SCHOOLED. Scene 1. Police office

SCHOOLED.Scene 1.Police office

OFFICER. How old are you?

CAP. Thirteen.

OFFICER. You are arrested for driving without a license. (slaps handcuffs on his wrists) Who's the owner of this pickup?

CAP. It belongs to the community.

OFFICER. (making a note on a ring-bound pad.) What community? Golf club? Condo deal?

CAP. Garland Farm. - It's an alternative farm commune.

OFFICER. (goggling at him). AlternativeСyou mean like hippies?

CAP. Rain used to be one, back in the sixties. There were 14 families at Garland then. Now it's just Rain &me.

OFFICER. (Unmoved) Who is this Rain? The patient's name is (reads the card) Rachel Esther Rosenblatt.

CAP. Her name is Rain, and she's my grandmother. (stiffly) She fell out of a tree.

OFFICER. (Starting notes). What was a sixty-seven-year- old woman doing up a tree?

CAP. Picking plums. (defensively) She slipped.

OFFICER. So you drove her here. At thirteen.

CAP. I drive all the time. (informing him) Rain taught me when I was eight.

OFFICER. (Sweating) And you never thought of just dialing 911?

CAP. (Regarding him blankly) What's nine-one-one?

OFFICER. The emergency number! On the telephone!

CAP. (telling truth) I've talked on a telephone a couple of times. In town. But we don't have one.

OFFICER. (looks at him for what seems like forever.) What's your name, son?

CAP. Cap. It's short for Capricorn. (He unlocks his handcuffs. He is un-arrested.) How could an able-bodied teenager allow his grandmother to scale a plum tree? Simple. She wasn't my grandmother at the time. She was my teacher. I am home-schooled. So that's what I was doing when Rain fellСworking on a vocabulary lesson. Microprocessor? (frowns at the paper) I've never heard this term before. (spots her up in the tree, reaching to pick a plum.) Rain, there's a word I don't under-

RAIN. (faint cry) Aaah! (Whump.)

CAP. Rain! (She is lying on her side, very pale, isn't moving. In terror) Rain, you are my teacher, my family, my whole universe. Garland is a community, but we are the communityСthe two of us! (kneels) RainСare you OK? Please be OK!

RAIN. (Her eyes flutter open &focus on him. She tries to smile, but the pain contorts her expression into a grimace.) CapЙ(faintly, reaching up a tremulous hand &gripping his arm) You're going to have to take me to the hospital. (some medical actions)

CAP. Rain says that anger upsets the balance inside a person. Falling out of the tree must have made her forget this.

RAIN. (screaming at the doctor at top volume.) I can't do eight weeks of rehab! I can't do eight days!

DOC. You've got no choice. You have a broken hip. It has to be pinned. And you'll need extensive physical therapy.

RAIN. You're not listening! (shrilling) I'm the caregiver to my grandson! The only caregiver!

DOC. What about the parents? Where are they?

RAIN. (Shaking head). Long dead. Malaria. Peace Corps in Namibia. They gave their lives for what they believed in.

DOC. (impatiently). Mrs. RosenblattС

RAIN. That name hasn't applied to me for decades. You can call me Rain.

DOC. All right. Rain. I'm admitting you now. We'll operate in the morning. And I'll call social services to see what arrangements can be made for your grandson. (Mrs. Donnelly comes)

MRS.DON. Your hair and beads tell me you are from Garland Farm. (holding out her hand). - I'm Mrs. Donnelly.

CAP. (taking her hand) Capricorn.

MRS.DON. Well, Capricorn, it looks like you're going to be staying at my house for a few weeks.

CAP. Absolutely not! I have to get back to the community. Everything has to be ready for when Rain comes home.

MRS.DON. Wait a minuteСRachel Esther Rosenblatt is Rain? Your grandmother?

CAP. (brightening) You know her?

MRS.DON. Way back before you were born,my family lived at Garland.I ran around barefoot, protested the Vietnam War, did farm chores, &listened to a lot of sitar music. Then my parents decided they were too old to be hippies anymore, &we rejoined the real world. Rain would want you to be with someone who understands. (he nods reluctantly)

SCENE 2.WORLD OUTSIDE GARLAND

ZACH POWERS. (high-fives his way, slapping hands on both sides of the aisle. "Hey, Zach!" "How's it going, man?") Eighth grade, captain of the football and soccer teams, Big Man on Campus. After two years of looking up to other people, I've finally made it to the point where there was nobody to look up to but me. (frowns at the sign WELCOME TO CLAVERAGE MIDDLE SCHOOL). They'd fixed it again. Unacceptable. (looks around, reaches up &snatches off a letter. The sign now reads: ЙС AVERAGE.. Nods, satisfied. Walks on, enjoying the admiration of 7th grade girls.) It was a dangerous job, but somebody had to do it.

NAOMI. Hey, Zach! DonХt forget! the election for eighth grade president is coming up.

LENA. And the tradition at С Average isЙ

DARRYL. Right, to nominate the biggest loser in the building. (They laugh)

ZACH. And to watch President Bonehead giving speeches, running assemblies, and making a complete idiot out of himself. And IХve nailed exactly the right guy. Guess who?

LENA. Ever since kindergartenЙ

DARRYL. The primo nerdЙhas beenЙ

ALL. Hugh Winkleman! (Hugh passes by &gets a wedgie)

ZACH. In a million years, there could not be anyone more perfect for this job than Hugh.

Mr. Kasigi. Zachary Powers, meet Capricorn Anderson. Cap just transferred here.

ZACH. Yeah, from the planet Krypton.

Mr. Kasigi. What did you say?

ZACH. Nothing, sir.

Mr. Kasigi. Right. Show him to locker 743 and make sure he gets to homeroom. (He rushes off. Cap looks at him)

ZACH. Like he's never seen another kid before! - Come on, Cap. Follow me. (walk, picking up much attention) Locker 743. Here it is. You've got the combo, right? (Cap stares at him blankly.) The combination. ThereСprinted.

CAP. But what does it mean?

ZACH. HereСI'll show you. Seventeen... thirty-three... five. (There was a click, &the door swung wide. Cap peers in. They giggle)

CAP. It's empty.

ZACH. Of course it's empty. It's your locker. It's empty until you put something in it.

CAP. (with conviction) When we lock things away, we're really imprisoning ourselves.

ZACH. EhЙ What school did you go to before this?

CAP. I'm homeschooled. I'm only here because Rain broke her hip, &they won't let me live alone at the community.

ZACH. Hugh Winkleman, you're a lucky man.With this new kid,all the losers in school are bumped down one space. Never before has anyone screamed for the job of 8th grade president like Capricorn Anderson. This is my year!

FIRST BOY. What are you looking at, jerkface? (swings his book bag around &slams it into the side of the other's head.)

SECOND BOY. What are you looking at, buttwipe? (punches him in the nose, & the two roll on the grass, grunting &raining blows)

CAP. (horrified) I'd read about physical violence,but this was the 1st time I'd witnessed it in real life.Wild,vicious,ugly.

(In seconds, a ring of spectators formed around the brawlers. Their gleeful chant echoed all around the schoolyard).

