"The police have made a statement, too. They released pictures of the cave with Gillery's stockpile of illegal hides and ivory, and they announced that the bullet that killed Hector was from Gillery's rifle and at very close range. The boy who survived gave the press some long story about Hector really being Shaka and that he would rise again from the dead some day in a new form." There was no response. "Danny, are you there?"
"How long was I asleep? Shit."
"Are you angry at me?"
"Dear God, no. When I get my sleep-soaked mind around all this I think I'm going to realize that you really pulled a rabbit out of a hat for all of us."
"It should make things easier for Fortune. I mean, Hector truly did save my life."
"Yeah, yeah, there's no point going into the details over the phone. I'm on the way there to see you."
"Be careful. There's still some high emotion over this, and you're the center of it all."
"I will." Danny labored to find adequate words. "Thanks. I owe you one." It was the best she could come up with.
There was a moment of silence on the other end. "That's okay. That's what friends are for."
Danny hung up and swore. / could kick myself for falling asleep and not being therefor Laurie. And why the hell didn't I tell her I love her?
Danny had kissed her and told her she loved her yesterday as she lay bleeding. Now that the danger and emotion were over, Danny was back in the closet, playing the role of the good friend. Damn me all to hell. Why can I be so goddamn brave about everything else and so weak and ashamed about being gay?
* * *
Danny arrived at the hospital a short while later. She peered guiltily from behind a large flower arrangement. "Hi," she said to the woman beside Laurie.
"Danny, this is Mrs. Wilson."
"Hello, dear. It's a pleasure to meet you. One does hear so much about the Agia family. And you're so nice a young lady. Wait until I tell them down at the bridge club that I met you."
"Urn, well, thanks. I'll just go say hi to..."
"Of course, dear. Now you pull the curtain across so you have some privacy with your friend. I won't mind at all. I'm going to put on my ear phones and listen to the TV. I asked my great nephew to tape the news. Fancy me being in the same ward with someone giving a TV interview. My, young girls these days do have adventures. Of course, I think that pioneer spirit must be in us all waiting to come out. Blood will tell."
Danny smiled weakly and pulled the curtain across. "Hi. I brought you these." Danny whispered
"Put the flowers down on the table, could you? They're lovely. You remembered after all these years how much I loved orchids."
"Yes. But tell me, how are you doing?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Are you going to kiss me again and tell me you love me, or are you going to pretend it never happened?"
Danny hesitated only a second and then leaned over the metal rail and kissed Laurie softly on the lips. "I love you," she whispered.
"Good, because I love you too," Laurie responded. "All of my life, I've loved you." She clung to Danny's hand.
Danny licked her lips. She liked the taste of Laurie. She liked the way things were going. "You really scared the hell out of me. I didn't know how badly you were hurt. There was a lot of blood."
Danny turned pale. Laurie squeezed her hand.
"I'm sorry, love. The doctor said I was lucky the bullet hadn't entered my chest. He said you and the ranger did a fine job applying first aid.
"You saved my life, Laurie."
Laurie lifted Danny's hand to kiss her fingers. "You're worth it. The doctor said I can leave tomorrow as long as there's someone to keep an eye on me. Any chance you're still free?"
"Sure I am." Danny smiled.
Laurie was released from the hospital the following day and spent the next few weeks staying at the hotel suite Danny had booked them. Danny showered her with flowers, attention, and affection in the safe confines of their room.
They took small outings each day, and although Danny had been caring, she was still very formal with Laurie in public. They hadn't slept together, either. Laurie's chest was very tender, and any movement of the bed caused her pain. Danny had moved the bedside table that was between the two beds and pushed her bed next to Laurie's so they could be close.
During the day, Danny came and went. She had several meetings with her lawyers and investigating officers. She flew to and from Cape Town several times to provide a pension and medical care for the girl that Hector had left behind and to attend Hector's funeral with the Abute family. She still had affairs to see to regarding to the fire.
The investigating police wanted to know why Hector had been seen at the estate on the night of the fire, and Danny did something she had never done before: she lied. She told the police that Hector had come to warn her that he thought Rod Gillery was planning to do her harm because he was feeling the heat of her crackdown on park poaching. The fire was listed as arson by person or persons unknown, but thanks to Danny's input about Hector, Gillery was clearly the man that the police suspected.
Charles Abute knew differently, and questioned Danny on it. "There's no point in hanging dead men," Danny told him. "I'm more concerned with justice for the living."
