Robbie watched the first real snow of the season drift down onto the black waters of Long Lake. She was tired. Bone tired. The last few months had been hell. A non-stop merry-go-round of hospital 1 страница

Winter Snows

Part 1

Robbie watched the first real snow of the season drift down onto the black waters of Long Lake. She was tired. Bone tired. The last few months had been hell. A non-stop merry-go-round of hospital visits for radiation treatment, working on the new scenes for the film, editing, dealing with the traumatic issues of radiation sickness and flying in that damn helicopter back and forth to catch time with Janet and Reb.

The worst was over now but she wasn't sure their relationship had survived intact. Huh, what relationship! After the surgery, Janet would no longer let Robbie near her. Oh, they kissed and even hugged at times but they slept in separate beds. At first, it was because she needed time to recover from the surgery. 'You understand Robbie, I'm really tender.' Then it was; "I'm too sick and weak, please don't" or else " the radiation levels in my body liquids are too high!" When she started to lose her hair, Robbie was banned from the bedroom altogether. "I don't want you to see me like this!"

Robbie placed her forehead against the cold windowpane. She felt guilty for feeling resentment. After all, Janet had gone through hell and had never complained. If she needed space, well, that was to be understood...but there was a growing worry in Robbie's gut that the love they had shared, so briefly, was never going to be the same again.

She hadn't seen Janet naked since before the surgery and it was beginning to look like she was never going to! Nor had she seen Janet without the series of scarves and hats that she had bought from the store that specialized in that sort of thing. Robbie sighed, I gotta be patient. Janet is too special a part of my life to give up on! Yet, tonight when she had arrived, she found that even Reb had been sent away. Reb was the only bright spot in her visits recently and now she wasn't even here! The bleep of Robbie's phone brought her out of her moody thoughts.

"Robbie."

"Robbie," came Gwen's quiet voice, "There is a jet helicopter on its way for you. There's been a serious accident in London. An explosion in the school lab. Ryan's in a coma." Robbie sank to a chair, her knees too weak to support her as a shock wave of fear ran through her. "Robbie?"

"How bad is it?"

"I don't know, Robbie," came Gwen's concerned voice. "Bad. The 'copter will take you straight to the hospital. It should be there in about half an hour."

"Thanks, Gwen."

"Keep me posted, Robbie."

"I will." Robbie snapped the phone shut. Her world seemed to be crumbling around her.

Janet fussed with her short hair once more. It was still very short, a sandy fuzz really. Would Robbie hate it? Lots of women cut their hair short these days. Robbie's was fairly short. Janet bit her lip. You can't put this off any longer. She had discussed it at length with her councilor. Either Robbie was going to be able to handle the fact that Janet had only one breast or she was going to be really turned off by it.

It wasn't fair to keep Robbie away. She had been such a rock. She'd been patient and kind and a second mom to Rebecca. Janet could see the hurt in her eyes each time she gently pushed Robbie away. It was so hard. Robbie was beautiful, vibrant and whole. She worked with people like Tracy Travelli. Why would she want to stay with Janet, now? There were even hints in the gossip columns that Travelli might be more than a friend of Robbie's.

But tonight was going to be different. She had wonderful news to start with; the doctor had told her that there was every indication that they had got all the cancer. She'd made Robbie's favourite meal and she'd asked Mrs. Chen to babysit so that they could have a special night together. She started out, then at the last minute put the Blue Jays baseball cap on that Robbie had bought her. Once they had talked a bit, when some of the tension that had developed between them had lessened, then she'd be ready.

"Hi, what are you looking at?" asked Janet coming up beside Robbie as she stared out at the gathering night.

"I'm looking for the helicopter. I'm leaving," stated Robbie tensely.

"What! You only just got here!" exclaimed Janet, sounding more annoyed than she'd intended.

Robbie swung around her eyes flashing and her face tense with stress. "So what! You don't give a damn if you see me or not!"

"That's not true! Look Robbie, I don't need..."

"Yeah, well, I've got some needs too!..."

