He comes only minutes later, moaning softly and whispering Frank's name, imagining he could feel Frank's soft hair against his skin and Frank's hot body against his own. He imagines goosebumps spreading all over it as they cool down. Then looking into Frank's dark eyes and falling asleep, and he's gone.
***
The next day he doesn't have class, but as Frank has a big test the next day he has agreed to not work on the painting that day, and Gerard is much relieved when he wakes up in the morning. Not that he doesn't want to hang out with Frank, but he's not sure he can look him in the eye after giving in to... whatever it is that he's feeling for the boy the previous night.
It would be weird, and awkward beyond his imagination, and what if Frank would notice that something was different? That's not very likely, because if Frank hasn't noticed it before, he's not really going to notice that Gerard wants to fuck him just because he jerked off while thinking about him. It's probably more about Frank being smooth and not saying anything than him not noticing, though, Gerard thinks.
But, even if Frank isn't there in the apartment, with or without clothes, Gerard is constantly drawn to the painting still sitting in the middle of his lounge, and he finds himself standing in front of it for several minutes, tracing the edges of Frank on the painting. There's still so much left to do, like the tattoos that Gerard is actually getting nervous of doing. What if he fails? This had seemed like such a good idea when he first came up with it, and when he told Frank about it, but what if he really can't get the tattoos to look like they're supposed to?
He lets out a mix between a sigh and a groan as he falls back onto his couch, staring at the ceiling and occasionally looking back to the half finished painting. Then his gaze wanders to his camera, which is lying on the coffee table, just within his reach. He can't help but turn it on just to look at Frank some more, to see how the soft sunlight falls in through the window and lands on his skin, reflected in the mirror. It makes his skin look even softer, and his brown hair looks golden and...
He puts the camera back down, knowing that if he doesn't stop thinking about Frank right now, he's going to end up with his hand stuck down his pants again. Thankfully, the phone rings just a minute later, providing him with a distraction and a reason to get out of his apartment.
"Hey, Mikey," he says into the receiver, once again staring at the ceiling.
"Hey, do you want to come over? Mom wants me to go to the grocery store and there's no way I'm doing it alone," Mikey says, and Gerard laughs.
"You afraid you're gonna get lost on your way from the milk to the ketchup again?"
"I was four! And you're the one who let go of my hand and ran off to look at toys, or whatever. It was totally your fault," Mikey defends himself while trying not to laugh, too.
"I know, I got the blame," Gerard says, and as the laughter dies down his eyes sink back down to the painting again. "Anyway, why don't you get Bob to go with you? I mean, he could even help you carry the bags inside. You know I can't promise to do that. Not successfully, at least."
"He's working. And you know, mom actually gave me the afternoon off so that I could go to the store. It's like she only hired me so that I could be her slave." Mikey actually sounds insulted so Gerard can't help but laugh.
"Mikey, you sweep the floor in a hair salon. You are a slave."
"Fuck you, Mr. High-and-Mighty College Student. Are you coming over or not?" The younger brother groans impatiently.
"I'll pick you up in ten minutes, okay?"
Gerard is still laughing when he hangs up and leaves the lounge, but stops as he throws one last glance towards the painting. He really needs to get out of that place, away from the painting and to some place where he doesn't have to think about Frank at least once every minute.
Mikey's sitting on the front steps, looking exceptionally bored, when Gerard gets there, but is quick to hop up and get in the car. "Do you have any smokes?" is the first thing to come out of his mouth, and Gerard understands the bored expression.
"Nope, I'm out, for now. I'm gonna buy some more later."
Mikey lets out a disappointed groan, and starts fiddling with the almost dead radio to have something to do. There's just static for a while, but then he manages to tune in an actual channel with pretty clear sound and music playing. Unfortunately, it turns out to be an all-Spanish channel and, since neither of them speaks Spanish, it's completely useless.
They hold up until they get to the grocery store, though, where they go straight in to buy a pack of smokes each and then straight out again to smoke some. It's pretty stupid, and they get a lot of weird looks from old ladies that probably know their grandma, but it's completely worth it.
