Frank felt totally comfortable with his dad. As far as I knew from my in-depth interrogations with Frankie, they hadn't encountered any major problem while spending time with each other. It also helped that the boy had been having some favorable weeks and was in a good mood most of the time. You never knew how much it would last, but it'd been suitable for Tony's first real experience as a father.
The fourth day Anthony asked if I was okay with Greg staying with them. Not without some reservations, I accepted. Tony loved him and had known him for years. He would never let anyone near Frank that he didn't completely trust, not even if that someone was his boyfriend.
******
I had a nice surprise waiting for me when I left the store that afternoon. Anthony and Greg were there with Frankie -his hair neatly combed in a ponytail.
"Hello!" I greeted them all and then hugged Frankie, not letting him kiss my lips since Sarah could be watching. "You look so good, baby!"
"D-dad tied my h-hair 'cause...'c-cause we're going to the p-park and s-said hair would b-bother me in...in the p-playground." Frankie informed me.
"Oh, it's an invitation then?"
"Yes...if you're not too tired." Anthony smiled, his eyes pleading more than Frankie's.
"Not at all, let's go!"
The park wasn't far, so we got there in no more than fifteen minutes. It had a well kept, big playground surrounded by green. Frankie and I visited it once in a while and stayed until some annoying parent appeared. Idiotic as it sounded, there was always someone who would complain that Frankie was too old to be there. Although conscious himself that other boys his age didn't go to those places, Frank couldn't help loving them and eying the play area enthralled every time we passed it by. Why should he be denied it? I told him to pay no mind to those comments, but they tended to bring him down and he'd end up asking me to leave.
"S-slide first!" Frank shouted, freeing himself from our hands and running towards the device.
"Oh, fuck." I darted after him, being closely followed by Anthony and Greg. Frankie fell down two times, but got up in seconds and resumed his race. Though habituated to the medication by now, he was anyhow clumsy for moments when it came to running. He didn't have great control of his body when moving faster.
"Frankie! How many times do I have to tell you to not run away on your own?" I caught him by the waist.
"S-sorry, got t-too happy." he smiled. "C-can I go now?"
"Shouldn't someone go up with him just in case he gets dizzy or something?" Tony asked.
"Yes, I always do that, another reason why he should have waited..." I glanced at Frankie reproachingly.
"S-said I was s-sorry, don't be a...p-pain in the ass, G-gerard! On-only got kinda d-dizzy once, anyway!"
"That's enough to be careful, kiddo." Anthony remarked. "You go with him, Gerard, since you're the second youngest one here."
I climbed the ladder leading to the top of the slide behind Frankie, instructing him to wait until the kids before him were out of the way. He slid down laughing like one of them; his father standing on a side watchfully, ready to act if needed. He had developed my same concern about Frankie hitting his head. His brain was already weak and working with 'reduced equipment' -as Goldberg had once easily explained it. A new blow to the head could be more serious for him than it normally would for anybody. Our overprotection would sometimes irritate Frankie, but he understood when presented the reasons.
After several repetitions, Frank went for the climbing structure. It wasn't one of those sophisticated, huge ones; just two tall, parallel iron arches crossed by bars and painted black and yellow.
Greg and I sat on a near bench to enjoy the view of father and son spending time together. Anthony would lift Frankie so he could reach the top bars and then subtly hold him while the youngest Iero essayed his pirouettes. Soon, there were at least five children asking Anthony for help too. Things got more complicated when Frankie -together with the kids- decided to escalate the structure from the outside and cross to the other side of it. It resulted in Tony having to put everybody down when the improvised alpinists realised that they would end up head down and felt the vertigo. Finally, the children's parents suspiciously sneaked them out of there and Frankie said it wasn't fun anymore.
While strolling around, chatting and laughing, we walked by a group of young boys showing off their bikes on the path that bordered the playground. They stopped to look at us and instantly threw a list of nasty epithets at Frankie; including the classic 'retard' and others like 'fatty weirdo' or 'four-eyed freak'. Anthony abstained from taking measures this time, just tightening the grip around his son's shoulders and kissing his forehead. I whispered to my boyfriend to not listen as he gave my hand a squeeze. Greg, instead, enforced his killing glare method and that was the end of the mockery.
