Jennie Gerhardt, by Theodore Dreiser 16 страница

“Jennie.

“P.S. I expect to go to Cleveland with papa. He needs me. He is all alone. But don’t come for me, Lester. It’s best that you shouldn’t.”

She put this in an envelope, sealed it, and, having hidden it in her bosom, for the time being, awaited the hour when she could conveniently take her departure.

It was several days before she could bring herself to the actual execution of the plan, but one afternoon, Lester, having telephoned that he would not be home for a day or two, she packed some necessary garments for herself and Vesta in several trunks, and sent for an expressman. She thought of telegraphing her father that she was coming; but, seeing he had no home, she thought it would be just as well to go and find him. George and Veronica had not taken all the furniture. The major portion of it was in storage — so Gerhardt had written. She might take that and furnish a little home or flat. She was ready for the end, waiting for the expressman, when the door opened and in walked Lester.

For some unforeseen reason he had changed his mind. He was not in the least psychic or intuitional, but on this occasion his feelings had served him a peculiar turn. He had thought of going for a day’s duck-shooting with some friends in the Kankakee Marshes south of Chicago, but had finally changed his mind; he even decided to go out to the house early. What prompted this he could not have said.

As he neared the house he felt a little peculiar about coming home so early; then at the sight of the two trunks standing in the middle of the room he stood dumbfounded. What did it mean — Jennie dressed and ready to depart? And Vesta in a similar condition? He stared in amazement, his brown eyes keen in inquiry.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Why — why —” she began, falling back. “I was going away.”

“Where to?”

“I thought I would go to Cleveland,” she replied.

“What for?”

“Why — why — I meant to tell you, Lester, that I didn’t think I ought to stay here any longer this way. I didn’t think it was right. I thought I’d tell you, but I couldn’t. I wrote you a letter.”

“A letter,” he exclaimed. “What the deuce are you talking about? Where is the letter?”

“There,” she said, mechanically pointing to a small centre-table where the letter lay conspicuous on a large book.

“And you were really going to leave me, Jennie, with just a letter?” said Lester, his voice hardening a little as he spoke. “I swear to heaven you are beyond me. What’s the point?” He tore open the envelope and looked at the beginning. “Better send Vesta from the room,” he suggested.

She obeyed. Then she came back and stood there pale and wide-eyed, looking at the wall, at the trunks, and at him. Lester read the letter thoughtfully. He shifted his position once or twice, then dropped the paper on the floor.

“Well, I’ll tell you, Jennie,” he said finally, looking at her curiously and wondering just what he was going to say. Here again was his chance to end this relationship if he wished. He couldn’t feel that he did wish it, seeing how peacefully things were running. They had gone so far together it seemed ridiculous to quit now. He truly loved her — there was no doubt of that. Still he did not want to marry her — could not very well. She knew that. Her letter said as much. “You have this thing wrong,” he went on slowly. “I don’t know what comes over you at times, but you don’t view the situation right. I’ve told you before that I can’t marry you — not now, anyhow. There are too many big things involved in this, which you don’t know anything about. I love you, you know that. But my family has to be taken into consideration, and the business. You can’t see the difficulties raised on these scores, but I can. Now I don’t want you to leave me. I care too much about you. I can’t prevent you, of course. You can go if you want to. But I don’t think you ought to want to. You don’t really, do you? Sit down a minute.”

Jennie, who had been counting on getting away without being seen, was now thoroughly nonplussed. To have him begin a quiet argument — a plea as it were. It hurt her. He, Lester, pleading with her, and she loved him so. She went over to him, and he took her hand. “Now, listen,” he said. “There’s really nothing to be gained by your leaving me at present. Where did you say you were going?”

“To Cleveland,” she replied.

“Well, how did you expect to get along?”

“I thought I’d take papa, if he’d come with me — he’s alone now — and get something to do, maybe.”

“Well, what can you do, Jennie, different from what you ever have done? You wouldn’t expect to be a lady’s maid again, would you? Or clerk in a store?”

