Carolyn burst in. "Janet, you'll never guess!"
"What have they done?" drawled Janet, turning back prepared to hear the worst. She just knew deep in her heart that her daughter had found a kindred spirit in Robbie and that trouble was going to follow them like a wake.
"She bought out Walt Higgins lock, stock and barrel for a million dollars!"
Janet's feet hit the floor with a bang as she sat forward with a start. "She's done what?!"
"Okay, Reb, we gotta think in terms of dinner here. You know I'm kinda the house-mom this week. Weird huh?" Robbie chatted happily to the baby, who was banging pans together with some energy as she sat on the kitchen floor. Robbie stopped what she was doing and looked down at the percussion section, "Say kid, maybe you'll take up jazz. I like jazz. I play a pretty good trumpet you know...well for an amateur. There's a clarinet in your mom's closet. I saw it while I was snooping. Maybe we could form a group and jam!"
The baby giggled and slammed two pot lids together. Robbie laughed and went back to opening a can of baked beans and dumping them into a pan. Getting all those cans of baked beans was a good idea after all, Robbie reasoned. Now she wouldn't have to worry about meals.
The door slammed open and Janet strode in throwing her case on the couch as she went by. Robbie looked up in surprise. The sound of crashing pans had masked the arrival of Janet's truck. "Hi!" called Robbie cheerfully licking the spoon clean of cold baked beans.
"Don't you hi me, Robbie Williams, as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth! What are you up to? You can't just come into this town and turn people's lives upside down. A million dollars for the old lumber yard! Robbie those people make a living out there! It's one of the few industries in the town!" roared Janet, standing in the centre of the living room shaking with anger and beet red with emotion.
Robbie's body went strangely still and her facial muscles hardened into an expression totally devoid of emotion. The blue eyes that had sparkled a second before like rain drops in the sun were now the colour of glacial ice. "I wanted it. I bought it," she hissed.
"And what about Doug and Tracy?!"
"I bought them off," Robbie shrugged.
"Bought them off! These are people, Robbie, not stock commodities! What the hell is a Grip?" demanded Janet coming to hold on to the edge of the stone topped counter with white fingers.
Robbie leaned against the back counter forcing her body that was taunt with rage to relax. "It's someone who fetches and carries on site. They set up the sets under the charge of the chief grip."
"Mommy?"
Janet ran an unsteady hand through her hair. " And just where are they going to work? Toronto? They'd hate it! Damn it Robbie! You've ruined these people's lives on a whim!"
"Bad Mommy," called Rebecca, upset at her mother's anger as she pulled on Janet's skirt.
"Giving some one a million dollars is not wrecking anyone's life!" came the snarled response.
"You would say that," Janet yelled, "You stupid Williams think money and power is everything!"
"Mommy!!"
"Shut up Rebecca!" Janet snapped looking down at the annoyance that was pulling at her skirt. Reb's face crumpled into a tight knot and her mouth opened in surprise. Then the tears started to fall and the wail of hurt echoed in the now silent room.
Janet dropped to her knees and wrapped the small child close to her. "Oh, Reb, I'm so sorry! Shhhh,
baby. Mommy didn't mean it. I'm so sorry!"
Robbie looked down at the two with eyes filled with confusion and pain. Then she silently left. Outside, the cool air felt good against her hot skin. Anger and hurt coursed through her system in pulsating waves. She broke into a run down the path.
The miles moved passed in green walls of trees as Robbie pushed herself on and on down the shoulder off the road. Finally, as the sun was dropping towards the western horizon, she came to a staggering stop and dropped down into some long, sun baked grass by the side of a beaver swamp. For a while, she lay on her back gasping for breath and trying to work the cramps out of her oxygen starved muscles.
Finally, pushing herself up, she walked down to the edge of the pond and knelt to splash cold water over her hot body. A wack and a splash, a beaver, angry with the intrusion, slapped its flat tail against the water and then swam out to the relative safety of its home, a dome of mud and sticks half submerged in the water. Robbie watched as the beaver slapped the water once more in warning and then dove below the surface to the entrance of its snug den. Despite her foul mood she smiled. In the soft, honey glow of the late afternoon, the bog and its creatures was a beautiful site.