******
"T-tell someone to l-leave?" Frankie begged us in front of the swings which were all occupied.
"We can't do that, son. You have to wait, that's what everybody does." Anthony answered.
"B-but...but wh-what if they never g-get tired and we h-have to go?"
"I don't think that will happen, and if it did then we'd come again some other day." I calmed him.
"Sorry," a woman who was checking on her daughter said. "but to start with, he's too old to be here, so the least you can do is let all the real kids use the swings first."
"Hey! I...I'm r-real too, as..." my hand censured Frankie just in time.
" Sorry, " Anthony imitated the woman's bitter tone. "but I don't see any sign with an age limit here, so my son has the same rights as everybody else."
"I don't think many parents would agree to that." she spat and gave her back to us.
A younger lady brought his little boy's swing to a halt and spoke in his ear. I paid attention, suspecting another similar discriminatory case, but I was proved wrong when the kid beckoned at Frankie.
"You can have mine, I come here every day."
"Th-thanks!" Frankie squealed, getting on his knees to kiss his benefactor's cheek. Frank's contagious, wide smile when he sat on the swing was mirrored by the young mother. She waved him goodbye and walked away with her son.
The first odious woman and her daughter disappeared the moment Frank took his place beside them, and a slightly older girl made her appearance. She came speeding and shouting 'mine!' and gave her father -who was watching from afar- a thumbs up when she reached her goal. She studied Frankie who was giggling and kicking his legs, being moderately impulsed by Tony.
"Hey, wanna race? But...you gotta go higher." she invited, treating him as if he was her age. Frank looked at her dumbfounded.
"Uh...d-dunno if they'll l-let me."
"Why?"
"'C-cause I can f-fall." Frankie replied softly.
"No you won't!" she insisted and then tugged at Tony's sleeve. "You're his dad, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Can he swing higher?"
"Let's see..." Iero stood in front of his son."...show me your hands."
"Th-they're fine." Frank raised them.
"Ok. Just for a while, and you have to hold yourself very tightly. If you don't feel fine scream and I'll stop you, ok?"
"K-kay." he nodded. Anthony drove the swing as far back as his arms permitted and released it.
"No, that's against the rules! You have to do it yourself!" the girl stared at Frank with her hands on her hips.
"I d-don't know how..." Frankie expressed timidly. "W-was never al-allowed on swings m-much."
"Oh..." she bit her lip, pensive and a little sad. "...no problem, you're very cute so I'll teach you how, ok? What's your name?"
"F-frankie." he responded, flushed.
"I'm Mel." she offered her hand and Frankie shook it, smiling again. "So, copy what I'll do."
"K-kay."
Mel was a good, patient teacher and Frankie eventually got the handle of it. From then on they swung higher and higher, screaming for the sake of it. Suddenly, Frankie went silent for some seconds until he yelled again, only this time he asked for help.
"S-STOP, STOP IT OR I'M G-GONNA PUKE!"
"Here you are." Greg used his strength to trap the wooden seat at mid flight. "Are you ok, Frankie?"
"Y-yeah, think s-so." he breathed deeply. "J-just...got d-dizzy and th-though I'd puke but not an-anymore."
"We better go sit for a while." I took his hand and moved him off the swing.
"Y-yeah. B-bye, Mel! Th-thank you for b-being so nice to m-me."
"Welcome! Bye Frankie, hope to see you again." it was Frank who received the kiss this time, Mel tiptoeing to reach him.
"You got yourself a little girlfriend, now?" I prodded him.
"Wh-what? N-NO! I...I d-don't like g-girls that way and...and she's on-only little, you d-dumb!" he shoved me, truly offended.
"Frankie...it was a joke, baby!"
"I d-don't like those j-jokes. Y-you are my b-boyfriend, Gee! Y-you and n-no one else!" he sniffed.
"I know love, I'm sorry. I'm happy that you made a friend, though." I held him until he relaxed, which told me he had forgiven me.
"C-can I have c-cotton candy?"
"We all will!" Anthony declared. "You two stay here, Greg and I will go get them."