It's ten minutes later, when they're inside and Gerard is pushing a stupid shopping cart in front of himself, that Mikey brings back the annoying thoughts of Frank by asking how they're doing with the grand project. "I mean, you've been pretty excited about it for quite some time now, but you haven't told me anything about the actual work."
Gerard shrugs, not wanting to talk about it at all. "It's going okay, I guess."
"Okay?" Mikey echoes skeptically. "You spent over two weeks, that I know of, worrying about how to ask Frank to model for you, and now it's only going okay?" Gerard shrugs again, turning his back to Mikey as he reaches for a can of asparagus on the top shelf. "What is it that you're not telling me?"
"Nothing," Gerard says too quickly and shrugs his shoulders a little too innocently. Mikey gives him a sharp look, and he sighs. "Look, I don't want to talk about it here. I'll tell you later," he says in his most sincere voice, but hopes to himself that Mikey will forget about it. Mikey doesn't let him off the hook that easily, though, but keeps looking at him expectantly. "It's... It's just not as easy to paint Frank as I thought it would be, okay?"
"What do you mean, not as easy as you thought?" Mikey questions, but it's Gerard's turn to glare at him.
"Later, I promise."
"Fine," Mikey agrees, rolling his eyes before wandering off to find baking paper, leaving Gerard to get flour, sugar and baking powder. They meet up again at the check-out, Gerard with the shopping cart filled up with whatever weird stuff their mother thinks she might need, and Mikey with his arms full of baking supplies, but also a bag of chips and a comic book. Payment, he calls it, for going to get her groceries when it's not a part of his job.
They've hardly even paid, packed and gotten the bags out to the car before Mikey asks Gerard about the painting again, though, and the older brother can't help but wonder why Mikey had to be born without the ability to understand subtle hints like the 'I don't want to talk about it' ones he's sending him.
"So what's wrong? Are you fighting? You're my best friends in the whole world. I need to know if you're fighting," Mikey says, really quickly, the moment he sits down and closes the door, looking at Gerard.
"We're not fighting," Gerard sighs. "I just," he starts, but stops as he really have no idea what to say. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Gerard, you're going to tell me right now, whether you like it or not!" Mikey says, raising his voice and slamming his hand, carefully but still hard, against the dashboard.
"I..." the older brother says, shaking his head as if that's going to make the words come out on their own, without him having to say them. "I... I want to fuck him." He doesn't look at Mikey as he says it, but starts up the car, just to have something to focus on.
"You what?" comes the shocked, to say the least, reply from his side.
"I want to have sex with him, I can't stop thinking about him, and when he's there it's a fucking miracle I can even hold the paintbrush straight." Mikey keeps giving him weird looks that Gerard only sees out of the corner of his eye. "I just, I never expected." He stops again, feeling confused by the millions of thoughts buzzing around in his head. "I never thought he was so... good looking. So attractive and hot. I mean, I guess I've always seen him as a small fourteen year old kid. Not all grown up."
They're both silent for a minute that feels like forever to Gerard, then Mikey says, "Are you saying you've never seen him naked before?"
Gerard groans, wondering why suddenly everybody thought that best friends should be checking each other out and know what they looked like naked. They obviously have a point, though, he thinks, as if he had known that Frank looked pretty much divine, he would have been prepared. Or he wouldn't have asked him at all.
"No, I haven't seen him naked. I've always thought it's weird and perverted to look at him like that since he's so much younger than me," Gerard explains as he stops at a red light.
"It's four years," Mikey states and Gerard feels like smacking him over the head.
"I know how many years it is. The problem is that he was fourteen when we met and I've always looked at him like that kid."
"But he's not," Mikey states the obvious again, making Gerard feel even more stupid and whiny. It's not like he doesn't know that Frank has grown up. He's seen it himself, looked at the evidence, and it freaks him out. He wonders if this is how parents feel when they watch their kids grow up and into adults, without the mad sexual attraction, of course.