“I thought I might get some place as a housekeeper,” she suggested. She had been counting up her possibilities, and this was the most promising idea that had occurred to her.

“No, no,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “There’s nothing to that. There’s nothing in this whole move of yours except a notion. Why, you won’t be any better off morally than you are right now. You can’t undo the past. It doesn’t make any difference, anyhow. I can’t marry you now. I might in the future, but I can’t tell anything about that, and I don’t want to promise anything. You’re not going to leave me though with my consent, and if you were going I wouldn’t have you dropping back into any such thing as you’re contemplating. I’ll make some provision for you. You don’t really want to leave me, do you, Jennie?”

Against Lester’s strong personality and vigorous protest Jennie’s own conclusions and decisions went to pieces. Just the pressure of his hand was enough to upset her. Now she began to cry.

“Don’t cry, Jennie,” he said. “This thing may work out better than you think. Let it rest for a while. Take off your things. You’re not going to leave me any more, are you?”

“No-o-o!” she sobbed.

He took her in his lap. “Let things rest as they are,” he went on. “It’s a curious world. Things can’t be adjusted in a minute. They may work out. I’m putting up with some things myself that I ordinarily wouldn’t stand for.”

He finally saw her restored to comparative calmness, smiling sadly through her tears.

“Now you put those things away,” he said genially, pointing to the trunks. “Besides, I want you to promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?” asked Jennie.

“No more concealment of anything, do you hear? No more thinking out things for yourself, and acting without my knowing anything about it. If you have anything on your mind, I want you to come out with it. I’m not going to eat you! Talk to me about whatever is troubling you. I’ll help you solve it, or, if I can’t, at least there won’t be any concealment between us.”

“I know, Lester,” she said earnestly, looking him straight in the eyes. “I promise I’ll never conceal anything any more — truly I won’t. I’ve been afraid, but I won’t be now. You can trust me.”

“That sounds like what you ought to be,” he replied. “I know you will.” And he let her go.

A few days later, and in consequence of this agreement, the future of Gerhardt came up for discussion. Jennie had been worrying about him for several days; now it occurred to her that this was something to talk over with Lester. Accordingly, she explained one night at dinner what had happened in Cleveland. “I know he is very unhappy there all alone,” she said, “and I hate to think of it. I was going to get him if I went back to Cleveland. Now I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Why don’t you send him some money?” he inquired.

“He won’t take any more money from me, Lester,” she explained. “He thinks I’m not good — not acting right. He doesn’t believe I’m married.”

“He has pretty good reason, hasn’t he?” said Lester calmly.

“I hate to think of him sleeping in a factory. He’s so old and lonely.”

“What’s the matter with the rest of the family in Cleveland? Won’t they do anything for him? Where’s your brother Bass?”

“I think maybe they don’t want him, he’s so cross,” she said simply.

“I hardly know what to suggest in that case,” smiled Lester. “The old gentleman oughtn’t to be so fussy.”

“I know,” she said, “but he’s old now, and he has had so much trouble.”

Lester ruminated for a while, toying with his fork. “I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking, Jennie,” he said finally. “There’s no use living this way any longer, if we’re going to stick it out. I’ve been thinking that we might take a house out in Hyde Park. It’s something of a run from the office, but I’m not much for this apartment life. You and Vesta would be better off for a yard. In that case you might bring your father on to live with us. He couldn’t do any harm pottering about; indeed, he might help keep things straight.”

“Oh, that would just suit papa, if he’d come,” she replied. “He loves to fix things, and he’d cut the grass and look after the furnace. But he won’t come unless he’s sure I’m married.”

“I don’t know how that could be arranged unless you could show the old gentleman a marriage certificate. He seems to want something that can’t be produced very well. A steady job he’d have running the furnace of a country house,” he added meditatively.

Jennie did not notice the grimness of the jest. She was too busy thinking what a tangle she had made of her life. Gerhardt would not come now, even if they had a lovely home to share with him. And yet he ought to be with Vesta again. She would make him happy.

