Levi isn’t a pessimist, but he always thinks of the worst options because often it is the worst option that occurs. The worst option when venturing outside the wall? Being separated from one’s daemon.
“They are strong,” Kiva whispers, though her voice is miserable. She is unsettled by the unusually cold weather anyway, but her mood is doing nothing to relax Levi. He doesn’t show it, would never dream of showing it, but his emotions are running rampant in his mind.
He’s never felt like this before and he hates it.
Yet he loves it at the same time.
They wake early to find that the scouts have already left. Levi had been looking forward to seeing them off (hidden, of course, he doesn’t want to see Erwin yet), but he turns to training in vigour. Sweat is pouring off of him by the time lunch comes around and he shakes Erd off, focusing on stamina training instead. He won’t stop until Erwin returns, it seems like a fair trade.
They all know when the scouting legion has returned. A bell tolls further out and soon the clatter of exhausted horses fills the yard. Tired soldiers dismount and regroup, hands reaching for one another to confirm they are indeed alive and safe.
Levi ceases training, stepping away from the reunion ceremony. People are happier than usual, though no one is happy. Casualties are down, it seems and Levi wonders if Erwin has already gone to report their mission findings to the higher ups.
Levi passes Mike as he wanders the corridors. They are near the medical wing – the most equipped wing the scouting legion has access to and filled with their wounded – and it hasn’t even occurred to Levi that here is where Erwin might be lurking.
It only takes one look at the way Mike is standing pressed against his daemon with his hands clenched in her fur that Levi knows what he will find inside. Kiva instinctively jumps onto her place around his neck and burrows her head deep against Levi’s skin. Inside the ward, daemons of all shapes and sizes are reacting the same way, all keeping close to their humans and shying away from the end of the ward, where a curtain surrounded one area completely.
It is almost unnaturally still and Levi feels bile rise in his throat as he thinks of what lies behind that curtain. No one should ever have to sacrifice so much and Levi doesn’t need to be told that this happened through Erwin sacrificing himself for something.
“Ardis,” Kiva whines, claws digging into Levi’s skin. He places a hand on the curtain and slips through, eyes widening slightly at the sight before him.
“Erwin,” he murmurs softly, though the man doesn’t hear him, eyes focused on something neither of them can see. He is pale, but alive. He is shaken, and Levi knows he would have continued their expedition to the highest calibre, no matter what, as it is most likely the first time Erwin has sat down and really taken in what happened beyond the wall.
“Ardis,” Kiva whines again, claws digging in even more. The discomfort helps offset the wrongness of the situation and Levi finally tears his eyes from the shadow of Erwin to look at the bed. Ardis lays still, eyes closed and body limp. She is alive, but the bandages she is wrapped in mean there is no knowing when she will wake.
Regardless of what he feels, Levi knows that Erwin will need him and he is prepared to give him everything he needs.
*
Tbc. Thank you again for the wonderful comments, have a lovely weekend! Also sorry for all the spelling mistakes, they will be cleaned up when this is finished/reposted:)
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Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 6/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-04 02:44 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 6/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-04 02:45 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 6/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-07 09:21 (UTC) - Expand
[Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7a/?
(Anonymous)
2013-10-06 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Warning: this part contains animal death. Also beginning the descent into the NSFW areas onwards from his part. Nothing in here though, I’m afraid.
*
Training goes well. The horses respond well to the formation – they are herd animals after all and being in smaller groups cuts down their nature to spook each other – and his soldiers begin to grow comfortable with the formation.
“One more time for today and then we’ll pack up for the night,” Erwin calls from the back of his bay gelding. They’re setting out tomorrow morning and it’s prudent everyone gets a good night’s rest. They’ll all need to focus heavily the following day.
They run the drill again, practicing when Erwin calls out. He shouts for standard titans, aberrant titans, trees, anything he can think of, and is pleased when the formation responds. Of course they’ll be more spread out when they exit the safety of the walls, but everyone has the basics down.
