"Yes, Ryan was just sharing it with me," Janet cut in sarcastically, pulling a funny face at Ryan who had her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh.
"Shit. I never slept with her, Janet, after I got to know you," clarified Robbie.
"Thank you for splitting those semantic hairs for me and letting me know in this manner," responded Janet, with polite acidity.
Silence. Then a voice laced with pathetic insecurity muttered, "I love you."
"We'll discuss it," was the response, as Janet hung up.
Ryan laughed merrily. "Wow! Did you toast her buns!"
"Let's change the subject. How long have you known who your mother really was, and how did you find out?" demanded Janet, her foul mood sending her on the offensive. Ryan straightened, and prepared to tell all.
"For a long time, I didn't care who she was. But last year, I began to wonder why my surname was Williams. Whoever was supporting me had money that was for sure. So I started with a list of possibilities, and the most obvious were the Williams sisters. Then I accessed birth certificates and bingo, mine turned up with Robbie Williams' name on it. But that didn't mean she was supporting me, so I snuck into the school office one night, and went through the files to see who was issuing my tuition cheques. It was a law firm that also represented Robbie Williams. So then I hacked into..."
"Don't tell me any more," Janet cut in dryly, holding up a hand. "There is no doubt that you are your mother's daughter!"
Robbie paced around her apartment, picking up things and putting them down again. Maybe Janet had decided to go back to her cabin instead of coming here?! No, she wouldn't leave Reb. Maybe she'd had an accident! The highway between London and Toronto was fast, busy and dangerous this time of year. A new knot formed in Robbie's stomach. Then she heard the whoosh of her elevator and she walked over to wait nervously by the door.
The doors opened and Janet stepped out. Robbie shifted from one foot to the other, trying to think of something to say to make it better. "Ahhhh, hi," was what she finally managed to get out.
Janet slipped out of her coat and dropped it on a chair and then turned and walked into Robbie's arms. Robbie wrapped her in tightly, filled with emotional relief.
"That really hurt and embarrassed me, Robbie," Janet said, her voice muffled and strained.
"Oh God, love, I'm so sorry!" groaned the actor.
"Come on, let's sit down. You want to make me a cup of tea? I'm exhausted. Then I want to know the truth, okay?" Robbie nodded and kissed Janet's brow gently.
"I'll get the tea," she whispered and disappeared down the hall. Janet watched her go with sad eyes. Was it too much to expect that Robbie Williams could settle down and live a family life?
"Ahhhh, I told you Tracy and I had a relationship years ago."
"Yes."
"Well, after the funeral, I had a one night stand with her," confessed Robbie uncomfortably.
"You'd made a pass at me that weekend," Janet pointed out, dryly. "Were you going to service both of us?"
"No!" protested Robbie, looking up from the tea mug that had held her attention fixedly. "I'd struck out with you and...and I guess my ego was bruised," she finished lamely. Janet said nothing. "It never happened again. I....I just sort of walked out on Tracy and came to you. She was pretty hot about it and did some talking and that damn reporter, Lucier, got wind of it, and sold the story to the tabloid. I'm really sorry, Janet."
"Me too, Robbie," responded Janet honestly. For a while there was an uncomfortable silence between them. When Janet thought that she had made her point, she continued with a sigh. "Your daughter, Robbie, is an olive out of the same bottle!"
Robbie looked up in shock, " She's fooling around?!!"
Janet laughed and shook her head, "No, at least not yet, but I've got to tell you, this child of yours is a hellion!" Janet settled back and Robbie listened intently to all Janet had to report. Then, they went on to discuss what they needed to do next.
"Okay, here is where we stand," said Janet, brushing her fingers through her short hair and pacing back and forth across the living room. They had been discussing the issue for several hours now and were on their second pot of tea. "You will call a press conference and admit to having a daughter, explaining that it was a youthful indiscretion. You have recently learned that the father was killed and so you felt it was okay to recognize the daughter that you have been secretly supporting all these years.