She remained lost in a sad abstraction, until Lester, following the drift of her thoughts, said: “I don’t see how it can be arranged. Marriage certificate blanks aren’t easily procurable. It’s bad business — a criminal offence to forge one, I believe. I wouldn’t want to be mixed up in that sort of thing.”

“Oh, I don’t want you to do anything like that, Lester. I’m just sorry papa is so stubborn. When he gets a notion you can’t change him.”

“Suppose we wait until we get settled after moving,” he suggested. “Then you can go to Cleveland and talk to him personally. You might be able to persuade him.” He liked her attitude toward her father. It was so decent that he rather wished he could help her carry out her scheme. While not very interesting, Gerhardt was not objectionable to Lester, and if the old man wanted to do the odd jobs around a big place, why not?

❦

Chapter XXXVII

The plan for a residence in Hyde Park was not long in taking shape. After several weeks had passed, and things had quieted down again, Lester invited Jennie to go with him to South Hyde Park to look for a house. On the first trip they found something which seemed to suit admirably — an old-time home of eleven large rooms, set in a lawn fully two hundred feet square and shaded by trees which had been planted when the city was young. It was ornate, homelike, peaceful. Jennie was fascinated by the sense of space and country, although depressed by the reflection that she was not entering her new home under the right auspices. She had vaguely hoped that in planning to go away she was bringing about a condition under which Lester might have come after her and married her. Now all that was over. She had promised to stay, and she would have to make the best of it. She suggested that they would never know what to do with so much room, but he waved that aside. “We will very likely have people in now and then,” he said. “We can furnish it up anyhow, and see how it looks.” He had the agent make out a five-year lease, with an option for renewal, and set at once the forces to work to put the establishment in order.

The house was painted and decorated, the lawn put in order, and everything done to give the place a trim and satisfactory appearance. There was a large, comfortable library and sitting-room, a big dining-room, a handsome reception hall, a parlour, a large kitchen, serving-room, and in fact, all the ground-floor essentials of a comfortable home. On the second floor were bedrooms, baths, and the maid’s room. It was all very comfortable and harmonious, and Jennie took an immense pride and pleasure in getting things in order.

Immediately after moving in, Jennie, with Lester’s permission, wrote to her father asking him to come to her. She did not say that she was married, but left it to be inferred. She descanted on the beauty of the neighbourhood, the size of the yard, and the manifold conveniences of the establishment. “It is so very nice,” she added, “you would like it, papa. Vesta is here and goes to school every day. Won’t you come and stay with us? It’s so much better than living in a factory. And I would like to have you so.”

Gerhardt read this letter with a solemn countenance. Was it really true? Would they be taking a larger house if they were not permanently united? After all these years and all this lying? Could he have been mistaken? Well, it was high time — but should he go? He had lived alone this long time now — should he go to Chicago and live with Jennie? Her appeal did touch him, but somehow he decided against it. That would be too generous an acknowledgment of the fact that there had been fault on his side as well as on hers.

Jennie was disappointed at Gerhardt’s refusal. She talked it over with Lester, and decided that she would go on to Cleveland and see him. Accordingly, she made the trip, hunted up the factory, a great rumbling furniture concern in one of the poorest sections of the city, and inquired at the office for her father. The clerk directed her to a distant warehouse, and Gerhardt was informed that a lady wished to see him. He crawled out of his humble cot and came down, curious as to who it could be. When Jennie saw him in his dusty, baggy clothes, his hair grey, his eyebrows shaggy, coming out of the dark door, a keen sense of the pathetic moved her again. “Poor papa!” she thought. He came toward her, his inquisitorial eye softened a little by his consciousness of the affection that had inspired her visit. “What are you come for?” he asked cautiously.

“I want you to come home with me, papa,” she pleaded yearningly. “I don’t want you to stay here any more. I can’t think of you living alone any longer.”

“So,” he said, nonplussed, “that brings you?”