Daemons have been practicing with them too and Erwin is pleasantly surprised. He’s asked that the daemons who can accompany them as it’ll provide less distraction and the soldiers will be able to focus on the mission. This is a strategy mission, one that requires all confidence to be on their mission, not back with their worried daemon.
Erwin calls for the end of their training session and they make their way out of the large training field and towards the stables. Erwin rubs his horse down and goes to fetch his dinner. When he returns with a bucket and hay net, Ardis is curled up against the horse’s side, the pair dozing softly on the ground. The horses all get rest when they know they can; they can always sense when there is a mission ahead of them.
“Here you go, boy,” Erwin says softly and his gelding rises with a content snort, playfully butting Ardis with his muzzle. Ardis wags her tail and they leave the horse to his dinner, smiling at the yard staff who will make sure he’s tucked in properly later.
Soldiers join him as he walks back and they commend Erwin on his formation strategy. He sees the slight worry in their eyes and makes sure to reassure them all with a firm hand.
“We can win against them,” he says, believing it with his entire heart. “This is the first small step on the way for humanity winning.”
A squirrel daemon chatters with wide eyes and a lemur springs away from its human to walk beside Erwin for a few moments. He can tell that these people believe his words, they respect him, and he will do everything he can to bring them back alive.
Yet if they die? Erwin is willing to risk that too. He doesn’t owe individuals anything. It is humanity he is fighting for, not individual humans.
The barracks are in a separate building to Erwin’s office and quarters, but he follows the soldiers in and orders anyone he sees out to bed. They have a harsh day tomorrow and he will not have people dying from lack of sleep.
Taking his own advice, Erwin and Ardis head straight to bed. Ardis curls against him and he holds her tightly.
“Take care tomorrow,” Erwin whispers into her fur. She grunts back, but Erwin can feel her true reply in his gut. She’ll do all she can, she reassures. She has no intention of fading to dust.
They take whatever sleep they can get, but Erwin wakes in messed up sheets, the fabric twisted around his thighs and pillows displaced onto the floor. Ardis sleeps through it all, but Erwin can’t help the twist of nerves in his stomach. He rarely gets them, but he thinks now is as good a time as any. Titans can’t be predicted, no matter how many plans Erwin backs his originals up with. Still, this formation is designed to give them all more time and time should be all Erwin needs to come up with a new plan.
In theory.
He is thankfully asleep again when dawn comes and he wakes at his usual hour. The air has a slight chill to it, but it is refreshing and a good omen. Erwin suits up quickly before striding purposefully to the training grounds.
The scouting legion is there, cloaks fluttering in the light breeze, tens of wings beating in time with human hearts. Today is their day and Erwin nods for them to collect their horses.
The horses have been tacked up already and greet their riders with enthusiasm. Despite the danger, they do enjoy the long runs the outside world provides, and Erwin’s horse bobs its head as Erwin mounts, a little too eager to set off.
“Shh,” Erwin soothes, lowering his hands. “We’ll be off soon.”
And so they are. It feels natural to lead a column of soldiers and Erwin keeps his back straight, eyes focused on their exit. It’s early enough for them to trot through the empty streets – the only ones out now are those selling goods and their stalls are set up enough to the side for the legion to pass.
It doesn’t take too long before they approach their final barrier. The door to the outside world opens and Erwin shoots a look down to the ground, down to where Ardis is panting in excitement. He spares a few more glances to check other daemons and can only find anticipation. They didn’t join the scouting legion to sit behind desks, this was their true calling.
Erwin raises his right arm as the gates open and their horses erupt into a gallop. Daemons surround them and for a moment, all Erwin can feel is giddy excitement. He catches the eye of his corporal and smiles, looking next for the hulking form of a bear and nodding his head to Mike.
