"Ok, follow me." she guided us to a room behind the counter. It was a small kitchen with a square wooden table and two chairs in the middle. At the back, there was another door that presumably led to a bathroom. The walls were a pale orange-brown color. It felt warm, just like Sarah. Frankie took the seat she offered him and I stayed on my feet behind. Not waiting for an invitation to talk, he launched into his speech.
"I...I kn-know why you g-got mad at G-gerard and you sh-shouldn't. Wh-when we met y-you, he had to l-lie 'cause...'cause he c-couldn't tell anyone th-that he found me in the s-street. N-no. If...if the p-police knew they were g-gonna take me a-away. Th-that was no g-good, no good! G-gee's very n-nice and I wanted to s-stay with him. S-so he lied but...we w-weren't boyfriends f-first. I w-wanted but he said we c-couldn't and we d-didn't do any b-boyfriend things, p-promise! Th-then I began to take m-my meds and...we f-fell in love and...he s-said now we c-could be boyf-friends but not tell an-anyone 'cause..." a sob escaped him and he grabbed his head annoyed. Sarah abided by Frank's requirements and listened thoughtfully with waterlogged eyes.
"It's ok, don't try to speak faster, take your time." I rubbed his back comfortingly. "Are you ok?"
"Y-yes, what...wh-what I was s-saying?" he asked himself. "Ah! Th-that we couldn't tell ev-everybody that we were b-boyfriends 'cause I'm special and...p-people think it's wr-wrong if normal p-people have a s-special boyfriend. S-so so stupid! B-but it's like th-that and when p-people know they get an-angry at Gerard...l-like you. H-he..he's good and n-nice and loves me! An-and I love him and I kn-know how...uh...how's when th-things are wrong. Kn-know it's wrong if s-someone makes you do b-boyfriend things and you don't w-want to. G-gerard's not like th-that! H-he's not! I l-like everything we d-do and he always as-asks me if I'm f-fine and takes c-care of me and would n-never hurt me. Wh-why no one b-believes it, uh? G-gee got mad at th-that boy Brad 'cause he w-was an ass- uh..." he gave me a apologetic smile. "...he w-was very mean and G-gerard's tired of m-mean people, it h-hurts him and m-makes him sad. W-we're in love, S-sarah...please d-don't be angry at G-gerard. It...it's n-not his fault that I'm s-special and he l-loves me the same and my d-dad knows and he's h-happy! S-swear! W-want me to ask m-my dad to c-come? He'll t-tell you I d-didn't lie!"
"It's not necessary, sweetheart." Sarah finally replied in a shaky whisper.
"B-but please let G-gee come back? H-he's so sad and n-nervous and he n-needs to work so he c-can pay for my pills! Th-the pills m-make me better and if I d-don't take them I'm...I'm all m-messed up. Y-yeah. D-don't like it, p-please!"
"Oh, Frankie...you're really special, you know?" Sarah brushed Frank's hair with her fingers. "I don't say it because you're ill. You're special because you're sweet and kind, you care so much for the ones you love...there aren't many people like you in this world. That's a pity, the world would be a better place if there were many many Frankies."
"I've been thinking the same since I met him." I was crying for the second time that day. Frankie, on the other hand, was wiping away his tears and giggling at Sarah's comment.
"Tell Gerard to come work tomorrow, you just spared me so much thinking, I..."
"R-really?" Frank jumped off the chair and ran to hug Sarah as soon as she nodded. "Th-thank you thank you thank y-you thank you!"
"Honestly, I don't think I could have fired him. There's only goodness in his eyes, and the way he talked about you...he really really loves you, Frankie. You're his life." she sat him on her lap, giving him some noisy old-aunt kisses.
"I kn-know, and he's m-mine! I'm v-very very happy with h-him. N-never was so h-happy. S-sometimes bad or sad th-things happen b-but...it's not t-too bad 'cause we're t-together and we can h-hug reeeally tight and we f-feel better. It's...l-like magic!"
" You are magic." Sarah asserted and I, incapable of talking, assented with my head.
