"How did you find them?" the boy asked suddenly. "The Fal'Borna, I mean."paused and looked up at him, shielding her eyes against the sun. "My father sent me for help. He told me to follow the lake north to Lowna."looked over at S'Doryn and T'Noth, who were speaking quietly. "And now we're going to live with them."
"Yes."
"Do you think they'll let us be Y'Qatt?"shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want to be Y'Qatt?"didn't answer and a moment later S'Doryn called Jynna over and helped her back into the saddle.
"It's only children who survived," she said, as he climbed up behind her. "Why is that?"
"I don't know, Jynna. Maybe it has something to do with magic. One of the girls who was burned is older than you are, but not old enough to have come into her power yet. That's the only thing I can think of that makes any sense."
"But does that mean it wasn't the pestilence?"
"I'm not certain what it means."started riding out of the village. From what she had overheard of S'Doryn's conversation with the brothers, it seemed that they were going to stay in the low hills west of the lake until they were allowed to return to the Fal'Borna village.
"Is there anything else you can tell me about what happened yesterday, Jynna?" S'Doryn asked after they had ridden for some time. "Anything at all unusual?"
"Well, there was the old woman."looked down at her. "What old woman?"
"I saw her…" She was reluctant to mention her secret spot, until she realized with a pang of regret that she probably wouldn't ever be going back to it. "I met her in a dale near the village. She was working on some baskets to trade in the marketplace."
"And did she seem at all ill?"
"No, she was fine."frowned and faced forward again. "Still, she might have gotten sick later. She was Qirsi, right?"
"No. She was Mettai."
"Mettai?" He sighed and shook his head. "That's blood magic. If this is a strain of the pestilence that strikes at Qirsi magic, it probably wouldn't have come from her."they fell silent, until Jynna said, "Her baskets were pretty. She gave me one."
"Did you bring it with you?"shook her head. "No. I was afraid it would remind me of yesterday. But now I wish I had."10Moon, second day of the waxing, 1147.'s been more than half a turn since Licaldi appeared in our village, and I despair of knowing little more about her today than I did that first sunny morning. I was encouraged in those first few days, satisfied that I was learning more about the girl with each day that passed, but I realize now that all that I gleaned then were trifles: the mere fact that she could speak, her name, the fact that she was Mettai, even the knowledge that some terrible tragedy has befallen her and those she loves. Aside from her name, these details, while certainly of some value, tell me little that I couldn't tell simply by looking at her by recalling how she appeared that day she arrived-emaciated and filthy and haunted.seems contented to follow me around day after day, as I attend to my duties as eldest and do all that I must to keep my house-our house-clean and the garden growing. I remain concerned for her and I try to remind myself each day that she has another home, perhaps a family who are searching desperately for her as I write this. Still, I have to admit that I enjoy having her with me. I've become quite fond of her for though she doesn't speak of anything that happened to her before she came to Kirayde-and in fact seems to take great care in avoiding any mention of her past-she speaks at length of other matters, offering her observations on the workings of our marketplace, on the ease with which I use magic (she has expressed admiration for my skill as a sorceress, and I have to admit that I'm flattered), and on the various people she's encountered in my company. Through all of this, she shown herself to be quite clever and possessed of a sharp wit. She laughs freely and at times strikes me as being a fine, normal young girl.then a shadow falls over her eyes, or a remark slips out that seems to hint at her former life, and the light I see in her is extinguished as swiftly as a candle in a sudden wind. If I pursue these matters with questions, she withdraws, grows silent, even sullen, as if by asking I have committed some breach of trust. At these times it doesn't matter what tone of voice I use, gentle or hard: Licaldi remains reticent. And my frustration grows.sense that she is aware of my feelings. And here I mean far more than the obvious. Of course she knows how eager I am to know more about her- my questions, which I've repeated probably dozens of times, can leave little doubt as to that. But I think she knows as well that I've grown attached to her that in many ways she has rescued me from a life that was a good deal emptier than I ever realized. For too long I've lived without companionship, without love. I was starved for it, though I never