Janet felt her own temper snap. "I think your needs were well taken care of by Tracy Travelli, or didn't you think I'd heard the rumours?!" countered the smaller woman spitefully.

Robbie turned pale, started to speak and then stopped as the bug-shaped shadow appeared over the trees, bright yellow eyes searching for a landing spot. Without a word, Robbie pushed past Janet and slammed out of the house to catch her lift to London, a city west of Toronto.

Janet stood in shock at the window and watched her go. My God, the rumour was true! Robbie was having an affair with her lead lady! Janet turned and looked around the room, hearing in her memory the happy banter of the good times they had enjoyed together there. Now there was only the tick, tick of the mantel clock to break the silence. On weak legs, she walked over and sank into a chair. It was over just like that. Robbie had left her.

It had been almost three weeks. Some days the young teenager would move or her eye lids would flutter but Robbie knew now not to get up false hope. They were, as the doctor explained, spontaneous, involuntary movements.

Ryan had been mixing some sort of rocket fuel together without the knowledge or consent of the school and the accidental explosion had thrown the girl through a wall. The back of her skull had been cracked and there was considerable swelling of the brain. Tests indicated no brain damage but the girl was not coming out of the coma.

Robbie had worked with her every day. Exposing her to music, reading to her, having her smell different odours or rubbing different textures against her finger tips, anything she could think of to stimulate Ryan's brain to unlock her consciousness. Nothing.

Robbie lifted the small hand. Ryan had long fingers like her own. They were strong, capable hands for a little girl. "I guess you've had to do it on your own, haven't you, kid? I was never there for you. You see, I'm your mother. I was just, eighteen when I had you. I was pretty confused at the time, wild, ya know. I never meant to hurt you, Ryan! I thought I was protecting you from the stigma of who I was. I loved you, you see..." Robbie stammered to a halt, realizing that she'd been talking out loud like, she some times did with Reb.

She wished Reb and Janet were with her. She missed them and needed them. She wished she hadn't yelled those things at Janet. Robbie blinked back tears as she looked at the still form of her daughter. She placed her head down on their clasped hands and tried to think of something that she had not yet tried to help her daughter. "Water," came a faint, gravelly voice.

Robbie scrambled to her feet and ran to get a nurse.

It was late and the weather was nasty. Robbie drove like a maniac through the night, her mind trying to make sense of the warring emotions inside her. All she knew for sure was she hurt inside like hell and needed to be with Janet. How long had it been since she had walked out? Three weeks, maybe? She'd just left Janet to cope by herself. Damn it all to hell! What had she been thinking off!

The windshield wipers struggled to keep back the thick, wet snow. Icy ridges were forming on each side narrowing Robbie's view with each sweep of the blades on the rented car. Just another kilometer and she should see Janet's mailbox at the end of her lane! Suddenly, the lights caught the shape of something brown and huge on the road in front of her. Robbie slammed on the brakes, sending the car's light rear end spinning around so that the wheels caught on the gravel shoulder. The car slid off the road and broadsided the hard packed snowbank left by the township plough, coming to an abrupt stop.

Janet stood at the window. There was nothing really to see. The outside lamp revealed a near white out. It was cold too, the wind howling through the trees. A true, Canadian snowstorm, Janet sighed. Fortunately, it was a weekend, so classes would not be too badly upset by the snow. Still, she would need to get in touch with the duty teachers and make sure everything was under control. Going back to her job full time had helped to fill the void in her life after Robbie had left. Her work allowed her to push back, for a little while, the loneliness and pain that were her constant companions now.

It had only been snowing an hour and already there was several inches on the ground. Janet checked again to make sure she had matches and candles handy and a good stock of wood for the fireplace in case the power went off. Then she wandered back to the window. Where was Robbie tonight? The possible answers to that question made her gut twist with pain.

Robbie leapt out of the car and checked on the snow covered road. No blood. Whatever, had loped across the road, she had managed to miss it. There was a movement to her right and she turned and gasped. Then she took a second look and laughed. There sitting by the side of the road was the biggest, scruffiest, ugliest dog that she had ever seen in her life!

