then........................ am i...... Haewon's...........i mean..... do i like HAewon....?
........i might be in denial..
i could be afraid that... that even though i knew haewon for only a couple of months... he has already taken a bigger part of my heart than Daehan.... and.. and because i don't want him to... i could have been stubborn on purpose........ thinking this and that... feeling proud that i realized such an important thing.. i opened my mouth wide to eat some more dip n' dots!- 0 -!!
"oOo? Haewon ah~ that girl crouching right there.. she has the same backpack as you! ^ ^ theres even a girl's version of your backpack ^ ^ ahhhh... want me to buy the same backpack? we could go around having the same backpack like couples!!^?^"
- 0 -......- 0 -...... - _ -..................
i silently closed my mouth.. and looked over my shoulders after getting up slowly.....
Haewon.......... stood frozen while staring wide eyed at me... and... next to him..... was a bushy haired girl linking arms with him.......
she had on a gray uniform.. next to Haewon.... was all of his friends i saw before at the lifts.. (including Wun). and... next to all of his friends... were girls wearing a gray uniform... all linking arms with Haewon's friends.......
..........the... the only reason i'm mad............ is because......
that's... that's a different girl......she isn't the same girl wearing the red uniform.............
how can you Haewon............. Bahn Haewon...... you're bad.............. you're really bad....... even.. even though this is a field trip..even though this may be something as little as hunting......i don't like you doing stuff like this.....................
Daehan... Daehan never......... never did something like this....... at least Daehan....... he never played around with different girls when he was with Jaehee...........
i slowly turned my head again.... and started walking to my kekekaka friends....
"CHUNG HANKYUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Hankyung ah! YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i ignored my name being called... and continued walking straight...... i heard rapid footsteps.. and Haewon blocked my way with his arms........
"...hyah,... hyah... hah... Yah........."
"............"
"...i'm sorry... i'm really sorry... but...but it isn't what it seems like.."
"...........Haewon........... can you please move out of the way.^ ^?"
"...i told you it's not what it seems like..... before on the stage i-"
i brushed past Haewon while he was speaking.... and continued walking to my kekekaka friends.
"..yah... CHung Hankyung........"
my wrists were firmly gripped by Haewon's large hands......
"...your... girlfriend's waiting for you back there.....^ ^..she's even watching..."
"what are you talking about.... aren't you my girl................."
"......you..... have a lot of girlfriends HAewon..........."
"....don't talk that crap to me.............. i told you it's not what it seems like........."
"....i'm not talking any crap Haewon........ it's.. it's just the truth isn't it..^ ^"
".....yeah? what about you... you always got me frustrated by other guys........."
"...other guys? hah... you were mad cuz of one guy... as to you..... several girls..... it just has that one difference doesn't it... one person.. to several....^-^......"
"......yah-_-^!! you kept on switching around Kim Daehan and Chung Taesung b!tch making me go crazy!!!"
Haewon's voice slowly and slowly got louder......
"........yeah did i... Haewon.. listen.. i never... never played around with several guys just after meeting them for the first time....... and.. the person i like.... is Daehan only... i told you Taesung's just like a brother to me......."
Haewon slowly let go of my wrists.....
"..you........... only like Kim Daehan......? hah... do you mean that..................?"
.....Chung Hankyung you liar...... the person you really like is... is Haewon............. why'd you lie Hankyung..?0?.. why..?0?..still............. sshi..?0?..we're not in any lovey dovey situation to confess my feelings Haewon....?.,?....
i stared dumbfoundedly at HAewon... i said the wrong thing..?^?..
heukheuk..?^?...it's not.. it's not what i really feel HAewon..?^?... Haewon... i'm sorry....?0?...
wait.. no..... this time... Haewon's the one who's really bad this time.... i can't.. i can't stutter our an apology this time..?_?.....it's your fault this time Haewon.. more than mine...
..i waited an hour cuz of you.................but did you care..... you show up linking arms with another girl..?_?..
i silently picked up my pace once again.......
"....****.... yah.... is this.......................... how it's gonna end................?"
