I was about to cross the door to the corridor when Mikey stopped me, grabbing my shoulder.
"Gee, wait. I only wanted to make you think of it a little more, see if you were really sure of what you were about to do. Put the situation into words to make you hear the bare truth. Now I know you are decided and I'm not going to object to it. I'm proud of you, I really am. Even though I still think you're crazier than that boy." he said in a tender brotherly way this time.
"Thank you, lil' bro!" I chuckled and gave him a hug.
"Oh and Gerard, what do you think about all the missing pages and information in his ID?"
"I bet his mother had something to do with it, though I'm not sure of why she'd go that far. I'll find out some way." I answered and headed for the bathroom.
Finding some clean clothes and underwear in my bag, I placed them on the toilet seat. I turned on the shower and mixed cold water with just a tiny bit of hot to get the perfect temperature. I got naked slowly, my dusty clothes discharged in a pile on the floor.
Getting in the bathtub, I let my tired body receive the stream as a blessing. I allowed the water to run along my hair down to my feet, closing my eyes and tossing my head back. It wasn't until several minutes later that I started to actually clean myself; inhaling the herbal shampoo my mother had always loved, feeling the creamy white soap on my skin.
I got out reluctantly when I remembered the others must be waiting for me to have dinner.
I was almost ready, just drying my head with a towel still bare-chested. Before I could get my t-shirt I heard Alicia scream in the living room.
"FRANKIE, NO! THAT'S NOT THE..."
I freaked out and ran there in a hurry, fearing the worst. But what I saw there, at least without going further into it, was more funny than anything else. Frankie was standing in a corner peeing inside of one of my mom's big decorated vases. Alicia was walking towards him but I stopped her.
"Let him finish." I whispered. Once I saw Frankie zip his jeans I approached him. He looked bemused and was scratching his head, but he smiled at me.
"W-why was she s-screaming?"
"Because...he saw you peeing there."
"Wh-what?"
"She saw you peeing in something that wasn't the toilet..." I continued. He thought for some seconds.
"Y-yes it w-was."
"No, Frankie..."
"Y-YES IT WAS!"
Alicia took his hand and walked him to the vase.
"This is what you used, see? What is it?" she talked to him like one would speak to a little kid.
"A...a v-vase. B-big one." he assured. And now I was the confused one. But then he added: "B-BUT I D-DIDN'T PEE IN H-HERE, NO I D-DIDN'T. N-NO. I...I DID IN THE B-BATHROOM!"
I considered it was enough of trying to make him see the truth, even more in one of his worst nights so far.
"It's ok, it's ok. It doesn't matter. I wouldn't get mad anyway. But let's do something: if you need to go to the bathroom, you tell me or whoever is with you and we'll guide you there. Yes?"
"O-ok. B-but it was a t-toilet I s-swear."
"I know, I believe you. But just in case."
"Did I understand well? He..." I covered Mikey's mouth with my hand before he could speak it all.
"Yes, that old vase is too dirty and needs to be washed, what I'll do right now." Alicia told him, lifting the object. Passing Mikey by, she kissed him briefly. He grinned and then looked into the thing his girlfriend was holding.
"Ewww. Next time I'll find a crap on my bed! I better go finish dinner."
"M-my boyfriend n-never wanted me to k-kiss him l-like that. N-never kissed me e-either. N-no. I w-wanted to k-kiss like in m-movies. C-can you do th-that with a-another boy?" Frankie startled me. I didn't know he was still standing behind me. I remembered he had told me about a boyfriend before, and how they didn't do many things boyfriends do. I smiled imagining how naive their relationship probably was if they wouldn't even kiss.
"Yes, Frankie! Two boys can kiss like in movies too. Maybe he wasn't ready for kissing. Did you...hold hands?"
"N-nope, no h-holding hands. And I'd l-like that t-too." he took one of mine. I wanted to find out more because he had gotten me intrigued once again, but he wasn't paying attention. He was staring, but not at my face this time.
"S-smooth..." he uttered, running his other hand along my chest.
"Oh fuck! Al!" I called her.
"Yes?" she reappeared.
"Can you stay with him again? Just one minute, I need to put my t-shirt on. Now." I disappeared without waiting for an answer.
Alicia, Frankie and I were watching cartoons when Mikey announced that dinner was ready.