"Have you told him?" Mikey asks, but the look on his face tells Gerard that he's already pretty sure what the answer is going to be.
"No, I can't." Gerard sighs. "If I tell him he'll freak out and stop modeling for me." Mikey rolls his eyes. "Or he'll just laugh straight at me," Gerard says sadly, trying to ignore Mikey's snort.
"Or, he'll act just like himself and blow you, which would make both of you happy." Gerard glances towards Mikey to see his 'You know I'm right, so just do it' expression, and shrugs.
Gerard doesn't reply, though, still feeling confused and now even more stupid because of Mikey's lack of the kind of support Gerard wants. Not even Gerard is sure what kind of support he does want, though, so it's not that easy. Does he want Mikey to tell him to just forget the whole thing, to finish the paintings and never look at Frank's dick again, or does he want to hear that he might have a chance with Frank, if he just tells him?
He really can't tell, because as much as he'd like to go out with Frank, it's so much easier as well as pain and humiliation free to suck it up and ignore the feelings. Telling Frank how he feels would be much too unpredictable, considering he, hopefully, has no clue Gerard feels this way.
There's still Saturday, though, Gerard thinks with an unnerving feeling settling in his gut.
"Hey, are you doing anything this Saturday? Me and Frank are going out, and I was hoping maybe you and Bob could come too," he asks as they reach yet another red light, seizing the opportunity to turn to Mikey and flash him his best, most pathetic looking sad puppy dog impression.
"Sorry, Gee, but no. There's a Star Wars marathon at the movie theater and Bob and I are going," Mikey says, not sounding very sad, but grinning widely.
"Bob likes Star Wars?" the older boy snorts, despite doing his best not to laugh at what he thinks has to be the best joke he's heard in years.
"He's never seen the movies, and that's why we're going." Mikey beams, most definitely going to help his boyfriend find his inner geek. There's no better person to help him find it than Mikey, Gerard thinks. Biggest geek he's ever met, and a really big Star Wars fan.
"So you wouldn't rather go out and get pissed with me and Frank, and at the same time save me from having to be alone to watch him get it on with pretty much every guy in the club?" The puppy dog expression from before is now gone, replaced with a look of regret and reluctance.
"I don't think so, Gee," Mikey replies, just as Gerard pulls up in front of their parent's house and parks in the driveway. Gerard helps him unload the car in silence, feeling both angry with himself and annoyed and disappointed. Why did he have to go and decide to go out with Frank without asking Mikey and Bob to come too? Why did Mikey and Bob have to have plans this Saturday?
"You know, Gee," Mikey says when they've hauled all the bags of baking supplies inside, "if you get drunk enough, I doubt you'll have brains enough to mind watching Frank getting it on. Who knows, you might even find a guy of your own." Gerard just snorts in reply.
"If I get drunk, it will be Frank I go after. And when I've made a total fool out of myself, he'll never want to talk to me again."
"Don't be stupid, "Mikey counters. "Would it really be that awful to have Frank knowing that you wanna do him? He's a cool guy, he'll understand and not give you shit about it." Mikey reasons a little too well, Gerard thinks as the younger brother continues, "And, if you were drunk, he'd probably not take you seriously anyway."
"But he might," Gerard insists despondently.
"And he might not. And you might not even do anything, so why worry? If anything happens, we'll talk about it then," Mikey says.
"Can I yell at you if something does happen?" Gerard asks hopefully.
"Yes," Mikey sighs, rolling his eyes.
*
Gerard hangs out with his brother for a few more hours, then goes home and orders pizza and watches some old movies that he never gets bored of. He tries not to think about Frank, but whenever his gaze flicks over something that reminds him of the younger boy, he can't really help it.
Frank calls him, too, wondering when Gerard wants him to come over the next day and suggesting that they could do something else too, for a change. "Unless you're so much of a professional that we can't be friends anymore," he adds, jokingly, and Gerard laughs.