Haewon whispered out as if he was mad.............. and sad at the same time..
i........ ignored his outburst... and continued walking........it wasn't because i was mad at hAewon.... it's just that... i'm so sorry...?_?..and... i can't bring myself to look at him..?_?..these tears won't stop...............
if Haewon called my name one more time..........than i can really bring up the courage to run back to him...?_?.....
in the bus coming back.
my friends talked nonstop about the guys they just met.. while i stupidly leaned my head against the window... trying my best to swallow back my tears... you could've called my name just one more time Haewon......?0?...
you dummy dummy dummy.?^?..just... one more time.....
Bahn Haewon you big bad dummy..?_?...
A wolf's attraction-59
.. that night at our house....
Dareum was busy chatting on the phone with the guy she met while hunting.. while.... I continuously stared at the cell phone on my bed.. it... won't ring.............not even a text message........
should I call him first...?_?.......???????????
I carefully flipped open the phone...and dialed Haewon's new cell phone number..
the signal ringed a couple of times... his cell phone was off................. I tirelessly closed the phone once again.. and... listening to Dareum's excited chatting.. I fell into a deep slumber............
next morning.
"Dareum... are you done?"
"yeah!! Hold up I'll be right out!!!!!!!!"
while Dareum and I headed out the door together..
"Unni.... Everyone's coming to our house today"
"yeah..??"
"..i mean.. the only empty house is ours... so all of my friends are coming over.."
"ah.... Haewon, too..?"
"of course Haewon... Wun, too... and the other guys............... several girls are coming over, too..."
"ah.......... I see.............."
"Don't worry though~ I'll distract the other kids and send HAewon too your room!! So you don't have to worry about the girls~~"
Dareum lightly tapped my shoulders..
"..DAreum... I'm going somewhere today though..- _ -"
"huh? where..?"
you'll never get me to tell you I'm going to the Pacific Ocean with Taesung..? _?..
"see.. I'm going to the Pacific Ocean.."
? _?
"with who?! WHY!!? It's hecka far though unni!!! Aren't you coming to school tomorrow!?!?"
"of course I am... I'll be coming back in the morning.. probably.."
"..- 0 -..unni, are you crazy?!?! Who are you going with huh?! WHO!!!!!!!"
"hey!! We're here already!!"
I quickly pressed on the bell.
and waving to DAreum who was screaming out my name.. ran quickly into the gates...
hek.....hek...................hek...?_?.
5 minutes before 2nd period...
I felt my cell phone vibrating through my jacket pockets..
"..hello..?"
"nuna!! It's me..."
"ah..... Taesung what's up...."
"nothing much.... Nuna!! What time do you end today??"
"..four.... ten I think..???"
"think about it carefully.... Won't we be late for the last ticket?-0-?"
"late...?.............. um.. late for what..- _ -..?"
">_< can you skip the last period..^ ^ "
"...- _ -....skip......... SKIP...??? I can't...?_?...i sit in the very front.."
"okay!! Um.. how about you just go home early then?! Um.... I'll wait infrnt of your house by 3 okay..??? lets go eat tofu soup~! We'll go by our motocycle!! Vroomvroom!! Yahoo~!!!"
"3.?_?!?but our 6th period's just starting then..!"
"yeah^ ^ I know.^ ^ 6th period..^ ^ I'll see you at 3!! "
click.................
- _ - - _ -
the only time I had ever skipped.... No... I had ever missed a day of school... was when my dad passed away... you want me to skip 6th period.. - 0 -....especially when I sit in the very front..?^?..
but................ I HAVE to hear his story today.. if I don't.. I think I'll go crazy..?_?
whew.......... What to do..... what should I do... hrmmm..
while thinking and worrying.... time had passed like water and it was lunch time before long......
my kekekaka friends were busy talking on the phone with the guys from last night..? -?
I happily munched on my lunch alone.. and desperately wanting some caramel candy... I decided to go to the supermarket infront of our school..
"guys....... Want some caramel..?"
"kaka>?< dunno~~~ I'm usually like that for some reason~~~"
..= _ =.. my friends were too busy talking on the phone. I silently came out of the classroom.. walking out of the gates.....my cell phone began vibrating once again.
