I had no idea what I was thinking kissing her. But her big blue eyes were looking up at me, then she nuzzled into my chest, begging me to hold on to her, wanting me to protect her. With the smell of sweet vanilla, that lacy pink bra and the wanting in her eyes, I didn’t know what else to do. Something surged up inside me and I answered it the only way I knew how.
I lifted her up to me without thinking. And when my mouth touched hers the softest little feminine sound escaped her lips, driving me crazy with desire. If she made sounds like that from one simple kiss, I imagined what other sounds she would make, from surprise, from pleasure. I’d had to get out of there. Fast. I knew I hadn’t handled it the right way, but was grateful that she’d already forgotten about the kiss by the time her bath was done.
Taylor’s lying flat on her stomach, her head barely visible with a pillow over the top of it. Her legs are kicked apart, tangled in the sheets at the end of the bed. I slept on top of the blankets, needing that physical barrier between us. One of her hands is resting across my stomach. Her palm is pressed flat against me. Her hand is tiny and soft against my skin. I hold my breath when I realize what her hand is resting near. Not that I can help it, I always have one when I wake up. It’s just physiology.
Regardless, I don’t want to freak her out. I remove her small hand and lay it on the bed between us. I’m up and within a few seconds, in the bathroom for a shower.
I let the water warm up while I grab my phone. I’ve missed three calls from McAllister and have two voicemails. Fuck. I’d forgotten to call him yesterday, I’d been too wrapped up in making sure Taylor was okay.
I delete the voicemails without listening to them, and type out a quick text letting him know that Lars found us out, but we’re fine and on our way back. Then I shut my phone down, not wanting to hear what he has to say.
Testing that the water is warm, I quickly strip down and step into the shower. I close my eyes and think of that kiss again while the hot water streams down on me.
Chapter 20
On the drive back, I’m contemplating everything. My old life. My new school. The way I can finally use my computer skills to do something useful. McAllister’s shady assignments. The new friends I’ve made. The irritatingly hot Colt. I try to figure what it all adds up to. I’m still torn about if I should stay or go home.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Colt says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“You do?”
He nods, looking straight ahead at the highway. “You’re trying to figure out if you actually want to stay here. If you can do this.”
I don’t tell him that he’s right. I don’t have to.
“After the first field assignment, that’s pretty normal.”
I want to ask him if he considered leaving too, but I don’t want to give everything I’m thinking away.
“What I saw in you yesterday.” He steals a look at me. “I think you could be great at this.”
“You suck at pep talks.”
He laughs. “Yeah. They’re not my specialty. But seriously, Taylor, don’t give up yet.”
I have no idea why he’d be so concerned with me staying, but it’s nice to hear all the same. “If I do stay. There’s something I want from you.”
“Name your terms,” he says with a smirk. I can tell he’s enjoying this.
“I don’t want to get my ass kicked again. I was completely defenseless against that guy.”
Colt stops me, holding up his hand. “That was my fault, I should have never let him get close to you.” His face is sullen. I can tell he blames himself.
“No. If I’m going to do this, I need to know how to protect myself. I can’t rely on you, or anyone else to be there every time. I’ll need some private lessons.” I look over at him to see if he’s buying this. He nods. “And none of that self-defense basics crap you’re teaching us in class. I mean the real ass kicking stuff. Like what you did to Lars.”
He chuckles. “So you think my class is crap?”
“You know what I mean. I need the real stuff.”
He nods, solemnly. “We’ll start tomorrow.”
“But my ribs,” I interrupt.
“You’re going to wuss out on me?”
I smile, rolling my eyes. “I’ll be there.”
***
When we get back to the school, I’m too late to make any of my classes, so I opt to lay down in the dorms for a bit. Luckily, they’re empty. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I don’t know how honest to be with MJ and Logan about how horribly wrong this assignment went. And the last thing I want to do is face McAllister, though part of me would like to grill him about why he’d let a seventeen year old girl go do his dirty work. Asshole.
I must have fallen asleep, because a little while later, MJ is sitting on my bed, tickling me into consciousness. Ouch. “MJ, no.” I cradle my side. “My ribs.”
