" A miracle of modern therapy, may be. I was really fucked up for a while, there are still some triggers I don't think I'll ever get past. "
I contemplate this for a moment then shudder, remembering how I came on to her when we first met. God, I was an arrogant pig, so use to women falling at my feet. I'd expected Eva to succumb, just like all the others, where as in reality I'd probably frightened the shit out of her.
" God.. The way I came on to you ….. I could of ruined us before we even got started … Then the Advocacy dinner when I.. ….. " I couldn't finish the sentence.. In the limo after sex I'd completely freaked, zoning her out. Then acted like a complete nerd once we were there.
" Eva, don't let me blow this, you and me it means everything. Don't let me chase you away. "
Lifting her head she searched my face, gently running her fingers down my cheeks " Don't try to second guess everything you do or say to me because of Nathan, and what he did. It will break us apart.It will end us. "
" Don't ever say that, don't even think it.. " I whispered fiercely.
" I wish I never had to tell you. " She strokes my face trying to iron out the worry lines.
Catching her hand I press my lips to her fingers " I have to know everything,every part of you, inside and out, every detail. " Because she is mine, mine to love, mine to care for,mine to protect and mine to possess..
" A woman has to have some secrets, " She teases.
" Not with me.. " I tug Eva against me, pulling her hair back to see her face, I'm still inside her, she's literally nailed to my lap. " You'll have no secrets with me. I'm going to possess you Eva. It's only fair since you've possessed me. "
" And what about your secrets, Gideon? " She probed..
My face closed over, I couldn't let her in.. Not yet … I wasn't ready for that.
" I started from scratch with you... everything I thought I was.. or needed.. " I fighting to find the right words,it's difficult.. "We're figuring out who I am together. You're the only one who knows me."
She frowns, unsure, probably confused at my inept explanation. Christ, even I am confused...
" Eva, You must tell me what you want … I'm trying, I can get better at this. Give me a chance.. Just … Just don't give up on me. "
I know I'm being unfair, demanding from her that what I'm unwilling to give back …. Not yet... may be... in the future we'll see.
She searches my face intently, I know she can see past the façade I portray to the world. She saw through me the very first day in the lobby. She knows there's another side to my nature, something broken …. Dark and dangerous she'd called me …
" I need something from you, Gideon. "
I'm instantly wary, silently pleading with her not to delve too deep.
"Anything. Just tell me. " Please angel don't ask … not that.. please.....
" Every day I need you to tell me something about yourself, no matter how small. Promise me that you will. "
"What ever I want? "
She nods.
" Okay," I can manage that, as long as it's my choice what to reveal.
" Let's go out for dinner, I want to go on a date with you," I murmur nuzzling her hair with my lips, relieved at avoiding her probing questions.
" Sounds romantic and irresistible, " She smiles.
….
We showered together, I love the feel of her hands on my body as she gently washes me down, it is so intimate, of course the moment her hands tenderly moved around my groin I get an instant erection, taking the body wash from her I take over the job of washing Eva, her body is so soft and curvy. Cupping her between the legs she catches my hand urging two fingers inside her. " Mine " I whisper. Easing my fingers in and out. She slides her hands over my cock and whispers the same back. The next few minutes or so we are silent as we bring each other to our releases.
Back in the bedroom Eva hugs the blue dress to her. " Did you really pick this out Gideon? "
" Of course. Do you like it? "
" It's beautiful, My mother said you had excellent taste …. except for your preference for brunettes. "
Hmm.. tenuous ground.. don't want to go there.. play it cool Gideon...
" What brunettes? " I chirp, disappearing into my closet.
" Ooh nicely done." She trills.
Shit.. Ahh yes … " Look in the top drawer on the right. "
I'd made space for the clothes I'd purchased, well my housekeeper had, plus I'd had her purchase toiletries for Eva to use, I knew what to buy I'd looked at her credit card statement.. better not mention that..