ALL. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!...

teacher. Break it up! (bursts into the circle. He squeezes himself between &pushes them apart.) All right, who started it? (silence)

CAP. Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at, and jerkface wanted to know what buttwipe was look-ing at. (turning earnest eyes on them) Couldn't you see you were both looking at each other?

teacher (reddening). Who do you think you are, Jerry Seinfeld?

CAP. You must have me confused with another student. My name is Capricorn Anderson.

teacher. Are you talking back to me?

CAP. EhЙYes? (uncertainly.)

teacher. (yelling) Go to Mr. Kasigi's office! At once!!! (Cap is on the bench when Mrs. Donnelly appears. Leaping up)

CAP. Is Rain going to be okay?

MRS.DON. Let's take a ride over there and find out. (Her brow furrowed) What are you doing in the hot seat?

CAP. I have a smart mouth. (honestly) It's against the rules.

MRS.DON. (leading me down the hall) Come on, we've got a long drive. I'll straighten everything out with Mr. Kasigi.

CAP. Good news, Rain! Your operation was a success. (anxiously) So we can go back home?

RAIN. (smiles sadly) The doctor was right. This is going to be a long recovery. (holds his hand) I know you're upset, but we're just going to have to be strong.

CAP. I don't like it out there. (complaining) It's too crowded. People dress funny; they talk too fast; and all they're interested in is things! Cell phones and iPods and Starbucks. What's a starbuck?

RAIN. (firmly) All you have to do is focus on who you are and what your values mean to you. You've passed every state testСalways in the top five per cent. You're as smart and capable as anybodyСmore than most.

CAP. (grimly) What I saw in school today wasn't on any test.

RAIN. (smiling) True, information isn't the same as experience.You know what television is,but you've never watched it. You know what pizza is, but you've never tasted any. You know about friendships, but you've never had a friend.

CAP. You're my friend.

RAIN. Of course I am. But I'm not exactly a teenager.

CAP. I'm already finished with other teenagers. People are constantly screaming at each other. Two boys actually resorted to physical violence! This was over (shrugging helplessly) I can't even explain it.

RAIN. You have to feel sorry for them. Nonviolence isn't something everyone understands.

CAP. They've got these things called lockers. (raving on) And they're for locking stuff awayСso other people won't steal it! Why can't everybody just share? (Rain looks really worried.) They don't have regular time at school, you know. They have periods. All of a sudden an alarm goes off and you're supposed to drop what you're doing and rush off to a different room with a different teacher to do something completely different! How can anybody learn like that? MRS.DON. (a knock at the door, &Mrs. Donnelly pokes her head into the room) Hello, Rain. How are you feeling?

RAIN. It's been a long time, Floramundi. (Rain looks her up &down. Mrs Donnelly is tense) It's wonderful to see that you've done well since your family abandoned the lifestyle and value system they believed in. (they leave)

MRS.DON. Do you like my house, Cap?

CAP. Yes, butЙthese pictures, curtains,clocks, figurines seem like an awful lot of stuff for just one house? (She laughs)

SOPHIE. MotherСare you on drugs? How could you bring thatСthat freakazoid into our house?

MRS.DON. ShhhСSophie. He'll hear you.

SOPHIE. I want him to hear me! (shrieked) How else is he going to get the message to clear out?

MRS.DON. (pleading) He has nowhere else to go.

SOPHIE. And that's my problem?

MRS.DON. Lower your voice! (ordering sternly) It's only for six weeksСtwo months at the outside.

SOPHIE. Two months? I have to live my life! Do you know how long it took me to get Josh Weintraub to ask me out? What's he going to think when he drives up and sees this tie-dyed streak of misery draped across the porch?

CAP. Later that night I accidentally blundered into her room. (She is in her pajamas,while smearing pale green cream all over her face)

SOPHIE. You! Out! Now!

CAP. (frozen, staring at her) WhatСwhat's on your face?

SOPH. Oh,right,you've never heard of moisturizer.YouХre just looking for an excuse to come busting into my room!

CAP. (mystified) What are you moisturizing?

SOPHIE. (She stamped a slippered foot) My skin, genius! It's a beauty product, okay? Scram! (She slams the door.)

CAP. (backs out,stands, paralyzed with discovery.) Beauty.That is the word.Sophie Donnelly is beautiful. Just standing near her -even when she was yelling at meСmade me feel...nice. It sure is a strange &complex world outside Garland. Nice!

SCENE 3.ELECTED PRESIDENT

HUGH. If you want to understand middle school students,follow the wedgies.Wedgie-givers &wedgie-receivers. Sad to say, I'm one of the receivers. Zach Powers, Lena Young, &their crowd ride roughshod over a lot of people. But I was victim №1. Until Capricorn Anderson showed up. But what a kid. (eyes are on Cap in the cafeteria) God, it feels good to have them staring at someone else for a change. (walks over) A guy like this is going to need all the friends he can get (one). - Capricorn, right? (sets tray down) I'm HughСfrom social studies class. (sticks his hand out, Cap just stares at it)

CAP. I remember you, there are so many people here. It's hard to keep track.

HUGH. I can help you with that. (Pointing a table with Zach) That crowd thinks they own the place.They think that because they do. Stay away from them. You know, standard survival skills. I'm sure it was similar at your old school.

CAP. I was homeschooled before this.

HUGH. No kidding. What's it like?

CAP. (wanly) Wonderful!

HUGH. I'll bet! It must be nice to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about walking into a hostile environment, with your next wedgie a matter of not if but when.

CAP. What's a wedgie?

HUGH. Wow. Homeschooling must be heaven! (Cap's lunch is salad, carrot sticks, & bread. He is looking at HughХs hamburger.)

CAP. What part of the animal does that meat come from?

HUGH. I don't know. (thoughtfully) The lips, probably. Want a bite?

CAP. I'm a vegetarian.

HUGH. (hears thpoot, bends head) It is a spitball. But it isn't aimed at me.

(it lodges itself amid Cap's hair. At Zach's table, a celebration is going on, with backslapping &high fives. ThereХs a straw in NaomiХs hand.)

PA. Just a reminderСthe election for 8th grade president will be held on Tuesday, September 26th. The position is open to all 8th graders. So far, only one name has been placed in nominationС Capricorn Anderson. Thank you.

CAP. (scanning the ceiling) Who is that? If he wants to talk to us, why doesn't he just come into the room?

HUGH. ItХs PA system. ItХs Mr. Kasigi. But why is he talking about you? Are you running for president?

CAP. Of course not. I don't believe in government. I come from an autonomous collective.

HUGH. But Mr. Kasigi saidЙ (inderstanding) - Oh!.. ItХs Zach and his lot!.. You know, Cap...

CAP. What?

HUGH. EhЙ nothing. Better you than me.

CAP. What are you talking about?

HUGH. Never mind. The period is starting.

NAOMI. The time is coming. I can almost smell it. One day Zach Powers is going to be my boyfriend. The minute I shot that spitball in the cafeteria, I could feel Zach noticing me.

ZACH. Nice trajectory, can I finish your Tater Tots?

