did not propose that she should. His one troublesome thought was, what
explanation was to be made to Vesta. He liked her very much and wanted
her "life kept free of complications.
"Why not send her off to a boarding-school until spring?" he
suggested once; but owing to the lateness of the season this was
abandoned as inadvisable. Later they agreed that business affairs made
it necessary for him to travel and for Jennie to move. Later Vesta
could be told that Jennie had left him for any reason she chose to
give. It was a trying situation, all the more bitter to Jennie because
she realized that in spite of the wisdom of it indifference to her was
involved. He really did not care enough, as much as he
cared.
The relationship of man and woman which we study so passionately in
the hope of finding heaven knows what key to the mystery of existence
holds no more difficult or trying situation than this of mutual
compatibility broken or disrupted by untoward conditions which in
themselves have so little to do with the real force and beauty of the
relationship itself. These days of final dissolution in which this
household, so charmingly arranged, the scene of so many pleasant
activities, was literally going to pieces was a period of great trial
to both Jennie and Lester. On her part it was one of intense
suffering, for she was of that stable nature that rejoices to fix
itself in a serviceable and harmonious relationship, and then stay so.
For her life was made up of those mystic chords of sympathy and memory
which bind up the transient elements of nature into a harmonious and
enduring scene. One of those chords--this home was her home,
united and made beautiful by her affection and consideration for each
person and every object. Now the time had come when it must cease.
If she had ever had anything before in her life which had been like
this it might have been easier to part with it now, though, as she had
proved, Jennie's affections were not based in any way upon material
considerations. Her love of life and of personality were free from the
taint of selfishness. She went about among these various rooms
selecting this rug, that set of furniture, this and that ornament,
wishing all the time with all her heart and soul that it need not be.
Just to think, in a little while Lester would not come any more of an
evening! She would not need to get up first of a morning and see that
coffee was made for her lord, that the table in the dining-room looked
just so. It had been a habit of hers to arrange a bouquet for the
table out of the richest blooming flowers of the conservatory, and she
had always felt in doing it that it was particularly for him. Now it
would not be necessary any more--not for him. When one is
accustomed to wait for the sound of a certain carriage-wheel of an
evening grating upon your carriage drive, when one is used to listen
at eleven, twelve, and one, waking naturally and joyfully to the echo
of a certain step on the stair, the separation, the ending of these
things, is keen with pain. These were the thoughts that were running
through Jennie's brain hour after hour and day after day.
Lester on his part was suffering in another fashion. His was not
the sorrow of lacerated affection, of discarded and despised love, but
of that painful sense of unfairness which comes to one who knows that
he is making a sacrifice of the virtues--kindness, loyalty,
affection--to policy. Policy was dictating a very splendid course
of action from one point of view. Free of Jennie, providing for her
admirably, he was free to go his way, taking to himself the mass of
affairs which come naturally with great wealth. He could not help
thinking of the thousand and one little things which Jennie had been
accustomed to do for him, the hundred and one comfortable and pleasant
and delightful things she meant to him. The virtues which she
possessed were quite dear to his mind. He had gone over them time and
again. Now he was compelled to go over them finally, to see that she
was suffering without making a sign. Her manner and attitude toward
him in these last days were quite the same as they had always
been--no more, no less. She was not indulging in private
hysterics, as another woman might have done; she was not pretending a
fortitude in suffering she did not feel, showing him one face while
wishing him to see another behind it. She was calm, gentle,
considerate--thoughtful of him--where he would go and what
he would do, without irritating him by her inquiries. He was struck
quite favorably by her ability to take a large situation largely, and
he admired her. There was something to this woman, let the world think
what it might. It was a shame that her life was passed under such a
troubled star. Still a great world was calling him. The sound of its
voice was in his ears. It had on occasion shown him its bared teeth.
Did he really dare to hesitate?
The last hour came, when having made excuses to this and that
neighbor, when having spread the information that they were going
abroad, when Lester had engaged rooms at the Auditorium, and the mass
of furniture which could not be used had gone to storage, that it was
necessary to say farewell to this Hyde Park domicile. Jennie had
visited Sandwood in company with Lester several times. He had
carefully examined the character of the place. He was satisfied that
it was nice but lonely. Spring was at hand, the flowers would be
something. She was going to keep a gardener and man of all work. Vesta
would be with her.