"I have a drawer? " She enquires as I make my way back into the room.
" Yes, three in the dresser, two in the bathroom. "
" Gideon. It usually takes a few months to work up to a drawer."
This annoys me, I don't need a few months to realize how I feel about Eva, I know. Why waste time?
" How would you know? You've lived with another man other than Cary? "
I didn't really need her to answer, I knew from her background check that she'd never lived with any other man. I am just trying to emphasize that everything is a clean sheet for Eva and I, we don't have to live by what others think should be done.. Plus it has been an excellent distraction technique, away from BRUNETTES ….
…..
I take Eva to Masa, it's a fabulous restaurant,it is a small intimate restaurant, chef Masa prepares the food himself. There is no menu. ' omakase' meaning ' I'll leave it to you ' translated from Japanese. It is considered one of the most expensive restaurants in the world, I often go during the day to bar Masa with business associates.
We don't sit around the bar, we sit at one of only three tables, it's quieter, more intimate,enabling me to openly caress Eva's shoulders and back, occasionally kissing her temple.
Eva is relaxed,chatty even. I ask how she met Cary, I know I have this information, but only the facts not the detail. She went on to explain about Dr. Travis and his mad skills, Cary was seeing Travis too. She shook her head at me when I asked about SDSU whether she went there because her dad lived in southern California, inadvertently exposing my prior knowledge of her.
"How much have you dug up on me? "
" What ever I could find. " I reply unashamedly.
" Do I want to know how extensive that is? "
I think of the folder on Eva it's several pages long, and about to get much longer … no … think about that tomorrow...
Taking her hand skimming my lips across her knuckles " Probably not. "
Eva had attended SDSU, because her mother was smothering her, Eva needed distance, she hadn't told her father about Nathan, explaining that justice had been served when he went to prison, telling her father achieved nothing except upset for him.
I disagreed with her here, justice most certainly hadn't been attained, but refused to explain my thoughts, just saying it wasn't a suitable topic whilst eating. Fortunately the food arrived distracting Eva's attention.
I loved watching her eat " You eat with gusto, little moans of pleasure, it's making me hard."
" Your always hard.. " she grins bumping my shoulder in admonishment.
" Your fault.. " I said grinning.
As we were leaving we agreed to go to the gym tomorrow evening Eva suggested her gym to avoid over friendly trainers called Daniel! She was mocking me again.. tut..tut.
" Watch your self, angel or I'll think of a suitable consequence for mocking my possessiveness where your concerned. " The last time I'd warned her about mocking me was over the phone. I'd threatened to spank her ….. on reflection knowing what I now know,that wasn't a good idea. I'd have to think of something else.. no problem I'd enjoy deliberating over the different possibilities.
Once in the car she curled into me, all soft and warm …
" I trust you, " she whispered.
A warmth spread from my chest, tightening my arms around her murmuring into her hair " We're going to be good for each other Eva. "
….
She fell asleep in my arms, we were both naked,that and her close proximity was driving me crazy. I wanted to wake her up and claim her … yet she looked so beautiful in repose I hadn't the heart. Plus she had to be sore, bruised even. I'd never fucked that hard before, no best leave her.
To distract myself I thought back to our earlier conversation, she'd admitted never to have lived with another man apart from Cary. She was just worried that our relationship was moving at too fast a pace. I tried to explain that having a drawer was nothing to worry about I just wanted our relationship to mean more to her than any other.
'I keep thinking it's too good to be true ' she'd whispered.
'May be it is, if so we deserve each other ' I'd pulled her into my arms,' I can't stand the thought that your waiting for this to end, what can I do to make you feel more secure? '
She'd hesitated clearly wary of my reaction … 'will you go to couples therapy with me?'
She'd shocked me, on several levels, was I making such a bad job of it? Plus, therapy..shit..
She saw my reticence 'Just think about it. '
" Am I fucking up that bad? '
Eva had pulled back to look ay me.. " No.. your perfect… just perfect.."