Charles wasn't comfortable with making a hero out of a brother who he knew was just crazy scum. On the other hand, it gave his father comfort and let him hold his head up with some pride. The story had calmed the waters on the stormy relationship between the whites and blacks in South Africa. The killings had been justified, and Hector was a hero. In the end, the story wasn't that far from the
truth. Hector, for one brief moment in time, had done the right thing at the cost of his life.
* * *
On the Saturday two weeks after Laurie's release from the hospital, Danny slipped into Laurie's bed and woke her with gentle kisses. "Are you okay with this?" Danny asked, nuzzling Laurie's ear.
"No, we should have been doing this to each other for the last decade." Laurie stoked Danny's back. "Danny?"
"Mmm?"
"Take your clothes off."
Danny hesitated barely a second before standing up to drop out of her black silk pajamas and standing naked in front of Laurie.
Laurie eased out of the cotton T-shirt and shorts sleep set that she was wearing. Then Danny was beside her, and they each gasped at the sensation of their two bodies touching skin on skin for the first time.
"I'm not sure what to do," Danny said as she caressed Laurie's throat and shoulders.
"You're doing just fine," Laurie said, stroking her hand up Danny's stomach and feeling her breast. She felt Danny quiver at the touch and respond with rising need. Danny captured Laurie's breasts, teasing them gently with her fingers and tongue, mindful of Laurie's wound. Laurie's body arched with desire. "I need you in me."
"What?"
Laurie grabbed Danny's hand and placed it between her legs. "In me, with your fingers. Please, Danny, 1 need you there."
Danny rolled onto her, spreading her wide. Hesitantly at first and then with passion, she gave Laurie what she needed, riding her with a rhythmic need that had Laurie gasping in short, desperate breaths. Danny felt her come, warm and tight around her fingers, and she felt a rush of pleasure like she had never felt before. Tenderly, she held Laurie, letting the aftershocks tremble through the two of them. "You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"I'm fine. Don't worry. You were wonderful."
Danny kissed Laurie's nipple and smiled smugly.
Laurie laughed and rolled Danny onto her back slowly. "Feeling smug are you? I think I'd rather you feel very, very tired
and satisfied." Laurie studied Danny's face. "But only if you want to, Danny. Only if you want it to be me who takes your virginity. I'll be content and happy with whatever you need to give you peace."
"I want you to do to me what I did to you. I want this with you"
"You're sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Danny's joy was complete as she crossed the emotional barrier to a new world where she was totally free to be herself.
Chapter 16
Later that morning, Danny took Laurie out. They went to the Johannesburg Golf and Country Club. Like the Rand, it was an island of old colonial grace and traditions. They walked around the gardens and swimming pool out to where the older members played lawn bowling, their whites crisp against the green grass. Many members waved to Danny or came over and shook her hand. These people and their families had been friends and neighbours in this closely knit neighbourhood for generations. Some of them still remembered stories of Danny's great-great-grandfather and their own ancestors enduring the hardships of the Great Trek.
Danny kept a respectable distance between her and Laurie, taking her arm only to assist her if they were on uneven ground, the sling on Laurie's arm being an unspoken justification for the action. She did, however, introduce Laurie with pride to those who came up to them. The response was varied, some welcoming Laurie home, others politely greeting a stranger, and others still showing the reserve and stiffness that indicated their disapproval of her father's stand against apartheid.
Laurie found herself divided. The grace, beauty, and old-world manners of the club created a wonderful environment in which to relax, but conversely, this place was a symbol of power, prestige, and snobbery over other human beings. Danny, dressed in a beautiful safari-style suit of beige cotton, looked every inch the image of a true colonial.
They sat beneath a three-hundred-year-old oak on a small patio and were served by black waiters with immaculate manners. They ordered off the menu even though an impressive buffet had been laid out. Black cooks stood by to make omelettes and stir fries on demand. Danny ordered East Indian dishes; Laurie opted for a seafood salad. They talked and enjoyed the sun and breeze on a prefect South African day.
They lingered over the pastry tray that had been placed on their table and sipped coffee while they listened to a quartet play Bach. Danny stirred nervously in her seat. "I know you only have a few more days before your stay here is over. Laurie, I love you, and 1 don't want you to leave. 1 want you to stay here in South Africa and help me rebuild the manor."
"Is that a proposal?"
Danny fiddled with her teaspoon. "I wish it could be. In public, we'd need to be very discreet, but privately, I want you to know that you're the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life."