"Very well," he said, "only I want you to be comfortable."
In the mean time Lester had been arranging his personal affairs. He
had notified Messrs. Knight, Keatley & O'Brien through his own
attorney, Mr. Watson, that he would expect them to deliver his share
of his father's securities on a given date. He had made up his mind
that as long as he was compelled by circumstances to do this thing he
would do a number of other things equally ruthless. He would probably
marry Mrs. Gerald. He would sit as a director in the United Carriage
Company--with his share of the stock it would be impossible to
keep him out. If he had Mrs. Gerald's money he would become a
controlling factor in the United Traction of Cincinnati, in which his
brother was heavily interested, and in the Western Steel Works, of
which his brother was now the leading adviser. What a different figure
he would be now from that which he had been during the past few
years!
Jennie was depressed to the point of despair. She was tremendously
lonely. This home had meant so much to her. When she first came here
and neighbors had begun to drop in she had imagined herself on the
threshold of a great career, that some day, possibly, Lester would
marry her. Now, blow after blow had been delivered, and the home and
dream were a ruin. Gerhardt was gone. Jeannette, Harry Ward, and Mrs.
Frissell had been discharged, the furniture for a good part was in
storage, and for her, practically, Lester was no more. She realized
clearly that he would not come back. If he could do this thing now,
even considerately, he could do much more when he was free and away
later. Immersed in his great affairs, he would forget, of course. And
why not? She did not fit in. Had not everything--everything
illustrated that to her? Love was not enough in this world--that
was so plain. One needed education, wealth, training, the ability to
fight and scheme, She did not want to do that. She could not.
The day came when the house was finally closed and the old life was
at an end. Lester traveled with Jennie to Sandwood. He spent some
little while in the house trying to get her used to the idea of
change--it was not so bad. He intimated that he would come again
soon, but he went away, and all his words were as nothing against the
fact of the actual and spiritual separation. When Jennie saw him going
down the brick walk that afternoon, his solid, conservative figure
clad in a new tweed suit, his overcoat on his arm, self-reliance and
prosperity written all over him, she thought that she would die. She
had kissed Lester good-by and had wished him joy, prosperity, peace;
then she made an excuse to go to her bedroom. Vesta came after a time,
to seek her, but now her eyes were quite dry; everything had subsided
to a dull ache. The new life was actually begun for her--a life
without Lester, without Gerhardt, without any one save Vesta.
"What curious things have happened to me!" she thought, as she went
into the kitchen, for she had determined to do at least some of her
own work. She needed the distraction. She did not want to think. If it
were not for Vesta she would have sought some regular outside
employment. Anything to keep from brooding, for in that direction lay
madness.
CHAPTER LV
The social and business worlds of Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland,
and other cities saw, during the year or two which followed the
breaking of his relationship with Jennie, a curious rejuvenation in
the social and business spirit of Lester Kane. He had become rather
distant and indifferent to certain personages and affairs while he was
living with her, but now he suddenly appeared again, armed with
authority from a number of sources, looking into this and that matter
with the air of one who has the privilege of power, and showing
himself to be quite a personage from the point of view of finance and
commerce. He was older of course. It must be admitted that he was in
some respects a mentally altered Lester. Up to the time he had met
Jennie he was full of the assurance of the man who has never known
defeat. To have been reared in luxury as he had been, to have seen
only the pleasant side of society, which is so persistent and so
deluding where money is concerned, to have been in the run of big
affairs not because one has created them, but because one is a part of
them and because they are one's birthright, like the air one breathes,
could not help but create one of those illusions of solidarity which
is apt to befog the clearest brain. It is so hard for us to know what
we have not seen. It is so difficult for us to feel what we have not
experienced. Like this world of ours, which seems so solid and
persistent solely because we have no knowledge of the power which
creates it, Lester's world seemed solid and persistent and real enough
to him. It was only when the storms set in and the winds of adversity
blew and he found himself facing the armed forces of convention that
he realized he might be mistaken as to the value of his personality,
that his private desires and opinions were as nothing in the face of a
public conviction; that he was wrong. The race spirit, or social
avatar, the "Zeitgeist" as the Germans term it, manifested itself as
something having a system in charge, and the organization of society
began to show itself to him as something based on possibly a
spiritual, or, at least, superhuman counterpart. He could not fly in
the face of it. He could not deliberately ignore its mandates. The
people of his time believed that some particular form of social
arrangement was necessary, and unless he complied with that he could,
as he saw, readily become a social outcast. His own father and mother
had turned on him--his brother and sisters, society, his friends.