I caught on, it wasn't me. She thought she needed the therapy, with my help.
" I'll do it. I'll go. " Kissing her deeply …. Anything if it made her feel more secure in our relationship … But therapy? Christ Gideon, this is going to be interesting …..
CHAPTER 24 Aftermath.
A draft from the door,a chill runs down my spine. Tensing I listen for the almost silent footsteps approaching the bed. Swallowing quickly I try to contain my fear, if I pretend to be asleep, may be he'll leave me alone ….. I know he won't.. but I'll try anything …. Anything. A hand on my face, my gut roils,
He lifts me off the bed,A small gap of light catches my attention I peek at the door,please someone ….help me? Christopher's there, standing at the door in his striped pyjama's silently watching, no emotion on his face. My eyes silently plead with him,willing him to call for help, Chris please … Turning … he quietly closes the door …..
"Don't.. No. No …please."
I thrash out at him, snarling with anger and hate, hate for him, hate for my brother …. " Get off me..! "
"Get.. off..."
Oh god no.. I know how to end it …. he won't leave me alone until I ….,fisting my cock, I plump hard.. the quicker I do it the sooner this is over … it hurts …
A push on my shoulder,the pain has gone ….. Eva's voice … I only catch part of what she's ….. "Gideon Wake up! "
Eva's screaming, hell what? I jerk upright my eyes frantically searching for Eva. She's here, thank God … she's here.
"What? I gasp, fighting for breath " What is it? "
" Jesus." She sobbed, sliding out of bed grabbing the black silk robe, she is shaking.. " You were having a nightmare. You scared the hell out of me. "
For a second I lay there disorientated, my body drenched in sweat. I looked down at my cock it is a solid mass of purple hued engorged flesh. Impressions of the nightmare fleeted through my mind, I know what I would of been doing, I always did.. Fuck.. she wouldn't understand,I it did to end the torture …
" Eva… " My voice is layered in shame. I can't look at her, humiliation a painful shard in my chest.
"What were you dreaming about? " She's stood by the window as if she needs to be a safe distance away from me.
" I don't know. " I lie, I could feel myself shutting down bit by bit..
" Bullshit. Something's in you, something's eating away at you. What is it? " She persisted.
I feel trapped,what am I suppose to say, I can hear my defensiveness. The shadows of my own conflicted emotions fall over my face, before with great effort regaining impassivity.
" It was just a dream,Eva. People have them. "
There was a long pause " Screw you " she snapped.
" Why are you mad? "
" Because your lying. "
Taking a deep shuddering breath, trying to contain my own anger.. She has no right to ask me these questions.. she may have confronted her own demons, but she'd no right to mine. With my strength of will, I resume my usual facade of impassivity, my voice feigns indifference.
" I'm sorry I woke you. "
" One more time Gideon " She whispers. " What were you dreaming about?"
" I don't remember. " I need to get out of here, otherwise I'm going to blow a fuse. " I've a lot of business on my mind. I'm going to work in my office. Come back to bed, get some sleep."
Eva tugged the belt tighter on her robe. " There were a few right answers to that question Gideon.Let's talk about it tomorrow, would have been one or we'll talk about it over the weekend, even I'm not ready to talk about it, would of been okay. But you've some nerve acting as if you don't know what I'm talking about and making it sound as if I'm being unreasonable."
" Angel…. " I pleaded …
" Don't. " She snapped,wrapping her arms round her body in a protective stance " Do you think it was easy for me tonight to tell you about my past. It hurt, Gideon. It would of been easier to break off with you and date someone less prominent. But I took the risk, I wanted to be with you, may be one day you'll feel the same way about me. "
She swept from the room upset and angry.
" Eva! Eva damn it, come back here. What's wrong with you?"