The horses rein in to a canter, a pace that they will be able to keep up, and groups branch off. Fingers check pouches where the smoke guns are kept and Erwin shouts out to everyone, telling them that they can do this.
It takes a short while before the first shot is fired and they move the formation accordingly. Ardis lets out a bark in frustration as another daemon – a puffin – swoops too low, but it is a minor blip and Erwin just shakes his head, leaning forwards in the saddle a little more so his gelding pushes on a bit.
Though he warned his soldiers about the possibility an aberrant might occur, it is when they are in their second phase of training (around early afternoon) that the first plume of black smoke streaks towards the sky. It is close to Erwin’s group and he indicates for the formation to turn slightly to the left. He needs to know that they can out manoeuvre titans and that they can take down aberrants easily with this formation.
So Erwin goes, allowing his corporal to take charge in a clumsy swapping of guns. Mike is in his group too and Erwin trusts their judgement almost as much as his own.
The titan is an ugly one, even by titan standards. It has polished off five soldiers by the time Erwin and two support groups have arrived. There are no trees around and Erwin nods for Ardis to stand back for the moment. This is going to be difficult and Erwin will need the full cooperation of his soldiers.
They circle the titan, ignoring its open maw and droopy eyes. It has thinning hair and stubby arms, but that doesn’t stop it from dancing its way unpredictably around them. Erwin grits his teeth and nods for a pair to attack. He is standing behind the titan and watches in satisfaction as they move in perfect synch and manage to trip the titan, the third member of their group slicing the neck of the titan and killing it.
All in all it is over quickly with minimal fuss. Hardly any soldiers died (relative to those still alive), but Erwin returns to his horse in horror. His heart drops and his stomach churns as he takes in the sight of his horse on its side, stomach opened by a rib that has cracked, most likely from when the titan lashed out.
There is an even more horrifying sight beside the gelding though. Ardis is struggling to stand, her hindquarters trapped by the horse’s corpse. Pain lances up Erwin’s own back and he knows she has taken serious damage. There is nothing he can do though and adrenaline courses through his veins as he sees red smoke flare up from across the formation.
With every step he takes, the pain intensifies, but Erwin keeps a stern face. Daemons around them flee to their humans, tucking against them where they can or whimpering as they watch Erwin push the dead horse off of Ardis. It is unnatural to see a hurt daemon, even in the scouting legion, and Erwin takes her in his arms tenderly, fighting off the shock that is creeping in to overtake him.
They cannot rest beyond the walls.
A horse is led beside him. The whites of its eyes are showing and its head is raised high in fear. Erwin grabs the reins a little more harshly than intended and puts Ardis gently across the shoulders of the horse. He mounts behind her and pulls the horse’s head in, the only way he can get the horse to calm down.
It seems to sense Erwin’s power and submits, white foam falling from its mouth to the floor. Fighting titans is as stressful for the horses as it is people and Erwin knows that they are done for the day.
Mike and the corporal share worried looks as Erwin returns to them. He doesn’t say anything, just accepts his guns and fires the round that signals for a retreat. He’s found out enough about his formation and his entire mind is screaming out for his daemon. She isn’t dust yet, but Erwin can feel her slipping away and fear is beginning to claw at him from the inside out.
The mission can be counted a success and it is perhaps one of the first times they ride through the lower towns with their heads held high. In total, thirteen men and women were killed, the lowest number of fatalities a mission has ever seen (though their purpose had been to test the formation, not engage titans unlike other missions).
Erwin isn’t looking at the people as they pass though. His horse bounces with its ears flicked back, anger welling from its core. Erwin wonders who rode this horse before and commends them for keeping it under control.
He looks down at Ardis, her body slung in front of him. She is motionless aside from her breathing and the horse’s carriage, and Erwin loosens one of his hands from the reins to clutch at her fur.
Wounded soldiers join Erwin as he hands off his horse and marches to the infirmary. He makes sure everyone knows he will see them later and they nod in understanding, stepping away from him and the unnatural sight of an almost lifeless daemon and stoic human.
