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Now I know you've been seeing red, don't put a pistol to your head. Sometimes your answer's heaven sent, your way is so damn permanent. 42 страница



The first thing I looked at was the stove. The gas had been started on all the stovetops and the blue kettle rested on one of them, but none were lighted. I was striding towards there when I spotted Frankie. He had the burner in one hand and a newspaper set on fire in the other. He held the flames close to his face, staring at them marveled while he dangerously approached the time-bomb that was the stove. All my limbs were paralyzed by fear.
"H-hot...so b-bright and pretty..." he whispered, not taking notice of my presence. He got closer and closer, let the burner fall and touched the fire. That's when I detached my feet from the ground.
"FRANK, NO!" I shouted and pushed him back forcefully, tearing the ignited paper off his hands and launching it to the sink. He screeched with all his strength but I didn't check on him. Trembling and coughing, I dashed to the sink and let the water run while I desperately turned all the stove's knobs off. Finally, I opened the windows and the door to the patio.
"Fuck..." I breathed some fresh air and tried to calm down. Then I thought of Frankie, I couldn't see him. "Oh, fuck...where's he?"

I searched the whole house calling his name. I looked in each corner, under the bed and even inside the closet, but nothing. The main door was locked and I would never leave the keys where he could reach them.
Defeated and not knowing what else to do, I went back to the kitchen only to casually discover a place I hadn't inspected. There, under the table and against the wall, was a shaking Frankie. He had made himself as small as possible, his head hid in between his knees and hugging his legs. I crawled to reach him, but he flinched and cowered.

"Frankie...everything's fine now, baby. Come out of there." I spoke softly, caressing his hair. He seemed to shake more when I did, frightened. "Frankie?"
"S-sorry...d-dunno what I d-did wrong but s-sorry...d-don't...don't be m-mad. D-don't send me th-there...no sh-shots. N-no please...." he mumbled crying and rocking his body.
"Send you where, Frankie? I'm not mad...look at me baby, please..." I attempted to touch him and he shrieked again. After that he kept murmuring.
"Y-you screamed and...and c-called me F-frank and p-pushed me and m-made me fall. S-scared me. I...I w-wanted to m-make breakfast. D-did nothing b-bad. N-no I didn't."
"Oh, love, I'm sorry I...I smelled gas and saw you with fire and...got terrified. Frankie, I didn't want to hurt you, I swear. I'm not mad..."
"F-fire is p-pretty, not s-scary." he watched me at last with wet eyes, a little more calm.
"It's dangerous, you must not get near fire, and you must definitely not touch it. You understand?"
"N-no, why? I...I l-like it. D-did nothing to m-me." he showed me his hands.
"It didn't 'cause I took the paper from you in time. Also, you must not use the stove by yourself. If you need to heat something, you ask me."
"Wh-why? I c-can. W-was gonna d-do it but...but t-tried all of the t-tops and f-fire didn't work. Th-then tried on the p-paper and it d-did. S-so...so was g-gonna light the s-stove tops with it." he smiled proudly now, and I was too tired and feeling too much like crap to be patient.
"N-NO!" I yelled and Frank began to cry loudly. I regretted my outburst immediately. "Sorry, didn't mean to raise my voice. I meant...you can't light the stove like that. Even less having all the tops with the gas on. If I hadn't stopped you it could all have exploded. That's why I got so scared."
"Wh-why?" he repeated childishly.

I hated those moments when I felt as lost as the father of a toddler. How could you explain those things to someone who had never been able to understand or recognize danger? I couldn't even comprehend myself how that was possible. Frankie was smart enough; sometimes slow yes, but he was able to learn and understand explanations if you had the patience. However, nothing would work when it came to tell him why it was dangerous to do or touch some things. I had tried many times, said the same things once and again and I knew Grace had tried before. But it'd always lead to Frank asking 'why' every ten seconds.



Sometimes it would seem like he had gotten it. Like with, for example, scissors. When hearing him tell people that he couldn't use them you'd think he understood why; while in reality, he was only repeating what we had told him. He could comment that it was dangerous to step into traffic and one second later be doing it if you didn't keep him watched. The worst thing was that this problem had nothing to do with his illness but his brain injure, so we'd have to put up with it forever.

"Just...don't do it, it's dangerous. I know you only wanted to help, that was very sweet of you. But I'm happy just waking up and seeing you in the bed beside me. I don't need you to make breakfast, I love doing it for both of us. Really." I took him in my arms and rocked him slowly.
"K-kay." he kissed my cheek. "S-sorry."

