Magician

A magician (to work) on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience (to be) different each week, so the magician (to allow) himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There (to be) only one problem: The captain's parrot (to see) the shows each week and (to begin) to understand how the magician (to do) every trick. Once he (to understand) he (to start) shouting in the middle of the show:

"(To look), it (to be) not the same hat."

"(To look), he (to hide) the flowers under the table."

"Hey, why all the cards (to be) the Ace of Spades?"

The magician (to be) furious but (can not) (to do) anything; it (to be), after all, the captain's parrot.

One day the ship (to have) an accident and (to sink). The magician (to find) himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course.

They (to stare) at each other with hate, but (not to utter) a word. This (to go) on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot (to say): "OK, I (to give) up. Where (to be) the boat?"

Bats

A vampire bat (to come) flapping in for the night covered in fresh blood and (to park) himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats (to smell) the blood and (to start) hassling him about where he (to get) it. He (to tell) them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they (to persist) until he finally (to give) in.

"Okay, (to follow) me!" he (to say) and (to flap) out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they (to go), across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he (to slow) down and all the other bats excitedly (mill) around him.

"Now, you (to see) that giant oak over there?" he (to ask)

"YES, YES, YES" all the other bats (to scream) in a frenzy.

"Good," (to say) the first bat, "because I don't!"

Duck

A duck (to walk) into a feed store and (to ask), "(To have) any duck feed?"

The clerk (to tell) him, "No, we (not to have) a market for it so we (not to carry) it."

The duck (to say), "Okay," and (to leave).

The next day the duck again (to walk) in to the feed store and (to ask), "(To have) any duck feed?"

Again the clerk (to say), "No," and the duck (to leave).

The next day the duck once again (to walk) inand (to ask), "(To have) any duck feed?"

The clerk (to say), "I (to tell) you twice, we (not to have) duck feed, we never (to have) duck feed and we never (to have) duck feed. If you (to ask) me again, I (to nail) your feet to the floor."

The duck (to leave).

The next day, the duck (to walk) in and (to ask), "(To have) any nails?"

"No."

"(To have) any duck feed?"

Дата добавления: 2015-08-13