knew it. Licaldi did, though. I'm just as certain of that as I am of the fact that she has seen horrors beyond my imagining. I'm not so foolish as to think that she chose this village for that reason, or even that she contrived in some way to end up with me. That was the will of the gods, who may well have marked us for one another long ago.I do believe that she uses my need against me. Perhaps if I had a husband and a family, I wouldn't be so frightened that I might drive her away with more persistent questioning. Perhaps if I hadn't grown so accustomed to her presence here in the short time we've had together, I would be more eager to find the truth and return the poor girl to her rightful home. I don't know how much of what she does is meant to bend me to her will, and how much merely has that effect inadvertently, but I have seen her haggle with peddlers on my behalf, and I have seen her turn others to her purposes and I recognize some of the devices she has used on them as being the same she has used to good effect with me.a few days ago, for the first time, she played with some of the other village children, and in no time at all she had made herself their leader, though she was neither the oldest nor the biggest. She convinced them to play a game of find the wraith by rules I had never seen before. She didn't bully them, though I believe some of the other children are afraid of her She merely got her way, as she so often does.don't mean this to sound as mean-spirited as it probably does. It's late and I'm weary and I should be sleeping. She's a good girl, and I've come to love her very much. But she is someone who makes the world as she wants it, and woe to those who would stand in her way.that isn't right either, for I can't imagine that her world is anything like what she imagined or hoped it would be just a few turns ago.Moon, sixth day of the waxing, 1147last, a spar of light in the shadows. Some of the mystery surrounding the poor girl was lifted today, though learning what I have I am more convinced than ever that she has been through a terrible ordeal, one she was fortunate to survive. And I'm equally certain that those she loved were not as fortunate as herwere in the marketplace, as we often are in the mornings these days af – ter breaking our fast and walking in the garden to see how the crops are coming along and what damage one determined and cunning rabbit had done over the course of the previous night. We've never seen the creature, though he leaves ample evidence of his visits. Licaldi has named him Terki, after the trickster of Mettai lore. I think it a fine name and have resolved not to leave snares for him, though only a turn ago I would have done so without hesitation. Didn't I say that she almost always gets her way?I am avoiding that which is so unpleasant to write.were in the marketplace, looking at bolts of cloth that were being sold by a Qirsi merchant from the Talm'Orast. She'd been with me long enough, and had become so much a part of my home, that I wanted to make a cover for her bed, which now stands in the corner of my own bedroom. She had chosen a fabric we both liked and the merchant and I had agreed to a price of one gold and two silvers.was a good price for such fine material, but I'd known this merchant, a woman named K'Malai, for many years and she often does well by me when it's clear that I want something. She's wise enough to want to stay in the good graces of the village's eldest.I was pulling out the coins, she remarked that she hadn't seen Licaldi before and she asked the girl how she'd come to be living in Kirayde. I paused, interested to hear Licaldi's answer.girl looked at me, and I knew that she wanted me to help her to make up some story that would answer K'Malai's question without forcing her to delve into the truth. This one time, I refused her simply by doing nothing.saw anger flash in her emerald eyes and an instant later she spun away and fled the marketplace.called after her once, drawing the stares of others nearby, but Licaldi didn't stop.
"I'm sorry," K'Malai said. "I didn't mean to upset her"
"It's not your fault. She came to us just before the full of the previous moon, and we still don't know where she's from or what drove her from her home."
"You know nothing about her?"
"She's Mettai. Her name is Licaldi. She came to us half starved and wretched from having wandered in the wilderness for who knows how long. I believe that something terrible has happened to her, but I'm only guessing. We know nothing for certain."merchant appeared to consider this for some time, her hands on her hips, and her lips pursed. "You say she's Mettai?" she asked at length.
"She says she is. She's too young to show any signs of knowing blade craft." "Still, she looks it."
"If you suspect something, you'd best tell me. Even the hint of a rumor would be better than the nothing we know now."