It had been a long time, Robbie realized, since she had just stopped and enjoyed nature. She sat down, wrapping her arms around her legs and listened to the chirp of the frogs calling to each other. Over head bats and swallows swooped across the darkening sky chasing insects. Robbie slapped at a mosquito. It was time to head back. She got up reluctantly, unwilling to deal with the conflict back at the cabin. With a sigh she set an easy jog back. Maybe the bitch would be in bed by the time she got there and she wouldn't have to deal with the issue.
Thump, thump, the rhythmic tread of Robbie's sneakers echoed in the dark. She hadn't realized that she had run so far or so fast. She had been jogging now for almost two hours and she had only just reached the turn off to the cabin. It was dark now and she had actually run passed the driveway, only catching sight of Janet's mail box at the last minute and doing a U-turn to drop into the blackness of the long lane.
She slowed a bit, unable to see her footing on the rutted path. If I stay here, I'm going to have to get this driveway paved, she thought. That is if she didn't find her stuff on the stoop when she got back! Okay, maybe she had acted a bit impulsively but going with her gut reaction was the way she ran her business. Although she headed a multi million dollar company, she was an entrepreneur by nature not a business person. It was the empire building she loved not the maintenance of a corporation. Tigers hunt and sheep stay home on the farm, she thought. She didn't have time to worry about individuals. Everyone has to look out for themselves! So why was she feeling guilty?
Okay, so I promised Doug and Tracy more than a salary. I promised them jobs. I've got some ideas. I'm just not ready to talk about them yet. They're not so much ideas as they are those gut feelings again that just let me know I'm headed down the right path. How can I explain that to Janet without sounding like an idiot? In the long run, what I did today will work out all right for everyone, I just don't know how yet.
Thump, thump. I'm not used to having to share ideas. If I'd told Janet more this morning when she asked about my plans, maybe we wouldn't have fought. I guess I did put her in an embarrassing position. This is a small town and all and I am her guest sort of. Maybe I could have cut her some slack too. How would I handle knowing that I had cancer and could die. How would I say good bye?
Robbie's stomach reacted violently at this thought. Sending her to the side of the road to throw up. The thought of losing Janet or Reb was like a shot through her heart. Damn. I gotta work out more. When was the last time I threw up after a run? The Boston marathon? Robbie wiped the cold sweat from her brow with the back of her arm. Shit!
Janet sat in the corner of the couch, a small forlorn figure. She had a very stressful day and her talk with the chair of the Board had been the icing on the cake. 'So where do we stand here Janet? Should we be posting your job and interviewing? I'm sympathetic but the school has to have consistent and strong leadership.' The insufferable bastard had her dead and buried already!
She should have told him to go to hell but instead she had been diplomatically reassuring and come home instead and dumped all over Robbie. It hadn't been fair. Not that Robbie hadn't acted high handedly but she could have at least given her the chance to explain. Robbie had dropped everything and come to support a complete stranger when asked and in return Janet had insulted and berated her!
She got up once more and looked out into the dark night. Where are you? She wondered again if she should wake up Reb and take the truck out to look for Robbie. She might have been hit by a car and be lying in a ditch somewhere. A wave of fear brought out a cold sweat on her forehead and goose bumps on her arms. She was going to get Reb and start searching. Then she saw the tall figure jog tiredly into the circle of the porch light and she shot out the screen door, down the porch steps and into Robbie's startled arms.
"I'm so sorry!" she wailed into a sweaty shoulder.
"Me too, love. Me too," groaned Robbie holding Janet in a tight embrace.
Robbie emerged from the shower to the reassuring smell of canned pork and beans and fresh toast. She wrapped a towel around her and combed her hair back straight. Then she headed out to the kitchen where Janet was just dishing up their late meal.
