The dog appeared to smile. Placing his front paws on Frank's chest, he licked his face and even his glasses, leaving them all cloudy. Frankie was convinced that it was the same Puppy, and the dog had immediately adopted Frankie as his owner. Anyone could think they were two friends that had known each other forever. It was incredible.
"S-stop, I c-can't see, P-Puppy!" Frankie giggled, cleaning the glasses with his t-shirt.
"He loves you too, you can have no doubt about it!" I kissed the dog's head and felt Frank kiss my cheek. Sitting beside him, I placed my hand on his neck and went for his lips, kissing him slowly and deeply, forgetting Ray was still there.
"Uh...I gotta go, boys! See you tomorrow." we listened to his voice as he hurried off and waved at him, unwilling to break the kiss. Puppy spoke for us, barking at Ray with a cute baby voice and waggling his tail.
It was so weird to actually be able to see and hear Puppy. However, it felt unquestionably good to know one problem was solved. I only had one concern: had Ray realised that he'd have two 'kids' to watch now?
CHAPTER 34
With time the child draws in,
this whipping boy done wrong.
Deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own that never from this day
his will they'll take away.
After a couple of days, I had to admit that Sarah was right all along about getting Frankie a real dog. I was even regretting not having done it before. Honestly, I'd barely noticed any difference in the way Frank treated Puppy now. The boy was certain that it was the same dog, so he took care of him the same way he'd done since the day he 'found' him. He'd bring him to the backyard many times a day so he could do his things, play with him, brush his fur and feed him. Now I was actually going to have to buy food regularly, though; I couldn't 'recycle' it over and over because this animal did eat it.
Frankie was extremely happy that his pet had decided not to make himself invisible anymore. For the dog's sake, I bought them some toys and balls to play with, so he wouldn't be confused when his owner threw invisible balls at him -which Frank would still do sometimes.
Things seemed to be working just fine, and Ray assured me that not the human, nor the four-legged kid were giving him much trouble.
Frank's foot was already much better. He still limped a little, but was able to step on it and walk without help.
When my mother knew about what had happened and why, she instantly came up with some suggestions and Ray agreed with her somehow. They told me that maybe I should consider increasing Frank's medication; since even knowing his hallucinations were not true, he still saw them and interacted with them. They said it could be dangerous because next time his imaginary friends might provoke him to do something worse than kicking a wall.
I understood their point of view, it was a valid concern, but I didn't want Frankie turned into a zombie. Therefore, I told them I'd leave things as they were for the time being; that having a full-time dog would distract him from his other friends. I didn't mention in front of my mom that I hadn't seen any change so far. Ray, of course, knew that. He'd seen Frankie playing with Puppy and the gnomes all at the same time. However, he had it clear that I would not yield that easily, so he didn't insist on his idea.
Those last days Frank had made a little progress in his reading comprehension. Even if for short periods of time, he'd mostly been more willing to cooperate and make the effort. I was trying to stimulate him as much as I could. I'd sit with him to draw together, I'd patiently listen to him read and then ask him questions or I'd dictate sentences to encourage him to write. He had a rather bad orthography, but he'd accomplish a decent block-letter writing when his hands weren't shaking much. I'd also give him some simple calculations to resolve, even if he hated them and found it a hard task.
Goldberg had said that it was good to make him exercise his brain as long as it was moderately. It was important not to tire or stress him too much.
I greatly enjoyed sharing those moments with him, knowing I could help the person I loved in so many levels. The feeling of being so important for someone was overwhelming.
Things were better in other aspects, also. The night before, something similar to our first sexual approximation on the couch had occurred. We were in bed and supposed to sleep; but some kissing led to caressing. Then it became playful and we were rolling and laughing, and the created friction had been finally too tempting.
It was good to see how those kind of things had become something natural, a lot more relaxed and free of guilt on my part too. Frankie completely trusted me now, and no longer was it a problem for him to get more intimate while being on the bed. He knew we'd go only as far as he wanted to. We'd never even done anything with our clothes off.