He is their commander, though. He will never show weakness, not even a weakness that others considered human.
At the infirmary, a nurse with a red wolf daemon and tight lips directs them to the end, where she promptly pulls the curtains and shakes her head. Her daemon whines as Erwin places Ardis on the bed and the nurse directs Erwin on what he should do, wrapping her in support bandages so the damage doesn’t worsen if she moves.
Daemons work differently to humans and the nurse inspects Erwin too. She doesn’t venture close to Ardis and most certainly does not touch her. Unless it is absolutely imperative, not even medical personnel touch another’s daemon.
“There’s not much we can do,” the nurse says, stroking her daemon behind the ear. “She seems to have fractured her hip, but it should heal within the week if you rest. She is linked more tightly than ever to your emotions right now and only you can heal her.”
The nurse pauses. “It would be best to keep her here until she has woken up. After that you can take her back to your quarters.”
The wolf whines and Erwin feels himself drifting away, barely able to nod in response. The nurse takes her leave and finally, finally, Erwin can sit in the chair by the bed and not think about being composed or brave for his soldiers.
His mind drifts, far, far away and it is some time before a low voice brings him back. Erwin didn’t notice the figure arrive, but he has no room for surprise in his chest.
“Levi,” he says softly, eyes falling back to Ardis. She is breathing more regularly now and Erwin can feel the pain in his lower back begin to lessen. Like she has told him many times, they are strong and they will withstand this.
“Your soldiers are commending you already,” Levi says, voice layered with disinterest. “Rumour has it the higher ups are feasting tonight thanks to their newest investment in their scouting legion’s commander.”
Levi sniffs with distain and Erwin feels a tiny smile tug at the corner of his lips. They hadn’t seen each other for a while, but Erwin was glad Levi was here now.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, looking Levi dead in the eye. “You didn’t have to come.”
The words leave him feeling heavier than before, but Erwin feels grounded. Ardis is safe, she is healing, and Levi has come. He doesn’t know what exactly that means, but it does mean that Levi hasn’t left him forever.
“I wouldn’t just leave you,” Levi replies, shifting where he stands. Kiva is sitting on the bed, eyes only for Ardis. “You understand why I had to move out.”
It’s not a question for they both know the reason. It’s impractical and Levi is unorthodox already. To live in with the commander would detract from his training and Erwin would never sacrifice him in that way.
“I have to get back to training,” Levi says suddenly and Erwin straightens, nodding. “Your soldiers are waiting for you too, though they’re just happy to be safe that they’ll probably wait all night.” Levi’s lips downturn slightly and Erwin’s stomach flips.
Then he turns and he is gone. It is a few moments before Erwin turns to the bed and meets startling yellow eyes. Kiva turns her nose up at him, but jumps from the bed all the same, coming to rest by Erwin’s feet, just as Ardis would have should she have been able to.
Erwin finds he has no words and sinks back into his seat, covering his face with his hands and smiling.
Look how far they’re willing to go for us, Erwin murmurs to Ardis. She cannot reply, but Erwin feels warmth through their bond and knows that she knows.
*
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[Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 21:00 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-07 04:16 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-07 09:18 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-07 20:38 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-20 03:37 (UTC) - Expand
Re: [Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 7b/? (Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 15:15 (UTC) - Expand
[Erwin/Levi] Cedarwood 8/?
(Anonymous)
2013-11-05 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
Sorry this is so short, I’ll make it up to you with the next part. Thank you for the kind words, apologies for the delay and have a good week!
*
Erwin’s heart thumps heavily in his chest as Levi looks at him with heavy-lidded eyes. There are no illusions about what will happen if Levi chooses to step into Erwin’s space, and he does it so fluently and so easily that Erwin wonders why it has taken them so long to get to this point.