I lay still for a few moments controlling my emotions, then I hear the ding of the approaching elevator resonating through the quietness of the night air. She is leaving …? Eva …. Shooting up naked I run through the hall to the living room, the doors to the foyer are ajar, Eva was pressing the descent button she's looking straight at me, disappointment written all over her face. We retain eye contact until the doors of the elevator close.
….
I stand for a few moments emotionless, just staring at the closed doors of the elevator, it's a few moments before reality sets in. She's left me.. What I was doing must have disgusted her, that's why she kept asking what the nightmare was about, so she could make sense of it all.. She can't of felt safe.. This thought sickens me.. God I've got her keys! she's only dressed in her silk robe. Quickly I phone the lobby, the doorman had seen Eva into a taxi. Now Cary, if he's not there, I'm gonna have to go round. The phone rings several times before Cary answers " Cary, it's Gideon. Eva is on her way back I still have her keys. "
" No problem, I'm not going anywhere. "
"Thank you, " I said this with feeling 'cause I was beginning to feel a trace of panic in my chest, it hurt, my voice must of relayed some of my distress.
" I'll ensure she's okay, don't worry. "
" She's only wearing a robe,if she's not back soon, phone me." …
The next fifteen minutes were torture, most of it spent frantically phoning Eva, voicemail again and again, eventually my cell buzzed a text ' Home safe. Hope you sleep well the rest of the night '
I tried phoning the landline, I wanted to hear her voice, apologise, anything that would salvage the night, voicemail, every time. The message is clear Gideon, she doesn't want to speak to you ….. She's horrified. A heaviness descends over me emanating from my chest, replacing the earlier panic when she'd left. As you can imagine I am finding it difficult to concentrate, my mind a whirl of tortured images, the nightmare, Eva's questions, her anger, her face as she left … Nathan …
…..
I'd slept through the alarm, I couldn't quite believe it. I never did that.. After much angst and self recriminations I'd eventually crawled back to bed, absolutely positive I would be unable to sleep … Then the memory of last night hit me … No. I wasn't succumbing to this desolation, I'd a lot of ground to make up, sitting here is helping no one, plus it's not me, it's not how I operate. With this internal pep talk in mind, I shut down all facets of emotion,and go to get ready for the day ahead.
…..
"Scott. In my office, now.And call Gus, I need to speak to him, immediately. " I bark.
Issuing orders feels good, I'm back in control..
" Mr. Cross,"
" Phone Richard Stanton's P.A. I want a meeting today, cancel any appointments of mine to accommodate this. If Eva Tramell wishes to speak to me, I don't care what I'm doing or who I'm with put her through immediately. If she needs anything doing, see to it. "
" Yes, sir. "
" Oh, and get a copy of these keys cut. " I pass him Eva's keys, I've added my own key onto the ring.
" Sir, Jonas is wishing to speak to you. There's pictures of you and Miss Tramell, yesterday lunch. " He has a wry smile on his face. I've no doubt he's seen the blog.
Pain courses through me, yesterday lunch … the petty jealousies of mine seems so insignificant in the light of recent revelations.
" I've no time for him, the press can butt out. Tell him I want the pictures though. "
Gus, head of my security enters as Scott withdraws.
" I want a background check and search done on a Nathan Barker."
I give him a brief run down on the little bit of knowledge I know. I don't mention Eva directly.
" Prison? Well that will make it easier to gain information. Has he served his sentence? "
" I don't know. "
" Mr. Cross, is he a security threat to you? "
I take in a deep breath, Gus takes his job seriously, and he's good at it. Not giving him information is like asking him to do his job with one hand tied behind his back. He'll find out anyway, when he runs the searches.
" Not to me directly, he went to prison over Miss Tramell. " I don't elaborate, I don't need to, he can read between the lines.
He nods slowly. " Very well, do you want a security team allocated to her. "
" She'd freak out if I put a close protection unit on her. Have her followed, discreetly, keep a check on her mobile, track it, also, whose calling her. Report back to me her movements. "
…..
