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her even more firmly in his soul, embed her in his life, and fix her in

his memories. Images penetrate more deeply into us when they are

associated with the different places we know from our experiences.

Previously Maryam was associated with the roof of his house, the

arbor of hyacinth beans and iasmine, Kamal, listening to his English

lesson, the coffee hour, and talking to his mother in the study, and

the message Kamal brought back from her. Henceforth she would be

associated with Sugar Street, the courtyard of the Shawkat residence,

the evening's musical entertainment, the singing of Sabir, Aisha's

wedding procession, and everything else that was crowding in

through his senses. Such a transformation could not occur without

adding to the violent shock that had stunned him.

 

During one of Sabir's intermissions, the voice of the female vocalist

happened to carry through the windows overlooking the courtyard

so the men could hear her. She was singing "My lover's departed."

Fahmy set about listening eagerly and with enormous interest. He

 


PALACE WALK

 

 

concentrated all of his attention on absorbing the music, not because

he particularly liked Jalila's voice, but because he thought Maryam

would be listening to her at that moment. The lyrics would be speaking

to both of them at the same time. Jalila united the two of them

in a single experience of listening and possibly of feeling. She had

created an occasion for their spirits to meet. All of these considerations

made him revere her voice and love her song. He wished to

share this one sensation with Maryam. He tried for a long time to

get through to her soul by retreating deep into himself. He sought to

contact the vibrations of her reactions by following his own. Notwithstanding

the distance and the thick walls separating them, he

wished to live for a few moments inside her essence. To accomplish

this, he attempted to determine from the lyrics the effect they would

have on his beloved's soul. What would her response be to "My

lover's departed" or "It's a long time since he sent me a letter"? Had

she been lost in a sea of memories? Had not at least one of those

waves slipped away to reveal his face? Had not her heart felt a stabbing

pain or a piercing grief?. Or was she in such a daze throughout

that she saw nothing in the song but enjoyable music?

 

Fahmy imagined her listening attentively to the music, free of her

veil, parading her vitality, or her mouth parted in a smile like the one

he had glimpsed when she arrived, which had upset him since he had

inferred from it that she had forgotten him. She might be talking to

one of his sisters as she frequently enjoyed doing. He envied his

sisters that privilege, which would daze him to the point of panic,

whereas they regarded it as an ordinary conversation like any they

conducted with girls in the neighborhood Indeed, he had frequently

been amazed by his sisters' attitude toward her, not because they took

an interest in her, for they did love her, but because they loved her

exactly the same way they did the other girls in the neighborhood,

as though she was just some girl. How could they greet her without

getting flustered and do it in an ordinary manner, the way he greeted

any passing girl or his fellow law students? How could they talk

about her and say, "Maryam said this" or "Maryam did that" and

pronounce the name like any other one, Umm Hanafi, for example?

Hers was a name he had only pronounced once or twice in someone

else's presence. Then be had been amazed by its impact on him.

When he was alone, he would only repeat her name as though it

were one of the venerable names of Muslim saints engraved in his

imagination along with the ornamentation provided by legends.

These were names he would not pronounce without immediately

 


 

 

Naguib MaAfou{

 

adding one of the appropriate religious formulas: "May God be

pleased with him" or "Peace on him." How could he explain that not

merely the name but even Maryam herself lacked any magic or sanctity



for his sisters?

 

When Jalila finished singing, there were shouts of appreciation and

applause. Fahmy concentrated on that with even greater interest than

he had given the song, since Maryam's voice and hands were participating.

He wished it was possible for him to make out her voice

among all the others and to isolate her clapping from all the rest, but

that was no easier than distinguishing the sound of one wave from

the roar of all those beating against the shore. So he responded lovingly

to the cries of applause and the clapping without distinction, as

a mother prays for blessings and peace collectively when she hears

the voices of pupils from a school her son attends.

 

Although their reasons differed, no one so resembled Fahmy in his

inner isolation as his father, who did not leave the chamber where he

was surrounded by some of his very best friends. Some companions

had not been able to endure the sober atmosphere in there when

music was resounding outside. They had broken away from his circle

to scatter among the listeners where they could enjoy the music and

have a good time. The only people left with al-Sayyid Ahmad were

those who loved his company even more than having a good time.

They all observed an unaccustomed solemnity as though performing

a duty or attending a funeral. These old friends had understood in

advance it would be like this when he had invited them to the wedding.

