldn’t accept my apology. She was even crying.

HOLDEN. No kidding. I’m sorry.

SALLY. You’re sorry. You’re sorry. That’s very funny.

STORYTELLER. And all of a sudden I did feel sort of sorry I’d said it.

HOLDEN. C’mon, I’ll take ya home. No kidding.

SALLY. I can go home by myself, thank you. No boy ever said that to me in my entire life.

STLR. The whole thing was sort of funny, &all of a sudden I did something I shouldn’t have. I laughed. &I have one of these very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I’d probably lean over&tell myself to please shut up.It made old Sally madder than ever. I stuck around for a while, trying to get her to excuse me, but she wouldn’t. If you want to know the truth, I probably wouldn’t’ve taken her even if she’d wanted to go. She wouldn’t have been anybody to go with. The terrible part, though, is that I meant it when I asked her. That’s the terrible part. I swear to God I’m a madman.

Дата добавления: 2015-11-14