In the mean time, I'll slip Ryan away so that she does not get the opportunity to give a press interview herself because God only knows what that child would say! I'll keep her under lock and key, figuratively not literally, at Bartlett until this thing blows over!"
"I've really fucked up, haven't I?" Robbie sighed miserably from where she sat, elbows balanced on her knees, staring at the carpet.
"Well, one good thing about this whole mess is it will help to bury the story about your relationship with Travelli," snorted Janet.
Robbie was on her feet, eyes flashing, "I did NOT have a relationship with Travelli! I love you, damn it!"
There was a moment of startled silence, and then Janet started to laugh, falling into Robbie's welcoming arms. "You are such a charmer, you are!" she giggled.
Robbie squirmed awkwardly, "Well, I do love you," she muttered defensively.
"Then I'm a very lucky woman," sighed Janet, reaching up on tip toes to place a soft kiss on Robbie's lips.
Robbie smiled, "No, I'm the lucky one. Want to go to bed?"
"Thought you'd never ask," came the response as Janet buried her sleepy head into Robbie's chest. Robbie picked the woman that she loved up, and carried her through to the master suite.
"Do you think it will be on Entertainment?" asked Ryan, looking up from the book she was reading, as Janet drove her up to Bartlett in Robbie's truck the following Friday.
"What?" asked Janet, her own thoughts miles away with her partner.
"Do you think Robbie's press conference where she announces she got knocked up as a teen will be on Entertainment?" repeated Ryan, patiently.
Janey gripped the wheel firmly and set her jaw. "Ryan, please do not resort to crudity as a means of defense. It is in poor taste. I can understand why you harbour some resentment towards your MOM, you don't know her yet like I do. You need to understand that your mom is a very private person and today will be a real ordeal for her. Like you, she often hides her very gentle soul behind a tough facade."
"I'm not like my...like Robbie!" snapped Ryan.
"You have her build and looks despite your colouring and you do seem to display a number of similar personality traits, although I'm sure in many ways you are very different."
"I wish Elizabeth was my mom. She is a worthwhile person not a movie star," Ryan said with contempt.
Janet laughed. "You're mom is far more than just a beautiful face! You'll see." Ryan returned to her book. It was Stephen Hawking's, Universe. Ryan was definitely not your ordinary fourteen year old.
Janet thought about the dinner that she had prepared for Elizabeth at Robbie's apartment. The woman was so nervous that she had dropped her shoulder bag twice getting into the living room. With Robbie she had talked physics, Janet amazed at how readily her lover could keep pace with the complex maths and theories that Elizabeth was explaining. Janet had a good mind, but she only understood a general overview of what they were discussing.
With Janet, she was stilted and formal until she learned that Janet had a master's degree in gifted education, then the academic had asked her one question after another, absorbing information like a sponge. By the end of the evening, the conversation had become almost relaxed and normal.
Robbie had declared the evening a roaring success, saying that Lizzy had really warmed to Janet and relaxed in her company. Janet had opened her eyes wide in disbelief, but Robbie had assured her that Elizabeth had been known not to speak at all at social gatherings and so the night had been a real success.
"Robbie, what happened to your sister? Why is she so introverted?"
Robbie had become distant immediately, "It's part of the bad times. I don't want to talk about it," she had said stiffly and gone out to stand alone in the roof garden while Janet was left to finish the dishes.
Now here was another generation of Williams carrying scars! Janet looked over at the young girl. She was lean and tall for her age. Wearing blue jeans, and a green sweat shirt, under a waist length parka, she was every inch your average teen, a little conservative perhaps.
"When would you like to meet your mom?"
"Never," came the response from behind the book.
"I think tomorrow would be a good time. It's Saturday so I'll make brunch for us all, and you can spend the day at the cabin getting to know each other. That will give you the rest of today to settle into Bartlett and give your mom time to recover from the press interview."
"Whatever."