"G-good I'm s-so hungry!" Frank got up quickly.
"Me too! Come with me!" I told him with my hand on his shoulder. We walked to the kitchen and sat around the small square table. My brother had already served our plates. Alicia took the bottle and poured Coke in our glasses, and I noticed Frank's was plastic. Mikey must not have trusted him with glass, and I thought it had been a good idea after all.
After putting some grated cheese on my spaghetti, I thrust my fork into them, hunger getting the best of me. But then I saw Frankie in the corner of my eye. His hair was on his face so I didn't know how he could even see. His hands were trembling pretty badly, making it hard for him to get the food into his fork and up to his mouth without it falling on the way.
"Frankie? Let me help you." I offered. First I adjusted his hair behind his ears. When I was going to take the fork from his hand he resisted.
"N-no."
"I can help you, really. You don't have to be ashamed. Your hands..."
"I...I c-can do it by m-myself, I'm u-used to it, s-sometimes it's a l-lot worse." he said. He was a strong boy indeed. But there was something I didn't understand.
"Oh...ok, but then you've always had this problem? I mean...the tremble in your hands? Even being at the institution?" I had thought it was because he wasn't taking his pills.
"Y-yep and w-worse. Y-yes. G-grace said it's b-because of the m-meds." he responded. So, it seemed he still had the effects even though he hadn't taken them for some days.
"Ouch...poor baby." Alicia said from the heart.
I thought about how he had also to suffer from the medication and I felt a lot worse for him. On the other hand I felt admiration, because in spite of all Frankie smiled most of time, he enjoyed life, he'd try to adapt to his problems as much as he could. Meanwhile I, fucking selfish bastard, had had suicidal thoughts more than once. The last one minutes before meeting him. I had never been religious, but that kid seemed heaven sent.
"Are you sure you can, then?" I questioned Frank again.
"Y-yes but c-can I have another f-fork?"
"Sure." I gave him what he requested and waited to see what he'd do with it. He grabbed one fork on each full hand, the way a kid who's just learning would do. Then he started to pick the spaghetti with both forks at the same time, nearing his mouth to the plate so not many would fall. The rest of us looked at each other smiling.
"That's a very good method." Mikey commented. Frank grinned, the lower part of his face covered in tomato sauce.
"Mikey, you and mom are a good cooking couple! This tastes delicious!" I told him.
"Oh well, coming from you that's a great compliment!" he laughed.
"What are you saying? That I'm a bad brother who never tells you when you do something well?" I joked. Though it was true that sometimes I wasn't too demonstrative with him.
"Uh...I wouldn't say never but..."
"I know, I know. I'll try to include that in my changing plans!"
"Good." he simply answered.
"G-gee...could you h-help me d-drink? Th-the glass is too f-full and I'm g-gonna spill it." Frank whispered to me, cleaning himself with his napkin.
"Course!" I took the red plastic glass and brought it to his almost red lips. I couldn't help staring at them, the way they wrapped around the edge of the cup. I obliged myself to remove my eyes, it would make me look perverted. Frank pulled away his mouth.
"Th-thanks."
After dinner I thought it was a good time for Frank to take a bath. Alicia offered to prepare the bathtub for him but I decided a shower would be safer. I got all ready and borrowed a t-shirt from Mikey, since Frankie had nothing comfortable enough to sleep with. I was going to fetch him when I remembered something. Grabbing a shoe box from my closet I put into it everything found in the bathroom that could be harmful in Frank's hands. I ended up filling the box, just to be sure, and placed it on top of the closet.
Finally I called him, and he came with some black boxers in his hand.
"Well, everything's ready. I turned on the shower and it's at a good temperature. I'll leave the door semi opened and wait outside. So anything you need just call me, ok?"
"O-okay! Uh G-gerard?"
"Yes?"
"D-don't you wanna c-come shower with m-me?" he smiled innocently, eyes shining under his long locks. Having been caught off guard, I started to play with a forgotten coin in my pocket nervously.
"Uh no thanks. I've already taken a shower, remember?"
"Oh...y-yeah..." he trailed off. "I...I'm going th-then."
I didn't know what to think. What did those insinuations mean?