She lets out of a string of curse words, momentarily slipping into a language I don’t recognize, but the tone is unmistakable. “What happened?”
“Let’s just say we made contact with the target. And I have the bruises to prove it.”
“Wow. No shit?”
I nod.
“That’s crazy.”
Yeah. My thoughts exactly.
I fill her in on some of what happened, leaving out the details about Colt drawing me a bath, and kissing me, for obvious reasons. I didn’t doubt MJ would have no problem pummeling me herself for falling for Colt’s attempts. But she senses part of the story is missing.
“What happened between you and Colt?” She wags her eyebrows. “Alone in a hotel room for three nights?”
“Nothing happened. He’s still Colt, but I guess he’s not so bad to work with on assignment.”
“That’s cool.”
I’m relieved she lets it drop. She fills me in on what I missed over the weekend. And I’m surprised to see, it actually feels good to be back.
The next morning, I head down to Colt’s classroom, like we agreed, to get an early morning workout in before classes began. Only he’s not there. I wait for a few minutes, then wander out into the hall to look for him. Instead I run into McAllister.
“Where’s Colt?” he demands.
“I don’t know. I was looking for him too.”
“He wasn’t in his room this morning. Doesn’t look like he’s been there at all. As the lead agent on this case, he should have reported in to me last night when you got back.” He turns and paces. “Instead – I get a one line text from him saying things went south.”
My stomach tightens. “Yeah, Lars found out about us.”
“I know that and we’ve been dropped from the case.”
I’m about to apologize for botching the assignment, when I spot Logan heading toward us. Grateful for the distraction, I wave Logan over.
He strolls up whistling and says good morning.
“There he is,” McAllister says, looking down the hall.
McAllister frowns as Colt walks toward us, straightening his wrinkled shirt and running his hands through his hair.
“Where’ve you been?” McAllister questions, no concern in his voice.
Colt glances at me before answering. “I got a call last night, and then I, uh, I had to leave.”
Logan and I exchange a glance. “You got a call. Last night. And then you left. And you were gone until just now?” I question.
He nods, looking sheepish.
I shake my head, unable to hide the sarcasm I feel. Logan grins next to me.
“What am I missing?” McAllister asks.
Logan steps forward. “It’s what’s known as a booty call, sir.”
My eyes flick to Colt’s, wondering if that’s where he’s been. His eyes are cast down at the floor, but he glances up at me through his eyelashes looking…guilty? My chest tightens. It hurts to think about where he’s been. And I’m pissed to discover that it hurts.
Logan continues, completely oblivious to the stinging ache in my chest. “You see, Mr. McAllister when a girl likes a boy…”
McAllister turns, looking from Colt, back to Logan, trying to catch on.
Colt elbows Logan in the side.
Logan shifts back a step, but continues. “A girl may have a bit to drink and begin reminiscing about this boy she likes. She’ll then call him, or if she’s extra classy.” He winks. “She’ll send a text inquiring about…”
“Enough.” Colt steps closer to Logan, and his proximity is all that’s needed to shut Logan up. No one wants to cross Colt.
McAllister turns to Logan. “You’ve been very informative. But if you’ll please excuse us.”
“Good luck.” Logan says to me before sauntering down the hall.
“You two have some explaining to do.” McAllister’s eyes fall on us, waiting.
“Bullshit.” Colt steps forward. “You sent Taylor out too early, and you know it.” Colt grabs my arm. “Come on, Taylor.”
I am stunned by their interaction. I glance back at McAllister, who’s still standing in the hall. “Wait, shouldn’t we…”
“No.” Colt pulls me toward his classroom. “I’m not going to talk with him when he’s just going to blame us for what happened. We did nothing wrong.”
We step into the classroom and Colt flips on the lights.
“So…” I try to ease the heavy silence between us. I can’t help but wonder if spending three nights with me has anything to do with Colt’s pent up sexual needs, and last night’s booty call. I shake the thought from my head. This is how he operates. “What are we going to start with?”
Colt heads to the desk, and empties his pockets. Wallet, cell phone, keys, loose change, gum. Wow who knew guys carry so much in their pockets. As soon as he sets his phone on the desk it begins to buzz. I glance at the screen.