Janet's voice took on an authoritative tone. "Ryan, please don't use that expression. It is not allowed at Bartlett. It carries with it a degree of bored insolence that is not an attitude that is tolerated at our school."
Ryan looked at Janet ready to rebel, then hesitated. There was something about the no nonsense honesty that Janet had with her that she liked. The principal didn't talk down to her. Besides, she wanted to go to Bartlett, and getting on the bad side of the principal was not the way to do it.
"Sorry," she said, closing up the book and looking out the window. Time for a little role playing. "I guess I'm just nervous about meeting...mom. Ahhhh, she's so beautiful and talented maybe she won't like me," sighed Ryan, dramatically.
To her surprise, Janet burst out laughing. "You are JUST like your mother, at times, girl!"
Robbie steeled herself and then walked into the room that had been set aside for the entertainment press. She walked to the front of the cluster of reporters and stood before the bunch of mikes. "I am happy and proud to finally announce the birth of my daughter, Ryan." Flashbulbs went off in her face, blinding her for a second, the bored group expecting yet another promotional release, surged forward with interest.
"She was born fourteen years ago, and I have supported her secretly until this year. Learning of the death of her father, I was relieved to be able to recognize Ryan as my heir. Ryan recently, was involved in a serious accident that left her in a coma for three weeks. I have been with her during that time and am very relieved to announce that she has made a complete recovery and is now on her way to my home."
"Ms. Williams, who was the father?"
"No comment."
"Was the child born out of wedlock?"
"Yes."
"Ms. Williams, how does Tracy Travelli feel about you bringing your daughter home?"
"I haven't discussed the issue with Ms. Travelli. The rumour that she and I were involved in a serious relationship was simply not true."
"In your father's will, the first grandchild inherited a fortune. Ms. Williams, will you make a claim on Billy-the-Kid's estate now that you have acknowledged that you had the first Williams' grandchild."
"No. Thank you for your time. No more comments." Robbie turned and with relief made for the door followed by a barrage of questions. Thank God that was over!
She took the elevator back up to the administration floor and walked down the hall to her office. Gwen had a phone under one ear and another in her hand. E-mail was flicking up on her screen. "Start with line two, Robbie, it's Alexandria. Then line one, it's Brian. I need a raise."
"I'll build you a house in the country instead, on a lake. The kids will love it!" answered Robbie on her way through to her office. "Order the helicopter, I'm heading north."
A house on a lake?! What was that crazy woman up to now?! Gwen thought, shaking her head and turning back to her phone console.
It was late afternoon. John Bartlett, the supercilious jackass, and used car salesman that chaired the Broad of Trustees, resettled himself in the chair across from Janet's desk. He had been waiting when she got back from settling Ryan into the Maplewood Dormitory. "You understand that the Board does not want to interfere, Ms. Williams, in your personal life, especially at this time when you are still recovering from cancer surgery, and grieving the loss of a fine man such as your husband."
Then why are you here? Janet thought sarcastically while maintaining a neutral expression on her face.
"But I'm sure you understand that as head of the school it is important that you set a high moral tone. We understand that your sister-in-law, Robbie Williams, has been staying at your place and well, she's an actress! And well, there is talk that she is perverted. And now on the way here, I hear it announced on my car radio that she has an illegitimate child! Ms. Williams, do you feel this association is setting the right tone?"
Janet only just stopped herself from going over the desk and ripping the idiot's throat out. She smiled. "My sister-in-law is well liked in this town, Mr. Bartlett. She is truly a talented and intelligent lady. I don't know what would make you think she is perverted. She lives a very upstanding life..."
"Ms. Williams, she is gay! That is a disgusting sin!"
"Mr. Bartlett, this is the beginning of the twenty-first century. Here at Bartlett, we teach tolerance. Ten per cent of all populations, whether lions, seagulls or humans are homosexual. It is a natural variation. I do not object to your religious stand that such behaviour is a sin. But please, do not force your views on me, my school, or the students. And above all do not feel that you are in a position to judge other people's life styles. I remind you that in Ontario discrimination against homosexuals is illegal and that this province now recognizes gay marriages, adoptions, and benefit rights."