I didn't allow myself to look at the news blog, I'd do that later, at home when I am alone … If I'm alone.. Come back Eva.. contact me.. I need you to contact me.. come back on your own volition.. You have to make the decision.. I've chased you Eva... Now I want you to come after me, accept me for who I am …
Chapter 25. Day 1
Richard Stanton had been most obliging, whether he still would be after our conversation is another matter. His elegantly attired P.A is showing me through to his office.
" Mr. Cross this is an unexpected pleasure. " Shaking my hand.
" It's Gideon, may I call you Richard. " Best to begin in a friendly manner, besides I need information, and this guy won't want to give it me. Stanton's an astute guy, he wouldn't be where he is today if he couldn't read people, he notices the serious tone of my voice underneath the friendly greeting.
Frowning for a second before indicating I should take a seat, sitting himself he begins,
" Is there a problem, Gideon. "
I never been one for prevaricating it's a pointless waste of time … " I was with Eva last night, she told me about Nathan Barker….. …"
Stanton sat perfectly still, fists clenched, his jaw a hard taut line... For several seconds he said nothing..
" I can't believe she told you, it's something she never speaks about. " He said grimly. " She spent years in therapy, Monica too, she's never forgiven herself, she blames herself, even though once she did know she removed Eva from danger immediately. "
My respect for Monica Stanton increased, she at least believed her daughter, and had taken action to ensure her safety.No wonder she had tracked Eva's movements I should imagine Monica would have been paranoid over Eva.
" Eva is worried about all the press exposure, keeping our relationship quiet isn't going to be possible, so I need to ensure she's safe. Avoid any unwelcome press exposure or more to the point any contact with this Nathan Barker."
" My head of security,Clancy has done a full risk assessment... "
" Not good enough.. My own team have already recommended Eva has a security officer, at least until we ascertain Barkers whereabouts. "
Stanton wasn't pleased, he wasn't use to someone else giving the orders.
" Eva will object, though I acknowledge for the interim, until we locate where he is it is advisable. "
" I also want from you all the information you have regarding the case, the names of all those who have signed N.D.A. 's, what procedures you've taken to close down information in the public domain."
He positively bristled at this, clearly uncomfortable and annoyed at my demands.
" Are you doing this to protect yourself from adverse publicity? " He snapped.
" No, I don't give a damn about adverse publicity, in as much as it would hurt Eva far more than me. I'm here to secure her safety, to do that I need information. "
He sighed, his eyes boring into mine, assessing whether I was bullshitting him or not.
Exhaling deeply " Very well, I'll have copies couriered over this afternoon. Keep me informed Gideon, especially on his whereabouts, I'm trusting you. "
….
The meeting with Stanton had been awkward, never the less I'd got what I'd wanted.
Back at the office Eva still hadn't been in touch, I am tempted to phone her, ask how she is, may be take her for lunch.. No remembering my resolve, she must come to me.. Plus I had a meeting with Garrity this afternoon,may be then?
My 11.30am appointment had just left, Scott came into the office, "Miss Tramell has just called sir,"
My heart skipped a beat … " She didn't wish to disturb you, however she has asked a favour. Apparently, Magdelene Perez is waiting in W.L.F. reception wishing to speak to her. Miss Tramell asked that we take care of her, I've asked Gus to collect Miss Perez and fetch her here. "
" What the hell does she want? " I sigh... " Send her in when she arrives. "
I'm on the phone when Maggie is shown in, she behaves like an errant school girl, refusing to look directly at me, fidgeting in her seat. Finishing the call I give her my full attention.
" Maggie..? "
"I don't know why you've got me here Gideon, I didn't come to see you. "Her voice is soft, yet defensive.
" No, however it's me you'll be dealing with. Why.. Maggie? what can you possibly have to say to Eva? "
" I wanted to apologise.. you know.. for what I said "
I didn't quite believe her, it was a half truth, though what she actually had in mind I'd no idea … Hmm.. she has seen the video on the net. And those pictures of Eva and Cary.