We sat on the bench and talked about how much fun we had, while watching the sun that was beginning to set. The light blue of the sky was mixed with pink and yellow, and there were no clouds in sight. It had been a rather warm day, although the increasing cold wind reminded us that it was fall, and night wouldn't take long to come.
Someone coughed at our back, making us both turn our heads. The person wasn't there anymore, but I could distinguish the side of a sadly familiar face as the guy quickened his steps.
"Fucking stalker..." I mumbled.
"Wh-what?"
"Nothing, Frankie, don't mind me. Look, here come our cotton candies!" I pushed Gabriel out of my thoughts, I wouldn't let him ruin that day.
"You know," Tony started after handing us the sweets. "we scheduled a couple of shows this week 'cause they're at a close city. The guys are checking one of the places right now, and I was thinking that maybe it's a good opportunity for Frankie to meet them?"
"Y-yes!" he jumped. "B-but only if y-you don't play l-loud, kay?"
"Do we have to go by bus?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Yes...it's less than twenty minutes from here, though. The van's there so we'll drive you home later."
"Y-yes please, G-gee! Th-the bus and the b-band and the v-van! I l-like!" Frankie's enthusiasm was enough of an answer, and I was also willing to meet those guys properly. They were, in a way, Anthony's family; so we would be seeing them a lot in the future.
CHAPTER 61
Oh! I'm playing in a traveling band,
playing in a traveling band.
Won't you get me, take me hand,
well, I'm playing in a traveling band.
The cotton candy had the feared effect: Frankie was undeniably high on sugar by the time we arrived at the bus stop. In only ten minutes of wait he talked non-stop, jumped around singing a made-up song about the day's events, and ran off at least three times chasing whatever he had seen; the last almost stepping into the traffic. We tried to keep a grip on him, but he'd always find a way to free himself. When the bus appeared in the distance, I noticed it was just the three of us there waiting; the rest of people having given up and left annoyed.
"Wh-why they left b-before the bus c-came?" Frankie frowned, only then realising that his audience had been drastically reduced.
"Because the bus was taking too long, they got tired of waiting." Anthony lied.
"N-no it didn't t-take long." he argued.
"They'd been here longer than us." I justified.
"S-some weren't. N-nope, so wh-why they left?" he went on. Thankfully for us, something became more important than his doubt. "B-bus!"
"No, wait!" I screamed after Frank who had already stepped on the vehicle.
"Go with him, I'll pay." Tony said.
The bus was fairly full, the only available seat being the long one at the back, though both far sides were occupied.
"I...I w-want by the w-window." Frank stood stubbornly in front of the line of seats with his arms crossed on his chest.
"They're taken, come sit here." I dragged him down with me. He got up again. "Frankie..."
"I w-want by th-the window." he repeated louder. "I...I l-like it better, wanna s-see."
"What's wrong, son? Sit down, this is gonna start moving." Anthony gently pushed him into a seat, only to have him hop out anew.
"I...w-wanna...seat...by...th-the...damn...w-window." Frank spat out each word angrily, causing everybody to turn and snoop at us.
"They're all taken, Frankie, it's a short ride anyway." his father whispered, he and Greg holding my boyfriend down in between them as he struggled.
"L-LEMME GO! IF...IF I C-CAN'T HAVE THE W-WINDOW THEN...THEN I W-WON'T SIT!"
"Frankie, stop it!" I scolded him, attracting more beholders.
"SH-SHUT UP, I W-WANT THE W-WINDOW!" he screamed with all his might. Being tired and pumped up with sugar at the same time wasn't a good combination for him.
When the bus hit the next stop, a woman sitting on one of the greatly valued locations shot us an aggravated look and got off. "The things one has to put up with..."
"W-WINDOW!" Frank didn't bother to do things the long way. To reach the wanted location, he opted for moving along my and Tony's laps on all fours. "Y-yay, so m-much better!"
"Ugh! I don't think Frankie will have any siblings..." Anthony groaned, doubled over. I was luckier, since only my legs had been slightly crushed.
"Well, I can't get pregnant anyway, as far as I know." Greg chuckled. "But if you can then we still have chances, my package is intact."
"Don't laugh, it hurts..." Iero hissed.
"If we were home I'd kiss it better." his partner blinked in a seductive fashion.