It had long rusty hair which was knotted with burrs and clumps of mud and ice. It had long legs like a sloth and a face, what could be seen for hair, like a bull dog. One ear went down and one went up and its tail, when it stood up and wagged it, seemed to lean to one side. Robbie walked over to the beast in question. "You almost scared the hell out of me! You know that?" A tongue hung from a huge, smiling mouth.

The dog was skin and bones. Robbie remembered Janet telling her that the summer tourists often lost pets in the woods and simply went back to the city without them. "Well, that car isn't going anywhere tonight." She looked back at the dog. "You'd better come with me. I've walked out on too many lives already," Robbie explained bitterly and took off the belt from her coat to make a makeshift collar and leash. Together, they trudged up the road to Janet's lane and then waded through the snow to the cabin.

It was freezing and Robbie could barely see ahead of her. Now that she and the massive dog had turned down into Janet's lane the snow was much deeper. She had to climb over a ridge of snow left by the plough at the end of the driveway and then wade through two foot drifts that ridged the driveway where the snow blew between the pines and built up. Had she wandered off the path? She should be able to see the lights of Janet's cabin by now! She began to realize that her decision to leave the safety of the car and try to walk through the storm had been a poor one. All she wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep!

It was running into the back end of her own truck that alerted Robbie to the fact that she had found the cabin site. Carefully, she edged along to the front of the vehicle, walking blind in the heavy, wind wiped snow. Shit! No lights! Janet must be away. She followed the log wall around to the porch and tried to look in the front window. Nothing, the curtains were closed. Damn! She went around to the door, the big dog close at her side seeking warmth. The door was locked. Fishing into her pocket she hunted for the keys. Cold, numb fingers barely functioned. Had she left her keys in the ignition? The dog snorted in frustration and scratched at the door sensing the warmth inside. Maybe she could find something to break the window, she thought and turned to head for the wood pile just before the sharp crack of the rifle shot shattered the air around her.

Janet was just finishing putting some hot coffee into a thermos when the power went out. Well, that was good timing, she thought, tightening the lid into place. She felt her way across the room to where she had left the matches and candles. Then froze when she heard a thump and muffled footsteps outside. Oh boy! Janet lived alone in an isolated setting and although she loved the solitude of her private lake, she was aware that it left her rather vulnerable. She tip toed over to the phone. Dead.

Fear now grasped at her heart. Okay, don't panic, Janet, she told herself as she heard someone trying to clear the ice and snow to see through the window. She ducked and crawled on her hands and knees over to where she kept her grandfather's old twenty-two. With care, she pushed a number of cartridges in place and then quietly opened the back door to circle around behind the intruder. Through the heavy snow, she could just make out two large black figures trying to get in the door. One suddenly turned and came at her! She fired.

Robbie fell face down in the snow and the huge, big dog landed playfully on top of her. "Don't fire," she managed to yell above the wind. "I'm not armed!"

"Robbie?!"

"Janet?!"

"Oh my God!" Janet ran over and knelt by the body of the tall woman. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know. Did you hit me?"

"Of course not! I shot in the air to try and scare the intruders off!"

"It worked," muttered Robbie rolling over in the snow and sitting up. Janet brushed snow from Robbie. Then she looked up into a big, shaggy face that was sitting near by.

"What is that?!"

"Rufus, meet Janet. Rufus is my dog. I think it's a mix of Tibetan Massif and Tree Sloth."

"Your dog!? Come on, let me get you inside. I think the cold is affecting your reasoning."

Robbie reached out and grabbed Janet's arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things! I..."

Janet reached down and gave the snowy, cold woman a quick hug. "I had it coming. Come on, you're freezing!"

By the firelight, Janet could get a better look at Robbie and the massive dog. She was shocked by what she saw. Robbie was soaked through and the light jacket she had been wearing had been little protection against the harsh elements. She tugged the clinging coat from the woman's shoulders and had her sit near the fire while she ran to get towels and blankets.