"It's more than a rumor, though it's far from certain that it has anything to do with the girl. But there's a Mettai town south of here, one I used to stop in when I came up this way." She winced. "I say there is a town; I should say was. It was struck by the pestilence not long ago. As far as I know, no one survived."
"No one?"shook her head, a haunted look in her pale yellow eyes. Even for the Qirsi, whose power to heal the sick runs far deeper than any magic of ours, the pestilence is cause for terror "As I say, this might have nothing to do with her"I knew better "You said not long ago. Can you be more exact?"shrugged, narrowing her eyes. "About a turn, I'd say. Maybe a bit more."seemed to me that a turn would be about right. "What was the name of the village?" I asked.
"Sentaya."repeated the name and nodded. "Thank you, K'Malai." I gave her the coins and took my cloth.
"I hope this has nothing to do with the girl," she called after me, as I started to walk away.
"So do I," I answered. "But it does. It has everything to do with her"took the cloth home, hoping that I'd find Licaldi there. When she wasn't I began to grow concerned. She hadn't strayed far from my side since the day she arrived in Kirayde, and I didn't know if she could find her way back to the house without me. Clever as she is, though, I should have known better. I found her in the garden, sitting among the bean poles, her knees drawn up to her chest, and her long hair hanging over her face.sat down near her but I said nothing. I wanted her to start this conversation. For a long time, she remained silent, and I had the sense that she was just as determined that I be the first one to speak. I've heard parents speaking of engaging their children in a contest of wills. This was my first experience with such a thing. Does this mean that I'm a parent now? I feel that I become more of one with each day that passes.I decided that this was a contest I didn't necessarily need to win. "Her question frightened you," I said quietly..
"Eventually, you're going to have to tell me what happened."of all things drew a response.
"Why?" she demanded, tears on her face. "Why do you need to know? Isn't it enough that I'm here? Can't we just pretend that it's been like this all along?"
"This isn't play, Licaldi. And it hasn't been this way all along. Something happened to you, and if I'm going to take care of you, I need to know what it was."sat there a moment longer, and then she started to climb to her feet. I grabbed her arm and, not gently, forced her to remain where she was. I'd never done anything of the sort before, and she gaped at me as if I had slapped her across the face.
"I'm not done speaking with you," I said sternly. "And until I am, you'll stay right where you are."looked frightened, though of me, or what she thought I might ask her, I'm still not certain.
"You're from Sentaya, aren't you?"the color drained from her cheeks and tears spilled down her face. But she didn't answer me.
"The pestilence came, and everyone got sick but you. Isn't that so?" I took her hand, and though she didn't grip my fingers in return, she didn't pull it back either "Your mother and father died."sob escaped her
"Perhaps a brother or a sister, as well?"
"Two sisters," she whispered.that moment it seemed that my heart split in two. Part of me grieved for her and all that she had lost, while another rejoiced at hearing her voice, at having her trust me enough to offer even this simple answer. It was a fleeting sensation, for in the next moment she frightened me terribly.