They sat side by side on high stools eating their meal at the bar counter. Their conversation was pleasant but forced each of them still trying to deal with the emotion of their fight. Usually a fight didn't bother Robbie much. If she needed to dress some one down she did. She paid her employees well and they had an outstanding benefits package. In return, Robbie expected excellence and a high performance level to match her own.
But fighting with Janet had really hurt and it had left her feeling confused and vulnerable. She knew Janet was waiting for her to explain why she had bought the lumber yard. "Ahhhh, it bothers me that you slept with my brother." Why the hell had she said that?!
"W..What?!"
"I said, it bothers me that you slept with my brother," Robbie repeated moodily, stabbing at her meal with her fork.
"I didn't."
"W...What?!"
"I didn't. Do you really think I'd sleep with a stranger?! It was done artificially."
Robbie tossed down her fork and turned to look at Janet. Blue moody eyes met flashing green. "You sorta implied that! It explains a lot. I didn't think my brother...Reb was mixed up in a petri dish?!"
"Basically, yes."
"A test tube kid?!"
"There is nothing wrong with that or my daughter!" responded Janet, her temper rising again. Robbie broke out laughing. "What's so funny?!"
"It just explains a lot. Ahhhh, about Billy and about you. Ahhh, well, ahhh, it was just weird wanting to bed a woman that had slept with my brother."
"You make me feel like a hand- me-down shirt," grumbled Janet sipping off the stool to remove the plates.
"You are the most beautiful and enticing woman I have ever met," Robbie said honestly.
Now it was Janet's turn to laugh as she ran hot water in the sink. "You will say and do anything to get me into bed won't you?!" she giggled and then looking over her shoulder she saw Robbie's face.
"I meant it," Robbie said quietly and went to look out the window into the dark night.
Janet wiped the soap suds off her hands and followed after Robbie. "Hey," she said wrapping her arms around the actor's waist and leaning her head against Robbie's muscular back. "I'm sorry. I guess it is hard for me to believe that of all the beautiful and talented people you have known, you would find me the most appealing."
Robbie said nothing. There was a lot she knew she should say but somehow the words just weren't there. Funny, she never had trouble writing dialogue. But it was different when it was real emotion and you had to actually say the words.
Janet sensed the tension in Robbie and realized that the complex woman needed some emotional space.
"Thank you for saying it though. It makes me feel very special. I...I care for you Robbie. Hey, you want to teach me some more about film? We could go through my videos and you could tell me about them."
Robbie turned and gave Janet a quick hard hug. Pull yourself together here Robbie. You are supposed to be supporting Janet not her you! "Sure. You let me know when you've had enough. I can go on for hours!"
They walked hand in hand over to the television inset and settled down once again on the rug. Robbie sorted through Janet's videos with disdain. "I'm going to buy you a decent collection of films for Christmas. This lot are an embarrassment!"
"Hmmmm," Janet agreed, allowing Robbie to take over and find the safe ground she needed for her warring emotions.
"Okay, we'd better look at Disney cartoons. Seeing as Reb has been buying the videos in this house.
Beauty and the Beast was a block buster. It was beautifully made. Look at this horse pulling the cart through the dark woods. The animation is great. You can feel the weight, the muscle and the fear, it says draft horse and yet the expressions are human."
"Wait until I forward. Okay, observe the detail in the castle. Forget about the characters, just look at the background, the depth of detail and intense shadows and feel of dimension. The people who do the backgrounds are not animators, you know, they are fine artist. This work is superb! And then there is the personification of the clock, candlestick etc. This is Disney at its best!
Okay, look at this scene of the napkins spinning on the table and then parachuting off the edge. Remember that! Right here's Fantasia, which is the mother of classics in film amination. In my opinion it is the best animation ever made. Okay, see this scene, where the blossoms spin down the waterfalls, where have you seen that?"
"It's the same as the napkins!" exclaimed Janet getting as involved as Robbie in what she was seeing.
"Got it in one! This is one team of animators paying homage to another. Fantasia was made way back before the war. Walt wanted it to be an on going project where the film would be morphed each season and would be reissued. But there wasn't the money after the war to do that. There is talk that it might be done in the next few years."