I sat on the floor of the corridor next to the bathroom door to be at hand if Frank needed something. But he appeared to be doing fine. I could hear him sing once in a while, but I couldn't figure out the songs. In another moment he spoke as if he was having a conversation. I could understand something about 'washing yourself well behind the ears and between your ass cheeks.' and I laughed at that.
When I was close to falling asleep against the wall, Frank opened the door and stepped out. His hair was dripping water and Mikey's white t-shirt looked like a dress on him, making him look even smaller.
As soon as we were back in the living room, Alicia went for a towel and dried Frank's hair. After that she brushed it, being careful not to cause any pain. He complained a lot nevertheless.
"Ready for bed?" I invited him.
"Y-yeah.
"Where is he gonna sleep?" Alicia questioned.
"In my bed, it's prepared. But I was thinking that I'll have to sleep with him. It's the only way to know if he gets up or something and be able to sleep myself."
"I think you're right." she half-giggled, winking.
"Al...please." I warned her. I knew what she was thinking, and it was far from the truth. I had no other intentions than what I had just told her. "You staying?"
"Yes...I think. Can I, Mikey?"
"It's not like my mom never found you sleeping with me before." Mikey noted.
"Good night to both of you, then." I told them.
"G-good night!" Frankie said too.
"Night, boys! Alicia and I will stay a little longer watching some movies. We promise to keep the volume low."
"Good night, Gerard! Night, Frankie boy!" she kissed us both and ran to the couch.
In my room, I realised I hadn't changed my clothes. I didn't want to do it in front of Frank, and leaving him alone wasn't a good idea. I opted for just taking off my jeans and sleeping in the t-shirt I was wearing.
"W-wow! B-batman sh-sheets!" Frank exclaimed.
"Like them?"
"Y-yes! Uhm n-no you go sleep on the f-floor, Puppy!" he suddenly talked to his dog.
"He can sleep at our feet, I don't mind." I affirmed. Frank climbed the bed and started jumping.
"G-good, good, g-good! N-no you sh-shut up! IT...IT'S M-MY DOG!" he stopped and screamed, sitting on the bed and swinging his body.
"Frankie, let's sleep. You'll feel better tomorrow, you've had some hard days." I got into the bed and opened the sheets for him to get in too. He didn't move, still balancing and murmuring. I touched his arm softly.
"Frankie?" he raised his head. "Come on..."
He got on his knees and hands, moved towards me and got under the sheets.
"Good night, Frankie." I kissed his forehead. He was contemplating the ceiling.
I had already closed my eyes when I felt an arm across my chest. Next, soft humid lips grazed my left cheek, sending shivers down my spine.
"G-good night, Gee." a not so childish voice said. He then placed his head under my chin, sighing contently. I felt him shake slightly against my body for a long while, keeping me from sleeping. Luckily, he eventually relaxed, defeated by fatigue. I let my mind drift into unconsciousness, hoping for a good night of rest at last.
CHAPTER 10
If it's the thought that counts, you can always count on me,
I think about it all the time.
It's going to hit me like a bolt of white lightning.
Here it comes, my peace of mind.
I woke up and slowly opened my eyes. I had slept so deeply and uninterruptedly that I couldn't tell how much time had passed by. Enough, I thought, since I felt completely rested. Frankie must not have moved much during the night, or if he had I never noticed.
Glancing at the shutters, I perceived a ray of light filtering. I checked my alarm clock and saw it was 7:30. Thinking of how quiet Frank was, I turned on the lamp to look at his side of the mattress. He was not there. First fucking day and I had already failed to notice him sneaking out.
I jumped off the bed, cursing myself as I put my jeans on. I searched inside each room until I got to the kitchen, where Mikey and Alicia were having breakfast before leaving for college. Mikey, Alicia...and Frankie. He was sitting next to the girl with a big bowl of milk and cereals in front of him, eating noisily. Looking closer I saw Frank's hair was tied up with a pink strip.
"Good morning, kids!" I greeted them.
"Morning!" the couple answered with one voice. Frank got up and tiptoed to kiss my cheek.
"G-good morning, G-gerard!"
I kissed his forehead, smiling.
"Why didn't you call me when you got up?"
"Uh I...I d-didn't know." he said. He was right, I hadn't told him to do it.
"It doesn't matter, go and finish your cereals."
"O-ok." he nodded and went back to the table.
"How long has he been up? I don't know how I didn't sense him leaving the bed..." I asked them, still blaming myself even though everything was fine.