"Well, I don't approve!"
Janet shrugged. "Actually, Ryan Williams has just been enrolled at Bartlett by my sister-in-law. I just picked Ryan up and brought her up to the school today. I think that can only do our school good. It is, to start with, good and free advertizing. And, looking at Ryan's C.A.T. scores, we are dealing with a child that is in the top one per cent. She will do our school proud."
"I...ugh...well, the Board will be monitoring the situation to see if there is any impact on the school's image and our enrolment," Bartlett finished stiffly, getting up. "Good day, Ms. Williams."
"Good day," Janet responded, standing but letting The Chair see himself out. Horse's ass, she thought.
At the end of a hard day, Janet went to pick up Reb at day school and Rufus from his pen that Robbie had bought and had set up behind Janet's office window. I've acquired more dependents lately than Rufus has fleas, she thought, as she strapped Reb into her car seat. Rufus jumped in beside Reb effectively filling up the back seat. When Janet got home, she almost cried with relief to see Robbie coming along the porch to meet her.
"Hi, love," murmured Robbie into Janet's ear, as she wrapped her in her arms. "You look tired. I've asked too much of you lately. You need rest; you're still weak from all you've gone through. Are you eating properly?"
Janet snorted and poked Robbie in the ribs. "You, Williams, wouldn't know a well balanced meal if one was put in front of you!"
"Hmmm, I just worry about you," fretted Robbie. "You get in out of the cold, and I'll bring in the rat and her pet rug."
It was great to be sitting with Robbie in the peace and quiet of the cabin and to feel, for a change, really healthy. Tired, she conceded, she was, but it was a good sort of tired. "You nervous about meeting Ryan tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"Be patient, okay"
"I can do patient!" Robbie protested.
"No, you can't. But try. She's got a lot of resentment that has built up over the years."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Robbie?"
"Hmmmm."
"I need to talk to you professionally, principal to parent," explained Janet, getting up and going over to her desk to slide out Ryan's Canadian Achievement Test results.
"Oh boy, she couldn't have got into trouble that quick! Do I have to sit at the desk?"
Janet pulled a face and came back and curled up again next to her lover. "Ryan tests off the scale in some areas, Robbie. Particularly in maths and logical thought."
Robbie's stomach contracted in worry. " But she gets good marks at school!" she protested.
Janet looked at her with disbelief. "I meant, Ryan is very bright. She is actually testing in the top one per cent."
"Maths and logic, huh? She's going to be another egg-head like Lizzy."
Janet rolled up the report and swatted Robbie playfully on the knee. "Robbie! That is just the sort of bigotry I have to fight every day, please don't bring it into my home!"
"So what does this mean?" asked Robbie, taking the report and becoming serious.
Janet watched Robbie's eyes moving as they scanned the data. When they stopped, Janet answered. "She certainly will need some enriched programs to challenge her mind. We'll want to provide her with a lot of support. This is too good a mind to waste. Ryan has had a lot to face and has not had the security of a stable family life to fall back on. We'll want to track her pretty closely."
"I don't want my kid labeled!" snapped Robbie, eyes flashing with rage.
Janet's voice went cold. "We don't label kids. We educate and encourage them to be good citizens. Trust me to do my job right, Robbie."
Robbie sat forward, placing the report on the sled table and leaning her elbows on her knees. She balanced her chin on her hands and stared at the fire. "It's hard not to try to over protect her. I want to be part of her life."
Janet swung her feet to the ground and wrapped an arm around Robbie. "You've got to move slow, Robbie, or she will resent you even more than she already does. Trust the school to help her adjust, okay?"
"I trust you," stated Robbie sincerely, kissing Janet softly. " Hey, it's time for bed, love. The doctor said you've got to get lots of sleep. "
Janet laughed and pulled Robbie to her feet. "We can go to bed but we're not sleeping! I've got a lot of nights to catch up on!"