"Guys, everybody's hearing you..." I mumbled from the side of my mouth.
"Sorry..." Greg apologized, though sporadic laughter kept assaulting him.
"O-open it?" Frank pointed at the window, hitting it with his palm.
"No I won't, it's dangerous and it's cold outside. You already got what you wanted, stop giving orders!" I told him firmly.
"D-dad! O-open it open it o-open it?" he launched himself across me and shook Anthony.
"Nope, stay quiet."
"See that little kid there?" I signaled. Frankie followed my finger. "He must be no more than 5, and I don't see him crying over a window."
"W-well, 'cause he...h-he's a boring n-normal kid!" Frank retorted.
"Oh come on, son! You're a smart boy, you know you're being annoying." Tony tried to reason with him. It was evident that Frankie was taking advantage of his condition to have his way. He owned that kind of smartness little kids have, when they'll try to win you over by being a nuisance until you give in. He would usually succeed with me, I found it too hard to tell him 'no'.
"B-but why you c-can't open my w-window? I...I'll d-do it myself, th-then!" he pulled at the knob.
"Frank! Stop that and stay quiet or I'm taking you back home now!" It was the first time I'd witnessed Anthony seriously reprimanding his son. His tone wasn't that harsh and the irritation hadn't quite reached his face, but it was enough to make Frankie shut up, freeze, and lower his hands.
"O-okay, y-you're all so m-mean."
The dispute had been as long as the ride; so two minutes after Frank finally abandoned his capriciousness -though he still remained restless in his seat- we were off the bus.
Only one block separated us from our destination. On the way, Anthony told Frankie not to mention anything about his relationship with me to his band mates. It was a subject Iero wanted to address himself later.
******
The bar was a small, old building that had been recycled and modernized. The outer walls were painted champagne and the two ample, shutterless windows framed with maroon. Anthony waved at a man who stood at the other side of the glassed door, and when he opened it to let us in we could hear Tony's mates jamming. Frankie stopped dead and resisted.
"N-no..."
"Listen," Anthony placed both hands on his scared son's shoulders and bent down to look him in the eye. "what about you give it a try? If you think it's too loud just tell me and I'll make them stop, ok?"
"K-kay..." he agreed but covered his ears nonetheless, being held close by Tony as we crossed the entrance.
Even if the night had fallen by then, the place wasn't open for the clientele. It was dark inside, with all the main lights off for the band to check the stage illumination; so I couldn't discern very well how it was decorated.
I observed that Anthony wasn't looking at the front while he dodged tables. Instead he kept his eyes on his son, studying his reactions. I walked next to them. So far, Frankie had allowed his dad to guide him towards the stage, but as we got closer he began to whimper. I neared my ear to hear what he was saying.
"T-too loud...p-please tell them t-to stop...p-please."
"It's fine, don't worry." Anthony didn't need to ask for the music to cease, because right at that moment his friends spotted us.
"Hi there! Wait a minute..." the singer -whose name I had forgotten- rushed to the back of the place and turned on the lights. Frankie seemed instantly relieved and started to pry around with great interest.
All the guys came down the stage and, ignoring me, they went straight to Frankie surrounding him speechless. Anthony was about to say something, but the bassist beat him to it.
"Oh my God! He's Frankie, right?"
"Aha." Tony nodded full of pride, smirking because he knew what they were thinking.
"Hi! Y-yes I'm F-frankie." he said cheerly and shook each of their hands.
"Man, Tony, you don't need any DNA test...he's a young version of you!" the singer commented.
"Hey! You mean younger, I'm not old!" the mentioned playfully smacked his friend's head. "You might be the benjamin of the band, but I only come in second place!"
"Wow..." the guy of the sax's mouth was still wide open in amazement. "...do you have your reading glasses at hand, Tony?"
"Yep." he took a pair of black rimmed glasses -only slightly thinner and smaller than Frank's- out of the front pocket of his jacket and put them on. I had never seen him with glasses and couldn't believe how identical to Frankie he looked. We all let out surprised exclamations and Frankie just grinned. He must have seen his father like that before and was conscious of the similarity.