NAOMI. The turning point in our relationship! The road to Zach goes straight through the new hippie kid. (Making posters. Painting &dictating to herself) CAPRICORN ANDERSONСTHE PEOPLE'S CHOICE. (ZachХs hand brushes hers. Proud &excited) We don't need any help with the election, thank you, Lena.

LENA. Oh, yeah?

MR. KASIGI. (at the school assembly) I am now announcing that the elected 8thgrade president isЙ Capricorn Anderson!!

(Zach &Darryl hoist the new president up on their shoulders &march him onto the stage.)

ZACH. (shouting) Speech! Speech! (Mr. Kasigi tends over the microphone, &all quiet down. Cap stares at them for a long time)

NAOMI. Zach, have you chosen someone who is so nerdy he is too perfect for the job? (giggling)

CAP. I shouldn't be president.

DARRYL. Why not?

CAP. IЙI don't know anybody's name. (Peals of laughter roll through the gym.)

NAOMI. (proud of Z.) That is fantastic! Congratulations! (He grabs her arm, flagging down a very dazed Cap who wants to be left alone)

ZACH. Remember me, Cap? I'm Zach and this is Naomi. Now you know us. It's only a matter of time before you get the chance to meet everyone else in the school.

CAP. I'm not good at remembering names. I don't know a lot of people.

NAOMI. We're sure you can do it.

CAP. One.

NAOMI. One what?

CAP. One person. Rain. My grandmother. She's the person I know. (goes away. They laugh)

ZACH. WeХll put a suggestion box, for students to bring their concerns to the president's attention! (All laugh)

NAOMI. Like what?

ZACH. LikeЙ asking Mr. Kasigi toЙto erect a bullfighting stadium in the parking lot!!! (they get hysterical) He will have to hold weekly press briefings for reporters from the school newspaper.

NAOMI. The reporters?

ZACH. Us! And the first of these conferences will be held in a room that doesn't exist!

(Cap wanders. Zach plants students out there to give him bogus directions)

KIDS. Make a left at the music room, down the stairs, through the doors, then 2rights & a hard left at the furnace-

SOMEONE. Cap, what are you going to do about the terrible state of cafeteria food?

SOMEONE. Cap, the boys' locker room is a cesspool! What are your plans to improve it?

SOMEONE. Cap, have you thought about air-conditioning the school buses in light of global warming?

CAP. I don't have the answers to any of those things. Maybe you picked the wrong person to be president.

NAOMI. Which only proved that we'd picked exactly the right person to be president. I invented a secret admirer for Cap named Lorelei Lumley, who slipped perfumed love notes through the vents of his locker.

ZACH. These are perfect.

NAOMI. Zach has Cap's combination, so he never opens the door without finding something bizarre or gross. ItХs my favorite part of every day, pressed against Zach, waiting to see what Cap will pull out of there next - a rotten banana with a greasy black peel, a goat's brain from the science lab, a Ziploc Baggie of Pepto-Bismol, a dead bird.

(They watch, amazed, as he wraps the small body in a paper towel &marches it to the flower bed, kneels & begins scrabbling in the soft dirt.)

ZACH. (peering through the floor-to-ceiling window) What's he doing? Digging worms?

NAOMI. That's not it. He's burying the bird.

ZACH. (mystified) Why? (Cap places the little corpse into the hole &covers it tenderly with earth, plucks a couple of daisies &places them across the tiny grave, stands up, removes his headband, &bows solemnly.)

NAOMI. Something came over me I still can't explain it. (walks out &stands beside Cap)

CAP. (simply) Death is a part of life. This is just another part of your journey. Fly well.

(a few kids are looking on trying to figure out if we's gone crazy, probably. One 7th grader takes off his baseball hat in reverence. Naomi catches a disapproving look from Zach on the other side of the window, &silently curses herself.)

NAOMI. Yet it seems so right, &I can't be sorry for that. I hope I can make Zach as sensitive as Capricorn Anderson.

STUDENTS. (coming up to Cap, quietly). I am sorry, Cap. Р I am sorry. (He asks all of them their names.)

SCENE 4COPING WITH NEW LIFE

MRS.DON. (at lunch) As Cap's caseworker, my job is to check in from time to time to make sure he is doing well.

MR.KASIGI. Oh, don't worry about Cap from an academic standpoint. He's right up there with our brightest &best. He's been very well educated by someone.Yet sociallyСI've never met a student who knows so little about ordinary everyday living. Is it possible that he honestly believes bullfighting is a sport we play in middle school?

MRS.DON. Bullfighting? How did that subject come up?

MR.KASIGI. Apparently, Cap asked about it as part of his duties as eighth grade president.

MRS.DON. Eighth grade president? How could a brand-new student get himself elected president? (later)

SOPHIE. DuhСeighth grade president isn't an honor, Mother. It's like being elected village idiot. Every year they pick the biggest wing nut in the building.

MRS.DON. (horrified) SophieСthat's awful! And you participated in it?

SOPHIE. Everybody did. At least, we did nothing to stop it. If you don't go along with the gag, you're next. (MRS DON. looks disapproving.) Grow up, Mother. The world's a big, tough, scary place like you don't know that.

MRS.DON. Actually, I know that. I didn't realize you knew it. - Poor Cap. Anyway, a genuine school, nasty &merci-less as it can be, is still better than Garland.Besides, after school Sophie demonstrates the true meaning of nasty. His healthy vegetarian diet she considers a slap in the face to her own eating habits.She can't bear that Cap wakes up ea-rly to practice tai chi on our front lawn. - But, Sophie, why would it matter to you? You're barely awake at that hour.

SOPHIE. (raging) It's humiliating. We might as well put a sign on the roof that says 'Warning: Mutant on Premises!'

MRS.DON. (in the morning, when Cap is performing martial arts moves, Sophie empties an entire wastebasket of water down on his head, with a string of bad language.) Sophie!!! I thought you were concerned about what the neighbors might think! (He looks up at her &smiles, with his hair hanging limply) - I'm so sorry, dear. You have to forgive Sophie, although I can't think of a reason why.

CAP. (sadly) She doesn't like me.

MRS.DON. (smiling) Sixteen-year-old girls don't like anybody.

CAP. When you're unkind to others, it's usually because you don't believe that you, yourself, deserve kindness.

MRS.DON. Don't be so nice. She can be pretty mean. Her father, my ex-husband - his heart's in the right place, but he makes a lot of promises he can't keep. Just yesterday she was waiting for him to pick her up for her first driving lesson. He never showed. That's him, doesn't come, doesn't call, dead air. She won't admit it, but she's devastated.

CAP. I guess when you have a lot of people in your life, there's more of a chance that someone will let you down.

MRS.DON. (laughing) You're right. But it's a risk most of us are prepared to take.

CAP. Mrs. Donnelly, whatХs bullfighting?

MRS.DON. EhЙ CapЙ why donХt you just ignore anyone who mentions it again.

CAP. (picks up the encyclopedia). BullfightingЙ oh! - Zach, speaking of bullfighting. It is a cruel sport where innocent animals are tormented, tortured, killed, and have their ears cut off. I object to it on moral grounds.

ZACH. I respect your honesty! (shakes his hand. Walks away, his shoulders shaking)

CAP. Overcome with emotion, I guess. The school makes me dizzy. I spend half my time wandering the halls. Students pepper me with questions. And now a girl named Lorelei Lumley is writing me notes about how she'd love to run her fingers through my hair. Why would anybody want to do that?