Levi’s skin is warm as Erwin touches his arm gently. He slowly peels away the layer of clothing Levi has over his skin, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, knuckles brushing hard packed muscle and pale skin.
“What is it about you?” Erwin murmurs, knowing Levi will always hear him, perhaps even if he merely thinks a statement.
Bonds like the one they have growing are bonds for life, a dangerous risk for people in their position. Yet bonds such as the tendrils curling in Erwin’s heart and wrapping around Levi cannot be halted or even persuaded elsewhere. Their relationship is doomed, but if it is doomed then they might as well become the greatest they can be, together.
Four buttons are undone and Levi shifts, the shirt slipping over his shoulder. Erwin can’t help the heavier breath he exhales and knows from the twitch of Levi’s fingertips against his thigh that he felt the need in that exhale.
The shirt falls to the floor moments later, falling from Levi. He is unveiled as a marble statue is, pale and everything Erwin has ever envisioned and more. Muscle cords his body, taunt and the perfect embodiment of a heavenly warrior, yet he is matched to his body type. Levi wouldn’t be out of place in the halls of a museum, but Erwin could never put him on public view. His blood pulses in his ears when he thinks that anyone else has seen Levi like this. It is irrational, for he’s been with other people, plenty, and would expect the same from Levi.
It doesn’t mean he has to like it.
Erwin shows what he wants by leaning towards Levi and kissing him softly. It is barely a touch of lips before he draws back, eyes flickering to meet Levi’s, to make sure this is what he wants. He doesn’t need to check, not really, and cool air hits his broad shoulders as Levi pushes him back a little to slide onto his lap, shuddering as they kiss once more.
Wrapping his arms around Levi, Erwin shifts him so that he is astride Erwin’s thighs. His trousers are stretched and Erwin eyes Levi’s erection with hunger – but he won’t touch him yet. Let Levi show him he deserves it, let him prove he’s able to keep up with Erwin.
They kiss again, Erwin pressing Levi against him with strong arms, ghosting his tongue against Levi’s lips. Levi lets him in, sinking into Erwin’s hold as if they were meant to be like this forever and Erwin can’t stop his hands from smoothing against Levi’s skin, from holding him tightly and from running through Levi’s thick hair.
Erwin moves down, letting his tongue glide over a muscular neck. In their position his neck aches as Erwin dips down a little further, but he’s dealt with more pain than this. He fights titans for a career and anything without a least a little discomfort – not to say that this is an uncomfortable discomfort, if there can be such a thing – would be a pointless affair.
“Don’t tease me,” Levi says, so commanding and direct that Erwin does stop. He meets Levi’s eyes with a cocky grin and brings a hand up from Levi’s waist to press against a pink lip.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to give orders, Levi,” he whispers, voice low with undisguised lust and Levi swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple exposed for Erwin’s eyes only.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” Levi retorts, unchanged despite their actions. Erwin can’t help but grin and duck his head slightly to seize Levi in a kiss once more, deciding quite simply if he has to pass time one way for the rest of his life, kissing Levi will be his top choice.
As Erwin kisses him, Levi rocks his hips, trousers barely an obstacle in their activities. It’s been a while since Erwin has been with anyone but his hand and even that is a strained affair. It’s not something he likes to admit, but the stress of his job and lack of time often leaves Erwin preferring sleep than battling to wank.
Not with Levi though. Never with Levi. They part their kiss, Levi pushing harder as his hips move across Erwin’s and Erwin wonders whatever did he do to deserve something as wonderful as this. He doesn’t question it though, not when Levi grunts in annoyance and unbuttons his trousers, glaring for him to do the same.
They don’t bother to get fully naked. This isn’t a love affair where they need to shed themselves before each other fully. They’ve already shared enough of themselves through Levi sending Kiva to Erwin. That is the strength of them and it is why it is so easy for Erwin to prop himself up on one elbow and take both their cocks in a large hand. Levi’s hand joins him and they move together, a little hesitant at first, but hesitance means nothing when it feels like this.