“Someone named ‘ Yes’ is calling.” I pick up his phone.
He snatches it from my hand and roughly tosses it in a drawer.
I laugh. “Who’s Yes? The girl you were with last night?”
He turns and faces me, giving me the full effect of his eyes on me. I suck in a breath, trying to steady myself.
“I know what you think about me. And the thing is, you’re right. I’m never going to be the guy who’s able to do to the whole monogamous, one girl at a time commitment thing. No thanks. That shit doesn’t work. So yeah, she’s in my phone like that, because she always says yes and doesn’t expect anything else from me. Happy now?”
I huff out a frustrated breath. Anytime I start to think there may be a deeper side to Colt, he goes and shows his true self, confirming that without a doubt, he’s an asshole.
“Colt, I will have no problem kicking your ass today, for girls everywhere. So let’s get started.” I turn away from him and head to the center of the room. My hands are shaking, but I’m grateful at least my voice sounds self-assured, feigning confidence I don’t feel.
Chapter 21
I follow Taylor to the center of the room and stand directly in front of her, my height exaggerated with her so close. She doesn’t even clear my chin. Her face is calm like I have no effect on her, but her hands are balled into fists at her sides. I can tell she’s exasperated by me, just like I am by her.
“There are three main things I want to work with you on over the next few weeks. We’ll practice self-defense techniques for standing, when you’re pinned to the ground, and when fighting someone with a weapon.”
She nods. “Sounds good to me.”
“We’ll start with what to do when your attacker gets you down on the ground, since it can be the most vulnerable position.” I place my hands on her shoulders, looking down at her solemnly, wondering how she’ll be able to protect herself from someone like Lars if I wasn’t around. Maybe I should talk to McAllister about pairing us up together permanently. Distracted by her blue eyes, I look over the top of her head, shaking the thought away. That’s crazy, right?
“Stick to standing as much as possible, that way you can strike your opponent and run away.”
She nods again, looking up at me with trust.
“But despite your best attempts at that, you may get taken to the ground.” I sweep her feet out from under her, forcing her to the ground and lay her gently on her back against the floor. I lie down on top of her, pinning her underneath me.
She lets out a little gasp at the quickness of it and my pulse spikes.
“You okay?” I lean back, studying her.
“Fine.” Her voice is soft.
“Okay then.” I shift, conscious of keeping most of my weight off of her. “When someone’s on top of you, your natural instinct is going to be to push them off of you.”
She pushes against my chest.
I smile down at her. “That’s the wrong thing to do.”
She drops her hands, realizing she’s been outmaneuvered, her lips pulled into a tight line. Damn it, I need to stop looking at her mouth.
I clear my throat. “Pushing against someone at this distance, when they have the upper hand isn’t going to do anything.” Balancing my weight on my elbows, I take her hands, and bring them up to my shoulders. “Instead pull your attacker closer. Wrap your arms around my neck, and pull me toward you.”
She pulls my head flat to her chest.
I breathe her in. Vanilla, clean body wash and feminine sweetness. I find my voice, remembering the lesson. “Good. You’ve incapacitated me from punching or hitting you. Now wrap your legs around my back, interlocking your ankles.”
She brings her legs up and I feel them wrap firmly around my back holding us in place. Damn. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
“Good. Now with your attacker close, you want to drive your thumbs right into his eye sockets.”
She places her thumbs over my eyes, without applying pressure.
“And remember, in the real thing, you’re not just poking him in the eyes, you’re trying to blind him.”
“Got it.”
“And after the eye gouge, unhook one of your legs from my back, and slip your knee underneath me, sweeping us both over to the side so you can take the top mount position.”
She unhooks one leg, then pushes up and over, causing us both to roll and her to land on top of me, pinning me to the floor with her thighs.
I clear my throat, looking up at her. “Um, good.” I take a second to catch my breath, watching her. Her cheeks are flushed too. “Now you start punching, choking, and doing whatever you have to do.” I pick up her hands and imitate moves like she’s hitting me. She’s like my puppet. Her mouth lifts up in a smile. “Within a few seconds, he’ll stop fighting and bring his arms up to block his face. And then you hop up and run. And keep running until you’re safe.”