When the three of us quit crying, she prepared hot chocolate and went for a third chair for me to sit down. Something had been on my mind for a while, but I couldn't let it out in front of Frankie; so once Sarah and I were done and Frank was still munching at the homemade cookies, I took the chance. I managed to communicate with her by signs that I needed to talk to her in private. I was hoping that she'd come up with a good excuse for Frankie. I couldn't think of anything.
"Frankie...I'm gonna show Ray something Gerard had told me he needed. You stay here and finish the cookies, all yours!"
"Oh...k-kay. B-be back s-soon!"
"We will, don't touch anything!" I instructed him.
We went outside and closed the door, staying next to it just in case. I didn't trust Frank alone too much, not with a stove in the same room.
"See, Sarah...I can't explain everything well now, I'll tell Gerard to do it. To resume: Frank's mother is nothing good. She was the one who left him in the street and among other things she faked Frankie's death to steal the money his grandma left him. Gerard's had a lot of trouble related to her and her boyfriend...husband, whatever. He's even been menaced. Now the police are in the know and looking for them..."
"Oh my God!" she covered her mouth with a hand. "That's terrible! How could she not love that kid? It's...impossible to understand."
"I know..."
"But why are you telling me this now?" she questioned.
"Well, the police need all the information we can get to find them, and Gerard believes who called here could have been one of them or someone who works for them."
"Oh..."
"Do you know if it was a man or a woman?" I asked.
"No...I should ask Brad. If you give me a minute I'll call him. I'll tell him to cooperate if he wants his job back!"
"Thanks! Also ask him if he heard any noises in the background." I waited while she made the phone call, glad to hear that the guy was home. In case Gerard's suspicions were true, we needed to confirm it soon for the police to try and find the place from where the call was made before they moved again.
"Done!" Sarah came back. "Ok, he said it was a woman. She sounded young and was speaking low and quickly. At first, all he could hear in the background was a TV. Then when she was about to say more, the voice of a man was heard. He apparently asked the woman what she was doing and screamed something about not using the phone. He called her stupid and they hung up. Really...if Brad had told me this from the beginning, I would have found it too weird to be trusted. Does it help, Ray?"
CHAPTER 72, part 1
When there's love inside
(I swear I'll always be strong)
then there's a reason why.
(I'll prove to you we belong)
I'll be the one that protects you
from the wind and the rain,
from the hurt and pain.
Still Ray's POV
"Actually, it sounds like it might be of great help!" I told Sarah, experiencing a mix of feelings. This information could bring Linda and her partner one step closer to prison. On the other hand, if she'd been the one to call, it repulsed me. Not satisfied with everything she had done to Frankie, she was determined to also ruin the life of the one person that had given her son what she denied him: a family, care, love. "Sarah, would you be willing to help the police?"
"I...yes, I suppose there will be no problem..." I could see that it scared her. It was only expectable given what I'd told her about Gerard being menaced. "What would I have to do?"
"Don't worry, probably just say what you just told me. Then they'll want to track all the phone calls made to this store around that specific time yesterday." I based my explanation on what I saw in movies, which made me laugh in my head; I was starting to think like Frankie.
"Oh, ok then. Do I have to go to the police station?"
"Uh...maybe you don't, let me try something." I took out my cellphone and searched the memory for the police's number. I was about to dial it when I remembered that Frank had been alone in the kitchen for a while. Sarah noticed the worried glance I threw towards the closed door.
"I'll go check on him." she smiled.
After a few failed attempts and being transferred from one officer to another, I was finally paid heed. I didn't get to talk to the chief, but the man they put on the line was at least in the know about the situation. I introduced myself and explicated more or less everything about the mysterious call. From the often pauses I inferred that the man was taking notes. Lastly, the officer asked where they could find the person who had received the call. Sarah had returned minutes ago -signaling that everything was fine with Frank, so I handed her my phone.
"The officer wants to speak to you. I'll be there with Frankie" I gave the nervous old lady what I thought was a calming smile before heading for the kitchen.
I frowned as soon as I stepped inside; the boy wasn't by the table. The only other possible place was the bathroom across the room, so I walked straight towards the closed door. It was when I casually moved my abundant hair back and my field of vision augmented that I discovered Frankie was in the kitchen, although not sat on a chair. Instead, he stood on one which he'd placed below a small cupboard, completely still and with his eyes shut tight as if that could make him invisible. He didn't even seem to be breathing. At those moments it was hard not to see him as a little kid.