"Not more than fifteen minutes, actually. I found him entranced by the corridor's mirror, talking to it. So I took him to the bathroom, helped him choose some clothes and brought him here." Alicia explained.
"Gerard, don't beat yourself over it. You were exhausted, that's why you didn't realise he got up." Mikey added.
"Yeah, I guess so. Oh Alicia...why is that pink thing on Frankie's hair?" I questioned and she giggled.
"Oh, don't be mean! It was getting into the bowl and that pink thing was the only thing I had at hand. Maybe you should have his hair cut?"
"N-NO!" Frank screamed.
"Oh wow! It seems the kid likes his hair too much!" Mikey laughed. "Come on, Frankie, there's nothing wrong with getting it cut. Besides...you kinda look like a girl the way you have it now."
"Mikey, leave him alone, it's his hair!" his girlfriend stopped him.
"I...I D-DON'T FUCKING C-CARE! N-NO ONE WILL T-TOUCH MY H-HAIR, I L-LIKE IT!"
Throwing a piece of bread at Mikey's face, I sat next to Frank and hugged him.
"Frankie, Mikey's just joking with you. No one will touch your hair if you don't want to. You're a grown boy so that's only your decision. I'd never make you do it against your will, do you trust me?" I spoke. Frank looked at me, catching his breath. He'd get really agitated when angry.
"Y-yes."
"Good, then. And if Mikey gets annoying again I'll kick his ass." I promised. Frankie laughed and I could hear my brother mumble.
Grabbing another bowl from the cupboard, I prepared some cereal for myself. Alicia and Mikey had already finished and were getting his stuff together.
"Hey Mikes, why is mom not at home?" I realised she should have by then.
"She called half an hour ago. The nurse who was going to replace her was sick, so they asked her to stay. And she was gonna go for something to eat with her friends after that."
"Oh ok, guess I'll have to come visit her some other time then."
"Can't you wait?" Mikey frowned.
"I prefer not to. I want to go home as soon as possible, there are many things I need to organize. Don't mention anything about Frankie to her yet, I'll do myself." I told him.
"If you say so..."
"Alicia, can we talk for a minute...in private?" I asked her. "Mikey, please watch Frankie."
"But...but he's angry at me, he..."
"Just keep an eye on him and call me if there's any problem."
"Ok, ok." he said not yet convinced.
I took Alicia's wrist and guided her to my room.
"What do you wanna talk about, Gee?" she inquired. "Oh...I know...about what I said last night, right? Well, what I wrote." she smirked.
"Exactly. Look...that wasn't the first time Frank acted weird towards me. A couple of times in the car I...I could have sworn he was trying to seduce me."
"Oh wow, really?"
"Yes...his voice kinda changes sometimes, like he's 'playing sexy'. He almost kissed me on the mouth once. And he has told me he likes me very much. And remember when I ran to put on my shirt?"
"Haha yes, I do."
"Frank was staring at my bare chest, and then touched it and said 'smooth'. What the fuck? He's confusing me so much, because then he goes back to acting like a child!"
"Well Gerard, I guess that's normal for someone who is mentally ill. The changes, I mean. But I do think he's falling in love with you. I can see it. We women have a sixth sense, you know?"
"I know..." I rolled my eyes. "Oh fuck..." The situation was scaring me.
"And what do you feel? And don't tell me about how it would be wrong or any other excuse. Forget about his condition. What do you feel for him?" she interrogated me.
"W-what? I'm not gay, Al!" I defended myself. I had never given her reasons to think that. I had broken up with my girlfriend a couple of months ago.
"Oh come on, Gee. Told you, sixth sense. I'm not accusing you, but I've always thought there's something else that you haven't told us. You didn't seem to be in love with Laura, even though she was a nice girl. Something else was bothering you after you broke up with her."
"Alicia...I don't wanna talk about that."
"It's ok, I wasn't going to make you tell me. But don't close yourself to a new possibility."
"But Frank is..." I cut my words, realising I'd be nearly confessing my feelings without wanting it. She gave me a smile of knowledge.
"You'd have to be extra careful and take things very slowly, sure. But it's not impossible. Give it time, see how he acts from now on. Don't completely push him away. This could be good for both of you, who knows?" she continued, her hand on my shoulder.