"Please don't make me say more!" she said, throwing herself on me, clinging to me as she sobbed and sobbed.! How could there possibly be more? Wasn't this enough? Hadn't the gods heaped enough anguish on this child? Already they had taken too much from her; already they had forced her to endure horrors that would have overwhelmed people twice her age. I tried to tell myself that she referred only to the ordeal of watching them succumb to the disease. Surely she would have shrunk from reliving that. But I believe there really is more, something that remains trapped within her, like some terrible beast fighting to break free.didn't push her any further and she volunteered nothing else. We remained in the garden for more than an hour, and she cried for a good deal of that time until at last she fell asleep, her head in my lap, my fingers stroking her hair I let her remain that way another hour before shaking her gently.she awoke, her spirits seemed greatly improved, almost as if she had forgotten the events of the morning. I couldn't be certain whether this was genuine, or if she was acting this way for my benefit, but I decided that she had been forced to reveal enough of herself for the day, and I didn't broach the matter again., then, is how matters stand tonight. She is sleeping soundly at present, though it wouldn't surprise me if the day's revelations trigger another spate of dark dreams. I'm prepared, of course, to help her in any way I can, but I have to admit that I have fears of my own. I've yet to learn all there is to know about Licaldi's past. What I've gleaned thus far is dark enough. I dread what I might learn next.laid the daybook aside and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Glancing out the window of the old hut, he saw that the sun had sunk low in the western sky, its light shading toward gold and shimmering on the waters of the small rill that ran by the village. Another day gone, and he found himself feeling much as Sylpa did: frustrated by how little he had learned, afraid of the revelations still to come.fact was that these days he often thought as Sylpa did. Perhaps it was inevitable, delving into her private writings each day, but he had discovered that his mind and hers worked in similar ways. She would have been younger than he when she wrote all this about Lici, but not so much younger that he couldn't find much in common with her.he first mentioned to his daughter that he had become consumed with learning the truth about Lici and her disappearance, Elica had asked if he loved the old woman. Of course he didn't. She terrified him., though, he now believed that he had come to love Sylpa. Never mind that she had been dead for more than eleven fours, or that even had she been alive, she would have been fifty years older than he. For the past half turn, he had been reading her journal, glimpsing the workings of her keen mind, sounding the depths of her compassion for the poor girl whom fate had thrust upon her. Aside from Ema, he had never known any woman so intimately. At first he had sworn to himself that he would only read those portions of the journal that touched upon Lici and her past, but in recent days he had spent as much time reading about Sylpa's life as he had trying to learn what he could about the girl.Besh anticipated, he had found references to his parents in the journal. He hadn't expected, however, that Sylpa would have unkind things to say about his mother, about her pettiness and her tendency to hold a grudge. Nor had it occurred to him that, upon seeing his mother through this woman's discerning eye, he would agree with most of her criticisms. It struck him as odd that he should place so much faith in the judgments of someone he'd hardly known, and yet it also felt perfectly natural. At times, as he walked through the village, or even as he sat at Elica's supper table, listening to the prattle of his grandchildren, he would have private conversations with Sylpa, sharing his own observations and imagining things she might say.until recently, it was something he had only done with his beloved Ema, and he couldn't help feeling that he had somehow betrayed her. If he had fallen in love with a living woman and allowed her to share his heart with his dead wife, he wouldn't have felt nearly as guilty as he did daydreaming about this other woman, dead so many years. He never mentioned Sylpa to Elica, unless it was in the context of something he had learned about Lici, and then he rarely uttered Sylpa's name. It was as if he were having a secret love affair with a wraith. A part of him knew how ridiculous it was-Elica herself might have found it humorous. But he could never work up the courage to tell her.only person who had any idea was Pyav, with whom he shared all that he learned of Lici's childhood. And if the blacksmith had noticed anything unusual in the way Besh spoke of Sylpa, he had the courtesy to keep his observations to himself.pushed himself out of the chair and stretched his back. Then he returned the journal to the old wooden box in the back room of the house, taking care to place Lici's bag of coins on top of it, so that all was just as he had found it that first day when he and Pyav searched the hut. He wasn't certain why he bothered doing this every day. He was the onlywho ever entered the house, and he was starting to doubt that Lici would come back, though he'd yet to say as much to anyone. Still, he left everything just as it had been, even going so far as to return the chair he'd been sitting in to its original place by the hearth. Only then did he make his way to Pyav's shop.had gone to speak with the village eldest each day after reading the journal. By now Pyav expected him; he was sitting out front whenarrived.
"You look tired, my friend," the blacksmith said as Besh sat on the bench beside him.smiled wanly. "It's all the reading. Sylpa's hand isn't the easiest." It almost seemed that she was there at his shoulder, listening. And he added, as if for her benefit, "Though it's a good deal better than mine."
"Anything today?" Pyav asked. He already sounded bored, and not for the first time Besh wondered if the man thought him foolish for going to all of this trouble.