She smiles down at me, letting her hands drop. “Can we do that again?”
I sit up and lift her off of me.
We practice the moves again and again, and each time we repeat it I can see her confidence grow, knowing she can free herself.
She begins to get faster at freeing herself and after a few times, we were both sweaty and out of breath. She straddles me again, grinning that little smirk that I both love and hate. I smile back at her unsure what she’s thinking.
“What?” I breathe.
She shakes her head. “Nothing.” But the way she’s looking at me says otherwise.
Sitting in my lap, she shifts ever so slightly, and that’s when I notice it. Fuck. When did that happen? She’s gotten me hard.
I can tell that exact second she notices it too. Her body tenses, her sweet mouth forming into an “O” in utter surprise, and then something else…curiosity? I watch her, barely breathing. Then her lips curl into a grin. She laughs and punches me in the chest. “Mr. Palmer,” she chides, still laughing.
This is not an area of my body I like people laughing at. In one quick motion, I pick her up, lifting her from my lap and stand, leaving her sitting on the floor. Even though I’ve tried time and again to convince myself there’s nothing between us, I can’t deny the chemistry we have.
I turn away, but in a room filled with mirrors, there’s no hiding from her watchful gaze. I reach for a towel, wiping the sweat from my neck. “We’re done. Go shower.” My voice is rough, commanding.
I can tell she’s thinking Yes didn’t satisfy me completely, not when she’s having this effect on me in her sweat pants and T-shirt. And my body can’t deny it – it’s completely true.
I turn and leave without a word, desperately in need of a cold shower.
Chapter 22
During my classes, I day dream about Colt, remembering his kiss, and the strange encounter we’d had during the lesson this morning. Luckily MJ and Logan do a sufficient job of keeping me distracted.
When we sit down at lunch MJ shifts uncomfortably in her seat, making a face. She leans in closer toward us like she’s about to let us in on a secret.
“What’s up?” I ask, around a bite of bagel.
“I’m not sure,” she winces, shifting her weight in her chair. “Something’s wrong.” She drops her eyes to her lap. “Down there.”
Logan and I snap to attention, meeting each other’s eyes. Then Logan eagerly digs into his cereal, clearly not wanting to be having this conversation. Which leaves MJ looking at me, wiggling in her seat. Oh good God.
“So….what seems to be the problem, ur, technically speaking,” I manage.
She presses her lips together and grimaces. “I’m not sure if I picked something up, or if my piercing is infected.”
I make a face. I don’t want to judge her, but ew. Major ew. “O-kay.”
She clenches her fist on the table. “Yeah, we’re gonna need to go to the doctor.” She drums her fingers. “ASAP.”
“And how do you propose we do that?” Logan asks. “We have classes all day, it’s not like we can just skip and have it go unnoticed.”
MJ perks up. “We’ll ditch Defense Techniques tomorrow. Taylor will ask Colt and since Colt likes her, he’ll let us go.”
“Yeah, right,” Logan scoffs, digging back into his cereal.
“Please, Taylor?” MJ begs.
“Colt doesn’t like me.” I don’t know where she’s gotten that idea. But it’s ridiculous. More ridiculous than not knowing if you have an STD or an infected piercing.
“Pfff,” MJ exhales. “That’s why he’s always staring at you, frustrated and confused about why you don’t like him. He’s not used to that you know. He doesn’t know what to make of you.”
I hold up my hand. “First, he does not like me. Second, I strongly doubt he’ll let us out of class, but I’ll try.”
I’d forgotten about the plan to take MJ to the doctor by the time I was in Independent Study. I’m steadily researching the latest assignment McAllister’s given me when MJ and Logan come strolling into the computer lab.
“We need your help,” MJ announces, plopping down into a chair beside me.
“With what?” I ask, not looking up from the screen. Logan leans closer, watching me as I work.
“A little space.” I angle my chair away from him. I don’t know if our assignments are confidential from other students, but I have the sense to shield what I’m doing from view. Logan takes the hint and sits down next to MJ.
“We need to look up a clinic for tomorrow morning. Somewhere that’s free or takes cash, so I don’t have to use my medical insurance and have my parents get the bill.”