They knew from experience that there were two sides to his

character. One was reserved for his friends and the other was for his

family. There was a paradoxical contradiction between this somber

behavior with which they were celebrating a wedding and their boisterous

nightly reunions when they had nothing to celebrate. They did

not hesitate to joke about their dignified conduct, but in a calm and

delicate manner. When Mr. Iffat's voice was raised in laughter once,

Mr. al-Far put his finger to his lips as though warning him to lower

his voice. He whispered in his ear to caution and scold him: "We're

at a wedding, man."

 

Another time, when they had been silent for a while, Mr. All

looked around at their faces and, raising his hand to his head, congratulated

them: "May God thank you for your effort."

 

At that, al-Sayyid Ahmad asked them to join their other friends

outside and have fun, but Mr. Iffat told him in a critical tone of voice,

 


PALACE WALK 263

 

 

"Should we leave you alone on a night like this? Do you know who

your friends are until you're in need?"

 

AI-Sayyid Ahmad could not keep from laughing. He commented,

"It will only take a few more wedding nights before God forgives all

of US."

 

A wedding had other ramifications beyond mandatory solemnity at

a party devoted to merrymaking and music. There were implications

for him in particular as a father with an unusual temperament. He

had ambivalent feelings about his daughter's marriage. He was not

comfortable about it, even though reason and religion did not support

his position. It was not that he did not wish for his two daughters to

marry. Like all other fathers, he wished to protect his daughters, but

would have preferred that marriage was not the only way to provide

this protection. He may even have wished that God had created girls

in a manner that made marriage unnecessary or that he had never

had any daughters. Since his wishes had not been and could not be

fulfilled, he was forced to hope his daughters would marry, like a

man who longs for an honorable or painless death, since he knows

life cannot last forever.

 

AI-Sayyid Ahmad had often expressed his reluctance in many different

ways, both conscious and unconscious. He would tell some of

his loyal friends, "You ask me about fathering females? It's an evil

against which we are defenseless, but let us thank God. In any case,

it's a duty. This is not to say that I don't love my daughters. In fact,

I love them as much as I do Yasin, Fahmy, and Kamal, each equally..

But how can my mind be at rest when I know that I will carry them

to a stranger one day. However attractive he may seem on the outside,

only God knows what's inside him. What can a weak girl do

when she's faced by a strange man far from the supervision of her

father? What will her fate be if her husband divorces her one day,

after her father has died? She must take refuge in her brother's house

to endure a life of neglect. I'm not afraid for any of my sons. No

matter what happens to one of them, he's a man and is able to confront

life. But a girl... my God, preserve us."

 

He might say with apparent candor, "A girl is really a problem....

Don't you see that we spare no effort to discipline, train, preserve,

and care for her? But don't you also see that after all of this we

ourselves hand her over to a stranger and let him do as he wishes

with her? Praise to God who alone is praised for adversity."

 

AI-Sayyid Ahmad's anxious and ambivalent feelings found expres


Nagui8 Mfou

 

 

sion in the critical attitude he adopted toward Khalil Shawkat, the

bridegroom. It was a harsh, faultfinding attitude that kept searching

to discover some defect to satisfy its obstinacy. Khalil seemed not to

count as a member of the Shawkat family, which had been bound to

his own family by ties of affection and friendship for more than a

generation. He seemed not to be the young man whose manliness,

good looks, and honor were attested to by everyone who knew him.

AI-Sayyid Ahmad was not able to deny the boy's good qualities but

hesitated for a long time over his full face and the calm, heavy look

of his eyes that seemed indicative of laziness. He was pleased to infer

from these signs that he was sluggish. The gentleman told himself,

"He's nothing but a bull, living only to eat and sleep." His recognition

of the young man's good qualities followed by his search for

any defect was an emotional dialectic reflecting al-Sayyid Ahmad's

latent emotions. He both desired the girl to get married and detested

the idea of marriage. His acknowledgment of Khalil's qualities had

made it possible for the marriage to take place. His search for Khalil's

defects helped relieve his hostilities toward the marriage. He was like

an opium addict, enslaved by its pleasures and terrified by its danger,

searching for it by any means, while cursing it. For the moment, al

Sayyid Ahmad ignored his ambivalent feelings. He was surrounded

by his best friends and consoled himself alternately with conversing

and listening to the distant music. He allowed contentment and joy a

place in his heart and prayed that his daughter would be happy and

lead a tranquil life. Even his critical attitude toward Khalil Shawkat

was reduced to a scornful feeling free of any rancor.