*********
I was close to home after work when my cellphone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I had an idea of who it could be. With my voice a little shaky with nerves, I answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is it Gerard Way?" a female voice asked.
"Yes, I'm Gerard. Who's this?"
"I'm Grace Neil, please to meet you. I've been told you wanted to talk to me about Frankie? Frank Iero?" her tone was kind, but urgent. She was evidently very interested.
"Uh yeah, you've been told right."
"John said you help at the institution where he's now?" she questioned. I looked around, annoyed and deafened by the street noise.
"Sorry, Mrs.Neil? I'm in the middle of the street right now, and I'd like to talk about this calmly. I'll arrive home in fifteen minutes, do you have time?"
"Sure, I have three hours off, save there's an emergency. And please, call me Grace."
"Alright then, Grace. I'll call you when I'm there. Thank you for contacting me!"
"Thank you. I've been desperate to know something about Frankie. Talk to you later, then." she hung up. I turned off the phone and sped up, the urgency getting to me too.
Just like the days before, I was welcomed by Frankie jumping onto me and Puppy biting my ankles. I had to be prepared and stand with my feet well placed on the ground to not fall down on my ass.
"Ouch, Puppy! Let me walk!"
"D-dunno why h-he likes to do th-that now!" Frankie laughed still perched on me while I tried to difficultly hold him with my free hand.
"He's copying you!"
"N-no, I don't b-bite ankles!"
"You've sometimes bitten my hand!" I chuckled. My arm had given in, so I left him on the floor.
"N-no I didn't. D-don't remember!"
"It's ok." I kissed him. It was likely that he really didn't remember, he was too messed up back then.
"Ray, could you stay for a while longer? That person called me, and I have to call her back now."
"Sure, I still have time."
"Thanks! You can go to the kitchen with Frankie and have some chocolate with cookies. I'll let you know when you can join me."
"Yeah, no problem. Come on, Frankie! Gerard has to mmake some boring calls, so we'll go to the kitchen and find something more interesting to do. What do you say?"
"K-kay. B-but just f-for a while, I m-missed my b-boyfriend today and want to be w-with him." Frank pouted.
"Just for a while, baby." I kissed the side of his mouth softly.
I flicked through my cellphone's memory for Grace's number, but decided to use my house's phone. I was afraid that the other little fucker would run out of batteries in the middle of an important part of the conversation. The woman answered at the first ring, like she had been waiting by the phone.
"Gerard?"
"Yes...hello again, Grace. First of all I'm gonna answer your question. I lied to John. I didn't know him and the thing's a little...complicated."
"What...what do you mean complicated? Is Frankie ok? John told me he was!"
"Oh yes, don't worry! He's fine. I just lied about knowing him from a mental institution, he's in none. Frankie's been living with me since I found him" I said, and it was so quiet that I thought she had hung up.
"You found him?" she sounded confused, surely ignoring what had been of Frankie after the last time she saw him.
"I did, two days after he was taken out of the place where you work."
"But...his mother picked him up...how...?" she appeared to be clueless, indeed.
"I'll explain what happened, or at least all I know..."
I detailed everything to Grace about the day I met Frankie. Where he was, what he'd told me, and how I'd decided to bring him home with me. Then I related my investigation and what I'd been able to find out. All I could hear on Grace's side of the line were gasps, exclamations and muffled curses.
"Damn! I regret so much not having insisted..." she whispered.
"Insisted on what?"
"I told our boss that I didn't trust Frank's mother and we shouldn't let her take him. But he said that she was Frankie's only other known relative and that he couldn't stay there for free..."
"Then you couldn't have done anything, so don't worry." I tried to make her feel better. I didn't have anything to reproach her. The thought that was occupying my head at the moment would only be labeled as selfish: if she had done something to stop Linda from taking Frank away, I would have never met him. Good that Grace couldn't read my mind...