“Yes,” she replied; “Won’t you? Don’t stay here.”

“I have a good bed,” he explained by way of apology for his state.

“I know,” she replied, “but we have a good home now and Vesta is there. Won’t you come? Lester wants you to.”

“Tell me one thing,” he demanded. “Are you married?”

“Yes,” she replied, lying hopelessly. “I have been married a long time. You can ask Lester when you come.” She could scarcely look him in the face, but she managed somehow, and he believed her.

“Well,” he said, “it is time.”

“Won’t you come, papa?” she pleaded.

He threw out his hands after his characteristic manner. The urgency of her appeal touched him to the quick. “Yes, I come,” he said, and turned; but she saw by his shoulders what was happening. He was crying.

“Now, papa?” she pleaded.

For answer he walked back into the dark warehouse to get his things.

❦

Chapter XXXVIII

Gerhardt, having become an inmate of the Hyde Park home, at once bestirred himself about the labours which he felt instinctively concerned him. He took charge of the furnace and the yard, outraged at the thought that good money should be paid to any outsider when he had nothing to do. The trees, he declared to Jennie, were in a dreadful condition. If Lester would get him a pruning knife and a saw he would attend to them in the spring. In Germany they knew how to care for such things, but these Americans were so shiftless. Then he wanted tools and nails, and in time all the closets and shelves were put in order. He found a Lutheran Church almost two miles away, and declared that it was better than the one in Cleveland. The pastor, of course, was a heaven-sent son of divinity. And nothing would do but that Vesta must go to church with him regularly.

Jennie and Lester settled down into the new order of living with some misgivings; certain difficulties were sure to arise. On the North Side it had been easy for Jennie to shun neighbours and say nothing. Now they were occupying a house of some pretensions; their immediate neighbours would feel it their duty to call, and Jennie would have to play the part of an experienced hostess. She and Lester had talked this situation over. It might as well be understood here, he said, that they were husband and wife. Vesta was to be introduced as Jennie’s daughter by her first marriage, her husband, a Mr. Stover (her mother’s maiden name), having died immediately after the child’s birth. Lester, of course, was the stepfather. This particular neighbourhood was so far from the fashionable heart of Chicago that Lester did not expect to run into many of his friends. He explained to Jennie the ordinary formalities of social intercourse, so that when the first visitor called Jennie might be prepared to receive her. Within a fortnight this first visitor arrived in the person of Mrs. Jacob Stendahl, a woman of considerable importance in this particular section. She lived five doors from Jennie — the houses of the neighbourhood were all set in spacious lawns — and drove up in her carriage, on her return from her shopping, one afternoon.

“Is Mrs. Kane in?” she asked of Jeannette, the new maid.

“I think so, mam,” answered the girl. “Won’t you let me have your card?”

The card was given and taken to Jennie, who looked at it curiously.

When Jennie came into the parlour Mrs. Stendahl, a tall dark, inquisitive-looking woman, greeted her most cordially.

“I thought I would take the liberty of intruding on you,” she said most winningly. “I am one of your neighbours. I live on the other side of the street, some few doors up. Perhaps you have seen the house — the one with the white stone gate-posts.”

“Oh, yes indeed,” replied Jennie. “I know it well. Mr. Kane and I were admiring it the first day we came out here.”

“I know of your husband, of course, by reputation. My husband is connected with the Wilkes Frog and Switch Company.”

Jennie bowed her head. She knew that the latter concern must be something important and profitable from the way in which Mrs. Stendahl spoke of it.

“We have lived here quite a number of years, and I know how you must feel coming as a total stranger to a new section of the city. I hope you will find time to come in and see me some afternoon. I shall be most pleased. My regular reception day is Thursday.”

“Indeed I shall,” answered Jennie, a little nervously, for the ordeal was a trying one. “I appreciate your goodness in calling. Mr. Kane is very busy as a rule, but when he is at home I am sure he would be most pleased to meet you and your husband.”