HUGH. (at lunch) It's obvious. She's in love with you.

CAP. I don't even know who she is!

HUGH. (disgusted) Typical. I've spent my whole life in this dumb town, and I've never gotten a girl to give me a second look. And here you have someone throwing herself at you. Ask her to the Halloween dance.

CAP. What's the Halloween dance?

HUGH. Only the most important social event of the school year! Not that I've ever been to one. (His eyes narrowed) If you're eighth grade president, shouldn't you know about it?

CAP. (Worriedly) I hope no.

HUGH. I think the president plans the whole shindig - refreshments, decorations, music.

CAP. (feeling his heart.) Oh. Garland was so simple. Like what are those little white paper balls that I keep brushing out of my hair every night? Is there so much paper in a school that the molecules eventually cluster? &how do all thеse weird objects get into my locker? Rain always recommends meditation for stress &confusion. (meditates, Zach &Naomi steal his sandals. goes barefoot). I know complaining is a negativity trip, but it is hard to stay positive about the floor of a school bus. It's a collecting place for the filthy, smelly, sticky, &often sharp castoffs of a society run wild. If I'd ever questioned why Rain &her friends gave up on city life in San Francisco &founded Garland, five minutes on that bus explained it.ItХs crowded, noisy, dirty, rowdy, &uncomfortable. (People fight, shriek, throw things at one another) My bruised& bleeding feet were decorated with lollipop sticks, chewing gum, hairs, broken soda-can tabs, straws, buttons, &some things I couldn't even identify. (Sophie catches him in the backyard hosing off his feet at the outdoor tap.)

SOPHIE. (muttering) Nice.

CAP. But the thing is, she didn't think it was nice at all. Every time I talk to Sophie, she looks like she has just eaten some turnips that were harvested a week too late. But I know about her disappointment over her father. I realize my good fortune at being raised by Rain, who never broke a promise &never let me down in any way. I want to do something nice for Sophie. But how can that ever happen?Every time I go near her,she practically bites my head off.

SOPHIE. My mother is the most generous, caring, good-hearted, sympathetic person in the world. She even chose a career devoted to helping people. She's a saint. I always knew that lousy attitude was going to get us in trouble one day. Still, never in my wildest nightmares could I imagine myself living with a refugee from Bizarro World. The stuff he scraped off his feet alone would be enough to get the house condemned by the board of health. - God only knows what is living in his hair! And his clothes - I am amazed they don't get up and walk away on their own.

MRS. DON. It is unfair! He is very clean.

SOPHIE. He's been wearing the same stuff for the past three weeks.

MRS. DON. They just look the same because they're all cotton tie-dyes. I drove out to Garland to pick up his things.

SOPHIE. I hope you brought extra shoes too. Somebody hung a pair of corn husk sandals on the high voltage wires. I wonder who they belong to. I called Brad Pitt, but he's wearing his.

MRS. DON. (sharply) Don't be unkind. The way those kids are teasing Cap is inhuman. Have a little compassion.

SOPHIE. (sulkily) Have a little compassion for me. Josh was just dropping me off while the freakazoid was scraping a third-world country off his feet. If Josh &I started dating - are you there, God? It's me, Sophie! - there'd be no way to keep that space alien off the radar screen. I can swear there are six of him. Wherever I want to be, that's where he is! He even started watching my favorite show, Trigonometry&Tears, the high-school soap opera. Because he has never seen TV before, he barks out warnings &advice to the characters on the screen. - Will you shut up? (yells)

CAP. Nick doesn't know that Alison found out he's been seeing Corinne on the side!

SOPHIE. They're actors! It's a story! They can't even hear you! (returns from the date) What a letdown. Talking about video games for three hours before telling me he was getting back together with his ex-girlfriend from Indiana.

CAP. (waiting for her on the porch.) Hi. Quick, we should have just about an hour.

SOPHIE. For what? To pick a few more staples out of your feet? (Holds up the car keys &jingles them in front of her.)

CAP. Driving lessons.

SOPHIE. Driving lessons? From a little squirt like you?

CAP. I know your other lessons got canceled.

SOPHIE. Oh, thanks, Mother. Someday I'll repay you by telling your personal business to every passing hobo. (feels betrayed, furious& intrigued.) - I want to drive! I need a teacher. Even if it has to be the freakazoid. (gets in the car with him). That idiotic Zen-hippie style of his turned out to be just right for a driving instructor. (makes a mistake, horrified)

CAP. Honest mistake.

SOPHIE. Suddenly, a garage door loomed out of the darkness, coming up fast. I lost it. I didn't even have the sense to take my foot off the gas! (in mid-panic when Cap reaches over &yanks on the steering wheel. They swing around, churning soft earth.)

CAP. (quietly) Abdominal breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

SOPHIE. But I almostС

CAP. (lectures serenely) There's no almost. Only 'happened' and 'didn't happen.' This didn't happen.

SOPHIE. Get us out of here!

CAP. You'll do that.

SOPHIE. (panicking). I can't! It's too narrow, and there are trees on both sides! I'll hit something!

CAP. (Patient) This is a philosophy Rain passed on to me when she taught me how to drive our truck.

SOPHIE. (nearly hitting him) This is no time for your hippie-dippy wisdom!

CAP. She said, If the front gets through, the rest will drag. Rain used to drive a taxi in San Francisco before.

SOPHIE. (a nervous giggle. She puts the car back)-(rasping) My mother! Oh, man, we are so busted!

CAP. Why?

SOPHIE. Think, for once in your life! What does neither of us have? A driver's license, maybe? We are doing smth highly illegal. (Hands trembling, she turns, &they switch drivers. Cap whips the car up into the driveway. They are on the couch when she comes in)

MRS.DON. (suspiciously) What? (Mother had left 2 teenagers at war, only to return home to a peace treaty.)

SOPHIE. (turning to CAP) Keep your split ends off my side of the couch! - It was exactly the kind of thing I'd been saying to Cap ever since he'd arrived at our house three weeks before. But my heart wasn't in it that night.

SCENE 5 SCHOOL BUS ADVENTURE

NAOMI. There is something inside him, something mysterious and strong. A kind of strength that gives him the self-control to meditate instead of falling apart, or to ignore what other people think, &find meaning in a dead bird. He isn't reacting. (Cap is in the music room, strumming a guitar)

ZACH. EhЙCap! Can I have you for a few words? You know, you are expected to plan the Halloween dance!

CAP. I've never been to a dance. (goes. Zach is mad)

NAOMI. I only have one class with Cap, Math. He never opens his mouth, yet whenever the teacher calls on him, he always comes up with the answer. Zach claims Cap is the dumbest kid in school, but he is really smart.

ZACH. (Cap is in the school yard, performing slow-motion, dancelike martial arts moves.) Hippie ballet!

NAOMI. Cap, what is it you are doing, so graceful and athletic?

CAP. It's tai chi. It develops balance through a blending of mental and physical energy.

ZACH. Yeah, but why are you doing it here, where everybody can see you?