We stayed under the table like that until Frankie said that he was hungry. Ray would have to make breakfast when he arrived, since I had still to get ready and was late for work.

I left the house with a headache and worried about the future, about our every-day. One morning I could fail to hear Frankie get up, and on the next occasion I might not make it on time. Yes, I could be twice as careful, yet I didn't know how to prevent some things.

******
One more week went by. My preoccupation after what happened that morning had made me stay awake for hours every night, thinking and fearing. As a consequence of falling asleep later, I had ended up inciting that same thing I feared: Frankie had gotten up unnoticed two more times. The first one he'd just become disoriented while needing to pee and did it in a basket full of dirty clothes. The second one was a little worse. I had found him standing over the kitchen counter trying to reach what I kept hidden from him; that including the burner, scissors and knives among other things. He couldn't get any, but his heels slipped up and he would have fallen backwards if I hadn't been there to catch him.
Even if I hated the idea and it had been my last option, I decided to lock the bedroom's door from then on. I kept the key around my neck, on a string not too long so I'd notice if Frankie went as far as to try to get it from me.

That Wednesday, Goldberg had given us his approval to tell Frankie about his father. The following day after work, I had met up with Anthony and we'd both gone to the psychiatrist's office to discuss the details. Iero was very anxious and looking forward to the crucial moment, yet totally concentrated on the doctor's indications and determined to follow them.
Ray was still unsure about this being a good thing for Frankie, but had supported me nonetheless, staying with him at home when needed.

The same mall was the location for this new meeting, the most important of them all, a day that would change Frank's life forever. I had been awfully nervous since I got up and had ran out of excuses to tell Frank every time he'd ask what was wrong. He always perceived when something was happening and had been more jumpy and disquiet too.

Tony was already there, playing with a napkin to keep himself busy. Greg hadn't come with him this time, respecting his partner's decision of facing this alone. Frankie grinned and ran to his father's arms as if he had known him forever, and again they both shivered at the contact.
"Hi, Frankie! Not sick today?"
"N-nope! I...I g-got Gee sick, but h-he's fine too, n-now. H-how are y-you, T-tony? Wh-where's Greg?" he kissed his cheek and sat on the chair next to him.
"I'm very well, and so is Greg. He had some things to do with the band, that's why he couldn't come." Tony responded.

For about an hour we just maintained a casual conversation. I could see that Anthony was struggling with his nerves. His voice would fail him at moments and he blamed some runaway tears on his allergies.
Feeling a lot better than the last time, Frankie wouldn't stop talking, gesturing and laughing. He even sang some tunes from TV shows and encouraged us to join him. Anthony was loving every second shared with his son, but I knew what he was thinking when he'd suddenly look somber. He feared for that happiness to come tumbling down after telling Frank the truth, and the dismay also invaded me.

Anthony eyed me waiting for consent, and it was such a huge responsibility. The decision was in my hands, he had silently given me the power to say whether it was a good moment. I nodded, it was now or never.
"Frankie, I...I have to tell you something. You need to pay attention, because it's very important." he began, ghostly pale. I thought he'd faint before completing the last sentence.
"K-kay!" Frankie answered, unaware of what was coming.
"Remember I told you that my son Frankie was two years old?"
"Y-yep, a l-little Frankie. And...and you s-said you missed him, wh-why? H-he doesn't live w-with you, l-like Gee's dad?" Frankie's words broke Tony's fragile composure and he couldn't stop a sob. The boy looked at me worried and then back at Tony, rubbing his back. "D-don't cry, it...it's o-okay. Y-your son will l-love you th-the same if you c-can't see him too of-often 'cause...'c-cause you're nice."
"Th-thank you, Frankie. I hope so...'cause my little Frankie is who I love the most in the word." Anthony took several deep breaths, battling to overcome what had been nothing compared to what he would have to endure.