"I guess..." she doubted. "That girl seemed regretful when she came for Frankie. She said she felt really bad for having neglected her son and would do her best for him. At a point even I believed her!"
"Fucking fake bitch!" I muttered. "Sorry..."
"It's ok, there's no other word for her, or at least no better one." she spoke with anger. "She can't even be called human. What human being refuses to take a baby to the hospital after he fell on his head? And then...who leaves their mentally ill kid alone in the street? Why couldn't she just say that she didn't want him? I would have tried to look for a solution. Not sure what, because I live here and own no house or enough money but...something!"
"Honestly, I don't get it. Just like you, I wonder why she accepted to take him with her if she was going to abandon him. For that reason I've been trying to collect information. Maybe if we join what we both..."
"Ok, I'll tell you all I know about Frankie first, just in case I'm interrupted. But if I'm not, then you'll tell me how he's been doing and let me talk to him...please? I miss him too much." she sniffed. I was sure that she was crying now.
"Of course."
"Well...Frankie's grandma brought him when he was 8. The old lady felt miserable for having to leave him here. She didn't specify what was wrong with her health, but explained that she was very sick and couldn't fend for herself anymore. Walking was becoming harder and harder for her and she was about to move to a nearby home for the elderly. The only possible way to have Frankie living with her was to hire a person to take care of both at her house. She had the money, but she didn't want such boring, depressing environment for her grandson. The woman thought that Frankie would be better here with other kids and professional care. She did promise to visit him while she could, and she did. She'd bring him presents and play with him for hours. Frank might not remember much because that only lasted three years. After that she got too sick to leave home, so she'd only call; until that stopped too."
"Was it then that Frank had to leave?" I asked.
"No, no. This was 5 years ago. I learned that Frank's grandma had died, but we kept receiving the money for that period of time.
"One more question: if Frank's grandma knew her daughter didn't want the kid, why did you even have Linda's data there?"
"Requirements of the institution. They asked the woman if Frank had any other relative, just in case they needed to communicate something about him and they couldn't find her. She made the big mistake of mentioning Frank's mother. Even though she emphasized that her daughter didn't want anything to do with the kid, they still demanded that she told them Linda's name and number. However, Frank's grandma begged for them to never call her daughter."
"Did they ever do it? I mean...call Frank's mother, before the last time."
"Yes...but she'd rarely answer, or she'd say she was too busy. I called her several times telling her Frank needed to see an oculist. In this institution they only take care of the patients' mental problems and of course, medical emergencies or minor illnesses. For any other case, their relatives are in charge. I was really worried because I'd noticed Frankie's sight was getting worse with time, but there was no one else I could call. His mother didn't care and I wasn't allowed to take Frankie anywhere myself." she told me, fighting the constant need to cry.
"Don't worry...I took care of that, Frankie has his glasses, now."
"Yes, John told me Frankie had glasses! It makes me really happy!" her voice's tone changed to a cheerier one.
"He's very happy too! And we were just in time, the oculist said that he could have gone nearly blind in a couple more years."
"Oh, dear..."
"Tell me, Grace...did something weird ever happen while Frank lived there?" I started to play Sherlock again.
"I don't know...like what?"
"Weird calls, or visits?" I didn't even know why I was asking that. I suddenly felt, more than ever, that there was somethign darker behind Frank's case. Grace was in silence for a while, probably meditating her answer.
"No calls...but there was a visit. Yes, how could I forget! About two years ago, I think...a guy came and asked to talk to the person in charge. I played fool and stayed to see what it was about. He showed us some documents and credentials proving that he worked for the government. The strangest part was what he wanted: he ordered us to delete Frank's data from all the records and never ever call the kid by his last name or mention it in front of him. He added that if we didn't comply or if we told someone else about it, the institution would be closed down." she left me frozen. That guy had been, no doubt, Linda's boyfriend -or husband. But why?
"Why?" I repeated aloud. "Going so far only because Frank's mother was ashamed of her son seems stupid and unnecessary..."
"I agree, so you know who that man was?"