CAP. Because if I do it where I live, somebody pours water on me.

ZACH. (nervous) I'm going to break this kid if it's the last thing I do.

NAOMI. (secretly displeased) Anger doesn't suit you.

ZACH. We're eighth graders. This is supposed to be our year. Lena, we need to call the entire eighth grade down on him. He is not to walk through a crowded hall without his feet being kicked out from under him.

(The cafeteria line was to become an obstacle course of tripping legs. He would be a bull's-eye for spitballs, rubber bands, apple cores, &flying soup)

NAOMI. He isn't happy, but he doesn't look unhappy either. And deep, deep down, I am rooting for Cap to stick it back in all our faces. For sure we deserve it. Especially me, because I am starting to know better.

HUGH. This is shaping up into the greatest school year ever. I am not popular, or even borderline acceptable. But I am anonymous. To me, it is my birthday, Christmas, &the Fourth of July all wrapped into one. And it is all thanks to Cap Anderson. (guiltily) I like Cap. Really, I do. But the best thing about him is the fact that he took the heat off me. - The school bus is the bloodiest battlefield. - Cap. Duck! (A bunch of jerks at the back are flicking lit matches at Cap)

CAP. Why?

HUGH. (Rodrigo lets out a loud groan,clutches his chest, topples out of seat. The noise dies) Is Mr. Rodrigo having a heart attack? Look! the bus is moving into traffic! Hey! (Cap runs,leaps over, lands in the driver's seat, stomps on the accelerator.The bus misses a truck by inches)

CAP. (barking) Where's the hospital? (scared silence) The hospital! Now!

NAOMI. (sprinting up the aisle) Turn here!

HUGH. But, CapСyou can't drive a bus! (He shifts gears &they pick up speed)

NAOMI. (bawls) Turn left! (Cap heaves on the wheel. The front tires bounce, jostling passengers.A screech of metal.The bus springs forward &jolts back onto the road. Hugh scrambles on all fours down the aisle, maneuvering around kids tossed out of their seats. Rodrigo's chest is moving up&down)

DISPATCHER. Base to forty-one. Come in forty-one.

HUGH. (Cap looks at the set as if he'd never seen one in his life. Hugh reaches around him &takes hold of the microphone) Hello?

DIS-R. Rodrigo, is that you? We just got a report that you're way off course &driving erratically. What's going on?

HUGH. UhСMr. Rodrigo can't come to the phone.

DISPATCHER. Who is this?

HUGH. Hugh Winkleman.

DISPATCHER. Who?

HUGH. A passenger! Mr. Rodrigo's unconscious! We think he might be having a heart attack.

DISPATCHER. Who's driving the bus?

HUGH. (hesitating) Capricorn Anderson.

DISPATCHER. (ordering) Stop right there! We'll send an ambulance for the driver.

CAP. No! We have to get to the hospital. There's no time to wait for an ambulance.

HUGH. (into the microphone) He says no.

DISPATCHER. (exploding) He can't say no. He's endangering the lives of everybody on board!

CAP. Does this have an off button? It's very distracting.

HUGH. UhСgotta go. Bye. (cutting power to the set) You sure you know what you're doing?

CAP. Rain says you always know what you're doing when you're doing the right thing.

SOME KID. Cops!

HUGH. Two police cruisers are on our tail, lights flashing.

COP. Pull over to the side of the road!

HUGH. You better do it, Cap!The cops are chasing us! (Cap crouches lower over the wheel. The kids are totally cowed, sirens blare. Cap stomps on the brakes. The hospital guys rush Rodrigo into the building on a stretcher. the officer stomps up the stairs of the bus.)

COP. You're in a lot of trouble, kid! (makes Cap lie facedown, cuffs his hands behind his back, like a criminal. They haul him roughly out)

NAOMI. Cap didn't do anything wrong! He was just trying to save Mr. Rodrigo!

KIDS. Quit pushing the guy around!

KIDS. He's a hero!

KIDS. He didn't hit anything!

COP. Qui-et!! I don't want to hear a peep out of any of you.

HUGH. If Cap goes to jail, I will be back in business as the number-one punching bag at С Average Middle School. I am a worm, but at least I have the strength of character to be ashamed of it.

SCENE 6POPULARITY

CAP. Rain says television is a vast wasteland that lowers our standards until we can't tell the difference between bad &good. But I think Trigonometry &Tears is fantastic. Those people are so real, with true-to-life problems &big decisions that have to be made. Plus, every now &then, the program stops &the TV tells you about all the great things you can buy. If it wasnХt for the show, I would be re-ally bewildered by the huge fuss everybody was making over driving one little school bus less than five miles. The adults on T&T are always going bananas over something, so I wasn't surprised when the police, the superintendent, the principal, the bus company owner, &Mrs. Donnelly all took turns screaming at me. They even made Rain call, &gosh, it was good to hear her voice.

R. I'm supposed to talk some sense into you.But what I really want to say is congratulations.You did the right thing.

CAP. The police don't think so. They made me lie on my stomach while they cuffed my hands behind my back.

RAIN. Does that bring back memories! Every time I protested the Vietnam War, I wound up in the same position.

CAP. It was horrible.

RAIN. (comfortingly) Don't worry, Cap. In no time at all, we'll both be back to the sanity of Garland.

CAP. (smiles) Maybe we could get a stronger generator so we could watch Trigonometry &Tears there. I know some-one as smart as Rain would appreciate it if she'd just give it a chance. (does tai chi, there, performing the moves beside him, is Naomi) - Extend your fingers. The energy should begin in your core &flow out through your extremities.

NAO. ThanksЙCap,there's something I need to tell you.Watch out for all of us.We're not as nice as we pretend to be.

CAP. You're nice.

NAOMI. You're the nice one, Cap. (runs into the school. Cap enters a room where in addition to Zach, Lena, &Darryl there are 20 kids.)

DARK-HAIRED BOY. Where did you learn to drive a school bus?

CAP. (honestly) Nowhere. And you areЙ?

DARK-HAIRED BOY. Trent Davidoff.

CAP. (takes out a small notepad &writes down) I usually drive a pickup truck. That's why I had a little trouble on the corners.

CAITLIN. How did you know Mr. Rodrigo was having a heart attack?

CAP. And your name isЙ?

CAITLIN. Caitlin Rankin.

CAP. (writes that down too) I couldn't be sure. But he was lying on the floor, unconscious, and that can't be good.

ZACH. (annoyed, raises a hand) Is it true that you haven't even started planning the Halloween dance?

CAP. Yes, it's true.

ZACH. Aren't you worried that you won't be ready when the time comes?

CAP. (honestly) I don't know anything about parties. I only know fifty-seven people, including you guys. (The bell rings)

TRENT. You know, if you're looking for party music, my cousin had this deejay-the guy was amazing! Kids loved it!

CAP. You should look after the music.

TRENT. (Amazed. Breathlessly). You're putting me in charge of hiring a deejay?

CAP. Not 'in charge.' Authority is a power trip. A community thrives when each member does what he or she is best at. Your strength is the music.

TRENT. But how do I pay the guy?

CAITLIN. (jumping in) Don't worry about that. The school must have a budget for the dance. Right?

