Fostering Healthy Family Relationships

Fostering Healthy Family Relationships

We hear so much about the dysfunctional family that it may be hard to recognise a healthy one.

However, the factors that promote healthy family relationships are really very basic. The key concepts of open communication, time spent together, trust, respect and love each play an important role. It is the parents who bear the responsibility for modeling these behaviours as they interact with each other and their children, as well as with other adults in the family. Though they may not show it, young children need boundaries and rules as much as they need nourishing food and plenty of sleep. Parents have a responsibility to send children consistent messages about acceptable behaviour. A good example is the need to teach your child to sleep in his or her own bed; this is necessary to develop the child’s independence and protect the bond between parents.

Children grow at different speeds, physically and emotionally. The key is to mold each of them in their own unique way, and shape their will without breaking their spirit. Discipline is essential in establishing safe boundaries for your child. For many children, the “time-out” technique can be safe and effective, if used consistently and lovingly. For others, this technique just doesn’t work. Rewards and punishments, even spanking, are sometimes appropriate. During your child’s well-child exam, ask your physician about discipline principles. Be aware of how much time your child watches television and plays on the computer. Violent video games have been linked to increased aggression, particularly in young boys. Outdoor activities or time spent together as a family, such as playing games or reading books, are better options. Sibling rivalry is a common concern. When a new baby is brought home, the older sibling will often show signs of regression – returning to diapers if he or she is already potty trained, or asking for a bottle even if “sippy cups” have become the standard. Older siblings may act out more dramatically, seeking attention in any way possible. Parents need to recognise that this is generally not willful defiance. Address the older child’s anxiety by letting him or her know that he or she is still loved and valued. Make sure the older sibling is given some “alone time” with Mommy or Daddy on a regular basis. It’s helpful, too, to give the older sibling some care-taking responsibility for the new baby. With supervision, the big brother or big sister could help with feeding or dressing their new sibling, fostering a healthy sense of ownership and protectiveness. By age 14 or 15, Mom and Dad are no longer a child’s primary influences. Instead, friends and schoolmates take centre stage as teens try to develop a personal identity. However, this is no time for parents to step into the shadows. Knowing your children’s friends becomes crucial to maintaining a connection with your changing teen. Invite your teen’s friends to your house after school, or offer the whole group a ride to and from the movies. Above all, keep asking questions about your teen’s after-hours whereabouts and activities. At a time when your growing child might seem more likely to become secretive, do your part to keep the family conversations going.

The relationship between two parents is perhaps the most important bond in the family. Think of it as setting the tone: Love and respect expressed here will spread out to influence everyone else nearby. The best way to foster a close connection with your mate is to spend time together. This key advice may seem difficult to follow when you consider all of the other demands that face parents, but time spent together is a great investment. Secure a trusted babysitter (or join a network of sitters) from the start of your parenting adventure and spend some regularly scheduled time enjoying the pleasure of each other’s company. Living grandparents can be among a family’s richest assets. Grandparents often have more time than parents do for attending school functions and sports activities, and children love seeing Nana or Poppy in the audience. Of course, the role of the grandparents should not be as authoritative as that of the parents, even (or, perhaps, especially) if they live nearby. If conflict over roles arises between parents and grandparents, it’s best to air any concerns honestly but gently. Children can also exert a positive influence over their grandparents, encouraging older family members to take care of their health and stay active later in life.

Дата добавления: 2015-10-21