"Linda's...man, not sure if they're married. I know he works for the government and has threatened people before." I explained.
"Oh...shit. This is all so complicated...poor Frankie, what kind of mother does he have?" Grace whimpered.
"The worst. Frankie, however, was able to remember his last name. I was glad he did because as I said, his ID was all ripped off. He told me that he heard you say it on the phone in a dream he had...though he didn't seem too sure about it being a dream."
"His ID was in perfect condition when I handed it to his mother... she must have ruined it. And Frank mighthave heard me on the phone, a couple of weeks before he left. I already knew he would have to and I was desperate. I wanted to find out why we kept receiving his grandmother's money for years after her death and then it suddenly stopped arriving. A friend contacted me with a judge who was going to do some research on the matter. One of the times I was in my room talking to him, Frankie walked in."
"And did you get to know something else from that judge?" I questioned, fidgeting on the couch.
"No...my boss caught me, he knew what I was doing. No idea how! He didn't fire me right away because we've known each other for a long time and he appreciates me, but he said nothing would stop him next time. He'd been clearly scared and edgy since that strange guy paid us that visit years ago. When Frank left, he even stated that it was maybe safer not to have the boy living here anymore. I didn't dare do anything else, it feels like the walls have eyes and ears in this place."
CHAPTER 34, PART 2
"Let's change the subject..!" I proposed, noticing that the memories were upsetting her. "...tell me something about Frankie."
"Frankie..." she uttered the name with love. "...I had this urge to protect him since the first time I saw him. He was so small that no one would have said he was 8; he looked like 5, as much. He also spoke with much more difficulty than now, pronouncing the words like a little child would besides the stuttering. It was hard to understand him sometimes, and I was basically the only one who always did. I think that brought us closer. I started to give him conversation and soon his speech improved and became clearer. I know that even now it's not perfect, but still very good considering his brain lesion."
"It surely is and man! He loves to talk!"
"He does!"
"I'm curious...how's the institution? How is it...divided?" I needed to know more about the place where Frank had lived for so many years.
"It consists of two large buildings placed together. One is for the girls and the other one for the boys, but they all eat at the same dining room. So if Frankie ever mentioned fights with girls, that's why." she laughed for the first time, while I did the same recalling Frank telling me how mean girls were. Grace continued.
"Each building is divided in areas according to ages. The last one where Frank was, included 13 to 17 year-old boys."
"But Frank was already 18..."
"Yes...they made an exception with him, the psychiatrist didn't think it'd be good for Frank to be with older boys. He's always even found it hard to make friends among boys his age, and it got worse as he grew up. If kids in general can be cruel, imagine these with all kinds of mental or serious behavioral problems. Not all of them are mean, of course. Some are very sweet just like Frankie, but many had a liking for making fun of him for any reason. He seemed to get along a lot better with younger kids, so we'd let him play with them. He was happier and there wasn't much of a difference in size, anyway"
What Grace told me could be one of the reasons for Frankie's childish behavior; though I wasn't sure whether his environment had caused that or if it was his nature and he'd only searched for his equals. Either way I'd never try to change that or force him to act his age. Maybe he'd get more mature with time, being in contact with adults; but if that never happened I would not mind. I loved Frankie the way he was and it's how I'd met him.
"Anything else you'd particularly like to know?" she asked kindly. I guessed I'd been quiet for a while without noticing.
"Yes...Frankie told me something about a teacher that didn't want to teach him anymore and called him retarded...he thinks he was 11 when that happened." I brought back.