".......it's Jaehee.................."
on the caller ID... the writing
"Jaehee Nuna"
appeared..
- 0 - - 0 - - 0 -
I caught a glimpse of Haewon and his friend at the backfield.. the phone continued vibrating nonstop. Haewon caught my gaze and turned his head once again..
you.. YOU.....
"....hello........"
"..isn't this.. Haewon's cell phone number?"
...i haven't heard Jaehee's voice in a long time...
".ah.. jaehee... this is Hankyung...^ ^"
"...........why.. are YOU picking up Haewon's call....?"
"...um.... you see..."
"why are YOU getting his call....."
"Haewon gave me his phone........"
"hah.......... This is driving me crazy.............."
"......it's been awhile, no Jaehee..? how have you been..?"
"lemme talk to Haewon"
"..........what?????????"
"let me talk to haewon...................."
"......i can't......"
"..what..???????????"
"..i.can't...."
"....what the hell's wrong with you?!?! Chung hankyung!!! I won't talk any **** about you so let me talk to Haewon already!!!!"
>?< >?< >?<
Jaehee screeched loudly... I guess her voice was louder than I had thought. because Haewon and his friend stared at me surprised from the gates.. - _ -
"I can't... Jaehee... sorry..?_?...i won't let you talk to him..?_?..."
"WHAT!?!?!?"
"sorry.... I'm really sorry Jaehee..?_?..."
as soon as I ended the call..... the phone started vibrating again... Jaehee.....?_?.. placing the phone into my pockets... I silently walked out of the gates..
.......haewon and his friends moved somewhere else.. deciding whether or not I should call his name..
I sighed at my trembling lips.. and just walked over to the supermarket.
5th period ended..
and wanting to get a pass from the teachers... I walked to the attendance office.. I didn't even pretend to be sick.. yet the teacher gave me a pass. I swung my backpack over my shoulders and strolled out of school light hearted.
the water gun girl.. and Haewon stood next to the gates..........they were both putting up election posters.. yeah..... I heard something about school elections coming up.
firmly gripping my backpack........... I lowered my head.. and speed walked while clutching onto my cell phone - _ -
"....excuse me..."
.... the water gun girl called out carefully... when I glanced up. I saw her ID flashing the name ‘Yoo Haejung'
"..yes...?"
"..do you have permission to go out of school...?"
".......ah.. yeah I have a pass from the teachers............."
Haewon was staring off into space while ignoring my gaze - _ -..
"..ah.. can't you show me that pass.... The rules are so strict these days..."
"um.. he took it - _ -.. but he gave me permission..."
"...yeah? what teacher..? are you sick?"
"..mr. Yoo SangChun...... and no, I have a meeting with someone...- 0 -.."
then... Yoo Jaejung...? Yeah... Yoo haejung poked Haewon's sides..- _ -
"yah... isn't she your girlfriend...??? Why are you ignoring her..."
"frick.. just let her go aight? She said she has a meeting with someone....."
"....okay okay... I'll let her go, man you're in a pissy mood today.... Sshi.... Have fun with whatever you're doing."
"..i will....- 0 -....."
I heard Haejung's voice while I was walking out of school..
"yah.. d'you guys fight? What the heck's wrong with you?! Even I got all akward.."
"we didn't fight............."
"...then why...? Kek.. what if that unni's... gonna go meet some guy..?"
".......asdakhdas..."
Haewon just muttered something.... or I think he did.... I couldn't hear him very well. calming down my aching heart... I hurried on home..?_?.. when I was nearing our house.........
bbi..bbi bbi bbi bbi bbi bbi bbi....
"hello..?"
"hah............ nuna... nuna.... This is Taesung..."
Taesung sounded exhausted....
"yeah.. what's up Taesung."
"nuna... I'm sorry but do you know the way to get to the Pacific ocean..?"
"..yeah.. I do... I just gotta take the train, right..? I went there several times with my dad before..^ ^.."
"ah............ i.......... see......"
"yeah. But... why what's wrong???"