"Actually, yes." He was pleased to see the surprise on Pyav's broad face. "It seems that Lici's village was ravaged by the pestilence. That was how she happened to be wandering alone in the wilderness."
"Her family?"
"All of them died. Her parents and two sisters."eldest exhaled through his teeth. "Well, such a thing is bound to lie heavily on anyone, particularly on a child of that age."
"I agree."
"Still," Pyav said, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not certain that it explains all that we know of Lici. Such a thing might leave a person scarred, even bitter. But Lici goes far beyond this. There's a darkness in her thatcan barely fathom."
"Sylpa thinks there's more to this tale than we've heard thus far,"said. He regretted the words immediately.
"Sylpa thinks?" Pyav repeated. He laughed, though he seemed uncomfortable. "You do realize that the woman is dead."
"Of course," Besh said, making himself smile. He felt his face coloring, and once more he had the sense that Sylpa was there, waiting to hear how he would handle this. "Forgive me. I've spent so many hours with the daybook that I forget sometimes whether I'm living in Sylpa's time or ours."frowned. "I'm concerned for you, Besh. I shouldn't have to remind you that you're not a young man. You're pushing yourself awfully hard, and I'm not certain that it's worth the effort. Even if there is more to Lici's story than this tragedy you read about today, what difference does it make? Do you honestly still believe that Lici left here because of something that happened during Sylpa's lifetime? Do you even still believe that Lici's alive?" He passed a hand over his face, wincing slightly. "I'm sorry to say this to you, Besh. Truly I am. But I think you're wasting your time. At first, when you started reading the daybook, I thought maybe there was some point to it. We know so little about Lici, and I felt that anything we might learn about her would be helpful. So this is my fault as much as it is yours. Probably more. But I think it's time we admitted to ourselves, and to everyone else in the village, that she's gone, that she's not coming back, and that we have no idea why she left." He placed his hand on Besh's shoulder. "I think it's also time we admitted that we're relieved to be rid of her."first, Besh didn't say anything. He wanted to ask if this meant that he no longer had the eldest's permission to read Sylpa's daybook, but he realized that he was afraid to hear Pyav's answer. His friend, though, mistook the cause of his silence.
"If you're worried about her gold, don't be. You mentioned some time ago that you thought the gold should be used to build a new well for the village. I think that's a fine idea."
"Actually, that was Sirj's idea," he said, his voice low.
"Then when the time comes, Sirj can lay the first stone. The point is, no one will be getting rich off of Lici's misfortune, and all of us will benefit from the coins she left behind. That's what you were worried about, isn't it? Isn't that how all of this began?"knew that Pyav was trying his best to make him feel better, and he should have been grateful. But all he could say was "Are you telling me I can't go back and read the daybook anymore?"
"I'm telling you that I don't think you should, that it a waste of your time."didn't respond and after another moment Pyav shook his head and looked away.
"If you want to go back, you can, Besh. It's not in my power to order you away from Lici's house. But I wish that the word of a friend was enough to make you see how foolish this is."
"I appreciate your concern, Eldest."
"But you're going back."
"I still think there's something to be learned from that journal. And I still believe that Lici is alive."'s mouth twisted sourly. "Very well. Do as you will. If you learn anything of value, I'll want to hear about it."nodded, understanding that this was the last of their daily conversations. "Thank you, Pyay." He stood and started to walk away.
"Why are you doing this?" the blacksmith called after him.halted, sighed, and turned. "She left sixty-four years to the day after her arrival. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"
"Of course it does, but everything Lici has ever done strikes me as odd. She's the strangest person any of us has ever known."
"This is strange even for her, and I think it means something." "Isn't it possible that she chose that day to go off and die? Couldn't it be that simple?"