Returning, she gently stripped the clothes from the woman she loved, and replaced each item with tender kisses. Robbie moaned with pleasure and pulling Janet close she kissed her with desperate need. Her hands hesitantly moved across Janet's back and pulled her sweatshirt up so that cold hands could stretch across warm flesh. Janet shivered with the touch and then pulled back to let Robbie watch her undress.

It looked... weird, Robbie concluded, to see a woman with one breast and only an angry red scar curved around where the other should be. Then Janet was back in her arms and the touch of her warm skin sent the waves of passion back through Robbie. "I'll understand, Robbie, if you don't want to," Janet whispered emotionally into the actor's ear.

For an answer, Robbie pulled Janet down with her to the rug and made slow, passionate love to her in the rich glow of the firelight. Later, they lay in each other's arms too exhausted to continue but still touching, nuzzling and kissing with a desperate need to be close. "I've missed you. I tried phoning Gwen but she wouldn't tell me where you were just that you'd been called out of town on an emergency. I was so worried, Oby! Is everything all right now?"

Silence, while Robbie tried to find some way to explain. "No. We need to talk but...not just yet, not tonight, okay?"

"Okay. Hmmmm, I need to get Reb. The house is starting to cool and she'll get cold in the nursery. She'll have to sleep here by the fire with us. Is that okay, Robbie?"

Robbie's eyes lit up! "Yeah, go get the ankle biter!" she smiled eagerly.

Janet laughed and gave her lover a hug. "She's missed you terribly."

A sleepy bundle wrapped in a blanket was carried out by her mom. She took one look at her Oby sitting by the fire and launched herself from her surprised mother's arms. "Oby, you come back!"

Robbie caught the diving child out of the air much to Janet's relief and spun her to the ground. "Hi, Rebel. Want to see the dog I brought you?"

"What?!" gasped Janet, but it was too late. Robbie and Reb were all ready playing with the big lump of wet, smelly fur that was passing itself of as a domesticated dog. Janet sighed, bowed to the inevitable, and went to get a tinfoil dish of Cherrios and the left over end of a rump roast for the dog now that the canine mountain had rested and warmed itself by the fire. It would have to do until they could shop for some decent food for the poor animal.

The household routine was a complete washout. The power had come back on in the early hours and Reb, who had played with Oby and Rufus for hours, was put to bed at dawn near to exhaustion. Janet then insisted that Robbie have a shower because she smelt very much like a wet dog. Robbie in her turn insisted that she needed her back washed by her lover.

Janet ran slow, soapy fingers down Robbie's back, curving their path back and forth across rippling muscles. She scooped Robbie's cute butt in both hands and leaned forward to plant a nest of kisses between Robbie's shoulder blades. Robbie turned around and stood looking down at Janet. What Janet saw made a pool of hot lust form low in her being. Robbie's dark hair was soothed back off her face and pearly beads of water trickled over muscles of steel.. Robbie was simple breath taking. Eyes the colour of tropical seas traveled over Janet's exposed body.

"I like your hair like this," Robbie moaned softly, reaching a graceful hand up to play with a truant curl of dark gold. "You look like a pixie."

"Are you comfortable with this?" asked Janet looking down at her scarred and flat right chest.

Robbie lowered her head and kissed along the red line that marked the incision. Then she looked up at Janet. "You are very beautiful, very exciting, and everything I have ever dreamed of having. I wish you hadn't had to go through this but it makes no difference to us. What I love is far more than the package. It is the woman whose soul fits so perfectly with mine."

Janet felt a ball of tension that she had been holding tightly in her heart unravel. She poured a liquid herbal soap on to her hands and painted it gently over Robbie's body. Robbie returned the favour each woman teasing the other to new heights. It ended with them in bed loving each other way into the morning.

Janet lay in the crook of Robbie's arm, her one arm running down Robbie's body and her fingers gently playing in the soft hairs above the actor's sex. Robbie's arm was wrapped around Janet, stroking a flat, hard belly. "I had a child." Robbie announced to the ceiling she was staring at.