Robbie kicked a piece of bacon around with her fork. "Ahhh, you like your room, okay?" she asked.
Ryan shrugged, "It's okay."
Robbie nodded and swallowed the bacon that had finally been captured by her fork. "Ahhh, you feel okay, not getting headaches or anything?"
Ryan put down her knife and fork neatly on her plate. "No, I'm fine. That was a great brunch Aunt Janet, thank you."
"You're welcome, Ryan," responded Janet, as she scraped the last of the scramble egg out of the Winnie the Pooh bowl and fed it to Reb.
"I'll go clean up Reb," suggested Robbie, quickly getting to her feet at the possibility of escape.
Janet stayed her with an out stretched arm. "I've a better idea. I'd like to spend some time with Reb. While I was having treatments, I wasn't always there for her. Why don't you and Ryan get out the snowmobile from the shed and go over to the Lodge. You can show Ryan what you are doing over there. I think she'll find it interesting."
"Ahhh, okay," said Robbie, looking trapped and awkward.
Janet gave her a push towards the back door. "You two have a good time and I'll see you back here in a few hours," suggested Janet, giving Robbie a meaningful look and then turning it on Ryan. Robbie smiled weakly. Ryan scowled. Oh boy, this is going to be a long day, thought Janet!
Winter Snows
Part 2 of 4
By Anne Azel
a_azel@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are the property of Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended. The characters and events in the Seasons series are the creation of the author.
My thanks to the readers who have been kind in showing their appreciation of my stories. You are a super group! My special thanks to Lisa and Inga, who are my patient beta readers, and Susan for her comments and insights.
Warning: This story is alternative fiction, please do not read on if you are under age or if such material is illegal in your end of the swamp.
"Watch out for the wolves!" called Janet, as the mother and daughter waded reluctantly through the snow towards the tool shed. "Ted Potts saw a pack up the other side of Blackberry Rock just the other day. If you're lucky you might see them!"
"Aunt Janet has a funny concept of good luck," observed Ryan dryly, as she watched Robbie unlock the shed. "Can I drive?"
"Do you know how?" asked Robbie, entering the shed, and going over to unscrew the cap on the gas tank.
"Sure, the last school you dumped me in had winter survival classes."
"Guess it paid off," muttered Robbie tipping the contents of a plastic gas can down the funnel she had balance in the snowmobile tank. Snowmobiles were the winter work horses and recreational toys of Canada. They were small motorized vehicles that could carry two people, one sitting behind the other. The front of the snowmobile was mounted on short steering skis and the back on a tread for traction and power.
"If we met wolves, what would you do?" Ryan asked looking around the shed.
"Get the hell out of there," responded Robbie tightening the gas cap back on and then checking the oil level.
"Wouldn't you try to save me?
Robbie looked up to meet intelligent green eyes, suddenly realizing that she was on trial. "I guess I'd credit you with enough sense to be right there beside me as we headed for safety. You ready?"
"Yup!" responded Ryan, mounting the snowmobile and putting the key in the ignition. Robbie climbed on behind.
"Is it okay if I hold on?" Robbie asked.
There was a moment's hesitation. "Sure." Robbie held onto Ryan's waist and they headed out. She was impressed with Ryan's driving. She moved out of the shed and down the bank to the frozen lake with care and only opened the throttle on the flat, windswept lake. Even then, she kept close to the shoreline. The kid was no show off and used a good deal of common sense.
Half way down the south side of the lake, Robbie pointed up into a patch of thick pines. Ryan nodded, turning the vehicle around and slowing as they wound up between the trees to the lodge.
"What is this place?" asked Ryan, after she had turned off the engine, and waited for Robbie to swing off the snowmobile first.
"The lodge was built by Janet's great grandfather over a hundred years ago. It's been standing empty for the past forty years anyway. I bought all this land from a lumber company in the Fall and when I saw the lodge, I decide to restore it. We didn't get too far before winter. Things were pretty wild what with Janet being ill."