"You bring the movies, I'll make popcorn," he replies, feeling as if everything is normal between him and Frank for the first time in almost a week. He doesn't even worry about them going out until the next morning, after he's had a very vivid dream of Gerard fucking Frank who, in the dream, was covered in paint.
Groaning in annoyance, he gets up and stalks to the bathroom to have a shower and deal with what's left of his dream. He does, however, do his best not to think about Frank as he does, but forces images of his old boyfriends into his head.
He skips breakfast, but stops at Starbucks on his way to school to at least get some coffee. Then he sits through two hours of a very boring lecture on the importance on the order of which you apply certain colors. As if he doesn't already know those things after having been in Art School for four years and having painted all of his life.
He doesn't have any more classes or lectures that day, though, as most teachers are giving the students extra time to work on their final projects, for which Gerard is very grateful. He doesn't have that much to do until Frank gets there, though, so after a light lunch he ends up half-asleep on the couch, flicking through channels and wondering why there are always five years old soccer games on the sports channels.
When Frank shows up, he's just about as exhausted as Gerard is, having done a three hour long maths exam which he thinks he has either done almost brilliantly or failed completely. They do get started eventually, though, and Gerard is glad that he's still got the lecture in his head so that he's got something to focus on besides Frank's naked body.
The professor was no miracle worker, though, and after half an hour Gerard's eyes are lingering too long at certain places, admiring Frank's toned torso just a little too much. Fortunately, he's got the excuse of actually painting Frank's torso just then, and his stomach where the two black birds stood out. He wasn't painting them just yet, though, because black always comes last.
The only tattoo he has painted so far is the Halloween pumpkin on Frank's back as it's reflected in the mirror, and Gerard is rather pleased with it. He knows he should have waited with that one too, but he was too excited to let it wait like all the others. It's not a perfect angle, which made it more difficult, but he managed not to make it look three dimensional and as if it's standing out from Frank's skin. It looks kind of perfect, actually. As good as it could get, as he had to cut down on the details to make it the right size.
"Gee, do we have to do this for much longer now?" Frank asks after an hour or so, and Gerard looks up at his face for the first time since he started working. He had seen before that Frank looked tired, but now it's as if he's going to fall asleep on the spot. He doesn't really want to stop, though, seeing as they only just started and he's got more to do.
"I'd really like to finish some of these things today, but I guess we could take a break," he says, taking in Frank's posture that's slouching more and more with every passing second.
"Thank you," the teenager sighs happily, immediately sinking down on to the chair and laying his arms on the back of it and then his head on top of them. Gerard smiles fondly and approaches him to run his hand through Frank's already ruffled hair.
"If you want to nap, you can have the couch for half an hour," Gerard says and Frank looks up gratefully. "Just put some clothes on."
"Thank you," the younger boy grins and stands up to give Gerard a naked, very awkward hug before pulling away to put on his boxer briefs and a t-shirt. He doesn't lie down yet, though, but looks at Gerard. "Wanna be my pillow? I've found that laps don't hurt my neck nearly as much as armrests do." He grins stupidly at Gerard who rolls his eyes.
"Fine." He sits down as far to the right he can, giving Frank more room to lie down in, and to his own surprise he's not feeling too uncomfortable when Frank puts his head on his lap. After a minute he even starts running his fingers through Frank's abnormally soft hair that always feels freshly cut even if Frank straightens it and uses lots of products regularly.
The younger boy sighs sweetly and relaxes further into his slumber, so Gerard keeps stroking his hair, brushing it out of his face and letting his fingers occasionally caress his cheeks and forehead too. He sits like that for several minutes, seemingly mesmerized by the adorable expression on Frank's face as he sleeps, and the feeling of Frank's hair and skin, but as his gaze travels, his mind does as well.
Gerard had noticed before that Frank's legs must be shaved or waxed, but now he was closer and he could almost reach out to touch the smooth skin. He touches Frank's face instead, but the sudden reminder of how close to his crotch the boy's face is makes him go hard and a flush of panic appears on his cheeks. What makes it all worse is that as his eyes flicker around the room to somehow get an idea of how to get out of the situation, he sees all of his paints and the dream from this morning returns, paint-covered and naked Frank and all.