"see.. I'm at Choong book right now...!! And if I go back to Ahnyang to pick you up, my motorcycle'll be gas-less! - 0 - I had money to refill but this nuna stole it from me!! sshi..........."
"..ah... it's okay I'll just go there by myself^ ^ but why are you at Choong Book...?"
"fight fight fight!!>_<!"
".- _ -....again..?"
"yeah^ ^ I'm not hurt or anything though... leave right now!! I'll be waiting for you okay!"
"..okie... it's cold.. go wait in some store okay?!^?^!!"
"I will~~"
"^ ^ I'm hanging up ^ ^"
"k^?^"
A wolf's attraction-60
.. I went back to our house.. and changed into warm clothes..
oh yeah.. Haewon's coming to our house today - 0 -!! I started cleaning up the mess around the livingroom and the kitchen.. and............................ Bling! An idea popped into my head!! I have a feeling, I'm turning more weirder everyday.. - _ -
in an attempt to make up with Haewon.. I left a short letter for him.. and placed it on Dareum's desk ^ ^
on the front..
"Hey Haewon."
- _ - in big letters..
proudly, I glanced around our sparkling clean house..and took out sneakers to put them on. calling Taesung... I questioned him how I could get to Pacific Ocean from Ahnyang...
an hour later.........
........ (- _ -)
on the train.....
it was empty except for a couple of passengers.. watching the pebbles out of the window.. I bit my lip to the fast speed of the train..
I haven't been to the beach in forever ^ ^ the phone started ringing disturbing my thoughts.
it's taesung!!
"Taesung^ ^!"
"Nuna!! I'm at Ahnyang!! I came to pick you up!! Aren't you proud of me!?!?"
"..- _ -..Nuna's on the train taesung....... You should've told me earlier.....- _ -.."
"..?_?..i sent you a text before... to just wait at Ahnyang..?_?.."
"..- _ - I didn't get one TAesung....."
"sshi!! What do we do then!!?_?!!!"
"..- _ -...i'll just meet you tomorrow.........."
"no......... I havta tell you today... we keep on saying tomorrow and tomorrow... nuna.. I'm really sorry but can you wait for me just an hour...? I'll be there before long.........."
"..okay..^ ^..i... can get to school tomorrow right..?_?..?"
"..of course... I'll take full responsibility to get you back at Ahnyang by tomorrow...."
"...^?^ really?"
"of course. You're my nuna... ^ ^.. don't speak to any strangers okay!!"
"okie..^ ^...."
I wonder what Taesung has to say.... what if its something shocking - 0 -!?!? like............. He's my hidden brother!! or *gasp!! What if he's my hidden husband!!! AHHH>_< aren't these exactly what happens in dramas?..>_<
silently making faces at my ideas. I fell asleep on the train chairs not before long.
Taesung...?
Nuna........ I'm cold.......
Taesung...... why.. why are you cold.......
Taesung's face was hidden behind some white veil....while I continuously searched for something....
NUna...?... nuna....................
yeah TAesung... I'm right here.......
come quickly..........
yeah... I'm going Taesung... I'm going...
no.... nuna. Not there............ not there..... I'm waiting for you right here..........
"Taesung!!-0-!!!!!!!!!!"
when I opened my eyes, sweating furiously.... the train had stopped. carefully.. I asked the ahjuma getting off as to where we were..
"what stop is this...? Do you know..?"
"the ocean dear.. Pacific..."
"ah.. thank you......."
I hurried out the door.... now that I'm here...where should I wait for TAesung.......... I dialed Taesung's number..
even after several tries.......... Taesung didn't pick up the phone.... I left several voice messages.. sent more than 10 messages....... and called him more than 20 times..... But taesung continued ignoring my call..
I wonder what's up............. I hope everything's okay................... I stepped into a nearby cafe.....
"one lemon juice please..^ ^...."
an hour passed..... I just.... Have to wait 30 minutes now~~..^ ^...
I dialed Taesung's number once again...... but he still wasn't picking up the phone..?_?..