"Wh-where's your s-son?" Frank insisted.
"That's what I w-wanted to talk about. First of all I kinda lied, my son's not two years old." Anthony proceeded.
"N-no?"
"No...I said that because he was that age the last time I saw him. Then something happened and I had to...travel." he disguised the truth.
"Th-the baby stayed w-with his mom?"
"Yes..."
"T-tony...you s-said you're gay, b-but if you h-have a son th-then the mom of...of the b-baby was your g-girlfriend." Frank suddenly noted. This made Anthony laugh and served to ease the tension.
"I...I like both boys and girls, or at least used to like girls too. I've been luckier with boys, though. Well...with one, Greg!"
"B-boys are better, no b-boobs." Frank nodded, serious. "B-but tell me m-more 'bout your b-baby."
"When I came back from my trip..." Tony stopped just before the part where he was forced to lie. Goldberg had agreed with us that some details of the 'story' were too hard for Frankie to digest. "...Frank's mom had moved. She hadn't told anyone where."
"Sh-she took the b-baby with her?"
"Yes, she did."
"As-asshole!" Frankie practically cried. His eyes were gathering tears and he was gripping the chair's armrests tightly. "Wh-what you d-did?"
"I asked everybody, and I searched everywhere. I s-searched for years and y-years..." Anthony could barely speak now due to his uncontrollable sobs. Frank had hugged him, leaning his head on the other's shoulder, but jumped at what Iero said last.
"Y-years? Y-you haven't s-seen your baby in y-years? Th-that...that's a l-lot! H-how many years?
"Sixteen." the man replied, his eyes contemplating his son's. Frank frowned and appeared absent, pensive. I was crying in silence, too shaken and terrified to speak.
"B-but...but then...h-he's not a b-baby."
"N-no...he...he's eighteen now, almost n-nineteen." Anthony released, and it was impossible not to cry. He was crying, I was crying. Frankie was static, his troubled head trying to grasp all that information that sounded too familiar. "B-but he'll always be my baby. I've never forgotten him, I've always m-missed him with all my heart and wished I could hug him, p-play with him, see him grow. But I couldn't, I just...c-couldn't"

"N-no shut up, n-no it's not. C-can't be, n-no. D-don't h-have one no, sh-shut up. SH-SHUT-UP!" Frank grabbed his head with both hands and shook it. What started like a whisper gradually turned into a scream and he made a ball of himself in the seat, mumbling and breathing agitatedly. Tony watched me desperate, not knowing if he should touch him. I raised my palm to tell him to wait.
"Frankie...are you ok?" I asked with fake calmness.
"I...I'll b-be if he s-stops."
"Me?" Anthony said.
"N-no, him...h-here." Frank hit his head. "SH-SHUT UP! Th-that's better. Y-yes, better now."
"Sure?" Iero grazed his face with the tips of his fingers and Frank whimpered.
"Y-yes, better. Y-you...you never s-saw your baby ag-again?"
"Frankie...we can continue this some other day if you don't feel too well..." Tony offered.
"N-no! T-tell me?"
"Okay..." he sighed. "No...I never saw my kid again...until one night, just a few weeks ago. Our band was playing in a bar, here in this town. When we finished, a boy I had never seen before came talk to me. He said that he knew where my son was, he had found Frankie and had taken him to live with him. First I didn't believe him, but then he told me lots of things that convinced me. He also showed me a picture." he once again met my eyes, unsure about going on with the plan. I felt so little, too young and immature for the situation, petrified. What if we just added a bigger trauma to Frank's life? What if he hated us all after this?

It was too late to stop. Frank had caught the hints, he had undoubtedly thought that the coincidences were too many. He might be in denial, refusing to believe what the voice in his head was demanding him to see, but he would not leave without more data.

"Wh-what pic?"
"The picture of a small 18 year-old boy with long, brown hair and big hazel eyes behind black glasses." Tony smiled through the tears, while rivers of the same liquid pearls slid along Frank's cheeks. My boyfriend brought a hand up to his chest and I could hear his respiration. I was afraid, I wanted to run to him but couldn't, shouldn't. Tony said more. "H-he was sitting on a chair smiling widely, with a cute black dog on his lap. Greg s-said the boy looked a lot like me."
"N-no but...b-but...that's m-me. Th-the pic...s-sounds like me. G-gee took a p-pic of me l-like that!" Frank shook his head furiously. Anthony stopped him by grabbing his face in between his hands.
"Yes, it was you in the picture."
"N-no but...b-but I d-don't look like y-you." he wept, forcing the older man's hand off.
"You...you do, Frankie. You and Tony are very alike, I gave him that picture." I recuperated my speaking ability. He got out of his chair and came to me, seeking for shelter.