I look over at her, impressed for once that she’s shown maturity and rational thought.
“Logan’s idea,” she says, reading my mind.
Logan swings his chair around closer. “And we don’t want to use the computers in the common room, since the history is traceable.”
“Oh, of course.” I gesture to the computer in front of MJ. “Search for whatever you want. I’ll wipe it clean afterwards.”
“Thanks.” She smiles.
Logan and MJ search for free clinics while I continue working on my latest hacking assignment.
“Here’s one, twenty miles away, they’re open until four.” MJ taps the screen. “Write down this address, Logan.”
I take a peek at the screen. “How are we going to get somewhere twenty miles away? Cab?”
They exchange a look.
“What?” What am I missing?
“Ah! We’ve got ourselves a first timer here, Logan.” MJ grins.
“First time for what?” I ask.
Logan chimes in, “Don’t worry, we’ll go easy on you.”
“Seriously, what are you guys talking about?”
MJ stands, folding the address into her jeans pocket. “The fuck truck.”
I learn that the fuck truck is the endearment for the old beat up pickup truck the school lets students use ‘in case of emergency,’ like picking up a prescription, or going to the dentist. In reality it’s used for fast food runs and parking sessions for couples, hence its name.
That explains how over the weekend, Dane went out and came back with enough fast food to feed our entire class and a several drug store bags filled with condoms. All of the guys proudly filled their pockets, while the girls looked on. Only MJ was bold enough to join in, taking several herself. Now if we could just get her to actually use them. Baby steps.
MJ explains the guidelines for the truck, you can’t use it more than once in a two-week period, and only those with a valid driver’s license can sign it out. She doesn’t have one, but Logan and I do; only he’s already used it in the past two-weeks.
In the morning, we walk to Colt’s classroom, and craft our plan. “I’ll just say MJ needs to go to the doctor, I need to sign out the fu– truck, and since it’s a stick, we need Logan to drive.”
MJ shakes her head. “You can’t say it’s for me. Colt hates me ever since I told him off after he messed with Jewel.”
“Well what the hell am I supposed to say, then? What other reason could I have for the three of us needing to leave together?”
We step into the classroom, and MJ shoves me forward toward Colt. Please, she mouths, clearly still uncomfortable about her situation down below.
Colt looks at me with amusement in his eyes. “Yes?” He draws out the word, his deep voice rolling over me.
Under his scrutiny it’s hard to think. I’m not nervous in the lying-to-a-teacher type of way, more like nervous in the I-hate-you-but-still-think-you’re-sexy kind of way. I clear my throat, stalling. I still haven’t decided what to say. “Um… vaginas …” Heat races up neck and have to look down.
“Vaginas?” he asks, curiosity sparking in his eyes.
I nod. “Girls have them,” I add brilliantly.
“Excellent observation. They do, indeed.”
What the eff am I talking about?
He waits with an expression of humor and something else... The silence presses down on me. Students mill around waiting for class to begin.
“Is there anything else I can help you with, Taylor?” he asks, suppressing a grin.
“Um, I need to take care of some lady issues today. Can I have a pass out of class?”
He gives me a once over, looking troubled. “Everything alright?”
I manage a nod. “Mm-hm.”
“Go have it taken care of.”
“Thanks.” I turn to Logan and MJ who are giving me looks of encouragement from the door. Thank God they’re out of earshot so they can’t hear me give Colt an anatomy lesson. “Oh, and I need Logan to drive me and MJ for moral support.”
His brows knit together.
“Please?”
He nods once, unsure if he’s being taken advantage of or if I truly have something wrong with my lady parts, but unable to pry any further.
I escape out the door, linking arms with Logan and MJ as we jog down the hall.
Chapter 23
Logan creeps up behind me and MJ in the hall on Friday night.
“Fight club tonight,” he whispers between us.
“Sweet.” MJ grins.
“What does that mean?”
“You’ll see,” Logan says, swishing my hair over my shoulder as he saunters away.
“Let’s go get ready.” MJ pulls me by the hand toward the stairs.