"I love Fantasia!" exclaimed Janet eyes sparkling.
Robbie gave her a quick hug. "Good girl. There is hope for you yet!" Janet poked Robbie in the ribs.
Robbie leaned forward and slipped Beauty and the Beast back in the machine and rewound to near the beginning.
"Each character is done by one team with a manager overseeing. The woman who was in charge of the team that worked on Belle in Beauty and the Beast had the habit of using her hand to brush her hair back off her face when she leaned over a drawing board. The animators put the gesture in as a joke."
On the screen Janet saw Belle reach up and push her hair out of her eyes. "She did it!" laughed Janet with delight.
"Yep, there are all sorts of hidden jokes in film. Here's another one. The teams that did Beauty and the Beast did the crowd scenes for Hunchback while other teams did the principal characters. But they left their mark! Look closely now, right here near the beginning of the film when their showing the streets of Paris, see the character rounding the corner, she is only on for a half second..."
"It's Belle!" laughed Janet clapping her hands.
Robbie laughed at Janet's enthusiasm. "Right. Different coloured outfit but it's Belle all right."
Robbie slipped the tape out and got up to put some soft jazz on the stereo. She got two wine glasses out while Janet watched. Expertly, Robbie uncorked one of the bottles of Mouton Cadet from the private vineyards of the Rothchild's that she had bought for their thanksgiving dinner. The brick coloured wine glowed in the soft light of the fire. For a while, they lay contentedly watching the flames and sipping their wine. Like so many good French wines, it had that rich mushroomy body and peppery finish that was a delight to the senses.
"I bought the land for you," Robbie muttered not daring to look at Janet.
"What?!" came the startled response as Janet put down her wine and turned to face Robbie. Robbie downed the last of her wine and put her glass next to Janet's.
"You said you didn't want to see the trees around the lake cut down. So I bought the land for you," admitted Robbie starring with interest at the rug, as a blush crept up her neck.
"Oh Robbie!" came a strangled gasp and Robbie found her arms wrapping around the small woman that had just propelled herself into the taller woman's lap.
The music started slowly, a melody of rich, liquid notes that rained softly from a mellow guitar. Robbie let her mouth caress Janet's face, ears and neck enjoying the soft, rhythmic gasps of delight from the woman under her. The guitar picked up the tempo as clothes were loosened and discarded. Now the rhythm took over repeating its beat in an earnest need. Hot music, hot flesh as Janet let Robbie play her body like a finely tuned instrument. The guitar thumped out a crescendo of notes as Janet's body groaned with each passing wave of release.
The melody was passed to the piano player who hungrily took up the age old melody. Janet rolled Robbie onto her back and felt the woman's groan vibrate on her lips as she nuzzled a long, muscular neck. The music rose relentlessly to a climax allowing the pounding of the drums to take over and dominate. Then the other instruments once again took up the rhythmic refrain slowly, softly now bringing all the elements of the music into a single note that whispered off into silence.
Much later, Robbie lay on her back in Janet's bed. The smaller woman was fast asleep lying on Robbie with her limbs dangling like a little, golden cub asleep in the sun. Robbie was in a state of total shock. Bases loaded in the top of the ninth and who slams home the home run but the opposition team! When had Robbie ever let go like that before? Never! She had given herself completely to Janet and had let all the defenses down, screaming with ecstasy as her body bucked with each passing after shock. She had never let herself be that vulnerable before. Never let someone control her so completely. My god! It had been wonderful!
Tears rolled from the corners of Robbie's eyes and settled like dew drops on the floral sheets. My God! I'm in love, she realized with a shock. After all these years of being so careful not to make an emotional commitment to anyone, she had fallen hopelessly and completely in love without ever seeing it coming. She wrapped her arms around the sleeping form and nuzzled her face into Janet's soft hair. What the hell was she going to do now?!
Okay, okay, take it easy here, Robbie chastized herself as her heart pounded in her chest. I'll just end it. Walk away, like I have so many times before when things were starting to get serious. Her heart pained at the thought and the tears backed up and over flowed in a steady trickle. My God, I can't leave her!! I can't! Somehow life without Janet and Reb would be unbearable!