Dear heaven, what a to-do this action of his had created! Why, even
the fates seemed adverse. His real estate venture was one of the most
fortuitously unlucky things he had ever heard of. Why? Were the gods
battling on the side of a to him unimportant social arrangement?
Apparently. Anyhow, he had been compelled to quit, and here he was,
vigorous, determined, somewhat battered by the experience, but still
forceful and worth while.
And it was a part of the penalty that he had become measurably
soured by what had occurred. He was feeling that he had been compelled
to do the first ugly, brutal thing of his life. Jennie deserved better
of him. It was a shame to forsake her after all the devotion she had
manifested. Truly she had played a finer part than he. Worst of all,
his deed could not be excused on the grounds of necessity. He could
have lived on ten thousand a year; he could have done without the
million and more which was now his. He could have done without the
society, the pleasures of which had always been a lure. He could have,
but he had not, and he had complicated it all with the thought of
another woman.
Was she as good as Jennie? That was a question which always rose
before him. Was she as kindly? Wasn't she deliberately scheming under
his very eyes to win him away from the woman who was as good as his
wife? Was that admirable? Was it the thing a truly big woman would do?
Was she good enough for him after all? Ought he to marry her? Ought he
to marry any one seeing that he really owed a spiritual if not a legal
allegiance to Jennie? Was it worth while for any woman to marry him?
These things turned in his brain. They haunted him. He could not shut
out the fact that he was doing a cruel and unlovely thing.
Material error in the first place was now being complicated with
spiritual error. He was attempting to right the first by committing
the second. Could it be done to his own satisfaction? Would it
pay mentally and spiritually? Would it bring him peace of mind? He was
thinking, thinking, all the while he was readjusting his life to the
old (or perhaps better yet, new) conditions, and he was not feeling
any happier. As a matter of fact he was feeling worse--grim,
revengeful. If he married Letty he thought at times it would be to use
her fortune as a club to knock other enemies over the head, and he
hated to think he was marrying her for that. He took up his abode at
the Auditorium, visited Cincinnati in a distant and aggressive spirit,
sat in council with the board of directors, wishing that he was more
at peace with himself, more interested in life. But he did not change
his policy in regard to Jennie.
Of course Mrs. Gerald had been vitally interested in Lester's
rehabilitation. She waited tactfully some little time before sending
him any word; finally she ventured to write to him at the Hyde Park
address (as if she did not know where he was), asking, "Where are
you?" By this time Lester had become slightly accustomed to the change
in his life. He was saying to himself that he needed sympathetic
companionship, the companionship of a woman, of course. Social
invitations had begun to come to him now that he was alone and that
his financial connections were so obviously restored. He had made his
appearance, accompanied only by a Japanese valet, at several country
houses, the best sign that he was once more a single man. No reference
was made by any one to the past.
On receiving Mrs. Gerald's note he decided that he ought to go and
see her. He had treated her rather shabbily. For months preceding his
separation from Jennie he had not gone near her. Even now he waited
until time brought a 'phoned invitation to dinner. This he
accepted.
Mrs. Gerald was at her best as a hostess at her perfectly appointed
dinner-table. Alboni, the pianist, was there on this occasion,
together with Adam Rascavage, the sculptor, a visiting scientist from
England, Sir Nelson Keyes, and, curiously enough, Mr. and Mrs. Berry
Dodge, whom Lester had not met socially in several years. Mrs. Gerald
and Lester exchanged the joyful greetings of those who understand each
other thoroughly and are happy in each other's company. "Aren't you
ashamed of yourself, sir," she said to him when he made his
appearance, "to treat me so indifferently? You are going to be
punished for this."