Having him now so close to me I could listen to his heartbeats. He was too flurried, confused, overwhelmed. But if we had made a mistake, the damage was done.
"I...I'm n-not your F-frankie, Tony. N-no. C-can't be. I...I d-don't have a d-dad, never h-had a dad, never n-no."
"Y-you do have one, baby, you do. I am your dad. I swear I d-didn't leave you, Frankie. I never ab-abandoned you, I just...couldn't find you. I couldn't until Gerard f-found me. " Tony kept talking, dying to embrace his son but refraining from because he couldn't force him.
"Is..is t-true, Gee?" Frankie's look summarized the biggest amount of emotions I had witnessed in my life. It was too much for him, I wanted it to end but at this point I could only follow.
"Yes, Frankie...it's true. I looked for Anthony and talked to him because I imagined that he didn't know where you were. I also wanted you to know that there was someone else out there who loved you as much as my family, my friends and I do. Anthony is your dad, your own real dad."
"N-no but...but no 'c-cause they never t-told me I h-had a dad and he n-never came and...h-how..."
"Frankie please calm down, try to breathe slowly." I massaged his chest and spoke into his ear soothingly. "Everything's fine, this is something good, babe. Breathe."
"N-no one ever told you because they didn't know about me. Your...mother left you in a place with other kids when you were little, and she didn't say that you had a dad. No one told me you were there either." Tony attended Frank's doubts as well as he could. It was also too much for him, this was breaking both their hearts.

"Wh-why? If...if m-mom didn't w-want me why she didn't l-leave me with y-you? Wh-why she left me th-there? I...I d-don't remember her. N-no. On-only later, wh-when she t-told me to g-get off the car and...and th-then she never c-came back. AS-ASSHOLE, WHY? M-moms don't do th-that." he cried and cried in my arms. The three of us were a crying mess and the world around us didn't exist. The mall had vanished, the voices of the people had been switched to mute.
"I...I don't know Frankie. I wish I could answer that, but I don't know why your mother did this to us, why she separated us if she didn't even care. But n-now I'm here, son. I'm here f-for you."

As soon as Anthony gave his mouth permission to form that three-lettered word, the one that had been supplicating for freedom, something clicked in Frank. He stayed quiet, seemed to loosen his grip on me and just turned to stare at Tony. His breathing was still loud, but slower.
His father smiled, reaching out to touch him. Frank stiffened and got off me, eyes fixed on the man in front of him. I thought that the worse was over, I ventured to smile imagining a decisive hug. But my fairy tail was destroyed.
"N-NO! N-NOT AGAIN, N-NO!" Frankie shouted and ran away faster than I had ever seen him run.

Just when Anthony and I reacted, our surroundings decided to inopportunely reappear. There were too many people, too many tables, too many voices intensifying our desperation as we raced after Frank.

CHAPTER 55

So tired that I couldn't even sleep,
so many secrets I couldn't keep.
Promised myself I wouldn't weep,
one more promise I couldn't keep.

By the time we got to the mall's door -following what people who saw him told us- Frankie had disappeared without a trace. All the terrible possibilities of what could happen to him were roaming my head, but I didn't want to let them blur my senses.
"Do you have a car?" I asked Tony.
"No...fuck! The guys needed the van so I took a bus." he held his head, crying. Iero was having a harder time trying to stay calm than I.
"Well, we better not waste any more time, let's check if that guy saw him." I pointed at a vendor on the sidewalk. Anthony practically jumped towards him.
"Excuse me...did you see a boy come out of the mall running just a couple of minutes ago? He's short with long hair and glasses and..."
"Black jacket with furry hood?" the man corroborated.
"Yes!" I exclaimed.
"He crossed the avenue here and then followed that way." he signaled the traversing street to his right. "I paid attention 'cause he just launched himself without even looking. I don't know how he made it safe."
"Oh, fuck fuck fuck...thanks!" I screamed back as I sped behind Anthony, who had already darted into the wide sea of cars.

"Watch out!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of a truck's path. "Do you wanna make your son an orphan when having just found him?"
"S-sorry..."
"Now!" the traffic stopped and we ran as fast as our legs allowed. We only slowed down when necessary to ask a couple more people; all indicated that Frankie had continued along the same street.
"I think that's him there!" I shouted, but the small figure was more than a block away. We quickened our pace, desperately seeing Frank make his way through another chaos of honks and insults. It wasn't easy to keep our eyes on him with so many people around us. Why had everybody chosen to go out this same day?
"Fuck, damn people! We lost him again...now where?" Anthony cursed, looking around.
"Calm down...I...I think I know." I supported myself on his shoulder, totally out of breath. "He's going home. I...didn't consider it first 'cause I thought he wouldn't know how but...if you take this street to the left, it's two blocks and you're there."
"You think...?"
"I'm not sure but...we should give it a try."