"Now I want you all to meet Gerard." with eyes full of tears, Anthony subtly pushed me ahead. I had been acting shy, intimidated for some reason. "He's the boy who found Frankie and took care of him, and also who looked for me to tell me about my son. Thanks to Gerard Frankie and I are together again."
"G-gee's the best!" Frankie hugged me and kissed my cheek. I ruffled his hair brotherly and smiled, letting him go to shake everybody's hands. I hated having to pretend, but I knew how some people could react to the truth and I didn't want to expose Frankie to that.
All of Anthony's friends greeted me more or less nicely, specially Paul who thanked me and remarked the importance of what I had done for their guitarist.
"Tony's been a new person since you came into his life with such news." he said. I thought I heard someone murmur under their breath, although I wasn't certain of who it had been or if it had even happened at all, so I let it pass.
"Frankie, Gerard...let me introduce these guys who are not only my band mates, but my friends and family as well." Anthony announced. It was a good chance for me to look at them better and match names with faces. The previous time I'd been too nervous, too busy staring at Anthony and figuring out how I would word what I needed to tell him.
"Y-yes, I wanna kn-know everybody's n-names!" Frankie encouraged.
"This is Jake: voice and harmonica and -as you already heard- youngest member of the band." "Please to meet you, Iero junior and Gerard." the extremely thin and shortish guy politely expressed. His eyes were black and penetrating and he appeared to be a cool, joyful young man.
"W-wow, you h-hair's so much l-longer than mine and G-gerard's, I l-like it!" Frank touched Jake's black mane that reached to the middle of his back.
"Then we have our bassist Paul..." Anthony pointed at the tallest of them all, an odd individual with small, rounded green eyes and a prominent nose.
"Happy to finally meet you! Anthony talks a lot about you, Frankie, you're famous among the band!" he shook Frank's hand for the second time and his crazy, pointy brown hair oscillated. His look perfectly suited what I had perceived from his personality. "You too, Gerard!"
"Y-you...you're f-funny!" Frankie giggled.
"Frankie!" I whispered to him, afraid that the musician might take the comment wrong.
"Wh-what I did, now?"
"You did nothing, don't worry." Paul answered Frankie after muttering an 'it's ok' to me. "You're funny too, it's cool to be funny, don't you think?"
"Y-yes, I th-think it is!"
"Next is our red-haired sax player, Trevor." Tony straightened one the man's short curls, which quickly regained its spiraled shape when released. Trevor's eyes reminded me of Bob's. They were of that bright light blue that made it impossible not to look at them. He was also paler than me and had a big, full mouth. "He's like the father of the band."
"Yeah, that's me...though I'm not as old as Tony makes it sound." he told us.
"Y-you don't l-look too old. H-how old?" Frank asked.
"45."
"Uh...th-then you are o-old!" the boy opined, bringing up general laughter.
"Don't confess your age in front of Frankie if your self-esteem is low, we're all ancient according to him. Don't take it personally." Greg spoke for the first time since we had entered the bar. He'd let Anthony do all the talking, knowing too well how good his boyfriend was to socialize.
"No problem!" Trevor indicated, still laughing. "I am old compared to him!"
"And last but not least it's Victor, the piano man!" Iero's enthusiastic introduction didn't impress the immutable chubby man. I realized I hadn't heard his voice yet, not even when we shook hands had he said anything. I found his seriousness out of place in that band, and his middle length hair -which was combed back with gel- only intensified his strong features.
"Hi, Frankie." he smiled shortly at him, then quickly retreated to his previous spot apart from us all. His grave tone let me know that it had been him who mumbled something before. I sent Anthony a questioning look and he just shrugged, giving me the impression that he was as disconcerted as I was about Trevor's behavior. Maybe the man was just having a bad day?
Being over with the introductions, the band gathered around Frankie, talking to him and asking many questions. Like me, Paul noticed that Frank was a little lost and not knowing where to look at.
"Let's do something for you to see us all better..." the bassist lifted and deposited him on the edge of the stage. "Uff! Gerard feeds you well, doesn't him?"
"Sh-shut up! N-not my fault th-that I'm fat!"
"Uh, Paul...I don't think that comment was a good idea." Anthony grimaced.
"Oh, sorry. Self esteem problems?"