CAP. (shrugs) - Right. - I hope it is the correct answer!

SCENE 7GIRL

SOPHIE. Dad!

DAD. So now we can see about turning you into a licensed driver.

MRS.DON. Sophie was really disappointed when you didn't show up last week.

SOPHIE. (warningly) Mother.

DAD. Well, I'm here now (cheerfully) Let's go!

SOPHIE. And we did. I have to say, I wish he was as patient as Cap. (Cap is doing his tai chi under the willow when they come.)

DAD. (astonished) God bless America! That's the stray your mother brought home?

SOPHIE. The very same.

DAD. (laughing) You're a saint to put up with it, Soph. This is cruel and unusual.

SOPHIE. Oh, Dad!.. (Dad waves to Cap as he walks her to the door.)

DAD. Nice moves, kid. I used to do a little kendo in my younger days. (Sophie shows Тthumbs upУ) Gotta run. But first (reaches into his pocket &pulls out a small jewelry box) belated birthday present!

SOPHIE. Yeah, seven months belated. (takes it, thrilled. It is a silver bangle) Love it. Thanks, Dad. (he snatches it back.)

DAD. Not so fast. I just wanted to make sure you like it before I have it engraved.

CAP. (hypnotized) That (in a hushed voice) is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

SOPHIE. Oh, it is great to have Dad back again!

CAP. I now know 129 people. More students are coming up to me, to talk about the time I drove Mr. Rodrigo to the hospital. (amazed) People seem less interested in Mr. Rodrigo's recovery than the details of how he got there!

RAIN. (on the phone) That's society for you, Cap. Following rules is more important than living your life.

CAP. That explains why Sophie is so obsessed with getting her license.

RAIN. Exactly. What's a license? A piece of paper.

CAP. I wish I could talk to you twenty times a day. Are you feeling better? When can we both go home?

RAIN. Soon, Cap. And in the meantime, you stay true to yourself. Don't change because everybody around you is spiritually handicapped. I don't know this Sophie girl, but her mother, FloramundiСwell, let's say that she wasn't one of Garland's bigger successes. They say the apple never falls far from the tree, you know.

CAP. (gently) Rain, that sounds like a negativity trip.

RAIN. You're right. It's hard to stay positive when you're surrounded by psychic zombies.

CAP. I have to tell her the good about Sophie. Like when Sophie smiles, there is almost no such thing as sadness.

SCENE 8TIE-DYE DAY

HUGH. Cap's best friend. Well, we spend time together, but only at school. Р How about joining the chess club?

CAP. WhatХs it like?

HUGH. Well, you know, we play chess, have competitions -

CAP. I donХt believe in competition, with all that emphasis on trophies &medals,the shiny symbols of an empty soul.

HUGH. Okay. - That's a really cool shirt. Where did you buy it?

CAP. Rain and I do our own tie-dyeing at the community. Do you want me to teach you?

HUGH. Tomorrow in the art room before classes. (I brought a couple of plain white T-shirts, &Cap shows how to scrunch, twist, &tie them up, securing them with rubber bands, rummages through the cabinets &takes out a lot of stuffСmostly paints &dyes, &solutions to make the colors permanent. They are dipping the shirt in a tub of purple, Miss Agnew comes in to get ready for first period.) Uh-oh.

MISS AGNEW. Hugh Winkleman, I hope you've got permission.. (Her eyes fell on CAP) You're Capricorn Anderson! I heard about what you did for Mr. Rodrigo. You're a hero! (She peers into the sink) Wow, tie-dyeing! I haven't done that since college! (When Miss Agnew's class shows up, they find the three of them up to elbows in color &wet fabric) - Go back to your lockers and bring anything that will take paint. Let me go to the office so we wouldn't get in trouble.

PA. Students interested in tie-dyeing with 8th grade president Capricorn Anderson should report to the art room.

(People are lined up with their towels, socks, underwear, &canvas bags. He demonstrates, helps, mixes colors, &hangs up finished work, asks all their names &writes them in his notebook. The artists proudly wear their creations, still wet. It is a carnival atmosphere, with pointing &laughing &high fives.)

HUGH. The star of the show is definitely Cap. I almost didn't notice something else that was different about today: there wasn't a single spitball lodged in Cap Anderson's hair. Not one.

INTERMISSION SCENE 9ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

MRS.DON. Oh, honey, don't feel bad. You know how he is.

CAP. (hurries into the room) What happened? Is everything all right? (An empty Dasani bottle misses his ear by inches.)

SOPHIE. (shrieking) Get out of here! Mind your own business!

MRS.DON. (in horror) Sophie! You apologize to Cap!

SOPHIE. (leaps out of her chair&races away) Mother, don't you dare tell the freakazoid anything about this! (slams the door)

CAP. (looking at Mrs. Donnelly) What did I do? What did I ever do?

MRS.DON. (begging) Please forgive Sophie, She's just had some bad news.

CAP. (worried) Did something happen to Mr. Donnelly?

MRS.DON. Nothing that hasn't happened before. He took off without so much as a good-bye. My ex-husband is not a terrible person, butЙ he rolls into town, gets everybody's hopes up, and then he's gone until the next time.

CAP. Mr. Donnelly left town so suddenly that she hasn't even gotten her bracelet. On Trigonometry &Tears, there is a character named Rishon, who really bothers me. (to S.) - His irresponsible behavior is almost impossible to bear.

SOPHIE. What do you care? It's a TV show.

CAP. But if he doesn't retake the SAT to bring up his score, the University is going to withdraw his acceptance!

SOPHIE. That's what they do on T&T. That's why it's fun to watch. If everything was perfect, there'd be no story.

CAP. Rain says that when we judge others,we're really judging ourselves.That is the reason Rishon upsets me. How can he think his test scores are going to go up by themselves? It is all too familiar. I am in charge of the Halloween dance, &IХm giving it the Rishon treatment. IХm ignoring the whole thing, almost as if I thought it might go away. Then, on T&T, it all works out for Rishon. &it looks like the same thing is happening with the dance. IФm still doing nothing, yet somehow, the arrangements are being made.Garland follows simple logic:you plant tomato seeds, you get tomato plants.No seeds,no tomatoes.But a real school is so messy &random that it is almost like getting tomato-es without first planting seeds. That is why Rishon will go to college, &С Average will have its Halloween dance.

MR.KASIGI. AndersonСcome over here! I need a word with you. (The words jolt him out of deep meditation.) I'm hearing talk of deejays and pizza ovens on wheels! How were you going to pay for all that?

CAP. I don't have any money.

MR.KASIGI. (getting red in the face) Nobody expects you to pay for it! The school has money set aside for the dance. But if you don't present your budget, I can't release one penny!

CAP. I don't have a budget. But it's all taken care of. The food, the music, the decorations - it all just worked out.

MR.KASIGI. (demands) And who's writing the checks? You are! And IХll have to to cosign them or they won't count. After school, IХll drive you to the bank.

CAP. This is a place that represents everything Rain and I are rejecting by living at Garland. Money is all thatХs important here. People are depositing it, withdrawing it, borrowing it, and paying it back. I feel like running away.

MR.KASIGI. (gives a book of checks) You'll need these to pay for music and food. &I'm sure there will be other expenses.