I picked him up with both my arms around his waist and he emitted a short, high pitched scream. After I left him on the floor he ran back to the table and avoided my eyes.
"Frankie...what were you doing there?"
"Uh...l-looking for more c-cookies?" he grinned mischievously, but the smile faded when I stayed serious. It wasn't easy to keep a straight face with Frank, he would always tempt you to just forget and smile back. However some discipline was needed, and I knew Gerard was too soft for that. Of course we all had much more consideration for Frankie than you would for any regular naughty child. We were aware that he was not always fully conscious of his actions, but sometimes it was evident that he perfectly knew what he was doing; his guilty reactions once caught were the proof. I didn't want him to take advantage of his condition to do whatever he pleased and be forgiven, especially not in those cases that involved some kind of peril for him.
"You know you're banned from stepping on chairs, tables, beds or anything you could fall from while alone. Today more than ever, since you admitted to feeling dizzy earlier."
"Y-yeah but...b-but not now, p-promise!" he nodded.
"That's not the point. It could have happened again while you were up there and then what? You just can't step on things, no excuses." I stated firmly.
If my parents had seen me, they would have said I was prepared to be a father. Maybe I was, thanks to Frank. Not that I was thinking of becoming one yet, anyhow. To start with, I was lacking someone to be the mother. I had never been lucky with girls and my averseness to go out didn't help. I was beginning to consider Bob's offer to join him on his weekend night escapades.
"B-but Ray...I w-want more c-cookies!" Frankie whined, bringing me back from my self pity.
"You had enough, don't you think?"
"N-no I didn't!"
"Frankie..." I pointed at the empty ceramic plate over the table. The total absence of crumbs told me he'd taken care of that too.
"Y-yes but...few m-more? P-please tell Sarah?"
"No. And don't start with the 'you're a meanie' speech because you know it's not that." I went on with my fatherly rant. Surprisingly, Frank didn't retort; nor did he complain or insist. He got up with his head hanging low, padded to me and hugged me.
"I...I kn-know. S-sorry, Ray, d-don't be mad." he raised his eyes and I knew it wasn't another one of his persuasion tactics. He felt sincerely regretful and understood I'd been telling him all that for his own good.
"I'm not mad, just be more careful, ok? If you need something you can't reach you tell us."
"K-kay" he whispered.
"Anyway...you know you ate enough cookies, don't you?"
"Gu-guess, but they're y-yummy."
"I have to agree with that!" I laughed. The two I had managed to snatch before Frankie attacked were, in fact, delicious. "Let's see if Sarah's still busy."
Back at the store we found her talking to some customers. I waited until they left and then approached her while Frankie got distracted with some huge sets of pencils.
"Oh, Ray! I heard you two talking so I decided to wait outside. Here's your phone. The officer said they'll call Gerard or Frank's father if they find out something." she informed me.
"Thanks a lot, Sarah, really...for everything."
"Please, let me know how it all goes." she turned to assist a middle-aged lady.
"We will." I assured her. "Frankie, come on. Gerard's gonna be back soon so we gotta go."
"C-can I have th-these?" he had one of the boxes he'd been admiring in his hand, beaming with hope. It contained at least 60 color pencils and when I read the price on the shelf I nearly chocked.
"It's too expensive...I'm sorry, boy."
"Ok...k-kay. M-money sucks." he grunted, restoring the unattainable item to where it belonged. I gave him some time to say goodbye to Sarah and we hastened away.
Just when we were exiting the place, we ran into a family. The perfect happy family image. I intended to go on, but Frank was staring at them petrified. The tall, young man held the door open for his wife, a radiant blond girl with a toddler in her arms. The little kid -long, black fringe and round, brown eyes- was playing with his mother's hair; laughing that weird, kind of mechanical laugh small children have while she cooed sweet words to him and pretended to eat his nose. As we watched them through the glass door, the child spied us from over the woman's shoulder and smiled widely at Frankie, whose lips slowly curved up too. He waved and the younger one responded by raising a diminutive hand and flexing his stubby fingers.
"Ready to go?" I asked Frank.
"Y-yeah..."
"Are you ok?" I inquired. He didn't answer.