Janet froze in shock and then rolled over to look at her lover. "A girl. I called her Ryan. She doesn't know who I am, but I've supported her all these years.

"She was in a lab accident in school," Robbie managed to continue, as tears dripped from the corners of her eyes.

Janet placed a gentle hand on Robbie's chest. "Is she all right?"

"Yes, but she was in a coma for over three weeks. Her skull had been cracked."

"Oh Robbie, I'm so sorry! You were emotionally not ready to take on yet another crisis. Oh my poor love!"

"It was hard. I felt guilty because I was part of Reb's life, but I'd never been part of my daughter's."

"Why, Robbie? Why didn't you raise your daughter?"

"After, after the really bad time in my life, I was really mixed up. I thought I'd be going to jail and I just went wild. I dropped out of university at seventeen and just lived; wild parties, wild times, anything. When I found I was pregnant, I just hid away. I didn't want her to have to grow up with the stigma of being my daughter. I thought I was doing her a favour. It still haunts me now, what I did back then. That's why I don't feel I can offer you anything permanent. I'm always waiting to pay for what happened."

Robbie's body was stiff with tension and the effort it had taken her to tell Janet. "So what do you want to do now, Robbie?" Janet coaxed softly, as she painted patterns with a finger on Robbie's chest.

"I...I...don't know."

Janet sighed inside. This was going to be harder than she thought. Robbie had these huge walls of defense, not to protect herself, but to protect others from her."Robbie, you can't keep beating yourself for things you did wrong as a child! How old are you?"

"Thirty-two."

"So all this happened almost fifteen years ago. Let it pass, Robbie. It's time to stop hiding and live again. Look at all you have accomplished since then! You have added so much to our world. Robbie, we love you and just like you stood by me, I would stand by you, no matter what, because I know what you are now. I am so impressed with what I see in your soul! Robbie, it is you that I would leave my daughter if I were to die." Janet felt the spasm of fear run through Robbie. "Shhhh, it's okay. My first check up was okay."

Robbie wrapped Janet in her arms and rolled the smaller woman over her own body, holding her tight and burying her face in Janet's soft hair. "I don't deserve you," she muttered.

"Hmmmm, yes, you do, my silly olive! So are we going to fetch Ryan home?"

"Yeah, I just don't know how to do that."

"We'll work it out. Does she look like you?" asked Janet, trying to steer the tense woman into safer waters.

"No, well, she's got my build but she's got your colouring."

"Mine!?"

"Yeah, dark green eyes and sandy hair. She's kinda cute," Robbie concluded, with a blush. "She's smart as a whip too and a good athlete. My grandmother had that colouring; maybe she's a throw back."

"Who was the father?"

"My university professor."

"Shit, Robbie! You were seventeen!" the teacher in Janet reacted with contempt.

Robbie shrugged, "He was killed a few years later in a car accident. He was drunk."

"Good riddance!" Janet responded angrily.

Robbie rolled over and gave her a kiss, "Hey, you're cute when you are defending my honour but I told you, I was wild."

"I don't care!" snorted Janet.

Robbie looked deep into Janet's eyes. "She's had a lot of...problems. She doesn't get on too well with other kids and she's always trying things she shouldn't and getting in trouble. Are you sure you want to take on a kid like that?"

"Robbie, I've got a whole school of kids like that!" laughed Janet.

Ryan wiggled her toes, played piano with her fingers, touched her nose with her eyes closed and did all the other silly exercises the doctor insisted on. She had already told the specialist that her responses and reflexes were, as always, above norms. He now knew that to be true.

"You are an unusual girl, Ryan, with a particularly hard head!" laughed the doctor. Ryan didn't laugh. It had nothing to do with hardness, she was just fortunate enough that the lambdoidal suture had opened to release the energy of the impact rather than her skull crushing in, which was by far the more common injury. Clearly her, sutures were not knitted as closely as one would expect for a girl of fourteen. She must ask to see the x-rays.

"Ryan?" asked a blond haired woman looking around the corner, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here, Doctor. I came to visit Ryan."