"Maybe," Besh said. "But I'm a good deal closer to the day of my death than you are to yours, and I can tell you that if I was going off to die, I wouldn't leave my home as she left hers."smiled kindly. "Of course you wouldn't, my friend. But you would be leaving behind people you love. That would be a terrible burden to leave for Elica and Sirj. Lici had no such concerns. She was alone and I believe she hated the rest of us. I can easily imagine her doing this to the people of Kirayde. Actually, it would have surprised me if she'd shown us any more consideration than she did."knew that Pyav was making a great deal of sense, probably more than he himself was. But he could hear Sylpa's voice inside his head, insistent and no less convincing. "You're probably right," was all he said. Pyav gave him a sly look. "Now you're humoring me."had to smile. "Yes."
"Go, then," the eldest said, smiling as well. "And tomorrow, after you've read, come and tell me what you've learned."
"You're certain?"
"I'm eldest of this village. I should know its history." He shrugged again. "To be honest, I find all that you've told me about Sylpa rather interesting."
"All right, then. Tomorrow."raised a hand in farewell and started toward home. The sky overhead was darkening and the air had grown cool. Another day gone. He couldn't remember the last time he had taken Mihas with him to the garden or found the time to play with Annze and Cam. No doubt Elica had noticed how consumed he was with Lici's disappearance and Sylpa's journal. She hadn't commented on it recently, but he knew she wouldn't remain silent for long. It wasn't her way.
"You're going to have to tell me what you know, Sylpa," he whispered in the twilight. "I can't keep on this way forever."you're so eager to know, find the passage and read it. Not Ema's voice, though the words could well have been hers. This was Sylpa, speaking to him as his dear wife so often did.
"I wouldn't know where to look. I could just as easily skip past it as find it."'s an excuse and nothing more. You read at this pace because you wish to, because you like having my voice in your head.
"Am I wasting my time then? Is this just the folly of a lonely old man?" No, the voice said. So certain, so forceful, that he almost looked around to see who had spoken. The answer is there, in the book. "But is the question worth asking?"didn't need to hear her response. He knew already; he had all along.he reached the house, he saw Mihas running toward him and heard him calling, "Grandfather! Grandfather!"smiled to see the boy and held out his hand for Mihas to take.
"Where have you been?" he asked breathlessly, taking Besh's hand and turning to walk back home.
"I was speaking with Pyav. And before that I was at Lici's house."
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Not yet," Besh said. "But I think I'm getting closer."
"Does that mean you know where Lici is?" "No, I'm afraid not."reached the house and went inside. Annze was placing food on the table and Elica stood at the hearth stirring a pot of stew. She cast a dark look Besh's way, but didn't say anything. Sirj and Cam were playing on the floor and Cam managed to say hello between giggles.sat down to eat a few moments later. Elica's stew was quite good, but Besh could tell that she was angry with him, and neither of them said much. The children asked him question after question about Lici's house, as they always did. They'd heard so many tales about the woman that it seemed they thought Besh spent his days in the company of wraiths. As soon as he formed the thought, he grinned. Hadn't he been thinking much the same thing earlier that day, as he pondered the feelings he harbored for Sylpa?
"What are you smiling at?" Elica demanded.regarded her placidly. "My own foolishness."didn't know how to respond to that and so fell back into her sullen silence.chuckled appreciatively. "A good answer. I'd do well to remember it." He winked at Besh.said something cutting to her husband, but Besh didn't hear it.more, the old man found himself wondering why he'd been so dismissive of Sirj for so many years. No man who could laugh at himself and help raise such fine children deserved to be treated so. Had Besh simply allowed himself to become one of those fathers who thought no man was good enough for his daughter?it surprise you to learn that you were so thickheaded?could be no mistaking that voice. Ema. Why was his mind so filled with the thoughts of the dead?rest of the meal passed in relative silence and before long, Elica and Sirj shooed the children off to bed and began to clear the table. Besh would have liked to go outside, light his pipe, and think some more about what he'd read today. But after spending so much time away from the house, he felt that he should remain with his daughter, at least for a time.stood and wrapped what remained of the bread in a cloth. After that, there was little left for him to do, but he lingered in the kitchen, watching Elica as she cleaned.
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