"Thank you, Danny. That means the world to me, because I love you with all my heart. But I can't live a lie, and I can't leave my father. He needs me. I love South Africa. It will always be the roots of who I am, but I'm a Canadian. That nation took my father and me in when South Africa scorned us. It's the country that believes in and tries to treat all people with human dignity and equality. We sometimes fail, but more often we don't."
She tired to read the reaction on Danny's face, but couldn't.
"According to the United Nations, Toronto is the most culturally diverse city in the world. More than six hundred different cultures live there in peace. Each year, the city hosts a big Carousel of Nations, and everyone celebrates their cultural heritage and their pride in being Canadian. Although some people are still prejudiced against gays in Canada, the laws protect us. Gay people can marry in Canada. Could that happen here?"
"No. But South Africa is changing. We have concerts and performances that celebrate the African heritage of South Africa," Danny said. "Besides, this isn't about politics, it's about us."
Laurie shook her head sadly. "It is all about politics. Whether we're talking about the right to be openly gay without fear or being able to raise a child in an environment untainted by racism."
"A child?" Several heads turned and looked their way. Danny lowered her voice. "How did we end up talking about a child?"
"Because I have one. I want us to raise him as part of a family—our family. That's the sort of commitment I want from my soul mate."
"I see," Danny said as she came to terms with what Laurie was saying. There wasn't going to be a happy ending. Laurie was going to leave.
* * *
Some months later, Laurie wandered with her father along the walking trail in the parkland that ran the length of the Niagara gorge. The autumn leaves were a blaze of reds, oranges, and yellows. They made a crazy patchwork quilt to walk on as they drifted to the ground. The day was cool and crisp, and the sky blue. Laurie felt a restless depression settling on her. John Allen had suggested a walk, so they left their historical home some kilometers outside of the old village of Niagara-on-the-Lake to cross the street and walk back towards Fort George, a reconstructed British garrison from the 1800s.
"Do you want to talk about it, honey?" her father asked.
"About what?"
"About what happened between you and Danny. You love her, don't you?"
Laurie stopped dead in her tracks. "I tried to be the girl you wanted, Dad, but I couldn't. I'm gay, and I've always loved Danny."
He nodded, wrapping his arm around Laurie's shoulder. "I think I've always known too, pet. I could wish it different, but it isn't going to be. I'm glad you gave it a try, though, because I'm happy to have Daniel as my grandson."
Laurie couldn't help but smile as she thought of her son who was at home, playing with some friends under the watchful eye of their housekeeper.
Her father dropped his arm from her shoulder. "It was a good series of stories that you wrote, and I thought a fair view of South Africa today. But I think there's another story you haven't told me completely."
"There's nothing much to say. Yes, we love each other, but we live in different countries and have differing views on being gay. Danny has a lot of unresolved issues because of her religious beliefs and the South African culture." Laurie's voice cracked. "I needed her to be a real partner who isn't ashamed to be with me and my son."
"I wouldn't have thought Danny Agia would be afraid of anything," John said.
"The only thing she's afraid of is her own feelings."
Laurie reflected on all that might have been if only. Life could deal a pretty rough hand at times, that was for sure.
* * *
Danny rubbed her eyes and then forced herself to look back at the computer screen. The time in the bottom corner read 2:45 a.m. She should go to bed, she knew, but she doubted she could sleep. Sleep was an elusive element these days. Not that it was any big deal. She was currently sleeping in the field office on a camp cot beside her desk. She worked herself to exhaustion most days, but when she lay down the memories returned, and sleep was impossible. Little by little, new dreams were replacing the haunting memories. She was working towards change, within herself and in her world, but would it be enough?
There was a soft knock at her door. "Danielle Agia, are you still awake?"
"Come in, Charles. It's not locked."
Charles stuck his head around the door, saw that Danny was still at her desk, and walked in. He settled his tall frame in the visitor's chair. "Woman, you look like something the cat dragged home."
"Thanks." Danny folded her arms. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
"Fortune got up to answer the call of nature and saw your light on over here, so he woke me and the missus up and sent me over here to see what the matter is. I told him what the matter was, but he sent me anyway."
"Meddling old goat. I bet Charm is ready to kill him."
"She told me that if my father isn't back to work by the end of this month, she's most likely going to leave me and take the kids with her." Charles laughed so that Danny would know he was joking. "So how about you turn this light out and go to bed, because I'm getting too old and ugly to find another wife."