CAP. But I don't knowЙ

MR.K. Remember, this money belongs to everybody,not just you,&you have to be responsible. Do you need a ride?

CAP. No, thanks, IХll walk. Р Oh, what a relief! (sees a jewelry shop, with a silver bangle with stones.) ItХs exactly the same as Sophie's birthday gift from her fatherСthe one he's taken for engraving &never brought back. Hm. Mr. KasigiХs exact words: Be responsible. Rain says that nothing is more responsible than doing whatХs in your power to make another human being happy. It's a hundred and seventy-five dollars. Do they accept checks?

MRS.DON. Things are thawing slightly between Cap &my daughter. Her father finally remembered to send back her extremely belated birthday present. Truth be told, I'd never expected to see it again, &don't think Sophie had either. So imagine my surprise! There was no card, only the engraving: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE. Sophie was thrilled. It almost made up for the fact that he had walked out of her life yet again. (Coming home, sees them on the couch) Oh! Trigono-metry &Tears! that awful teen soap opera geared to the interest level of chimpanzees &various species of plant life! (Cap wants to put his arm around Sophie. Slams) Who's up for a nice tall glass of lemonade?

SOPHIE. (exclaims) Mother! What century is this?

SCENE 10TO BE CONTINUED!

NAOMI. (comes up to Hugh and Cap, flanked by Lena &Darryl) Hi, Cap.

HUGH. I am invisible to her. Or I am like Cap's pet ferret, a subhuman companion, undeserving of attention.

DARRYL. We're walking in the March of Caring this weekend, and we need sponsors. (looks him up &down, a threatening expression on his face) It's for a really good cause.

HUGH. (pulls a pair of crumpled dollar bills from his pocket, purchasing wedgie insurance) Sorry it can't be more.

NAOMI. (With a grunt of acknowledgment, Darryl snatches the money out of his hand &passes it on to Lena) What do you say, Cap?

HUGH. (Cap takes out the checkbook &begins writing on it. Hugh frowns) Isn't that the school's money?

CAP. Mr. Kasigi said spend it responsibly. What could be more responsible than giving to charity?

HUGH. Paying for the dance. That's what it's supposed to be for.

CAP. (serene) I've been inside that bank, Hugh. They've got plenty of money for everything. (tears off &hands it to Naomi)

LENA. (Naomi takes one look &lets out a shriek. Lena gawks over her shoulder) A thousand dollars?

HUGH. (wheeling) What? Are you nuts? You can't give away that much!

CAP. (lecturing) Rain says there should be no limit on giving. Only taking.

HUGH. She's not the one Mr. Kasigi's going to strangle! (excited buzz. Lena takes the check &holds it up for the crowd; oohs &aahs.)

NAOMI. (crying) You're awesome, Cap! Awesome!

DARRYL. (nods fervently) You're the man!

HUGH. (everybody is clapping &cheering) Look at the check!The school's name is printed,right on it! This money is yours, mine, all of ours! Р Oh! He is a star now. Nobody questions it when he does something wonderful, because that's exactly what is expected of him. (Cap pushes his way through high fives. Hugh follows him, struggling with his feelings) - Must be nice.

CAP. It is nice. I couldn't have imagined how good it feels when so many people like you.

HUGH. (recoils as if he slapped him) To say that to me, someone who's never experienced a popular minute, much less a popular day, is beyond cruel. (in bursts Naomi, throws her arms around Cap &presses a long kiss right on his mouth)

NAOMI. (meaningfully) To be continued. (runs out of the bathroom. He, shocked, crumples against the wall)

HUGH. Hero status isn't good enough for him anymore. He has to be a heartthrob too. I am finished with Capricorn Anderson!

ZAC. How can a hippie who knows less than nothing about parties organize the school bash of everybody's dreams?

LENA. (Accusing) It's your own fault. You recruited half the school to bug him, and he turned them into volunteers.

NAOMI. (enthusiastically)This is going to be the greatest party we've ever had! I'll bet we get a thousand kids.

ZACH. (shortly) And that's just the planning committee.

NAOMI. What's wrong with that?

LENA. (putting in) Ignore him. He's in mourning because he thinks Cap stole his year.

ZACH. (correcting) Ouryear. And he's making it into 1967!

DARRYL. You shouldn't be so hard on Cap. Sure, he's weird, but he's the best 8th grade president we've ever had.

ZACH. (seethig) Eighth grade president isn't a real job. It's a joke, remember?

NAOMI. (earnestly) Well, maybe it started that way. But Cap Anderson is the most amazing person I've ever known.

ZACH. (snorting) Anybody can be amazing handing out thousand-dollar checks. - Now what is up with all this charity? He gave 8hundred to the food drive in the cafeteria. 500 to cancer research. It bugs me. The 8th grade president isn't supposed to set a good example. His job is to make an idiot out of himself &have a nervous breakdown. But no, the assistant principal has to set Cap up for sainthood! And I am the one paying the price. My year. Yeah, right. More like my minute. (walks out of the food line with his tray) What? Him? At my table, in my seat? (Fuming, he turns away. Crash! It is a tray-to-tray collision. Hugh stands frozen with fear.Furious) You! (Hugh stares at Cap,who now has no time for him.&Zach stares at his friends)

HUGH. (nervously) Uh, sorry.

ZACH. Don't worry about it. Listen - we've got to talk. (He looks so suspicious that Zach feels a pang of remorse for the mean things heХs said &done to him) About Cap Anderson, and everything that's been going on.

HUGH. (expands his tunnel vision on Cap. Sneers) Oh-ho-ho! Looks like somebody's been replaced!

ZACH. (swallows his pride) You'll notice Cap isn't hanging with you anymore.

HUGH. (resentfully) I was his friend when no one else would talk to him. When you were trying to ruin his life.

ZACH. Well, whatever we were plotting, it obviously didn't happen. He's practically the king of the school. (Hugh nods slowly) I don't like it either. (pressing) It doesn't have to be this way.

HUGH. (rounding ZACH). You are such a jerk! Whoever told you that the whole world performs according to your instructions? That's what started this whole mess - you trying to make poor Cap dance to your tune!

ZACH. (pouncing) And you let Cap swallow the hook! Now who's the manipulator? You're just as guilty as I am.

HUGH. (hotly) Maybe so.

ZACH. But there's still time before the Halloween dance ratchets him up to icon status.

HUGH. No way! Just because I'm mad at Cap doesn't mean I'm going to help you stab him in the back!

ZACH. (At his table, Naomi leans over &dabs delicately at a ketchup smear on the side of Cap's mouth. almost upchuck) Will you look at that!

HUGH. (watching too, his face twisted with distaste) To be continued. - What do you need me to do?

ZACH. (shrugging) Simple. The whole school thinks he's immortal. We just have to show them they're wrong.

SCENE 11PEP RALLY AND ITS CONSEQUENCES

CAP. Sophie says I have to "get a life."How can I get a life when I am obviously already alive? The best thing about being 8th grade president is definitely the checks Mr.Kasigi has given me. It is funny - a money-obsessed world was the main reason Rain formed Garland. Yet, in my experience, money is really excellent, &every time I spend it, someone ends up smiling. Money can help hospitals&disaster victims&starving orphans.What is so terrible about it?Mr.Kasigi will be back next week &see how good I've become at using money. He is going to be impressed.