Our way back took even longer, although for different reasons. Frankie didn't stop to stare at the shops' windows. He didn't make a single comment or say a word. He wasn't there at all; each foot asking the other for permission to move and eyes locked on the people passing us by. When his point of attention coincided with my side of the sidewalk, I discerned two lonely tears sliding evenly across pale cheeks. He didn't wipe them away, he presumably didn't know they were there.
"Frankie, what...?" I didn't finish the question. My voice directed to him and my concerned look was all he needed to bring his caged emotions to the surface. He began to cry, anguished sobs ripped out of an already hoarse throat. Arms squeezing my waist for dear life.
"M-my mom never l-loved me. N-never, Ray, never. D-didn't want to h-have me and...and then l-liked me even less 'c-cause I was s-special. D-didn't care, didn't k-kiss me or hug m-me or...or n-nothing. Sh-she screamed and h-hit me and then l-left me and d-didn't let my dad h-have me and...d-didn't love me. N-no, never. N-not fair. Y-you know the d-dream I had?"
"Yes..."
"Th-the little k-kid was me. I...I kn-know now, R-ray!"
"Oh, God..." I was starting to figure some things out. "That's why Gerard said you didn't feel well last night and he had to give you something to help you sleep?"
"Y-yes...I r-remembered...I kn-knew when Gee...h-he...some-thing happened and I kn-knew. An-and we t-talked and he ex-plained. N-not fair..." he sniffed. There were still some fuzzy details that I needed to collate with Gerard. Something had triggered Frank's memories, something more had occurred that previous night.
"I know it must hurt a lot, Frankie. But you need to try and forget those bad memories. That woman is not worth you crying for her. She lost more than you because I'm sure you'd have been a great son. You are a great son to Anthony. There's also your mom Donna who loves you a lot and...a boyfriend that's going to be home soon and will be very happy with the good news you have for him!" I did my best to make him feel better, though I didn't exactly know how.
If we talked about reprimanding Frank, I was most probably better than Gerard; but I couldn't even remotely compare to my friend when it came to consoling him. It broke my heart to see Frank suffer. It saddened me and scared me. Those situations annulled my senses and turned thinking into a difficult task for me. I was afraid of saying the wrong words and making it all worse. I just wanted him to stop crying. Soon.
In spite of my discomfort, I must have done something right. Frank's face snapped up and the shade of pain in his eyes was replaced with sparks of expectation.
"Oh...y-yeah, we have t-to go! G-gee's gonna be w-worried if he c-comes home and we're not th-there! An-and I have to tell h-him 'bout his j-job!" From this moment Frank wasn't the sluggish one anymore. He took the lead and hurried me along the few remaining blocks.
Gerard's POV
Going to my mother's had been the right decision. I now felt completely exhausted and my face was swollen from so much crying, but that plum-heavy weight had been lifted off my chest. I hadn't told my mom about my last flirtation with alcohol. Hadn't clarified what it was that evoked Frank's memories. However, when I cried cocooned into her embrace, I cried for everything. My fear, my guilt, my anger against society. I let it all go. My mother allowed my verbose vomit to follow its course, without interrupting me. Only when I had nothing left to say she spoke. And it worked. The success didn't lie in what she said, but in how she said it. I'd heard almost identical words coming from Ray and Anthony and yet it wasn't the same. Advice dug deeper when it was my mother giving it. I would not only listen to it. My brain actually incorporated it. I left my old house feeling hopeful and a lot more positive.
******
I was welcomed by a Frankie-tackle. We didn't reach the floor only because Ray seemed to foresee my boyfriend's maneuvering and stopped my imminent backwards fall. After kissing enough to make up for my hours away from home, Frankie stepped away and began to jump and applaud in his spot. That could mean that he had some kind of request, wanted to tell me some news or show me something he'd made. Whatever the case, he looked happy and excited. I raised my eyebrows curiously and he grinned, glancing at Ray sideways.
"Frankie has something important to tell you. I'd ask you how you're feeling but...I know you'll be alright after listening to your boyfriend, anyway." Toro anticipated.
"What is it?" I almost dropped the 'you're not pregnant, aren't you?' joke, but realised just in time that it wouldn't be funny in the slightest after our last conversations.
