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Last summer I decided to find a partner for my business – a man with a talent for crime but not yet spoiled by success. After a long search I found such a fellow in a faraway village in the West. He



Ethics of a Pig

O. Henry (1862 - 1910)

Last summer I decided to find a partner for my business – a man with a talent for crime but not yet spoiled by success. After a long search I found such a fellow in a faraway village in the West. He was famous for stealing pigs. His name was Rufe Tatum and he seemed to be born for this role. He was tall and had blue eyes like the china dog that my aunt used to play with, when she was a child. His hair was red and waved a little. I told him what I wanted and found him ready to become my assistant and learn from me the high art of our profession. He said good-buy to his old mamma, and we started out on our journey.

When we arrived at a little town in the Middle West we found Binkley Brothers’ circus there. I never pass a circus without a little innocent game of shells. So I rented a couple of rooms and boarding for Rufe and me at a house near the circus belonging to a widow lady named Peevy. The same afternoon before the performance I put a little table and began to show people how easy it was to guess which shell the little pea was under. Some people gathered near my table to watch the game. Rufe was to help me involve the people into the game and swindle the crowd. But where was he? I saw him once pass by and look at the circus posters with a mouth full of candies but he didn’t come to my table. The circus performance began and I had to close the game with only 42 dollars.

I went home very angry. I was going to give Rufe a lecture on general business principles in the morning. I had just fallen asleep when a loud squeal woke me. I knocked on the wall and shouted, ‘Mrs. Peevy, madam, please keep your baby quiet so that the honest people can get their rest.’

‘Sir,’ she said, ‘it’s not only my child. It’s the pig that your friend brought home to his room an hour ago. And I’d be grateful if you stop it squealing, sir.’

I put on some clothes and went into Rufe’s room. He had lit his lamp and was pouring some milk into a plate on the roof for a small, white squealing pig.

‘’What is this, Rufe? Said I. ‘You didn’t do your part of the work tonight. And how can you explain the pig?’

‘Now, don’t be too angry with me, Jeff,’ he said. You know how long I have been stealing pigs. It has become a habit with me. And tonight when I saw such a fine chance, I couldn’t help taking it. ’

‘Well,’ I said, maybe you have really got kleptopigia. I’m afraid you will never learn the highest ways of our art. Anyhow, stop the squealing of this distasteful animal.

‘Why, Jeff’, said he, ‘you don’t understand pigs as I do. This is an animal of great intelligence. Some time ago he walked on his hind legs.

‘Well, I’m going to bed,’ I said. ‘Try to make your intelligent friend not to make such a noise.’

‘He was hungry,’ said Rufe. ‘He’ll go to sleep and keep quiet now.’

***

The next morning I got up early and found a local newspaper at the front door where the postman had thrown it. The first thing I saw in it was an advertisement on the front page. It read like this:

Five thousand dollars reward

 

The above amount will be paid and no questions asked for the return of Beppo, the famous European educated pig that ran away or was stolen from Binkley Brothers’ circus last night.

 

George Tapley, Business Manager

At the circus ground

 

I folded the paper, put it into my inside pocket, and went to Rufe’s room. He was nearly dressed, and was feeding the pig with the rest of the milk and some apple peelings.

‘Well, well, good morning,’ I said gaily. “So we are up? And piggi is having his breakfast. What do you intend to do with this pig, Rufe?’

‘I’m going to send him to my ma in Mount Neba. He’ll be company for her while I’m away.’

‘He’s a very good pig,’ I said scratching him on the back.

‘You called him ‘distasteful’ last night,’ said Rufe.

‘Oh, well,’ said I, ‘he looks better to me this morning. I was brought up on a farm and I’m very fond of pigs. I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Rufe. I’ll give you 10 dollars for that pig.’



‘I won’t sell this pig,’ he said.

‘Why not?’ I asked fearful that he might see the newspaper.

‘Because,’ he said, ‘it was the greatest achievement of my life. If I ever have a fireplace and children, I’ll sit beside it and tell them how their daddy could steal a pig from a circus full of people. They will be proud of their pa.’