I don’t know what fight club is, or why it requires a push up bra and extra eyeliner, but I dutifully follow MJ’s lead. She’s no longer satisfied with me sitting on her bed watching while she does her make-up, instead, and after that first time I let her, we’ve graduated to her insisting on doing me up each time too. Even though I complain throughout the process, I find that I actually like the effect.
In between swipes of lip gloss, MJ explains, “The second year guys go down to the local Karate school and round up a bunch of guys. They bring them back here and basically throw down.”
She pulls back, studying her work before she runs her fingers through my hair, and spritzes me with hairspray.
“There are always cute boys here on fight club nights. Fun times await, my friend.”
“So what exactly is fight club?” I press my lips together, rubbing in the sticky lip gloss.
MJ changes into a tighter pair of jeans and I look away as her bare behind flashes me. “Did you ever hear of an old movie called Fight Club?”
I shake my head.
“In the movie these guys create a social club for fist fighting. Same concept. It’s practically a Wilbrook tradition now. They’ve been doing it for years.”
“So what they just beat the crap out of each other for fun?”
“Pretty much.”
I shudder involuntarily. “Do girls ever…participate?”
“I’ve only seen it once. They mud wrestled in white T-shirts after the guys hosed down the floor, turning the whole place into a giant mud pit.”
“Let me guess. Bria’s idea?”
“You’re catching on, Beckett.”
She puts her arm around my shoulders and we head down to dinner.
***
Once darkness falls, MJ and I follow the stream of people outside. I don’t know where we’re headed, but the excitement of fight club has invaded the atmosphere, turning everyone into giddy hooligans. We venture behind the school, heading across the wide expanse of grass to the barn in the distance.
“Won’t we get in trouble for having an event like this on school grounds?”
MJ pulls out a smoke, balancing it between her blood red lips. “We’re not on school grounds.”
“What do you mean?”
“The school sold this chunk of land and these out buildings a few years ago.” She steps under a broken down wire fence, holding it up for me to cross under.
“So we’re trespassing?”
“If you want to get technical about it.”
“Gee, that makes me feel so much better.”
“Just shut up and come on.” She pulls me by the sleeve behind her.
We reach a giant barn that looks like it’s on the verge of collapsing. The wood is rotting in more places than not and the moonlight streams in through the many nooks and crannies of the unstable structure.
Against my better judgment I follow MJ inside, crouching under a boarded up doorway.
The barn is one big open space, the ceiling crisscrossed with rough beams. A string of bare light bulbs hangs from the center of the ceiling. It’s more crowded inside the barn than I thought it’d be. And warmer too. People huddle together in groups talking. Both classes are here, along with about a dozen other faces I don’t recognize.
There are a few guys sparring in the corner to warm up. I spot Dane and Drake, the buff identical twins in my grade. They are both shirtless, taking jabs at each other. The atmosphere around us is sexy and dangerous, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
Once inside, I instantly lose MJ. She’s no doubt off to scope out the crowd. I’m sure she’ll resurface soon with a run-down of the karate hotties.
I spot Colt in the center of the fighting ring that’s been set up in the middle of the barn. He’s talking to a group of guys I don’t recognize. They must be from the karate school. He catches my eye and excuses himself from the group, heading my way.
Crap. I scan the barn, searching for MJ, not wanting to get sucked into a conversation with Colt after skipping his class earlier. But she’s nowhere to be found.
Colt walks up, shirtless, wearing dark jeans, looking like sex on a stick. Lord help me. “Hey Beckett.” His deep voice rolls over me.
“Mr. Palmer.”
He rolls his eyes.
“So what are you doing out here?” He leans against the wall next to me. “This doesn’t seem like your scene.”
I continue watching the crowd in front of us, which takes a massive amount of concentration with him so close, and did I mention shirtless? “How do you know what my scene is?”
He nods. “Fair.”
I’m torn between blowing him off completely and apologizing for skipping class. My manners win out. “Sorry about missing class.”
“It’s cool. Just don’t make a habit of it.” He takes a swig of his beer. “Otherwise I’ll have to start acting like an actual teacher and that’ll just piss me off.”
“Taylor!” MJ shouts. “There you are.” She walks over to Colt and I like I was the one that deserted her.
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