" So you thought you'd disturb Eva at work? "
" Seems as good a place as any. "
" Look Maggie I want you to leave Eva alone, I'm sure an opportunity will occur at one of the social functions if you still wish to apologise."
" Okay, I…. "
" Forget it Maggie, just do as I ask. " ….
….
I didn't think my day could get any worst …. Gus is on the line..
" Mr Cross, an update on miss Tramell. She's just gone to the local deli for lunch, accompanied by Mr Christopher Vidal. "
I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Fury rolled over me, I'd damn well warned him..
It is very tempting to storm over there and knock the shit out of him … tempting but not wise.. I'll be paying my brother a visit after work and I'm looking forward to it!
….
Trying to concentrate on work, when in reality I planning my meeting tonight, Scott interrupts my violent musings.
" Mr Vidal to see you, sir " His voice is always hesitant when a member of my family calls, more often than not I refuse to see them, too busy..
Not today though …..
Christopher saunters into the room wearing the usual casual designer fashion wear these music executives favour, his ease and smug smile did nothing to improve my temper. The door closed.
" What the fuck have you been doing? I told you to stay away from her. " I hissed, fury pulsating from every pore.
His eyes widened in surprise, a flash of fear, quickly hidden. holding his hands up in appeasement.
"It's not what it looks like Gideon. Just.. let me explain. "
I just glare at him, raising my eyebrows when he remains silent.
" Mum sent me over, to see you and Eva, I bumped into her at the entrance … She invited me..to the deli.. Mom wanted to...well you know she's seen the lastest blog on you and Eva."
" Tell her to mind her own fucking business. "
He scrabbles for words, most un Christopher like. There again I don't think he's ever seen me so furious, my anger is usually cold, not raging hot like I'm feeling now.
" Sunday, " He produces an envelope," Garden party for Vidal Records."
" I don't need a fucking invitation to my own company's advertising event." I quietly growl.
" You know it's more than that Gideon, we would all like to see you there, you very rarely make an appearance, and with Eva….." "
Tilting my head to one side I snigger, raising one eyebrow, questioning his statement. My brother never wanted me any where, so less of the 'we '.
"It would mean a lot to mum and dad. " He mumbled.
Better, more honest at least.
" We won't be going.. neither of us, " I state flatly. " Don't forget what I said about Eva. Now I'm busy, go. " I order.
…..
Scott has returned the keys, two sets. I hope to be passing Eva's to her in the meeting due to start in minutes. I have the CCTV images on one of the screens,focused on floor 20 of course.
Oh hell, Garrity's on his own..
Pulling an envelope forward placing the keys within, I write a small note ' Thank you, Eva. For everything. ' I'll give Garrity the keys to pass on …..
Chapter 26 Day 2
Last night was purgatory, I'd worked as late as possible though the impetus I had through the day setting everything in motion regarding Eva, had dissipated once Garrity had left.
What is Eva thinking? Garrity will have given her the envelope. Has she noticed the extra key on the key ring. Damn may be I should of enclosed a note regarding my key.... These thoughts and many other s kept me awake. I was eventually too tired to make sense of my musings and must of eventually fell into a nightmare riddled sleep, waking drenched in sweat, desperately searching the room for Eva. The nightmare was inevitable, Stanton had kept his promise,Eva's file had contained transcripts of the trial plus the medical report from the hospital, it's a gruesome read. The abuse Eva suffered was horrendous. Nathan is an odious miscreant showing no remorse what so ever.
Copies of all the N.D.A.'s were there, it became apparent that while ever Nathan is alive, Stanton has managed to contain all avenues of possible leakages of information to the press. Even the money Eva received, Stanton has placed in holding companies names, no wonder my background search never unearthed Eva's wealth ….. Stanton has done well, he's protected Eva, probably far more than she realises..
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