“You must both come over some evening,” replied Mrs. Stendahl. “We lead a very quiet life. My husband is not much for social gatherings. But we enjoy our neighbourhood friends.”

Jennie smiled her assurances of good-will. She accompanied Mrs. Stendahl to the door, and shook hands with her. “I’m so glad to find you so charming,” observed Mrs. Stendahl frankly.

“Oh, thank you,” said Jennie flushing a little. “I’m sure I don’t deserve so much praise.”

“Well, now I will expect you some afternoon. Good-bye,” and she waved a gracious farewell.

“That wasn’t so bad,” thought Jennie as she watched Mrs. Stendahl drive away. “She is very nice, I think. I’ll tell Lester about her.”

Among the other callers were a Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael Burke, a Mrs. Hanson Field, and a Mrs. Timothy Ballinger — all of whom left cards, or stayed to chat a few minutes. Jennie found herself taken quite seriously as a woman of importance, and she did her best to support the dignity of her position. And, indeed, she did exceptionally well. She was most hospitable and gracious. She had a kindly smile and a manner wholly natural; she succeeded in making a most favourable impression. She explained to her guests that she had been living on the North Side until recently, that HER HUSBAND, Mr. Kane, had long wanted to have a home in Hyde Park, that her father and daughter were living here, and that Lester was the child’s stepfather. She said she hoped to repay all these nice attentions and to be a good neighbour.

Lester heard about these calls in the evening, for he did not care to meet these people. Jennie came to enjoy it in a mild way. She liked making new friends, and she was hoping that something definite could be worked out here which would make Lester look upon her as a good wife and an ideal companion. Perhaps, some day, he might really want to marry her.

First impressions are not always permanent, as Jennie was soon to discover. The neighbourhood had accepted her perhaps a little too hastily, and now rumours began to fly about. A Mrs. Sommerville, calling on Mrs. Craig, one of Jennie’s near neighbours, intimated that she knew who Lester was —“oh, yes, indeed. You know, my dear,” she went on, “his reputation is just a little —” she raised her eyebrows and her hand at the same time.

“You don’t say!” commented her friend curiously. “He looks like such a staid, conservative person.”

“Oh, no doubt, in a way, he is,” went on Mrs. Sommerville. “His family is of the very best. There was some young woman he went with — so my husband tells me. I don’t know whether this is the one or not, but she was introduced as a Miss Gorwood, or some such name as that, when they were living together as husband and wife on the North Side.”

“Tst! Tst! Tst!” clicked Mrs. Craig with her tongue at this astonishing news. “You don’t tell me! Come to think of it, it must be the same woman. Her father’s name is Gerhardt.”

“Gerhardt!” exclaimed Mrs. Sommerville. “Yes, that’s the name. It seems to me that there was some earlier scandal in connection with her — at least there was a child. Whether he married her afterward or not, I don’t know. Anyhow, I understand his family will not have anything to do with her.”

“How very interesting!” exclaimed Mrs. Craig. “And to think he should have married her afterward, if he really did. I’m sure you can’t tell with whom you’re coming in contact these days, can you?”

“It’s so true. Life does get badly mixed at times. She appears to be a charming woman.”

“Delightful!” exclaimed Mrs. Craig. “Quite naive. I was really taken with her.”

“Well, it may be,” went on her guest, “that this isn’t the same woman after all. I may be mistaken.”

“Oh, I hardly think so. Gerhardt! She told me they had been living on the North Side.”

“Then I’m sure it’s the same person. How curious that you should speak of her!”

“It is, indeed,” went on Mrs. Craig, who was speculating as to what her attitude toward Jennie should be in the future.

Other rumours came from other sources. There were people who had seen Jennie and Lester out driving on the North Side, who had been introduced to her as Miss Gerhardt, who knew what the Kane family thought. Of course her present position, the handsome house, the wealth of Lester, the beauty of Vesta — all these things helped to soften the situation. She was apparently too circumspect, too much the good wife and mother, too really nice to be angry with; but she had a past, and that had to be taken into consideration.