...........2 hours passed...............it's already 7........ it got pretty dark, too..?_?..
it's about time he should arrive..... Taesung where are you.. why aren't you coming..?_? on my 3rd lemon juice. I only had enough money to go back.. - _ - can't even order anymore even if I wanted to.... I left Taesung his 24th voice message.. everything's okay... right Taesung...? Theres nothing wrong with you...?....... the phone started ringing right then!!!!!!
Dareum.......
"hey.. Dareum....."
"unni where are you?"
"I'm... at the ocean...."
"everyone's here unni!! Haewon, too!! Come quick!!"
"..yeah..^ ^.have fun Dareum..."
"..sshi... Yoo Haejung came too!!! You better come right now!! That b!tch won't leave Haewon alone!!! Unni come quick!!!!!!"
"......yeah............... okay... Dareum... wait for me okay.."
"come quickly!!!!!!!!!"
"k........"
Haejung came, too.....?..........man......- _ -.... I hope she doesn't see the letter I wrote for HAewon- _ -.. I should've told Dareum when she called.?_?.. to give HAewon his letter..?_?.... when I opened my cell phone to check the time...
..... AHH - 0 -!!!!!!!
10:00. - _ -........
........- _ -.....what do I do........- _ -....
Taesung..?_?..can't you come already.. please....?_?...... at least call me if you can't come..?_?
and......
a little past 10 30....... I decided to go back... and go up on my seat......
on the train back...
my mouth kept on biting my nails.. I can't help but feel anxious... and insecure... what if something bad happened to Taesung....... even in the train.. I continued calling him numerous times.. but... only the signal kept on going on.. while TAesung wouldn't pick up the phone......... when I arrived infront of our house. I was beat more than anything..? -?..
12... 13..whew.. - _ -....
even infront of our house.. I heard loud noise coming from inside.. the loudest was Dareum's voice.. that's my sister... Dareum you're always so bright........ when I rang the bell... Dareum opened the door wide looking happy to see me.
"UNNI!!!!!>_<! You finally came>_<!!"
"yeah............ I did.......- _ -..whew.."
"let's go!! Lets lets lets!!! Let's go in quickly!!!!!!!"
"..huh?? go where..?_?.Dareum.. wa.. wait!! Let go of my hand Dareum..?_?.. go where...?_?..."
"sshi!! That yoo haejung b!tch's pretending to be all drunk!!!! She keeps on hugging haewon!!! QUICKKKK!!"
"..?_?..but it's your meeting... Dareum.. wait... can I change first... ah ahhh..."
Dareum had already slammed open the door...... - _ -.. what I saw inside... wasn't the nicest thing in the world.. many soju bottles lay in the ground..
..... dry squid.... Several fruits......... bags of chips.. and.. a couple laying on DAreum's bed.. - 0 - the same couple I saw several times at our school.. - 0 -..
wun was fast asleep on the chair... another couple yelling out things while doing a love shot.... a friend of HAewon's...... drinking soju on Dareum's desk....
- _ -...i had no other choice but to gasp....
And... Haewon sat infront of me staring at me intensely. while cute Haejung whispered things into his ears sitting right next to him.
"yah!! My unni's here!!! Bahn Haewon!! Yoo Haejung!!! Move aight!!!?? Haewon's wife's here!"
when Dareum shouted out loudly.. Haejung scoffed...
"Haewon... d'you see the letter...?"
I asked Haewon carefully..
"no.... what letter....."
"....nevermind....."
Dareum yanked on my arms and seated me right next to HAewon. and... getting up her desk... she began shouting with Haewon's friend... - _ -..
"....what is this.... Am I suppose to move..?"
Haejung whined..
"....no...... just stay....."
Haewon pulled Haejung's hand back down when she tried to get up.....i couldn't help but tear up.
nooo..?^?
I can't show him this side of me..?^?..i'll just get really pathetic that's all.....?^?.... sshi... Bahn Haewon you @ss!!..?0?.... I quietly stood up...
"..i'm....... imma go..................."