 

When the guests were invited to the dinner tables, Fahmy and

Yasin were separated for the first time. Khalii Shawkat conducted the

latter to a special table where wine was in ample supply. Conscious

of the possible consequences, Yasin was cautious at first. He announced

that two glasses were enough for him. He resisted with

courage (or was it cowardice?) the freely flowing wine, until he

reached the first stage of intoxication. Then his memories of the pleasures

of drunkenness were stirred, and his willpower weakened. He

wanted to get more intoxicated without exceeding the limits of safety.

He had a third glass and fled from the table, although he took the

precaution of hiding a half-filled bottle in a secret place so he could

retrieve it if there was a pressing need. He kept one eye on paradise,

while the other was peering down at hell. The young men returned to their seats with vibrant new spirits that imparted to the atmosphere

a delight freed from restrictions.

 


PALACE WALK 26

 

 

In the women's quarters, intoxication had gained firm control over

he performer Jalila. She started looking around at the faces of" the

women in the audience, asking, "Which of you is the wife of al

Sayyid Ahmad Abd al-Jawad?"

 

Her question attracted their attention and aroused everyone's interest.

Amina was too shy to utter a word. She began to stare at the

entertainer's face with anxiety and disapproval. When the pedormer

repeated the question, Widow Shawkat pointed to Amina and volunteered,

"There she is. Why do you ask?"

 

The performer examined her with piercing eyes. Then she let out

a resounding laugh and said with satisfaction, "A beauty, by the truth

of God's house. AI-Sayyid Ahmad's taste is unbeatable."

 

Amina was so embarrassed she was like a tongue-tied virgin. Embarrassment

was not her only emotion. She asked herself with anxiety

and alarm what the implications were of the entertainer's question

about al-Sayyid Ahmad Abd al-Jawad's wife and of her praise for his

taste. She had spoken in a tone that only a person who knew him

well would adopt. Aisha and Khadija felt the same way. Khadija

glanced back and forth from some of her friends to the performer, as

though asking them what they thought of this tipsy woman. Jalila

paid no attention to the panic her words had provoked. She turned

her eyes to the bride and examined her as she had the mother pre'viously.

Then she wriggled her eyebrows and declared admiringly,

"As beautiful as the moon, by the Messenger of God! You're really

your father's daughter. Anyone seeing those eyes would immediately

remember his." She laughed boisterously before continuing: "I see

you are all wondering how this woman knows al-Sayyid Ahmad....

 

I knew him before his wife herself did. He was a neighbor and childhood

playmate. Our fathers were friends. Do you think a performer

doesn't have a father? My father was head of a Qur'anic primary

school and a blessed man. What do you think about that, you

beauty?"

 

She directed this question to Amina, whose fear, natural indulgence,

and good humor prompted her to answer, as she struggled

with her embarrassed confusion, "May God have mercy on him.

We're all children of Eve and Adam."

 

Narrowing her eyes, Jalila began to rock her head left and fight.

Her memories and expressions of piety seemed to have made a great

impact on her, or perhaps her drunken head enjoyed this routine. She

began speaking again: "He was a man with a jealous sense of honor.

But I grew up with a natural tendency to be playful, as though I had

 


Naguib Mahfou

 

 

been suckled on coquetry in the cradle. When I laughed on the top

floor of our house, the hearts of men in the street would be troubled.

The moment he heard my voice, he would rain blows upon me and

call me the worst names. But what point was there in trying to discipline

a girl who was so gifted in the arts of love, music, and flirtation?

His attempts were in vain. My father went to paradise and its

delights while I was fated to adopt the epithets he hurled at me as

my banner in life. That's the way the world is.... May our Lord

nourish you with the good things in life and spare you the evil....

 

May God never deprive us of men, whether through marriage or

affairs."

 

Laughter rang out from all sides of the rooha. It drowned the

shocked exclamations of some women here and there. The reaction

was perhaps primarily caused by the apparent contradiction between

the final, licentious prayer and the expressions preceding it which at

least outwardly seemed serious and regretful. The woman had

cloaked her expressions with a serious and dignified veil, before finally

revealing her joke. Even Amina, uneasy though she was, could

not keep from smiling, although she bowed her head so no one would

see. At a party like this, women were able to entertain the drunken

iokes of the performers and respond to their humor, although the

limits of decency were occasionally surpassed. They seemed to enjoy

a break from their normal primness.