An opening bolt of the coming storm fell upon Jennie one day when Vesta, returning from school, suddenly asked: “Mamma, who was my papa?”

“His name was Stover, dear,” replied her mother, struck at once by the thought that there might have been some criticism — that some one must have been saying something. “Why do you ask?”

“Where was I born?” continued Vesta, ignoring the last inquiry, and interested in clearing up her own identity.

“In Columbus, Ohio, pet. Why?”

“Anita Ballinger said I didn’t have any papa, and that you weren’t ever married when you had me. She said I wasn’t a really, truly girl at all — just a nobody. She made me so mad I slapped her.”

Jennie’s face grew rigid. She sat staring straight before her. Mrs. Ballinger had called, and Jennie had thought her peculiarly gracious and helpful in her offer of assistance, and now her little daughter had said this to Vesta. Where did the child hear it?

“You mustn’t pay any attention to her, dearie,” said Jennie at last. “She doesn’t know. Your papa was Mr. Stover, and you were born in Columbus. You mustn’t fight other little girls. Of course they say nasty things when they fight — sometimes things they don’t really mean. Just let her alone and don’t go near her any more. Then she won’t say anything to you.”

It was a lame explanation, but it satisfied Vesta for the time being. “I’ll slap her if she tries to slap me,” she persisted.

“You mustn’t go near her, pet, do you hear? Then she can’t try to slap you,” returned her mother. “Just go about your studies, and don’t mind her. She can’t quarrel with you if you don’t let her.”

Vesta went away leaving Jennie brooding over her words. The neighbours were talking. Her history was becoming gossip. How had they found out.

It is one thing to nurse a single thrust, another to have the wound opened from time to time by additional stabs. One day Jennie, having gone to call on Mrs. Hanson Field, who was her immediate neighbour, met a Mrs. Williston Baker, who was there taking tea. Mrs. Baker knew of the Kanes, of Jennie’s history on the North Side, and the attitude of the Kane family. She was a thin, vigorous, intellectual woman, somewhat on the order of Mrs. Bracebridge, and very careful of her social connections. She had always considered Mrs. Field a woman of the same rigid circumspectness of attitude, and when she found Jennie calling there she was outwardly calm but inwardly irritated. “This is Mrs. Kane, Mrs. Baker,” said Mrs. Field, introducing her guests with a smiling countenance. Mrs. Baker looked at Jennie ominously.

“Mrs. Lester Kane?” she inquired.

“Yes,” replied Mrs. Field

“Indeed,” she went on freezingly. “I’ve heard a great deal about Mrs.—” accenting the word —“Mrs. Lester Kane.”

She turned to Mrs. Field, ignoring Jennie completely, and started an intimate conversation in which Jennie could have no possible share. Jennie stood helplessly by, unable to formulate a thought which would be suitable to so trying a situation. Mrs. Baker soon announced her departure, although she had intended to stay longer. “I can’t remain another minute,” she said; “I promised Mrs. Neil that I would step in to see her today. I’m sure I’ve bored you enough already as it is.”

She walked to the door, not troubling to look at Jennie until she was nearly out of the room. Then she looked in her direction, and gave her a frigid nod.

“We meet such curious people now and again,” she observed finally to her hostess as she swept away.

Mrs. Field did not feel able to defend Jennie, for she herself was in no notable social position, and was endeavouring, like every other middle-class woman of means, to get along. She did not care to offend Mrs. Williston Baker, who was socially so much more important than Jennie. She came back to where Jennie was sitting, smiling apologetically, but she was a little bit flustered. Jennie was out of countenance, of course. Presently she excused herself and went home. She had been cut deeply by the slight offered her, and she felt that Mrs. Field realised that she had made a mistake in ever taking her up. There would be no additional exchange of visits there — that she knew. The old hopeless feeling came over her that her life was a failure. It couldn’t be made right, if it could, it wouldn’t be. Lester was not inclined to marry her and put her right.

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