Approaching the house, we heard bawling and banging. Some neighbors had come out of their houses to see what the commotion was about, and the nice lady from next door was standing in my garden attempting to calm my boyfriend down.
"Oh, Gerard! Good that you came, I tried to get closer and ask your brother what had happened to him, but he just screamed louder and pushed me away." she filled me in. This woman, same as everyone else in my neighborhood, thought we were brothers. Anthony gave me a weird look, but then seemed to figure out the reason behind that lie. Presumably not the real reason, though; or maybe even that one?
"I'll take care of Frankie now, thanks for watching him in the meantime." I nodded and smiled at my neighbor. "And sorry if he was a little rude"
"Don't worry about that, dear, I was just worried that he'd hurt himself."

I carefully walked to the front door which Frankie was knocking, shaking, kicking. He hadn't even noticed us there as he continued to cry and shout with desperation.
"O-OPEN! O-OPEN NOW, G-GOTTA GET IN, G-GOTTA HIDE! O-OPEN!"
"Frankie?" I barely touched his shoulder and he flinched, then turned around and hugged me; trembling, panting, heart racing. When he saw Anthony behind us, he got off me and went back to throwing his body against the door in a frenetic attempt to open it.
"P-PLEASE GEE O-OPEN THE DOOR, O-OPEN THE D-DOOR OPEN TH-THE DOOR!"
"Shh, ok." while I was turning the key into the lock, Frank kept a cautious gaze on his father. It was as if he feared that the man would do something bad and sudden.

The boy was leaning on the door, so he fell to the floor as soon as I let him into the house and crawled away, sobbing. Anthony had stayed outside, realising that he was the main problem there. He looked hurt, broken, guilty. I didn't feel much better because I, after all, had been the one who made it all happen. I silently told him to come in, but he didn't go far once inside, reading the fear in his son's eyes. There was nothing that he wanted more than to have Frank in his arms, but I knew he was capable of giving up being with his son if he thought it was for the best. He'd do it even if it killed him, just to avoid scarring his kid more, adding extra suffering.

I detained Frank's escape by grabbing his waist and sat there holding him.
"N-NO...NO NO N-NO. L-LEMME GO, H-HE'S THERE! D-DON'T LET HIM T-TAKE ME AWAY G-GEE, NO P-PLEASE!" he fought me, though I'd become quite skillful at restraining him by now.
"B-but Frankie..." Anthony cried from his spot next to the door. "I...I don't want to take you anywhere, I swear!"
"H-HE LIES! Y-YOU...YOU W-WILL! H-HE TOLD ME!"
"Who told you?" I lost the thread of his claim.
"H-he...here!" he hit his head. "And...and this t-time he's r-right, he kn-knows! Y-yes he kn-knows 'cause I r-remember!"
"Frankie don't..."
"P-PLEASE GEE, DO S-SOMETHING! W-WANNA...STAY!" Frank wouldn't stop clamoring, and was clearly finding it hard to breath after running from the mall home. He needed to calm down and rest, but that seemed impossible to attain at the moment.
"Frankie please, he's not gonna take you anywhere, you are staying. Now stop screaming and tell me why you thought he'd do that. Tell me why you ran away..." my voice broke at the end. "You...you scared us to death, baby."

Frank coughed and looked up, gasping for air and clutching his chest. "Sh-she said..."
"Shh...first try to relax, breath slowly. Just like this, follow me." I inhaled and exhaled in a measured, visible manner several times. Frankie stared and did his best to copy me, not without certain difficulty. After a while he sounded much better, although more tears were expelled as he spoke again.
"Sh-she told me to g-get in the c-car but...I d-didn't want to. G-grace said that w-woman was my m-mom but...but I n-never saw her, d-didn't remember. N-no. Sh-she never went t-to see me th-there. N-never. M-moms go to s-see their k-kids. Sh-she didn't." he sniffed. I eyed Tony who was sitting on the floor near the opposite wall of the living room. He was a wreck.
"What happened then?" I encouraged Frankie, feeling that he needed to talk; and I wanted to understand.
"T-told her. I w-was mad and as-asked her why sh-she never came to v-visit me. Sh-she was p-pushing me to th-the car and...and I s-said I wanted to s-stay there. Sh-she said I c-couldn't, she c-couldn't pay an-anymore. I as-asked again and she t-told me she had b-been very busy...th-that's why she never c-came. And...and then..." he interrupted his narration and wept anew, louder and more anguish-filled than before. I thought it was due to the memories of what had occurred later that day coming back to him, but there was more. Something small yet huge at the same time in its significance.