HUGH. (explaining to CAP) Classes are canceled so everyone can go to the football field. It's a pep rally.

CAP. (repeating) Pep?

HUGH. You know, cheering, excitement, rah, rah, rah. The whole school gets together to watch the players bonk helmets and beat their chests. We play Rhinecliff on Saturday, and they're our biggest rivals.

CAP. Over what?

HUGH. Football, of course. And as the eighth grade president, you have an important role.

(Cap follows Hugh in a noisy procession, with horns &cowbells &excited voices chanting rhyming cheers)

CAP. Rain &I aren't sports fans, what with the obsession over winning &losing. But...What's my part in all this?

HUGH. You just have to show your support for the team.

(leads him into lockerrooms, VISITORS, places a set of pads on his shoulders. Running feet clatter outside. The field explodes with cheers &deafening metallic boom of thousands of feet on the bleachers. Some music. Hugh eases a yellow football jersey over his head & tucks his hair under a helmet)

CAP. (peering out as if from behind a fence.) Is that really necessary?

HUGH. Definitely. Now get out there and make the school proud. (The crowd noise swells to a deafening crescendo.)

CAP. Sounds angry. Mean, even. A sea of hostile facesЙ (starts walking toward the players)They pick up speed.The ground shakes.They are all dressed in blue &red. (peers at his yellow chest &reads: RHINECLIFF)Why am I dressed as the other team?

ZACH. (yelling) Get him!

DARRYL. (gets there 1st. lets the roar of the crowd fill him like rocket fuel.) I swear it never once crossed my mind to wonder who this kid was. It had to be a good athlete who could take a big hit. The instant I made contact, I realized I was dead wrong. It was like tackling a punter's little sister. The worst feeling I ever had. (tries to roll off, screaming at the others) Stop!

(A wave of guided missiles. Darryl is at the bottom. The crowd howls every time another Condor piles on. the coaches pull off bodies &toss them aside.)

PULASKI. (bellowing) What's the matter with you people? What was that all about?

DARRYL. (jumps up &stares at him) Wait a minute! That wasn't planned? (The coach gets the helmet off the guy in the Rhinecliff jersey.) Cap, are you okay? (sudden silence at the sight of Cap stretched out, dazed, on the grass. Drops to his knees beside CAP. CAP starts to say smth, but it comes out a low gurgle. The coaches haul Cap to his feet. Supporting him on each side, they walk him back to the building. Everyone is shocked)

PULASKI. (turns) Nobody moves. Not a muscle. You hear me? (They hustle Cap away. Silent, they fall in line behind, like at a funeral)

DARRYL. (looks at his teammates, moving from face to face) What happened? Why was Cap in that uniform?

KICKER. I guess he volunteered.

DARRYL. Volunteered for what? That wasn't supposed to be part of the rally. The coaches knew nothing about it.

ZACH. (suggesting) Maybe Cap did the whole thing on his own. Even you have to admit he's not Joe Average.

DARRYL. That should have been enough for me.The word of Zach Powers. He is the guy who convinced me I wasn't as stupid as I think I probably am. Before Zach, school was pure torture for me. Imagine spending 180 days a year in a place that's designed to take everything you're not good at &make it important. Zach rewrote those rules for me. School has nothing to do with learning &knowing &getting the right answers. School is about sports &girls &fun &being popular, because you're good at sports, hang out with the right girls, &have a lot of fun. But now Р

(Pulaski bursts back, his face a thundercloud.)

PULASKI. If there's one thing I tried to teach you besides the fundamentals of football, it's to use your head for something more than a place to put your helmet! What in God's name were you thinking?

RECEIVER. (protesting) Honest, Coach. We didn't know it was Cap.

PULASKI. (his eyes bulge) But you knew it was somebody! Why would you think it's ever okay for twenty guys to pile on some poor kid?

DARRYL. (asking in a small voice) Is Cap going to be okay?

PULASKI. Probably - no thanks to you. Now, I've got to ask you: who put that boy up to playing kamikaze?(They study their shoes, dead silence) Fine, don't tell me. But this isn't over. I'm disgusted with every last one of you!

KID. What went wrong?

KID. Is Cap going to be all right?

KID. Cap might take revenge on the team by running us over with a school bus!

DARRYL. (exploding) Come on! There's no revenge! It was an accident!

NAOMI. (beyond furious) Oh, sure, twenty guys accidentally jumped on him.

DARRYL. Okay, that part was on purpose.But we didn't mean for it to be Cap.We didn't mean for it to be anybody.

(Darryl heaves a sigh of relief. The shame brings sudden tears to his eyes. She sticks her finger in his face)

LENA. Don't you dare start blubbering on me. None of this was your fault. It was Winkleman.

DARRYL. (blown away)Hugh Winkleman?At lunch yesterday!Hugh at a corner table,deep in conversation with Zach!

(bursting out of his shirt in sheer rage)

LENA. (in alarm) Darryl, what's wrong? (races to Zach's locker, clears a path with his shoulder.Zach's expression gives it all away. Accusing)

DARR. You! You did that to Cap! You couldn't fight your own battles! You had to use the whole team as a weapon!

ZACH. You're delusional! (sneering, superior put-down tone)You're just feeling guilty because you're the one who hit him! You practically broke your neck doing it.

DARRYL. (getting madder) You are one hundred percent right, you jerk! (Cap joins the spectators around)

ZACH. To be honest, I'm kind of impressed, Darryl. I never knew you could get that kind of speed out of that fat caboose of yours. (Darryl snaps with his knuckles. Cap gets between them.)

CAP. Violence is not the answer.

(Darryl feels his fist slamming into something &sees Zach, untouched &laughing. Down at his feet is Cap, out cold, his nose gushing blood like a geyser.)

DARRYL. (whimpers, horror-struck) Not again! No! (The hall explodes with agitated chatter.)

ZACH. (hysterical) That's the 2nd time today that you've decked this kid. If you get any closer, you'll probably kill him!

DARRYL. (glancing at Zach, hauling Cap off the floor, bawling at the crowd) Help me! (2 6th graders rush up to support Cap on the side. he is starting to come around, mumbling about peace &nonviolence. Blood is still pouring from his nose)

NURSE. (demanding) You were in a fight?

DARRYL. Not with Cap! I was trying to punch someone else! It was all because of nonviolence!

NURSE. (coldly) I can see that.

DARRYL. (sitting in the principalХs office) I am getting a lot of dirty looks! The worst part is that I like Cap now. Sure, I was awful to him when we made him president as a joke &sent him wandering after fake press conferences &stole his shoes. What a bunch of jerks we were. And Cap never fell apart, or ratted us out, or even got mad. I don't care that he can drive a bus or plan a dance. Cap Anderson is quality. I am never going to forgive myself. An ambulance? No. It canХt be. Not for Cap! (Nurse escorts a shaky, blood-spattered Cap. Darryl blasts through the doors,cups hands to his mouth) Cap, I'm sorry! It was an acci

Дата добавления: 2015-11-05