"Thanks." I told her. "Now we better go back there, Mikey wasn't too happy."
"Oh he just loves to complain, don't mind him!"
In the kitchen everything was in order. Frankie was sitting on the floor, looking at the wall and laughing while Mikey read some notes.
"I have no idea what he's doing there, but it didn't seem dangerous so I let him be." he informed us without raising his eyes from the paper.
"You did well Mikes, don't worry."
"Well, we better be going, it's already late!" Alicia rushed him.
"Bye, sweetness! I promise to visit you soon, be a good boy." she told Frank kissing both his cheeks. He took off the pink strip and gave it back to her.
"B-bye!"
"You can keep it if you want." Alicia offered.
"N-nah, like it l-loose!"
"You're right, so much better!"
"Bye Frankie!" Mikey touched Frank's head. He avoided him.
"N-no bye to y-you, you're m-mean. I...I'm s-still angry. P-puppy doesn't l-like you either!!" he spat. My brother eyed me, looking for help. I had to make an effort to contain the laughter.
"Your fault, Mikes!"
After they left, I collected mine and Frank's things making sure I wasn't forgetting anything. In the meantime, he was crawling around the living room, rolling on over the carpet, and throwing Puppy something for the dog to seek and bring back to him. I hadn't seen what the thing exactly was, but got curious after a while of hearing Frankie congratulate his pet. Whatever he was throwing, was surely not going back; so why the congratulations?
"Hey Frankie, it seems your doggie's well trained! What are you making him seek?"
"Th-this rubber b-ball!" he showed me his right hand forming a 'c'. An imaginary ball that his imaginary dog would always bring back.
"Nice! Well kiddo, time to go home, take your bag and puppy." I announced opening the front door.
"Y-yay! I...I w-wanna see your h-house!" he jumped, ready in two seconds.
" Your house too, now." I grabbed his hand as I turned the key.
"C-cool."
I did love driving. I'd usually enjoy it. But after all the days I had spent doing it, my car wasn't the best sight. At that moment I wished with all my might that I was able to teleport. But, knowing my wish wouldn't be granted, I opened my too-warm-for-summer machine's door and we got in.
For the first part of the ride Frankie was mostly quiet, stroking and kissing his dog. Then he bended, like leaving Puppy on the floor.
"H-he wanted to sleep th-there." he commented.
"That's because it's too hot for him to sleep on your lap." I tried an explanation just to converse with him. But by the moment I concluded my phrase, Frank's face had changed and he didn't seem to hear me.
"N-nowhere. Th-there, right? J-jumping. N-no. Or...y-yes. Is it?" he put some words together that didn't make any sense, like I had heard him do some other times before. He kept looking at me as if waiting for an answer. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but there was nothing I could say; so I assented with my head.
"O-ok then." he said, apparently contented. I was grateful that Frankie's incoherent talk stopped there. I knew I'd have to get used to it, but it wasn't something I was willing to endure to be honest.
"Y-you looked so p-pretty while you w-were sleeping." he spoke as I stopped the car at a traffic light. His voice was something in between shy and provocative. But it could also be my mind playing tricks on me.
"I'm not pretty, Frankie. Not awake, nor sleeping." I retorted.
"Y-yes you a-are! Y-you are so so h-handsome." there it was that word again. "I r-really like you, G-gee." he added in a whisper.
"Uh...thanks." was the only thing I could think of.
After a while of not hearing any sound I took a look at Frank. His mouth was moving but I couldn't hear anything, at least not among the roar of the car's engine. One hand was open against the window and the other was...rubbing his crotch nonchalantly.
"Frankie...what are you doing?" I felt obviously uncomfortable. He turned to me with a puzzled look.
"N-nothing...." he answered with innocence that wasn't faked. I signaled down.
"O-oh...I...d-didn't...s-sorry n-no..." he withdrew his hand. I was able to see a noticeable bulge in his pants.
"It's ok. Just...not here, you know?" I tried to keep my eyes off the view.
"Y-yeah." he responded. I wasn't sure if he had understood what I was talking about.
Not even two minutes had passed when I heard Frankie fidget in his seat. I slowly looked and saw that he was, again, jacking off through his jeans. But strange as it might sound, there didn't seem to be any second intention in it. He wasn't doing that in front of me on purpose, I knew that. He didn't seem to realise what he was doing or remember I was there. He was evidently acting by instinct to a necessity. I didn't dare to interrupt him again, maybe he wouldn't even comprehend what wrong he had done.