Haewon didn't say anything...... I lightly grabbed the door knob.. and a tear fell upon my hand..?0?..
heukheuk.. Haewon you.... heukheuk...?0?......
creak...... when I opened the door..... my cell phone began ringing...........the room had quieted down.... everyone stared at me.. - _ -.. excluding Haewon - _ -....
"Hel... Hello"
"..ah...... is this... Chung Hankyung's cell phone?"
"yes............ this is she??"
"..ah.... this is AhnYang Samsung Hospital...... are you a guardian of the number 011-213-38**...?"
a wolf's attraction-61
.. my heart stopped beating...............that's.. Taesung's cell phone number..........
"yes.......... I'm not a guardian..... but I am close with Taesung...."
Haewon looked up at Taesung's name..
"can you come to the hospital right now..? the patient is in danger right now, yet you're the only one we can contact.... The only phone number saved onto his cell phone is yours..... it's located downtown.. please hurry.."
sseuk........ my hand had given up and dropped the phone onto the floor.......
"what... what happened unni?!?"
Dareum quickly jumped down from the desk and asked me while shaking my shoulders furiously......
".Da.... Dareum.... Please... let me borrow some money....................... please...... taxi.......... It's urgent... please Dareum........"
my whole body started shaking.......
....
"why! Taesung!? You're gonna go to Chung Taesung!?!?! I wont!! I can't give it to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Dareum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm serious!!! It's urgent!!!! I havta go to Taesung right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not playing Dareum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my shout even scared Jooho from the other room as he ran into Dareum's room in surprise...... tears fell nonstop... Dareum just stared at me surprised.. the room had quieted down once again......
"..Unni......................"
"....don't forbid me to meet Taesung........ if I want to, Imma meet him..."
"....Chung Hankyung....... If it's urgent... take my car..."
Haewon... told me quietly...
".....yours? hah..... I wont.... Please Dareum.... Lemme borrow some money......... it's urgent... right now... please quickly........."
Haewon slowly got up..
"listen to me.......... Don't be so stubborn........."
opening the door wide... he dragged my hand... and got out of the house..
"Haewon!!!!!!!"
I heard Haejung's desperate voice calling for Haewon..
in the elevator.........
...i can't help but feel so insecure... you're... you're okay right taesung... right...????...
.................like Taesung said before..........i feel like imma burst any minute...................
"........did........ something happen to Chung Taesung.?"
(- -)(_ _)(- -)(_ _)....
"..stop crying.."
(- -)(_ _)(- -)(_ _).............
I quickly got into Haewon's car.. and waited for Haewon to start the engine..
"Samsung hospital Haewon...... quick... quick................ Quick.... Please......"
"....did you just say........... the hospital....?"
"..YES!!-0-!! Quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"............"
Haewon turned on the engine and speeded downtown.....
..........
"what if Taesung dies..... what do I do....?0?..if Taesung dies......... what do I do..?0?!!"
"..........is it that serious.....?"
"..heukheukheuk..?^? it's all my fault...... all my fault.. if I hadn't made him meet me today.... If he had just stayed at Choong book... he would've been okay.?0? it's all my fault..?-?......"
"........was that...... why you went home early....?"
"heukheukheuk..?0?...Taesung..?0?..i.. I mean.. Haewon... can't you go any faster???!?0?!! Taesung wait for me.......?_?.........."
".....would you cry for me as much..... if I were to die....?"
"heukheukheuk..?0?..Taesungggg......wahhh..?^?...you can't die..?^?..."
"yah!!! Stop ignoring me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 0 - - 0 -......
"so... sorry..- 0 -..what'd you say..???"
"......hoo........... nevermind....."
"can't you drive any faster..?0?..?!!!!"
Haewon just punched the steering wheel without giving me an answer. thanks to that............ BEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>?< >?< ahhh that just hurt my ears..>?<
"....you annoy me.... D'you know that Chung Hankyung......"
"..yeah... I know.... Now drive faster!! please?0?...."
"......do you even think of me as a guy.........?......"
"?0?..quick. quickly.."
".............we're here.. get off.............."
"thanks!!"
as if someone was chasing after me.. I sprinted into the hospital. without giving a glimpse to Haewon.
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