"Oh, yes...I'm sure he was 11. That...piece of shit of a teacher Frankie took around three years to learn how to write and read, since he had only gone to kinder before coming here. I had to help him a lot, because that guy was never very patient. I don't know how he was hired and kept for so long here, where patience is one of the main requisites. He wasn't usually mean to the children, but he didn't have enough consideration. For moments he'd seem to forget they were 'special'. One day he just took Frankie out of the class, brought him to me and told me that he was incapable of learning any further. He said the boy was not only crazy but retarded and would just bother the other kids. He fucking told me all that in front of Frank! No one heard my complaints about the teacher. They said he was a professional and knew each child's limits; that we should just let Frankie play with his toys and not force his brain anymore. Although I didn't have much time, I wasn't going to give up on Frank so easily. I knew he could learn something more. Since he loves animals, I'd make him read books about them or I'd tell him some facts myself. I taught him how to count, some calculations...then he began to lose his sight and the possibilities got reduced. But he loves to learn..." she trailed off. "He just needs some extra patience, you know?"
"I know, he's a smart boy. I'm helping him all I can, too" I smiled to myself.
"Now tell me something about Frankie nowadays...his health, how he behaves..." Grace almost implored.
I resumed the most important facts, happenings and experiences I could remember; making her giggle, laugh and cry in a short span of time. Even though I couldn't see her and there was a vast distance in between us, I could feel her love for Frankie. Her reactions and the way she spoke about him were enough to let me know how important the kid was for her.
I told Grace the name of the medication Frank was taking, and she said it was one of the only two that worked sufficiently well for him. She commented that she'd always insisted that Frank could do fine on a similar dose to the current one; but they'd usually keep it higher to suppress the hallucinations.
She then recommended having Frank's blood checked. Those meds tended to lower the number of white blood cells, and he often needed some supplements to regulate that. I promised to do it before fall, when he'd be more propense to get sick. It worried me to think of all the things I'd need to have in mind and the problems that might show up along the way. But I hid it in order to sound secure for Grace.
She also confirmed what Frank had told me about being forcefully injected when he 'wasn't a good boy'. There were days when he'd refuse to take his pills; specially if Grace or the other nurses who were the nicest to him were not available, or if they didn't have the flavor of candy he liked. In those cases Frankie would bite whoever tried to get the pills into his mouth, so they'd resort to shots.
"I stopped them many times, but others I'd be too late. They used to give him sedatives together with his normal medication when that happened, which was absolutely unnecessary. Poor angel...they'd leave him looking like a living dead."
"Did they ever put him in isolation? Well, if you have something like that there..." I'd only seen those places in movies, and it froze my blood to imagine Frank there.
"Only once. But what we have here is not that bad, really. It's luminous and airy, and there are plushies to play with and a TV that shows cartoons." she said and then went on, guessing where my doubts came from. "The only thing in common with those rooms you see in movies is that it's padded for the the patients not to get hurt. For some of them it's a good option, it calms them down. We never leave them there more than one, two hours tops. Frankie...he's never liked to be alone, so it just made him desperate and more nervous than he was. After that first, fruitless attempt, I told them that I'd take care of Frank's nervous episodes from then on."
"Oh, good..." I was really relieved to hear that, even if the room wasn't as creepy as I'd imagined.
More than an hour and a half went by and we were still on the phone sharing memories and stories. I was telling her about Puppy when Frankie came into the living room and plopped down on the couch beside me.
"He was too quick, sorry." Ray apologized.
"B-booored. W-who you t-talking to?" he neared his ear to mine.
"It's Grace, I'll let you talk to her in a while." I told him. He widened his eyes in surprise.
"G-grace? M-my Grace?"
"Yes!" Frank's smile was gigantic after having the confirmation.
"Frankie's there?" she whispered.
"L-lemme!" the boy held the handset, trying to snatch it from me.
"Just a minute Frankie, I told you I'll let you talk to her!"
"N-no... NOW!"
"Frankie just..."
"G-GRACE!" he screamed close to my face. "G-Gerard's my b-boyfriend, I h-have a real boyfriend n-now!"
Ray looked at me mutely. I looked at Frankie, my mouth falling open. The hand that was holding the phone rested on my lap, I was terrified. Frankie was smiling and jumping on the couch.
"Hello? HELLO?" Grace's voice reached me and I had to gather a lot of courage to bring the phone back to my ear and speak again.