This is a little too much for Gerard and, not even caring about the prospect of Frank waking up right now to see Gerard's boner, he lifts Frank up and gets out from underneath him. He goes straight for the bathroom, just to hide out until it's gone down again. The funny thing is that the erection isn't even what bothers him most. The stupid images and the whole dream is. He can't ever imagine actually doing something like that, because, not only would it be too kinky, it would be too expensive to spoil paints like that.
Thinking of expensive paints makes his erection go down pretty quickly, but he still stays locked in the bathroom until he hears Frank walking around, calling his name. He knows that Frank can't have any idea of what happened, but he stills feel a little ashamed, and the feeling stays with him for the rest of the afternoon and evening as him and Frank leave the painting and go on to watch the movies Frank brought.
Frank falls asleep again, though, curled up against Gerard with the older boy's arm wrapped around him. His breathing is light, his mouth hanging open and a dribble of saliva is just about to fall onto Gerard's shirt when he awakes with a start.
"Hey, sleepy-head," Gerard says, grinning and feeling completely normal. There are no weird fantasies occupying his head. "You pulled an all-nighter last night, didn't you?" He lifts one of his hands to brush some hair out of Frank's face, and the boy hums in reply. Then he does something that catches Gerard completely off guard and the older boy's face burns red.
He kisses his cheek.
In all honesty it's just really sweet, and Gerard knows that, but he freezes up and doesn't really know what to do. It's the kind of thing Frank occasionally does, and Gerard doesn't usually mind, but now he's not sure. It's a little more than a hug. A little more more-than-friendly than a hug, and for the first time he's not sure how to interpret it.
It's Frank, though, so he decides to act as normal as he can. "I'll drive you home," he says, rubbing up and down Frank's arm before withdrawing his arm and standing up.
Frank just groans softly, not even trying to stand up. "Can't I just stay here? It's less trouble." Gerard won't have that, though, and pulls Frank onto his feet.
"You'll sleep better at home, in your own bed, and surely you want to be well rested for tomorrow night," the older boy says, and a light goes off in Frank's eyes as he looks at Gerard.
"Yeah, I want that," he whispers. "I can't wait."
"Neither can I," says Gerard, pulling Frank out to the hallway and, eventually, out to the car to drive him home.
***
The next day they don't work that much on the painting, but Gerard does finish everything that won't be black, whether it is the tattoos or any contours that may be needed. Since Frank doesn't come over very early, and is in a rush to go back home and get ready, Gerard figures he might as well just leave the painting to dry overnight so that he can continue immediately next time.
He, too, takes his time getting ready for the night, thinking that he might as well do that as he's got two hours until he's meeting Frank at the club. He figures that having something to occupy his mind will stop him from thinking about Frank, but he ends up feeling more nervous and sweating uncomfortably. He leaves after another shower of cologne and hopes that Frank won't say anything. Or think anything, for that matter.
He takes the bus there, not wanting to have to leave his car behind because he'll be too drunk to drive, and when he gets off the bus outside the club he immediately has Frank's arms wrapped around his neck.
"Finally, I was starting to think you weren't coming," Frank says in Gerard's ear, easing his grip a little. "Ryan's here, and I sort of told him I was meeting someone, just to keep him away, so now I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend."
Gerard spends the next 15 seconds staring at Frank as if he's speaking a different language, like, Portuguese. "You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?" he asks, putting a lot of emphasis on 'me'. Frank nods, still standing very close with his hands on Gerard's chest, as if to keep up appearances. "Why don't you just go and make out with him for five minutes like you did last week?"
"Because making out with him is what got me into this situation," Frank whines, giving Gerard a pleading look. "If I as much as kiss him again he's not gonna stop until we've had sex and stuff, and I don't want that. You know that." Frank looks down sadly, and Gerard feels a surge of guilt in his chest.