"Y-YOU CAN GO B-BACK TO WORK! S-SARAH FOR-GIVED YOU!"
" Forgave. " Ray corrected him.
"Ah, y-yeah...SHE F-FORGAVE YOU, GEE!" he screamed again. I'd been left stunned.
"Wh-what...when?"
"Tomorrow!" Ray simply replied.
"But how...did she call?"
"Nope."
"You called her? Don't tell me you..."
"No, Gerard, I didn't call her!"
"Then how do you know?" I couldn't think of any other option.
"W-we went to s-see her and I t-talked to her!" Frankie filled me in. They had done what? I instantly looked at Ray with deliberate accusativeness. I wasn't mad. I just felt bad that the people around me had to clean after my messes.
"It was Frankie's idea, I just took him." he fended for himself.
"Y-yep! I s-spoke a lot! Ex-explained everything and sh-she understood."
"What did you tell her, Frankie?"
"All th-the truth." he didn't feel the need to develop his answer. He knew that I knew what that meant. I didn't have more to ask. I had gotten my job back thanks to Frankie and that was all that mattered."S-sarah said I'm m-magic!"
"You so are! And you're so much braver than I am! Thank you thank you thank you!" I grabbed him with my arms around his back and covered his face with kisses. "What would I do without you, my lucky leprechaun?"
"B-be bored! B-but don't w-worry 'cause I'll n-never never l-leave you!"
"You better not!"
"Oh, Gerard...sorry to interrupt all the cheesiness," Ray chuckled. He'd always say that on purpose to annoy me, though it had stopped working. "but I have to leave in a while. I wanted to tell you that Sarah also talked to the police about the person who made the call because...I think you were right."
"What?" I flinched. My mother had made me discard that theory...and now this? "Frankie love, you think you can go for the jar of juice and three glasses and bring them here?"
"Y-yes!" he was always willing to help, even if it wasn't anything big. I needed some minutes alone with Ray and that sounded like a good excuse to get Frank out of the room.
"Ok...wait! Look for the tray first in the lower cupboard. The plastic glasses are somewhere there too. Don't step on any chair, everything's within your reach."
"K-kay!"
"Now Ray...quickly!" I urged him to talk. It would take Frank some good minutes to find the glasses, since only the one he used daily was in sight. Nonetheless we didn't have long.
"Okay. Sarah talked to Brad and made him tell her everything about the call. No time for details but I'm 99 percent sure it was Linda. Yes, she was stupid and from what Brad heard the guy with her wasn't happy with it. So I called the police, Sarah told them everything and they're gonna track the calls and let you or Tony know if they find them."
"Oh...okay. Fuck, that damn whore! Why...?"
"Your turn: what happened last night? Frankie told me what he remembered about his past but I know there's more and it has to do with you. Talk, fast." he pressed. Trust Ray to know it all. I didn't have time to think of a lie.
"I was too nervous, couldn't take it. We went for ice cream and I bought alcohol. Frankie saw me right away. He kicked my ass -literally, bitched at me and broke the bottle against the floor. Then the smell of whiskey brought Frank's memories back. Please...don't tell anyone, I'm sure that after last night I won't touch alcohol ever again. What's more, it made me sick while I was cleaning it up."
"Oh my God!" Ray exclaimed. "He kicked your ass?"
"Yeah, hard!"
"We'll talk properly about this in another moment but right now...just let me laugh." Ray laughed indeed, loudly and grabbing his belly while he rolled on the couch. Frankie came back with the tray and just stood there observing him.
"Wh-why's he l-laughing?"
"Dunno, babe, he must have remembered a joke!" I made up.
******
Later after dinner, while I was washing the dishes, I thought of how different everything was from the previous day. Twenty four hours ago I had been drowning in my fears, having the most pessimistic thoughts. Yet, the facts kept demonstrating that no matter how much trouble my life choices got me into, things would always work themselves out somehow. Someone who didn't know our case from the inside would say Frank had complicated my life. Wrong, he had made it interesting. Unscrupulous people and close-minded idiots complicated my life, our life. If anything, Frankie was the one who solved it. He had this exceptional power to make people see, believe, understand what in my words would fall on deaf ears. He was gifted beyond belief.