‘I’ll give you 100 $ for the animal.’

Rue looked at me astonished. ‘The pig can’t be worth anything like that to you,’ he said. ‘What do you want him for?’

‘You wouldn’t think but I’m a collector of pigs. I’ve got a big ranch with most unusual pigs. This specimen looks like a genuine Berkshire. That’s why I’d like to have it. I offer you 500 $ for it.’

‘Jeff,’ said Refe, ‘it isn’t the money, it’s sentiment with me.’

‘700,’ said I wiping off my forehead.’

‘Make it 800’, said this pork lover, ‘and I’ll throw the sentiment out of my heart.’

I counted him forty twenty-dollar gold certificates. ‘I’ll take him into my own room,’ I said, ‘and lock him up till after breakfast.’

‘Let me bring him in for you,’ said Rufe, and he picked up the animal under one arm holding his nose with another hand and brought him into my room like a sleeping baby.

After breakfast Rufe said he would go shopping, and I found an old Negro man with a truck. We tied the pig in a sack and drove down to the circus. I found George Tapey in a little tent.

‘Are you George Tapley?’ I asked.

‘I swear it,’ said he.

‘Well, I’ve got it,’ said I.

‘Got what? The guinea pigs for the Asiatic python?’

‘No,’ said I. ‘I’ve got Beppo, the educated pig. I found him rooting up the flowers in my yard this morning. I want five thousand dollars in large bills’

George Tapley got out of histent and asked me to follow him. We went into one of the buildings of the circus. There was a black pig with a pink ribbon around his neck lying on some hay and eating carrots a man was giving him.

‘Hey Mack!’ the manager called the man. ‘Is there anything wrong with the world famous Beppo this morning?’

‘With Beppo? No,’ said the man, ‘he has got his usual wonderful appetite.’

I pulled out the paper and showed the ad. ‘ Fake,’ said the manager. ‘Don’t know anything about it. Good morning.’

I was beginning to see. I told the Negro to push his truck to the nearest alley. I took out my pig and gave him such a kick that he went squealing to the other end of the alley. Yhen I walked to the newspaper office. The advertising man was sitting at the window.

‘Do you remember,’ I asked, ‘what the man who gave this advertisement looked like?’

‘He was tall and had wavy hair.’

So you see how hard it is to find an honest partner.

 

 

 

Mini-Dictionary

To spoil – вымышленный

Steal – stole – stolen – красть

A shell – ракушка

A pea [piː] – горошина

To swindle – обманывать, мошенничать

A poster – афиша

To squeal [skwiːl] – визжать

To pour [pɔː] – наливать

I couldn’t help taking it – я не мог не взять её

Kleptopigia – паталогическая страсть к воровству свиней

Distasteful – противный

A reward [rɪ'wɔːd] – награда, вознаграждение

To scratch – почёсывать

A fireplace – камин

A truck – грузовик

A guinea pig ['gɪnɪˌpɪg] – морская свинка

I found him rooting up the flowers – я нашел его когда он вырывал цветы с корнем

A fake -подделка

I gave him such a kick that he went squealing to the other end of the alley – я дал ему такого пинка что он, визжа, полетел в противоположный конец аллеи.

Question time!

1) Who is the protagonist? What does he do for a living?

2) What kind of man did he want to find? What had the man he found been doing?

3) What was Rufe like? What was his physical appearance?

4) Where did they arrive and what did the protagonist start with (с чего он начал)? Was he content (быть довольным) with his performance?

5) What woke the protagonist up the following day? What did he do and what did he learn about Rufe?

6) What ad did he come across (to come across – случайно наткнуться) the following morning? What did he decide to do?

7) How did the negotiations with Rufe go? Did he convince him to sell the pig to him?

8) What happened when he arrived at the circus? What did he learn?

9) How did he feel when the truth dawned on him? (когда правда осенила его?)

10) Where did he go after his visit to the circus?


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