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Together again

Missing you, Madison | Two years, nine months ago | Something special | What a feeling | Waiting to be rescued | One year, six months ago | Whatever it takes | Through death you appreciate life | Eight arms and a hundred questions | Nine months ago |


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Back on the street,

Madison stands by her car,

the sun now tucked in tight,

the moon rising, ready

to take watch over our world.

I hug her and say good-bye.

No explanation necessary.

She knows this

is where I need to be.

Back in his Beetle,

a dozen questions

circle my mind like vultures.

I can’t let them move in

on this moment though.

It’s not time.

Now is the time

to let him know

he is safe with me.

That we can have fun

and be friends,

and it can be enough.

I’ll make it be enough.

 

Unnecessary

 

I get my words ready.

I want to tell him

I won’t push him anymore.

That whatever’s going on,

it’s his business,

and whether he wants to tell me or not,

it doesn’t matter, we can still

be friends.

Being a friend means

knowing when to push

and knowing when to pull back.

I’d forgotten that.

 

I get my words ready,

mixing them up and around,

wanting to say just

the right thing.

But while I’m

preparing,

sorting,

organizing,

stressing,

he speaks.

“I’ll tell you, Amber.

I will tell you.

Just not now.”

He reaches over for

my hand. Holds it there,

on my leg. My heart

skips a beat, and I give

his hand a little squeeze

as I put all of my

carefully selected words

away.

that’s more like it

 

A pink lobster

glows neon

in the window.

Because it’s dark,

I can’t make out

the name of the place.

He leads me in,

waves at the guy

behind the register,

and takes me

to a booth in the corner.

It’s obvious

he knows this place.

It’s more than just somewhere

to get something to eat.

I look behind me

and see a bar

and pool tables.

We’re underage,

but, obviously,

for reasons I don’t understand,

it doesn’t matter.

“So, no Chinese food?”

“Nope.”

And that’s all he says.

This boy likes to keep me guessing.

 

The waiter comes over,

says, “Hey, Cade,”

and asks if it’ll be the usual.

“Yeah,” he says.

“But two this time.”

He knows what he wants.

No flipping coins.

I tell him I need to use the

restroom, so he gets up

and leads me to the back

where there are two doors,

one with a GONE FISHING sign

and one with a GONE SHOPPING sign.

“I hate shopping,” I tell him.

“You can go in with me if you want.”

Is he flirting with me?

Damn, I hope so.

Piling it on

 

As I wash my hands,

I stare in the mirror,

thinking about this

weird and wonderful day.

It didn’t turn out

like I thought it would.

Nothing ever does.

 

The good news is

I’ve hardly thought about

tomorrow at all.

The bad news is

I’ve now added new worries

to the pile that’s so high,

it feels like it could topple over

at any moment.

Cade???

 

Why the hell are you here?

What can I do to help you?

Please, there must be something?

Will I ever see you again?

What if I don’t like my new family?

What if my new family doesn’t like me?

What if my real family doesn’t miss me?

What if my real family even likes having me gone?

Wish I could demolish it

the way Cade destroyed

that sand castle.

If only it were that

easy.


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