"Only sometimes, but better to avoid it." I said.
"I didn't mean you were fat, kid, really. I shouldn't have said that, forgive me?" Paul pushed Frank's face up with a finger.
"Y-yeah, l-let's keep t-talking. I...I w-wanna tell you what we d-did today 'cause...'c-cause it was s-super awesome!" he clapped hands and hit the wooden front of the stage with his sneakers, too excited to keep grudges.
For a long time the men listened to Frank relate his anecdotes with pompous hand gestures. My silent observation served me to discern the different reactions Frankie provoked. While Paul was genuinely absorbed into Frank's geniality and interacted with him all the time, Trevor displayed a non-intentional degree of discomfort. He kept on fidgeting and looking away every now and then. Jake was, undoubtedly, amused by Frank's talkativeness; but I recognized the pity in his eyes, the compassionate smile on his lips. Victor was simply unreadable.
At some point the guys decided to come up with an interview-act, with Frank as their special guest. The boy played along happily, talking about his likes and dislikes and obviously enjoying the fact that he was the star. However, he eventually got bored of it. He began to find it hard to stay quiet and pay attention, longingly eying the instruments. It didn't help that he was supposed to take his meds and I didn't have them with me.
Crawling from side to side of the stage due to uncontrollable spare energy, he suddenly looked back at his father's friends.
"Y-you have k-kids?"
"Yes," Jake was the first one to answer. "a 14 year-old boy named Daniel, he sometimes travels with us during summer holidays."
"C-cool!"
"Oh, and he likes punk rock just like you. I learned a lot of punk songs thanks to him, even if it's not the kind of music I've always listened to." the singer pointed out.
"He's a great kid, I'm sure you'll meet him some day." Greg joined Frank on the stage, presumably tired after our outing.
"Y-yes, I w-want to!" Frank loved the idea, he was always willing to make friends.
"Next time he's with me and we're not too far from where you live, I'll tell Tony to bring you over." Jake promised, avoiding Frank's eyes. It seemed like he would cry if he met them.
"K-kay!"
"Trevor has a daughter..." Anthony patted the man's back, inciting more conversation to help his mates feel more at ease with his son. I knew he needed them to.
"Yep, she's 16."
"Wh-what's her n-name?" Frank inquired.
"Lily."
"I think you should introduce her to Frankie." Paul winked, chuckling.
"Hey! I am the father!" Trevor protested. "Don't go handing my baby over!"
"Oh come on, Trev! Your baby -as you call her- is old enough. And look at this cuteness here!" Paul grabbed Frank's face, talking to him now. "Lily is very pretty and sweet, I'm sure you'd like her. You'd look good together..."
"N-NO!" Frank shouted, four pairs of eyes set on him, startled. Not Tony's, Greg's or mine, who perfectly knew what was up with him.
"See? The boy doesn't want a girlfriend." Trevor retorted.
"N-no 'cause I...I d-don't like girls, n-nope. I l-like boys. " Frankie explained, gaining another round of perplexed gazes.
"Aww!" Paul cried out. "Just like his dad! You're like photocopies!"
"Guys, don't be silly, it's just a coincidence!" Tony blushed.
"Isn't it cute?" Jake concurred.
"I don't find it cute when I have to see Anthony and Greg eating each other's faces." Victor grunted. I really hoped he was only having a bad day, because I was liking him less and less.
"Shut the fuck up!" Jake hit him in the head. "What do you care?"
" You shut up, I have the right to think differently."
"How about you both stop it?" Trevor pushed them away from each other before things got worse. "And you, Victor...are you homophobic now or what?"
"No I'm not. I just...don't appreciate PDAs" he stressed his words with annoyance.
"That's because you have no one to snuggle with!" Paul pressed, laughing. He was the buffoon of the band.
"L-like Ray!" Frankie giggled.
"Who's Ray?" Trevor questioned.
"My best friend." I replied. "He complains about PDAs too, and I always tell him that's because he desperately needs a girl."
"Exactly like Vic!" Jake assented. Victor's eyes threw daggers at me. He was far more menacing than Greg, and the reason why I had barely talked since we got there. I felt like the guy knew; he knew everything and didn't like it.
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