I was still worried about what could come out of that phone call and the police's intervention. How would those two respond to feeling with their backs against the wall? Although maybe they wouldn't do anything. Retaliating would mean exposing themselves all the more. Yes, Linda had screwed up enough, so there was a possibility that we were safe.
CHAPTER 72, part 2
Frank's commanding voice came from the floor in front of the couch when I went back to the living room. I had left him watching TV, but now he was debating with some of his imaginary friends while Puppy barked at him for attention. Frankie picked him up and hushed him.
"I...I'm t-talking, Puppy! D-don't you see th-that they don't un-understand?" He extended his free arm and pointed towards the corridor, his grave face aiming at the coffee table. "O-OUT! N-NOW, ALL OF Y-YOU! N-no, you can't w-watch! G-go and find g-girlfriends or...or b-boyfriends! N-no, I'll tell you wh-when you can come b-back."
"Frankie?" I'd formed an idea in my mind of what all that could be about, and I was trying not to laugh.
"W-wait..." he didn't look at me, just projected his palm forward as an indication. "O-out, out out...n-now! N-no, now, he's h-here! Jeez! At...at l-last!"
"They left?"
"Yes!" he smirked. "P-puppy...go to the r-room and sleep, too l-late for b-babies!"
"Oh, wow...you have him well trained, babe!" I was amazed at the dog's obedience. Frank was, again, staring at me with that smirk. I decided to play oblivious and ask. "Why did you tell everybody to leave?"
"'C-cause...you p-promised something." he crawled to me and whispered. "W-wanna make l-love and they c-can't watch..."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Y-yeah..." Frankie gently pushed me so I was lying down and he crept up on me giggling. Our mouths -temptingly proximate- didn't fight the so well known attraction; slowly, unhurriedly first. Soon our tongues left all hesitance behind and our hands caught up with the rhythm. It was all calm, waltz-paced.
It was rarely hasty between us. We wouldn't just get horny and take all of our clothes off. We'd let our emotions and feelings guide us and every step would be performed when we felt it was time. Sometimes we would stay with our clothes on -not minding if we made a mess out of them, because it didn't feel right to interrupt the flow of sensations.
This time our slow dance of lips and hands wasn't even heated; only tender, love-reassuring, healing. Our bodies were satisfied with what they were getting and, now side by side, they didn't search for more. With his head laid on the armrest and eyes red and sleepy, Frankie looked at me and sighed.
"Y-you know? Th-think my thingy d-doesn't want to m-make love now."
"Oh, good! Because mine agrees." We were tired and drained. Our bodies had spoken and our minds finally took notice of that.
"C-can we watch a m-movie?" he pleaded.
"Well...if it's not too long, 'cause I have to work tomorrow!" I sensed myself grinning upon saying that, I didn't even mind getting up early. "What do you wanna watch?"
"Uh...l-let's see..." Frank got up lazily and rummaged through our collection of -mostly children- DVDs. He suddenly smiled and showed me one. "L-little Mermaid?
"Good choice! Put it on and come back here, I'm cold without you." I beckoned him.
We were reanimated for a while, reciting the dialogs by heart and singing along to the songs; but tiredness eventually struck back and knocked Frank out. Not wanting dawn to find us on the couch, I carried him to bed. I wasn't going to be late for work after Sarah gave me a second chance.
******
In the morning I was nervous, unsure of how to act in front of Sarah. What to say, how to look at her. Was she thoroughly convinced that there was no perversion behind my relationship with Frankie? Had she truly forgiven me or was she doing this for him? I revealed these thoughts to Ray and he gave me the simplest, yet most effective answer: 'It doesn't matter what she's thinking. You have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, so act according to that'.
Things weren't so bad, anyway. Sarah rushed to me looking genuinely pleased to see me. She apologized for making me feel judged and commented on how moving it had been to hear Frankie advocate for me and what we had. She told me that she'd had a conversation with Brad and he would not bother me anymore. I wasn't that certain about it, but I didn't care.
The woman wouldn't stop saying she was sorry, so I asked her to please forget about it. I wanted things between us to be like they used to. Sarah was a very particular boss and I didn't want that to change. She thought it was a good idea, and I promised to tell her everything about Frank's story soon.
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