"Sh-she...she t-touched my f-face and...and said: 'b-but now I'm h-here, son', and she w-was smiling." Frankie revealed his reason for freaking out at Tony. That was the same phrase he'd heard at the mall. The same words that I knew his father had honestly and meaningfully pronounced. In his mother's case, though, they had only been a low trick to gain his confidence. A dirty deceit to lure him into the car so she could get away with her plan. It was only expectable for Frankie to not trust that doomed sentence again. "Sh-she sounded like a m-mom so I d-did what she s-said. B-but she l-lied!"
"Fucking bitch..." Anthony hissed. "How could she be s-so cold?"
"I...I l-liked it there, wh-where I lived. I d-did. S-some guys were as-assholes but I h-had friends and...and G-grace was like a m-mom and it was my h-home. Th-then my real m-mom took me out of th-there and l-left me in the s-street, s-said she'd be b-back but she didn't. I w-waited but she d-didn't! Th-then you found m-me and now I have a f-family and new f-friends and I have y-you and I like it h-here. An-and I love you, G-gee. I...I wanna have a d-dad but don't w-wanna leave, n-not again. P-please Gee, don't let h-him take me a-away!"
"Frankie...look at me.You trust me, right?" I placed my hand under his chin to make him meet my eyes. His were unquiet and he couldn't focus, but he blinked and nodded.
"Y-yes, a l-lot. L-love you."
"Then you have to believe me. Your dad is not lying, he cares about you and has always wanted to find you. We talked a lot, and I can tell you that he truly loves you. Tony's not here to take you away, he's not going to do the same as your mother..." I told him what he needed to hear, although I wasn't sure myself. I didn't know what Anthony would do in the future, I was just hoping we'd find the best solution for all of us.
"P-promise?" Frank whispered to me, whimpering and shouting to himself right after. "N-NO HE D-DOESN'T! I...I B-BELIEVE HIM!"
"I promise, and I love you too." I didn't mind if Tony was listening, he had already heard Frank say it so we'd deal with that later. "Now let Tony get close to you, baby. I'll stay here, no one's gonna get you out of this house if you don't want to. And ignore what the voice in your head says, he knows nothing."
"K-kay."

Anthony didn't get up; instead he advanced on all fours. Frank's breathing rhythm increased automatically once they were face to face. Both crying, both afraid. But Iero didn't falter this time, he couldn't. He took some seconds to recompose himself, and when he spoke again his voice was clear and his tone secure.
"Frankie, what Gerard said is true. I'm the happiest man in the word just 'cause I've finally found you. I don't want to separate you from Gerard or your new family, I don't. Please don't be afraid of me, I only want the best for you, I'll do whatever makes you happy. I'm so, so sorry for what happened with your mother, I hate her for what she did and I can't understand why she did it. But I'm not like her, son; all I want is to get to know you better. Go for a walk once in a while, maybe out for lunch. Or as we talked about the other day...I could also take you to meet all the guys in the band and you'd sing and learn to play the instruments with us! Whatever you prefer. I just want to spend some time with you because I couldn't when you were younger. But we still have time, lots of time."
"Uh...d-dunno I..."
"Gerard can always come with us, I don't mind. I'll take Greg! Would that help you feel more comfortable?" he proposed, guessing that Frankie may be afraid of going anywhere with him alone. Even though he liked Tony, the previous bad experience with his mother had marked him.
Anthony understood, he knew it wouldn't be easy; after finding out that his supposed dead son was alive he would gladly agree to anything to be close to him. Frank's happiness was first, that was indisputable.
"Y-yes. M-maybe." Frank answered dryly, and his father looked down catching some tears with his fingertips. He still had to learn that Frank's short answers didn't always meant something bad.
"Ok, now I'll leave so you can have some rest, you need it. We'll talk some other day." he forced a sad smile. "Gerard...a million thanks again."
"Anthony...don't..." before I could finish he stood and walked towards the door. Just then Frankie emitted a strange, pitiful sound.
"Frankie...?"
"T-tony!" he called him. He tried to get up but was too shaky and exhausted, so the older Iero crouched instead. "D-don't cry? I...I s-still like you. An-and it's g-good that y-you're my d-dad and not an as-asshole. Y-yes. B-but I...d-dunno. It...IT'S N-NOT THAT, SH-SHUT UP! N-NOT TALKING TO Y-YOU!" he sobbed and rubbed his face. "S-sorry he...I d-dunno what I w-want and...no. N-not now. M-maybe, not n-now."
"Thank you, my baby. And I can wait, don't worry. Now sleep, ok?" he kissed Frank's head and departed.


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