"What's the damage?" he smiled. "I've been extremely rushed. I
suppose something like ninety stripes will serve me about right."
"Ninety stripes, indeed!" she retorted. "You're letting yourself
off easy. What is it they do to evil-doers in Siam?"
"Boil them in oil, I suppose."
"Well, anyhow, that's more like. I'm thinking of something
terrible."
"Be sure and tell me when you decide," he laughed, and passed on to
be presented to distinguished strangers by Mrs. De Lincum who aided
Mrs. Gerald in receiving.
The talk was stimulating. Lester was always at his ease
intellectually, and this mental atmosphere revived him. Presently he
turned to greet Berry Dodge, who was standing at his elbow.
Dodge was all cordiality. "Where are you now?" he asked. "We
haven't seen you in--oh, when? Mrs. Dodge is waiting to have a
word with you." Lester noticed the change in Dodge's attitude.
"Some time, that's sure," he replied easily. "I'm living at the
Auditorium."
"I was asking after you the other day. You know Jackson Du Bois? Of
course you do. We were thinking of running up into Canada for some
hunting. Why don't you join us?"
"I can't," replied Lester. "Too many things on hand just now.
Later, surely."
Dodge was anxious to continue. He had seen Lester's election as a
director of the C. H. & D. Obviously he was coming back into the
world. But dinner was announced and Lester sat at Mrs. Gerald's right
hand.
"Aren't you coming to pay me a dinner call some afternoon after
this?" asked Mrs. Gerald confidentially when the conversation was
brisk at the other end of the table.
"I am, indeed," he replied, "and shortly. Seriously, I've been
wanting to look you up. You understand though how things are now?"
"I do. I've heard a great deal. That's why I want you to come. We
need to talk together."
Ten days later he did call. He felt as if he must talk with her; he
was feeling bored and lonely; his long home life with Jennie had made
hotel life objectionable. He felt as though he must find a
sympathetic, intelligent ear, and where better than here? Letty was
all ears for his troubles. She would have pillowed his solid head upon
her breast in a moment if that had been possible.
"Well," he said, when the usual fencing preliminaries were over,
"what will you have me say in explanation?"
"Have you burned your bridges behind you?" she asked.
"I'm not so sure," he replied gravely. "And I can't say that I'm
feeling any too joyous about the matter as a whole."
"I thought as much," she replied. "I knew how it would be with you.
I can see you wading through this mentally, Lester. I have been
watching you, every step of the way, wishing you peace of mind. These
things are always so difficult, but don't you know I am still sure
it's for the best. It never was right the other way. It never could
be. You couldn't afford to sink back into a mere shell-fish life. You
are not organized temperamentally for that any more than I am. You may
regret what you are doing now, but you would have regretted the other
thing quite as much and more. You couldn't work your life out that
way--now, could you?"
"I don't know about that, Letty. Really, I don't. I've wanted to
come and see you for a long time, but I didn't think that I ought to.
The fight was outside--you know what I mean."
"Yes, indeed, I do," she said soothingly.
"It's still inside. I haven't gotten over it. I don't know whether
this financial business binds me sufficiently or not. I'll be frank
and tell you that I can't say I love her entirely; but I'm sorry, and
that's something."
"She's comfortably provided for, of course," she commented rather
than inquired.
"Everything she wants. Jennie is of a peculiar disposition. She
doesn't want much. She's retiring by nature and doesn't care for show.
I've taken a cottage for her at Sandwood, a little place north of here
on the lake; and there's plenty of money in trust, but, of course, she
knows she can live anywhere she pleases."
"I understand exactly how she feels, Lester. I know how you feel.
She is going to suffer very keenly for a while--we all do when we
have to give up the thing we love. But we can get over it, and we do.
At least, we can live. She will. It will go hard at first, but after a
while she will see how it is, and she won't feel any the worse toward
you."
"Jennie will never reproach me, I know that," he replied. "I'm the
one who will do the reproaching. I'll be abusing myself for some time.