 

The intoxicated entertainer continued her discourse: "My father,

may God make paradise his final abode, had good intentions. For

example, he brought me a fine man like himself one day and wanted

to marry him to me." She roared with laughter. "What kind of marriage

would that have been, my dear? What was left for a husband

after what had already happened? I told myself, 'Jalila, you'll be disgraced.

You've fallen into a tar pit.'"

 

She paused for a time to whet their appetite or to enjoy the attention

focused on her, which was even greater than when she was

singing. Then she went on: "But God was gracious. I was saved a

few days before the anticipated disaster. I ran off with the late Has

suna al-Baghl, a drug dealer. He had a brother who played the lute

for the entertainer Nayzak. He taught me how to play it. Since he

liked my voice he also taught me how to sing. He coached me until

I got into Nayzak's troupe. When she died, I took her place. I've

been singing for ages and have had a hundred lovers, plus.... "

 

She frowned as she tried to remember how many more than a

 


PALACE WALK

 

 

hundred there had been. Then she turned to ask her tambourine

player, "How many, Fino?"

 

The musician quickly responded, "Plus five--|ike the five fingers

of the Prophet's granddaughter Fatima held up to ward off the evil

of infidels."

 

Laughter resounded once more. Some of the women most fascinated

by the performer's account attempted to silence the laughing

ladies so she would resume speaking, but she rose suddenly and

headed for the door. She paid no attention to the women asking her

where she was going. Although they received no answer, no one

pressed her, because she was notorious for her outbursts, which she

made no effort whatsoever to resist.

 

Jalila descended the staircase to the door of the women's quarters

and stepped into the courtyard. When her sudden appearance attracted

the attention of nearby eyes, she paused to allow everyone to

see her. She wanted to enjoy the interest that the sight of her would

arouse in them and use it to challenge Sabir, who had worked his

audience to a peak of enthusiasm. Her wish was granted. The contagion

of turning to look at her spread as quickly as a yawn from

one man to the next. Her name was repeated by every tongue. Although

Sabir was carried away by his own singing, he too noticed

the sudden rift between him and his audience. He turned to see what

was attracting everyone's attention and his eyes came to rest on the

chanteuse, who was gazing at him from afar with her head tilted back

in a mixture of intoxication and pride. Sabir was compelled to stop

singing and motioned to his musicians to cease playing; He raised his

hands to his head to greet her. He knew about her outbursts and,

unlike most people, also knew how kindhearted she was. Taking into

consideration the dangers of antagonizing her, he displayed unreserved

affection for her. His ruse succeeded, and the woman's face

shone with delight. She called out to him, "Continue singing, Sabir.

That's what I've come to hear."

 

The guests applauded and jubilantly returned to Sabir. Then Ibra

him Shawkat, the bridegroom's elder brother, approached her and

asked politely what she needed. His question reminded her of the

real reason she had come. She asked him in a voice that carried to

many of the men present and most importantly to Yasin and Fahmy, "Why don't I see al:Sayyid Ahmad Abd al-Jawad? Where has the

man hidden himself?."

 

Ibrahim Shawkat took her arm and smilingly escorted her to the

 


 

Naguib Mahfou

 

 

reception room. Meanwhile Fahmy and Yasin exchanged an astonished

and incredulous glance. Their eyes followed lhrahim and the

entertainer until they disappeared behind the door.

 

A1-Sayyid Abroad was no less astonished than his sons to see her

strutting toward him. He stared questioningly at her in alarm, while

his companions exchanged smiling, knowing looks.

 

Jalila looked everyone over quickly and said, "A fine evening to

you, gentlemen."

 

She focused her eyes on al-Sayyid Abroad. She could not keep

herself from laughing heartily. Then she asked sarcastically, "Has my

visit frightened you, al-Sayyid Abroad?"

 

He gestured to caution her about the people outside. Fie replied

seriously, "Restrain yourself, ]alila. What has motivated you to visit

me here under the eyes of all the people?"

 

Although her sarcastic smile never left her, she replied apologetically,

"I would have hated to miss congratulating you on the marriage

of your daughter."