So what now? I can't just sleep with this one and walk away. I don't want her to think that this is a conquest and nothing more. I want some sort of commitment. I'd go mad if I thought she slept with stupid Bill Perkins! Or anyone else for that matter! The laws in Ontario had been recently changed. She could ask Janet to marry her in a civil service. She could legal adopt Reb then. No. That was impossible not after...
Well, at least she could do the honourable thing and be honest with Janet about how she felt. Not completely honest of course, she could never burden Janet with the complete truth but as honest as she could be at least. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she would tell her. It was important that before she has this surgery that she know that I love her. The emotional pain this time brought a groan to Robbie's lips. Please God, don't take Janet. Please, she is all I've got, Robbie begged holding the sleeping woman close and crying in the darkness of the night.
Janet returned to the livingroom after putting Reb down for her afternoon nap. It had been a beautiful Thanksgiving Saturday. She had woke in Robbie's arms her body nestled into a chair made by the curve of the taller woman's body. They had made love yet again and after a late breakfast on the porch the three of them had gone for a long walk and picked wild blueberries on the sun warmed granite rocks at the western end of Long Lake. They had a picnic lunch there under the blaze of fall colour. Later, they walked back hand in hand along the old, abandoned logging road that ran to the south of the lake.
Through the picture window, Janet could see Robbie sitting on the porch rail looking out over the lake. Her arms were hooked around one leg that was bent up on the rail. The other long leg hung down. In her corded, Scottish wool sweater, she looked every inch the star. Robbie Williams in lights. It was hard to believe that this was the same woman who had given her so much pleasure last night and again this morning. I'm sleeping with THE Robbie Williams, she told herself, but in her heart, in that special place that was filled with love for this remarkable woman, she knew that this was just her Robbie. She was a complex and super private person who was so caring and honourable in her own vulnerable and stiff way. I love you Robbie, she whispered and then hid that knowledge deep before stepping out on the porch.
Robbie stood up and met her. Wrapping her in her arms and burying her face in Janet's hair. "Hmmm, you smell of summer heat and fresh herbs."
Janet laughed. "And Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo! Reb and I share." Too her surprise, Robbie bent and lifted her up into her arms. Eyes locked and Janet fell into the kiss, reveling in being so free and at easy with the powerful woman. If people could only know Robbie as I do, she thought again and then was surprised by the sudden dart of jealousy. No, she didn't want to share! She just wanted Robbie to herself forever! Tears had to be blinked back quickly. It was never going to be. To Robbie, she was just one more conquest.
"Hmmm, that's nice," whispered Janet.
"Yeah, it is." Robbie carried Janet over and placed her on the swing seat. Then she sat down beside her and placed her elbows on her knees looking down at the floor. Janet felt the lump forming in her throat and steeled herself. Here comes the famous Williams brush off.
"Ahhhh, I guess you realize that.... I..I...I like you."
"I hope so Robbie. I am very fond of you."
"Fond. Ahhhh, good. Ahhhh," Robbie stopped to lean forward and pick up a red maple leaf that had drifted to the porch. She ran it nervously through her fingers. "Janet, I need you to know that there was a time in my life when I was very confused and I did things....well that lay heavily on my shoulders now."
Robbie steeled herself and forced her eyes to look up into Janet's. "Bad things. Things that I don't think you could ever forgive me for."
Janet sat and let Robbie say what she had to say without interruption. This was not what she had expected.
"Ahhh, about us..." Okay, now we are on familiar ground Janet thought. I wonder if she uses the excuse about her evil past as a way out of all her relationships?
Go on Robbie, just say it! Tell her that you love her!
"It's okay Robbie. I was using you too," Janet cut in. Robbie hid what felt like a mortal wound behind a face devoid of expression. "I needed to be loved. I needed you to know me as...as the woman I am now. That sounds awful callus. It wasn't quite that scheming. I am attracted to you Robbie. At another time, I probably would have wanted to know you a lot better before we.... but I might not have much time and...."