The trouble is with my particular turn of mind. I can't tell, for the
life of me, how much of this disturbing feeling of mine is
habit--the condition that I'm accustomed to--and how much is
sympathy. I sometimes think I'm the the most pointless individual in
the world. I think too much."
"Poor Lester!" she said tenderly. "Well, I understand for one.
You're lonely living where you are, aren't you?"
"I am that," he replied.
"Why not come and spend a few days down at West Baden? I'm going
there."
"When?" he inquired.
"Next Tuesday."
"Let me see," he replied. "I'm not sure that I can." He consulted
his notebook. "I could come Thursday, for a few days."
"Why not do that? You need company. We can walk and talk things out
down there. Will you?"
"Yes, I will," he replied.
She came toward him, trailing a lavender lounging robe. "You're
such a solemn philosopher, sir," she observed comfortably, "working
through all the ramifications of things. Why do you? You were always
like that."
"I can't help it," he replied. "It's my nature to think."
"Well, one thing I know--" and she tweaked his ear gently.
"You're not going to make another mistake through sympathy if I can
help it," she said daringly. "You're going to stay disentangled long
enough to give yourself a chance to think out what you want to do. You
must. And I wish for one thing you'd take over the management of my
affairs. You could advise me so much better than my lawyer."
He arose and walked to the window, turning to look back at her
solemnly. "I know what you want," he said doggedly.
"And why shouldn't I?" she demanded, again approaching him. She
looked at him pleadingly, defiantly. "Yes, why shouldn't I?"
"You don't know what you're doing," he grumbled; but he kept on
looking at her; she stood there, attractive as a woman of her age
could be, wise, considerate, full of friendship and affection.
"Letty," he said. "You ought not to want to marry me. I'm not worth
it. Really I'm not. I'm too cynical. Too indifferent. It won't be
worth anything in the long run."
"It will be worth something to me," she insisted. "I know what you
are. Anyhow, I don't care. I want you!"
He took her hands, then her arms. Finally he drew her to him, and
put his arms about her waist. "Poor Letty!" he said; "I'm not worth
it. You'll be sorry."
"No, I'll not," she replied. "I know what I'm doing. I don't care
what you think you are worth." She laid her cheek on his shoulder. "I
want you."
"If you keep on I venture to say you'll have me," he returned. He
bent and kissed her.
"Oh," she exclaimed, and hid her hot face against his breast.
"This is bad business," he thought, even as he held her within the
circle of his arms. "It isn't what I ought to be doing."
Still he held her, and now when she offered her lips coaxingly he
kissed her again and again.
CHAPTER LVI
It is difficult to say whether Lester might not have returned to
Jennie after all but for certain influential factors. After a time,
with his control of his portion of the estate firmly settled in his
hands and the storm of original feeling forgotten, he was well aware
that diplomacy--if he ignored his natural tendency to fulfil even
implied obligations--could readily bring about an arrangement
whereby he and Jennie could be together. But he was haunted by the
sense of what might be called an important social opportunity in the
form of Mrs. Gerald. He was compelled to set over against his natural
tendency toward Jennie a consciousness of what he was ignoring in the
personality and fortunes of her rival, who was one of the most
significant and interesting figures on the social horizon. For think
as he would, these two women were now persistently opposed in his
consciousness. The one polished, sympathetic,
philosophic--schooled in all the niceties of polite society, and
with the means to gratify her every wish; the other natural,
sympathetic, emotional, with no schooling in the ways of polite
society, but with a feeling for the beauty of life and the lovely
things in human relationship which made her beyond any question an
exceptional woman. Mrs. Gerald saw it and admitted it. Her criticism
of Lester's relationship with Jennie was not that she was not worth
while, but that conditions made it impolitic. On the other hand, union
with her was an ideal climax for his social aspirations. This would
bring everything out right. He would be as happy with her as he would
be with Jennie--almost--and he would have the satisfaction
of knowing that this Western social and financial world held no more
significant figure than himself. It was not wise to delay either this
latter excellent solution of his material problems, and after thinking
it over long and seriously he finally concluded that he would not. He
had already done Jennie the irreparable wrong of leaving her. What
difference did it make if he did this also? She was possessed of
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