"You sound like your father," Danny said. "I just want to finish these accounts."
"I've been doing those accounts for the past three years."
Danny looked down at her hands. "I know, Charles, but I need to keep busy."
"You need to go bring Laurie back here," Charles replied.
Danny sat back in her chair and closed her eyes briefly. "I asked her to come back here. She refused. She doesn't want to live in South Africa because, among other things, it would mean leaving
her father. He's put down roots in Canada, and he runs a very successful winery there."
Charles leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees and stared moodily at the floor. "Love of the land is a powerful love," he said. "When I was younger, I often dreamt of owning my own farm, building it up like this place so I could pass it through my family like your family did."
Danny looked at Charles for a very long time. "Deep within yourself, do you resent the whites who live here they way Hector resented us?"
"It hurts inside. It hurts deep inside. It does in all black Africans, and I'm sure it does in North American Indians, Australian Aborigines, New Zealand Maoris, and so many more. But you can't rewrite history. That doesn't take a country forward, only into chaos. I've got a good job here and security for my wife and kids. I've got no complaints."
"Maybe I can rewrite history."
"What?"
"Most of the Agia businesses can be run just as easily from Canada as they can from here. How would you feel if I were to make you president of Agia wines and an equal partner and owner of the vineyard?"
"What?"
"You're right. Love of a land goes right to your bones, and I do love South Africa. I could never leave it completely. I can't anyway, because I'm not allowed to take money from the country. But there's no reason way I can't live in Canada and come back to South Africa to visit and do business." Danny got to her feet. "Charles, I'm going to Canada to see if I can't buy a share of Allen wines and make Laurie my partner for life. If I achieve that goal, then you and I are going to have to sit down and rewrite some history."
Charles stood and a big grin graced his face. "I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be saying I'm glad you're gay, but this is that day if it means I get a chance to run Agia Wines."
Danny threw her pen at him. "Get out of here, so I can get some sleep. And the first job of the new president and part owner is to change the name of our company to the Abute-Agia Wines."
Chapter 17
Danny cursed and shivered, picking up the pace a bit as she walked down the parkland trail. She had flown to England and then on to Toronto. There, she'd rented a car and driven around the west end of Lake Ontario to Niagara. Following the signs and stopping to ask directions, she had arrived at the Allen's home, a very impressive Georgian stone structure set in hectares of vineyards.
The housekeeper answered the door. "I'm looking for Laurie Allen," Danny explained.
"Why, dear me! You're Danielle Agia, aren't you? Dan has your picture by his bed. Laurie isn't here right now. She and her dad went for a walk down the walking trail. Do you want to come in and wait?"
"No thanks. Which way did they go?"
"Down that way." The housekeeper pointed across the street and to her left. "You won't be able to miss them. They'll have to come back by the same trail. They usually walk down to the Fort and back."
"Thanks," Danny said and hurried off. As she got further along the trail, she wished she'd accepted the invitation to wait. She was freezing. And she had no idea what she was going to say to Laurie and her father when they met.
* * *
Laurie, lost in her thoughts, enjoyed the silent support and companionship of her father at her side.
"Laurie?"
"Mmm?"
"I think you'd better go help that poor woman, because if I'm not mistaken, that's a South African about to succumb to our nice fall chill."
Laurie looked up and saw Danny heading towards them, looking both very cold and very determined.
"Danny!"
Danny waved and strode over to them. She wrapped Laurie in her arms and kissed her. "I love you," she whispered into Laurie's soft hair.
"I love you too, Danny," Laurie whispered back, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
Danny pulled back but kept an arm protectively around Laurie. "Mr. Allen, I love your daughter, and I want to stay here and make a life with her. I'd like to talk to you about the possibility of buying into your business."
For a minute there was silence. John Allen looked at his daughter. Danny hoped he saw the happiness radiating from her. She also hoped he could see and accept that she'd do her best to make Laurie happy for the rest of her life.
"I think something could be arranged. Why don't you two head back up to the house. I need to see to a few things first," he answered diplomatically.
"Thank you, Dad," Laurie sobbed, giving her father a hug before returning to Danny's arms. Mr. Allen walked off. Danny watched him go.
Laurie looked up at Danny. "Are you sure about this, Danny?"
"I couldn't be more sure." Danny kissed Laurie again. They walked back together through the fall leaves.
"Does it get much colder than this?" Danny asked, her teeth chattering.
"A lot, but don't worry, sweetheart, I'll keep you warm."
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