Robbie smiled, "Hey, its okay. Just as long as we both know where we are coming from, huh. Friends and occasional lovers, okay?"
Janet smiled too although the light had not reached either woman's eyes and the air was filled with stress. "Okay," Janet got out, her lip trembling with the pain she was holding inside.
Robbie scooped her into her arms immediately. "Shhhh, hey, its okay. There is nothing you can't handle sweet-one. Shhhh, I'm here, I'll always be here for you....friend."
"Oh, Robbie!" Janet sobbed, "Hold me. Hold me!"
They sat there until Reb's howl of protest from her crib, sent them inside. Janet curled in Robbie's lap. Robbie's bleak face staring out across the lake over Janet's sobbing shoulder.
It was after a dinner strained with fake happiness that Robbie's bleeper went off. She got up from the couch where she had been reading to Reb and went to the window snapping open her phone.
"Robbie, it's Gwen. I've had a call from London. There's been another incident."
Robbie stiffened and turned away from where Janet and Reb were playing. Janet saw the gesture and picked Reb up and disappeared down the hall. Robbie sighed. "What happened?"
"A fight."
Robbie's stomach turned over. "Is Ryan all right?"
"Yes, but the other guy's got a broken arm."
"Shit! Contact my law firm and have them send down their detective, Polinski. He handled the last case really well. We can't afford a law suit or criminal charges. Tell him, what ever it costs just make sure that this whole thing goes away, okay?"
"Sure, Robbie."
"And thanks...thanks Gwen."
Gwen's voice softened. "I'll make sure everything is okay, Robbie, don't worry. You okay, there?"
"Yeah, fine. As well as can be expected. We'll be heading down to T.O. on Monday and after the operation on Tuesday, I'll try to get things back on schedule. How is Brian?"
"Eating Tums like breath candies. Ernie sends his love and hopes to see you in hell and Tracy said she would quit the movie except her Robbie is such a sex machine."
"If you tell a soul that Gwen, I'll have to kill you."
"Bring a gun when you come, Robbie, its all over the office! See you Wednesday. And don't worry, okay?"
"Thanks, Gwen, good bye."
"Bye."
Robbie found her two girls playing blocks on the floor in the nursery. "Everything okay? asked Janet reaching up to take Robbie's hand and tugging her down to sit beside her. It was written all over Robbie's face that something was wrong.
"Yeah, everything will be okay, just some unfinished business that needed immediate attention, that's all."
Janet rubbed Robbie's arm. " Being here takes you away from important things. I'm so sorry."
Robbie gave Janet's hand a squeeze. "Right at the moment, there is nothing more important than you."
Janet's sudden smile took some of the pain from Robbie's soul.
Autumn Winds Part 6 By Anne Azel
Disclaimer: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are the property of Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended.
My thanks to the readers who have been so kind in showing their appreciation of these stories. You are a great bunch!
Warning: This story is alternative fiction, please do not read on if you are under age or if such material is illegal in your end of the swamp.
Once Reb was washed and changed they got ready to go to the Community Centre Thanksgiving Dinner. "Robbie, are you sure you are all right with this?" worried Janet.
Robbie's head popped around the corner of the closet. "I'm fine with it. I was born famous. I don't know a life when there hasn't been a camera to smile at or someone who wanted to shake my hand. You might find it hard though. It is a real loss of personal freedom and space. Wear your tan sweater with the navy trim, okay."
"Oh, do you like that one?" asked Janet feeling the warmth of a compliment spreading through her system.
"Yeah, it's okay. I'm just working out the costumes and staging here," muttered Robbie pulling navy socks from a drawer.
"What?! Robbie this is just a community dinner for God's sakes!"
Robbie stopped and turned serious eyes on Janet. " No, for a Williams, for anyone famous, it can never be JUST a community dinner. It is a performance. We are there not to enjoy ourselves but to make other people's evening more eventful. There will be record crowds tonight. You can count on it. We'll go a bit early so the first sitting sees us arrive and we'll leave a bit late to say hello to the third sitting. If we are lucky in between we'll have a good time."
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