"Grace I...let me explain it all before you form an opinion, please." I faltered. She sighed loudly, irritated.
"Let me talk to Frankie first. No 'buts'. Now. "
"Grace wants to talk to you, Frankie." I handed him the phone and felt myself near to crying. Ray squeezed my shoulder, trying to give me strength.
"Wait...." he said.
"G-grace! M-missed you! Y-you know? I...I l-live with Gee and...and I h-have glasses and can s-see better now and r-read and all th-that! Oh and I h-have a dog that's c-called Puppy! H-he was in-invisible sometimes but n-now he's not a-anymore but...b-but he lost his s-spot. It w-was like a f-flower. T-told Gee to see if he f-finds it in the s-street. Y-yeah. A-and I'm a g-good boy and take my p-pills and the d-doctor said I'm b-better and Gerard's v-very very nice and also R-Ray that takes care of m-me and then D-Donna...y-yeah?" Frankie chattered non-stop, barely breathing in between sentences, like wanting to fit almost two months into a minute. Then he suddenly made a pause, listening and nodding as if Grace could see him.
"K-kay. Yeah." he got up, walked to the smaller couch, and sat down on it Indian style facing the wall. "Y-yes."
"What the...?" Ray and I exchanged confused looks.
"Y-yes, I am. N-no he can't. N-no, he didn't t-tell me to say a-anything! Yep, p-promise. I kn-know, lying is b-bad!" I heard Frank answer while playing with his hair. It made me desperate not to know what Grace was telling him, and now I couldn't even see Frank's face. I assumed that she had instructed him to sit like that, far away and turning his back on me; so I could not hear her or indicate Frankie what to say.
I stayed there, isolated, and listened to Frank's monologue trying to get something out if it. Ray went back to the kitchen.
"Y-yes he's my b-boyfriend. F-first he said we c-couldn't be, 'cause people d-don't like when s-someone special l-loves someone that's n-not special. B-but one n-night we...we had a d-date...like in m-movies! And h-he asked me to b-be his b-boyfriend! I s-said yes!" he related excitingly and stopped to listen..
"K-kay. T-told you I n-never lie! N-no. N-NO! N-no never!" he gasped. "W-we kiss a l-lot, I like th-that very much and we h-hold hands! Y-yes...caress-es, yes. A....a l-little. B-but he a-asked me if it w-was ok, and I t-told him it was 'cause f-felt good. Uh..." he seemed to be thinking about something Grace had asked him. Meanwhile, I was hyperventilating.
"N-no, I'm here! N-no, not t-talking to Gee! C-can't even see h-him from h-here! K-kay. I k-know. W-we...yeah, once. N-no, not n-naked! W-we had p-pants! And I t-touched him t-too. No, r-really! Y-yes I liked it!" I almost had a heart attack hearing what he had said. He moved his face a little to the side, and I could see that he was blushing.
That couldn't be happening. Grace would hate me.
"N-no, Grace! I l-liked it a l-lot! N-no told you he d-didn't. N-no, d-didn't try! I t-told him 'b-bout John and wh-what you said. He s-said it was f-fine and he w-would never m-make me do a-anything if I didn't w-want to. R-really, he's g-good and I l-love him and he l-loves me and takes c-care of me...and is the b-best boyfriend ever!
The conversation went on for at least ten more minutes. I was sure that Grace had asked Frankie the same questions once and again to see if he would answer identically each time. Apparently, he did.
"I s-swear I won't t-tell him. Y-yes, tell me. Y-yes, I t-told Gee that...aha. Y-yes I'm sure, I l-love him." he made the longest pause. "O-okay, but...n-not sure if I w-want to do th-that. B-because when John...oh...k-kay. Y-yes, I do. Y-yes I u-understand!" he nodded several times. "A-anything I don't like...I t-tell him to stop. Y-yes, get it." he seemed to be getting some advices from Grace. "L-love you too. K-kay." he came and gave me the phone, grinning. "G-grace said she w-wants to talk to y-you now."
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