"What do I have to do?" he asks softly, raising a hand to lift Frank's chin up and brush his hair out of his eyes, secretly feeling rather excited about the prospect of pretending to be Frank's boyfriend.
"Just stay close at all times and dance with me." Frank grins, wrapping his arms around Gerard's waist and standing up on his tiptoes to kiss the older boy's cheek again.
He blushes, but actually likes the tingling feeling, and puts an arm around the boy's shoulder, pulling him really close as they queue to get inside.
Frank stays curled up under Gerard's arm as they get inside, too, only moving away briefly when bringing their drinks to their usual table and squeezing in behind it. Then he's back with his head against Gerard's upper chest, the older boy's fingers switching between stroking Frank's shoulder and his hair.
He knows it shouldn't really feel any different than when they're doing this at home by themselves, just watching a movie and falling asleep on top of each other, but to Gerard this does. It feels real, like Frank's having the same feelings he does, but he reminds himself every third minute that they're just pretending.
He wishes Frank wasn't so good at it, though.
But as Frank holds his hand, softly, in his slightly sweaty palm, occasionally looking up with his large, dark eyes, Gerard lets himself forget, little by little, that they're pretending. They've had quite a few drinks each by now, so they're relaxed and comfortable, but when Frank catches Ryan staring skeptically at them from across the room, he looks at Gerard with a sly grin.
"You wanna dance now?"
Gerard doesn't even think to object like he would have if he had been sober. He simply grins back at Frank and slides out from the booth, empties what's left in his glass and holds Frank's hand tightly as they step out on the floor. Hot, sweaty bodies surround them and they almost feel the condensation on their skin as they stop, turning toward each other and moving even closer.
Frank's hands lock behind Gerard's neck, his eyes facing upwards and Gerard's heavy breath hitting his forehead. There's a heavy beat in the music, but it's not too fast,and so it causes this natural sway of their hips. Gerard's hands are moving on their own accord, downwards, and, when they reach their destination, Frank lets out a soft moan that only Gerard can hear.
He can taste the coke and vodka in Frank's breath as it hits his face in steady intervals, and he responds by slipping his hands into Frank's very tight back pockets, giving his ass a little squeeze as he does so. Frank's lips part a little more, and his eyes, so dark it seems like there's only the black pupil left, widen just enough for Gerard to notice it.
"You having fun?" he leans close to Frank's ear, letting his lips brush the shell of it. He feels the boy squirm a little against his body, but pressing closer.
"Yeah," he whispers back, so softly Gerard can barely hear it over the music. "But it's gonna get better soon." He pulls away and looks at Gerard, who's looking at him expectantly as though he's reading the younger boy's mind.
Frank doesn't waste any time before leaning up and covering Gerard's open, waiting mouth with his own. Gerard's eyes are closed before they've even made contact, and he's kissing back before his heart has even had time to skip a beat. His brain doesn't register it either, he just does it, and the sensational feeling of Frank's tongue in his mouth is probably enough to knock out all the nerve-cells in his brain.
The younger boy moans softly as Gerard tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth, and his hands twist in and tug on Gerard's straightened and hair-sprayed hair. Gerard just kisses him, a little too eagerly for it to be graceful and nice, but he figures it doesn't matter since they're both kind of drunk, and getting drunker later.
"Wanna go grab a smoke?" Gerard mutters against Frank's lips when they, after several minutes of fierce kissing, break their intense lip lock. He's panting hard, straight into Frank's mouth as the younger boy breathes back just as heavily, and their lips move together into a kiss in between inhales and exhales.
"Uh-huh," mutters Frank, following closely behind Gerard as they exit the club.
Smoking isn't really what's on Gerard's mind when they get outside, though, as Frank's hands have slipped into the back pockets of his tight jeans. He means to say that his cigarettes are in the front pocket, but when he turns his head back, Frank immediately captures his lips in an open-mouthed kiss. So he turns around completely and backs Frank up against a wall and kisses him until the younger boy is out of air and, gasping, pulls away.
Дата добавления: 2015-11-04; просмотров: 27 | Нарушение авторских прав
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