Fred tries to excuse Jim. - Barbara is still angry and threatens to tell everything to Lola.

BARBARA

You think you can just manipulate me like one of those characters in your scripts?

___JIM___

I sensed it was becoming too hot and heavy, so before it got totally out of control—

BARBARA

I'm sorry, Jim—it is out of control. I want to talk to Lola.

___JIM___

Talk to Lola?

BARBARA

Yes. I think once she hears it from me she'll get the picture.

I don't believe you love her more than me. I'm going to meet with her and have this out.

___JIM___

(to Fred)

Say something, you're my collaborator!

***FRED

I'm just the idea man, you do the dialogue.

___JIM___

I need a fresh concept.

***FRED

Look, Barbara—may I call you Barbara?

BARBARA

I don't know who the hell you are but try.

***FRED

My name is Frederick R. Savage and although it does not appear on the screen or the products, I coauthored Jim's first movie and am also the inventor of the cordless phone and instant coffee.

BARBARA

Promises were made to me.

___JIM___

Never—just the opposite—

***FRED

Try and empathize, Barbara—a weak individual—a domestic crisis—a sexual hunger—suddenly an alluring creature such as yourself—the boy is of course swept away. Then one night a small spaceship from the star Vega sends out magnetic rays inside his skull—

___JIM___

Fred, you're not helping me.

Barbara, I've made a terrible mistake, I'd like to undo it—

BARBARA

You're gonna have to make this up to me somehow.

___JIM___

What does that mean?

BARBARA

I need time to think—but you're not walking out of this just like that. You know what they say—if you can't get love, get money.

___JIM___

That's blackmail.

BARBARA

You should've thought of that when you first checked us into that fleabag hotel— You'll hear from me.

(Barbara exits.)

___JIM___

Fred—Fred—what do I do?

***FRED

One thing is for sure—you can't pay her anything.

___JIM___

No?

***FRED

You'd never be rid of her—she'd come back for more and more—she'd bleed you white—

___JIM___

I have to tell Lola—I have to—it's the only way—

***FRED

You can't tell Lola you've been having an affair for six months.

___JIM___

Why not? If I bring her flowers—

***FRED

There's not enough flowers in the Botanical Gardens.

___JIM___

People have affairs and then realize they did wrong.

I'll tell her it meant nothing. A little sexual fling.

***FRED

Great. Wives love to hear that—she'll smile warmly and then serve you dinner.

___JIM___

I'm dead—it's over. There is no way out of this. I sinned and I'm going to hell.

9. Fred picks up ‘a signal’ telling to kill Barbara. - Jim is shocked and refuses.

***FRED

Hold on a second—I'm starting to pick up a radio signal … I feel the rays entering my head.

This weather is bad for transmission.

___JIM___

What have I done?

***FRED

It's so annoying.

___JIM___

We could move—get a motor home—we could travel around— she'd never find us.

***FRED

Someone must be cooking with a microwave.

___JIM___

No, that's not going to work—I'm damned no matter what I do.

***FRED

Wait, wait—got it! Got it!

___JIM___

Got what, Fred?

***FRED

You have to get rid of her.

___JIM___

Uh-huh—that's your insight?

***FRED

No. I mean, get rid of her definitively.

___JIM___

What do you mean?

***FRED

My voice says, permanent elimination.

___JIM___

Fine—but how, short of killing her? I can't think of any other way—I— (realizes that's what Fred means) Fred—I'm trying to have a serious discussion here.

***FRED

I'm very serious.

___JIM___

What serious? Kill her?

***FRED

It's the only way you can keep your family from coming apart.

___JIM___

Fred, I'm not going to kill her.

***FRED

No?

___JIM___

It's psychotic—you're a psychotic.

***FRED

And you're just neurotic—so there's a lot I can teach you. I outrank you.

___JIM___

It's no solution—and if it was a solution I couldn't do it and if I could do it, I wouldn't do it.

***FRED

Why not? It's a stroke of creative genius.

___JIM___

It's psychologically, morally, and intellectually wrong. It's madness.

***FRED

We've got to act fast. This woman is an alien—she may even be computerized.

___JIM___

I don't want to discuss this.

***FRED

If you don't give in to all her demands she'll tell Lola every detail. Lola loves you, trusts you —so she had a little obsession with the twins—I'm sure it'll pass and you'll be back having sex every Thanksgiving.

___JIM___

I gotta go home.

***FRED

You're not going to have a home after tomorrow.

___JIM___

How could I have not seen that she'd be capable of this?

___JIM___

But killing her is out of the question.

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