“Levi,” Erwin breathes, pushing forward to bury his head in the crook of Levi’s neck. He rests his forehead against Levi’s skin and breathes him in, pleasure filling the marrow of his bones as their hands move faster.
Erwin has never felt like this about anyone, never come undone so easily as Levi’s undone him. He’s been with men and women before, but none were ever Levi and he wonders how he can have thought that sex back then was so good when this? This is so much more.
Erwin comes first with a shudder that passes through his entire body. Levi stills for a moment before he brings a hand to Erwin’s hair, fingers stroking as Erwin rides his orgasm out. Erwin feels the press of Levi’s lips and smiles into them, pushing Levi’s body back a little so that when they break, he can move down.
“What are you-?” Levi starts, but Erwin shushes him with a kiss to his hip bone and then another to the head of his dick. It’s not often Erwin gets to do this, but he likes to think he knows enough to make Levi ecstatic.
Levi’s legs lock around his shoulders as Erwin takes his cock in his mouth. He has no time to play around; he knows Levi is close. This isn’t about teasing or a long, passionate session. They’re both too tired for that, but they can feel good.
Hands grip Erwin’s hair tightly when Levi comes. He groans low in his throat and sinks onto the bed, chest rising and falling heavier than usual. His hands tighten as Erwin swallows his come and he moves up the bed, to hover over Levi with a wistful smile on his face. He strokes Levi’s cheek and kisses his lips gently, letting Levi’s hands fall to his shoulders as he arranges them by the pillows and under the sheets.
Erwin glances to their daemons, unperturbed by the fact they watched them have sex. He can feel the warmth in Ardis’ chest and she glances to him in the dark, curling around Kiva a little more. In turn, Erwin wraps an arm around Levi, smiling when Levi stares at him with a frown.
“Kiva might enjoy being cuddled up, but I don’t,” he mutters, though he then buries his head against Erwin’s chest and Erwin can’t help but laugh.
“Thank you for letting Kiva stay,” Erwin says next and jolts as Levi kicks his shin, hard.
“Shut up you idiot,” Levi hisses. “I’m trying to sleep.”
Erwin smiles to himself, letting what doesn’t need to be said rest against their skin. They don’t need words to express how they feel, not when they understand each other and know each other how they do now.
They fall asleep with ease, an unlikely occurrence for people in their line of work.
*
With a jolt, Levi wakes in the middle of the night. He feels Kiva still sleeping to the side and glances to Erwin, thankful when he sees there is no change in the pace of his breathing. The giant monster probably didn’t even feel Levi on top of him, let alone feel him wake.
Knowing that Kiva will wake with ease if he wants her to, Levi forces himself to relax against Erwin’s loose embrace, ignoring the images that plague the back of his mind. He’s been dreaming, no one can stop the dreams, and Levi exhales heavily as he recalls the images.
It’s not the first time he’s dreamt of titans. Everyone has dreamt of titans, it’s a simple part of life and Levi’s always been able to deal with it before. He’s never had a proper family so he’s never lost them to dream-titans and being lost himself has never truly bothered him. Even watching Kiva turn to dust before his eyes was more merciful than what plagues him, for daemons cannot be ripped and shredded again and again. Their end lies in dust, but a human’s end?
Erwin’s end?
Levi shudders as the image of a grotesque humanoid figure ripping through Erwin’s flesh haunts him. He knows Erwin well enough now to know that Erwin isn’t reckless, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t above sacrificing himself if he had to. Erwin doesn’t charge in knowing he’ll die, but if it means he’ll win for humanity? Erwin would do anything.
Even cast Levi aside to the titans.
Kiva twitches in her sleep, an action Levi mirrors. He scrunches his eyes shut and curses himself for being such a baby. He is a little child at night though, vulnerable in Erwin’s arms to the tales of titans and destruction.
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