"She has cancer, right?"
"Yes," muttered Robbie looking away.
"Is she dying?"
Robbie's head snapped around in anger. "No! No, she isn't going to die! Let's go see inside."
Ryan nodded and the two walked in silence through the deep snow to the door. Robbie got out the key to open the new hasp and lock that had been put on, Robbie having damaged the last one breaking in. "Are you gay?" Ryan asked, and Robbie's hand hesitated on the lock.
What the hell do I say now, Robbie wondered? Well, she's going to catch on sooner or later and Janet said it's best to be as honest as you can. "Yes."
"You're in love with Aunt Janet, aren't you?" observed Ryan, enjoying the blush that was raising in her mother's face.
"Is it that obvious?" Robbie sighed, pushing the door open, and indicating that Ryan should go first.
"Oh yeah, a blind man could figure it out. You two give off vibes whenever you are close to each other!" snorted Ryan.
Robbie turned to look at her very mature fourteen year old daughter. "Does that bother you?"
Ryan met the look with hard, cold eyes. "I've been teased by the school girls all my life for being a bastard. Now I'll be the bastard of the queer. I can deal with it. I always have," concluded Ryan, her chin going up in defiance.
Robbie didn't know what to say. The kid was right. She was paying for her mother's actions. They headed up into the living room.
"Are you going to marry her?"
Robbie stopped and turned around. "I wish I could. But I decided a long time ago that I didn't want anyone, you, a partner, anyone to have to share the consequences of...of things I did when I was young that were very wrong. Now, well, it's been a long time and maybe I can afford to get closer to people, but I'm still hesitant to give them my name in case some day they are humiliated to know me. I'm speaking very openly here, Ryan. I hope you understand that I don't want any of this talked about."
Ryan nodded surprised by her mother's candour. "You recognized me. You ought to marry her too. She's okay. Do you think she'd have you?"
Robbie sighed impatiently to hide her own insecurity, and turned around, hands on hips, to look at her daughter again. "Cut me some slack here, okay!"
Ryan pulled a face, and clammed up, walking over to the impressive fireplace. Tracy and Doug had been made overseers of the reconstruction until such time as there was a real job to offer them. They had managed to open up and grade the road in, patch the holes in the roof and clean up the inside of debris before the heavy snows had come. "Hey, there's been a fire in the fireplace! Look it's still smouldering.
Robbie came over and looked. The remaining grey and scorched wood was still warm and smoking. "Someone must have broken in. Maybe snowmobilers or something."
"Or something," came a voice from behind them.
Turning, the two women saw a lean man in a coat way too big for him. The emblem on the sleeve was of a gasoline company. He was dirty and had at least a week's growth of beard. In his hand was a revolver. The man laughed and sauntered forward. "Well, it looks like I'm going to have lots of warm female flesh to keep the cold out tonight, huh?" he joked stopping about three meters away.
"Stay behind me, Ryan," Robbie ordered, pulling the stunned child by the arm.
"Eh, Ryan, you ever done it before?" teased the revolting man. Robbie felt her anger rising to a boil. Stay cool, Williams. Think! She could feel Ryan's hand's on her back. She reached behind and squeezed the cold hand reassuringly. Ryan latched on to her fingers tightly.
The man laughed again, looking them over from head to foot. "You're a couple of hot bitches, that's for sure!" he leered. "But I gotta run an errand before we can have fun so how about you two just step this way," he ordered, gesturing with the gun barrel. Robbie wrapped a protective arm around Ryan, and pushed her on ahead. She followed close behind, walking half turned, keeping her eyes on the man. He led them across the room to a closet.
"Get inside and close the door," he ordered. Robbie gave the closet a quick look. Realizing it would be safe, she gently pushed Ryan in and then followed, closing the door quickly after her. She heard a deadbolt pushed in place and the footsteps of the man retreating.
Beside her Ryan was trembling like a leaf. "Hey, it's okay," Robbie reassured her, taking her daughter by the arm.
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