"That's okay, I'm just leaving," responded the doctor. "I'll sign your release papers for tomorrow, Ryan, and arrange with the nursing station to have someone pick you up."

Ryan nodded. "Thank you, Doctor."

The specialist continued his evening rounds and Janet entered Ryan's room. "Hi, I'm Janet Williams."

"Billy-the Kid's widow. You're the principal at Bartlett. I'd like to go there," responded Ryan seriously. "Did my mother send you? I had assumed that the lab explosion might have been the last straw and I'd be asked to leave. This will be my third school. My mother tends to pick schools based on the strictness of their program rather than their academic excellence."

Janet blinked. She was used to precocious children, but Ryan Williams was something else! "I have been sent by your mother, yes."

"She usually sends the detective that works for her law firm. He hates me," explained Ryan honestly.

"Why?"

Ryan considered this. "Well, I tend to treat him like a dork, and I'm not very co-operative. He tries to boss me around."

"Your mother was very worried about you," Janet said.

"My mother doesn't give damn," came the quick response, eyes cold and flashing.

So the girl wasn't as immune to feelings as she let on. "That is a hypothesis that I don't think would hold up to testing. You have fallen into the trap of making emotional assumptions rather than evaluating the evidence. You don't know your mother," responded Janet, fighting fire with fire.

The chin went up in anger but Ryan checked the retort, looking instead at the petite woman by her bed with some interest. "Do you know my mother?"

"Yes, very well."

Ryan laughed. "Not as well as Tracy Travelli!" she giggled, tossing the Saturday scandal rag in front of Janet. The picture was of Robbie leaving the studio, after promoting her new movie, with her arm around Tracy. The headline read: First Celebrity Gay Wedding? The colour drained from Janet's face. She picked up the paper and read: Reliable sources have told us that Tracy Travelli and Robbie Williams became more than just friends during the shooting of Williams' new film about one of Napoleon's mistresses. Was the leading lady getting personal coaching from the famous actor/director/ playwright?

"That bitch," Janet muttered and then blushed as she realized that she had spoke out loud.

"Which one?" asked Ryan happily.

Robbie leaned over her desk in fury. "I want to know where this information came from!" she growled, slamming her fist on the gossip newspaper that lay on her desk.

"I might already know," drawled Polenski, looking up at the angry face from where he sat in the visitor's chair.

Robbie calmed immediately, and sat down. "Tell me," she ordered in a quiet voice, edged with ice.

"There's been a small town reporter by the name of Lucier asking a lot of questions about you. He's even tried, unsuccessfully, to access files. We think he got wind of your...ahhh... relationship with Travelli and sold the gossip to the tabloid. Travelli was pretty vocal about you running out on her."

Robbie sighed and rubbed her eyes. "This couldn't have come at a worse time for the film and for me. Let's see what we can do to put the wraps on this thing." Robbie spun at her desk and punched a code into her phone. "Hassan? Robbie. Listen, I need some damage control. Get Travelli on some of the talk shows to deny that she is gay. She's smart enough to know if she lets this one out of the bag her image as the Latin Bombshell just fizzled." Robbie hung up and turned back to Polenski. "Get the law firm to talk about a lawsuit. We'll try to put the scare into them."

Polenski nodded and got up and left. Robbie was already on the phone to Travelli. "Have you seen the paper?" she asked angrily without bothering to introduce herself.

"We look cute together!" came the sassy response.

"Latin Bombshells don't fuck gay women, Tracy," Robbie told her coldly, tapping her pen angrily on her desk. "I'm arranging to get you on some talk shows to deny the story. Be good, your Oscar is riding on this performance. I also need you to be seen around town with a male. Pick up some sucker and promise him marriage, okay?"

"But Robbie! I meant no harm!"

"Just do as I say and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage your career and my film!" snapped Robbie, hanging up.

Robbie clipped off her private phone from her belt and pressed one. At the other end, at the Victoria Hospital in London, Janet took out her phone from her purse. "Hello."

"This is Robbie. A scandal rag has just published an article about Tracy and me..."

Дата добавления: 2015-11-04