 

AI-Sayyid Abroad responded uneasily, "Thank you, lady, but didn't

you think about the suspicions your visit might arouse in the minds

of those who saw you?"

 

Jalila clapped her hands together and said almost as a reprimand,

"Is this the best welcome you have for me?" Then she addressed his

companions: "Gentlemen, you're my witnesses. Observe how this

man, who used to be unhappy if he couldn't stick the tip of his

mustache in my belly button, can't bear the sight of me."

 

AI-Sayyid Ahmad gestured to her as if to say, "Don't make the

mud any wetter." He entreated her, "God knows I'm nor unhappy to

see you. The only problem is, you see, the awkward situation.... "

 

At this point, Mr. All tried to remind her of something she should

not forget: "You lived together as lovers and parted friends. There's

nothing to be revenged. But the women of his family are upstairs

and his sons are outside."

 

Continuing to try to infuriate al-Sayyid Abroad, Jalila asked, "Why

do you pretend to be pious around your family when you're a pool

of depravity?"

 

He threw her a look of protest and said, "Jalila!... There's no

 

might or power except with God."

 

"Jali[a or Zubayda, you saint?"

 

"I rely on God and the blessings of his deputy the Prophet.... "

 

She wriggled her eyebrows at him as she had in honor of Aisha

before him, but this time it was sarcastic and not a sign of admiration.

 

:|

 

 

I
PALACE WALK 269

 

 

In a calm voice as serious as a iudge's in pronouncing a verdict, she

said, "It's all the same to me whether you're Zubayda's lover or some

other woman's, but by the head of my mother it troubles me to see

you roll in the dirt after being up to your ears in cream here." She

pointed to herself.

 

Mr. Muhammad Iffat, who was the closest to her, rose at that point.

He was afraid her intoxication would lead her to do something with unfortunate consequences. He took her hand and gently pulled her

toward the door as he whispered in her ear, "I adiure you by al

Husayn to return to your audience, who are waiting impatiently for you."

 

After some resistance, she obeyed him, but as she slowly moved

of she turned toward al-Sayyid Ahmad to say, "Don't forget to give

my greetings to the filthy bitch, and I'll give you some sisterly advice.

Wash yourself off with alcohol after you've been with her, otherwise

her sweat will affect your blood."

 

AI-Sayyid Ahmad saw her off with a furious look. He was cursing

his luck which had decreed for him to be disgraced before the eyes

of many, including his family, who knew him as a shining example

of earnestness and dignity. Well, there was still hope that not everyone

in his family had heard about the incident, but it was only a

feeble one. There was also a chance that in their innocence they

would not really understand if they did hear about it, although that

possibility was hardly guaranteed, and for more than one reason.

 

Even assuming the worst, there was no reason for him to be

alarmed. Their subservience to him and his domination over them

both assured that no convulsion would shake them, not even this

scandal. Moreover, he had never assumed it was out of the question

that one of his sons, or even the whole family, might discover the

truth about him, but he had not been overly worried about that,

because of his confidence in his power and because in rearing them

he had not relied on either setting an example or persuasion. There

was no need to fear that they would swerve off the high road if they

discovered he had. He thought it unlikely they would learn anything

about him before they came of age, when he would not care much

whether they did uncover his secret. Yet none of this could lighten

his regret at what had happened, although the event had also pleased

and flattered his pride in his sexual appeal. For a woman like Jalila

to seek him out to greet him, tease him, or even to make fun of his

new sweetheart was a real event that would have a great impact on

the circles where he passed his nights. It was an occurrence with far


Naguib Mahfou

 

 

reaching significance for a man like him who enjoyed nothing so

much as love, music, and companionship. But how much purer his

happiness would have been if the beautiful event had taken place at

a distance from this family atmosphere.

 

Yasin and Fahmy had not turned their eyes away from the door

to the reception room from the moment Jalila disappeared through it

till she emerged again, escorted by Mr. Muhammad Iffat. Fahmy was

so astonished his head spun like Yasin's when he had heard Zanuba

reply, "He's from our district. You must have heard of him... alSayyid

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad.... " Now Yasin was overcome by a

voracious curiosity. With a happiness that awakened in his heart a

frenzy of the same admiration and feeling of affinity for his father

that he had felt in Zanuba's room, he realized that Jalila was another

adventure in his father's life, which Yasin had begun to picture as a

golden chain of romantic escapades. The man surpassed everything


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