I didn't want to watch, I tried to keep my eyes on the road. But it was tempting, and I caught myself staring once in a while. At first Frank's face wasn't mirroring his action. He was looking through the window, murmuring to himself. When the pace become quicker his breath accompanied. Finally, he was bucking his hips and he threw his head back, whimpering slightly.
His climax coincided with the next traffic light, and luckily no other car was close to us. I admired his face, transformed by pleasure. His eyes shut, eyelids fluttering, mouth semi opened. While staring, I didn't exactly think in a sexual way. I thought of how beautiful Frank was. How he, after all, wasn't a kid. His mind could be confused, by his body knew better. And sure, he was 'hot'. Many women and men would have said that. But for me, calling Frank 'hot' sounded disrespectful. And not only because of his mental condition. Also because he was much more than that. A word with such a sexual connotation seemed far-fetched.
Maybe it was my way of thinking which kept me from getting hard myself, and I was glad of that. It would have felt wrong.
Frank had finished and was panting, still absentminded.
"G-gee?" he said some minutes later.
"Yes?"
"I...uhm...I th-think I wet my p-pants." he confessed. I felt tempted to ask him what had happened to test if he had consciousness of it. But whether he knew or not, I might make him feel embarrassed.
"No problem, we'll be home in around half an hour so you'll be able to change." I smiled, reassuring. He nodded.
"D-do you like e-elephants?" he interrogated me, childishly again.
"Yes I do, why?"
"C-cause some are f-following us. S-see?" he pointed back.
"It's true! Is that bad?"
"Th-they're not b-bad but c-could be bad if...if they c-crushed us! G-go faster p-please?" Frankie pleaded, a little scared. I wasn't going fast at all at the moment, so I accelerated as he wanted.
"W-we're safe n-now." he sighed alleviated.
As we stepped into my garden, Frank took a look around.
"I...I l-like it but w-why don't you h-have any p-plants?"
"I've never had the patience for them. But if you want, we can get some in the future and you'll take care of them." I proposed him. That could even be a good kind of 'therapy' for him, something to keep him occupied and make him feel useful.
"Y-yeah I'd l-like that." he answered, though once again he wasn't showing much emotion. "Th-they let us p-plant flowers s-sometimes where I I-lived."
"You liked it?"
"Y-yes. I...I d-did." he continued in that same dull tone.
My house was small and simple, just the necessities. Upon entering you had the living room with just one couch that fit three people. In front of it the TV and DVD player and a wooden coffee table in between. Against the wall, a six-shelved cane shelving full of books and CDs. Then there was the kitchen with a very narrow cupboard, three drawers next to the stove and a round red table with four chairs. My room only featured a king-sized bed (first thing I had bought when I started earning my own money), an old oak wardrobe my grandma had granted me, and a chair that served as nightstand.
It was enough for me, and I hoped it'd be for Frankie too. He was smiling as we got into the house, his eyes roaming through each room, taking in every detail. Probably wanting to memorize every inch of what was going to be his home from now on.
After he got changed and we had lunch -thanks to my reserve of cheese noodles- I took a look around. Everything was covered in dust since I hadn't been there for almost a week. Even before that I hadn't been in the mood for cleaning.
"Frankie, would you like to help me clean the house? You don't have to, of course." I asked him, seeing him catch invisible flying bugs.
"Y-yeah, c-could be f-fun!"
He shared the task with me for a long while until he lost interest and asked me to turn on the TV for him. He told me the ones they had at the institution were out of reach, so he hadn't learned how to operate them.
"Why are you sat on the table instead of the couch, Frankie?"
"TV's t-too small, c-can't see from th-there." he explicated.
"And could you see the ones they had where you lived?" I was thinking of how high they'd put the TVs in those places.
"N-not anymore, b-but Grace let me w-watch hers s-sometimes. Y-yes"
"Let's do something." I dragged the TV as close to the couch as the cord allowed. Frank dropped himself into it again.
"Better now?"
"Y-yes, better. Th-thanks!"
Дата добавления: 2015-11-04; просмотров: 19 | Нарушение авторских прав
| <== предыдущая лекция | | | следующая лекция ==> |