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Chapter Ten
ALICE AND AN “EGG”
Alice saw a white wall in front of her. There was a very large egg on it. For a few minutes Alice stood and looked at the egg. She was very hungry and wanted to eat it, but suddenly it began to grow larger and larger. Alice came nearer and saw that the egg had two eyes and a nose and a mouth.
“Oh, it’s Humpty Dumpty[1],” thought Alice, “I read all about him in a book.” Humpty Dumpty was sitting on the wall.
“I am afraid, he will fall,” thought Alice.
“You look very much like an egg,” she said. “Why do you call me an egg?” he asked. “I don’t like it!”
“I do not say you are an egg, sir, I only say that you look like an egg. And some eggs are very pretty!” She said it because she wanted to be polite.
But Humpty Dumpty was not looking at her. He said: “Some people are silly. They are like babies.”
Alice did not know what to say to this.
“If he is talking to me, why is he looking at the tree and not at me?” she thought.
She laughed and then she began to say to herself:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.
“Don’t stand and talk to yourself,” said Humpty Dumpty and looked at Alice for the first time. “What is your name? And why did you come here?”
“My name is Alice...”
“It’s a stupid name,” said Humpty Dumpty. “What does it mean?”
“Can names be stupid?” asked Alice.
“Oh, yes, they can. My name is not stupid because it means that my face is beautiful. And my body is beautiful. What does your name mean? Nothing!”
“It’s better to speak[2] about something else,” thought Alice.
“Are you not afraid to fall down?” she said. “That wall is so very high.”
“No, I am not afraid,” cried Humpty Dumpty. “The King will send...”
“All his horses and all his men,” Alice finished.
“How do you know about the King’s horses and the King’s men?” said Humpty Dumpty. “I am sure you like to listen at doors and behind trees.”
“I didn’t listen at doors and I didn’t listen behind trees,” said Alice, “it’s in a book. I read it.”
“I think you read about me in the History of England. Now take a good look at me[3]. And don’t forget that I spoke to a king once!”
And Humpty Dumpty grinned from ear to ear. “When he grins,” thought Alice, “I am afraid that the ends of his mouth will meet behind his head. And then I am afraid it will come off[4].”
“Now tell me,” said Humpty Dumpty, “how old are you?”
Alice thought a moment. She counted her years and said:
“I am 7 years and 6 months old.” “7 years and 6 months!” repeated Humpty Dumpty. “Now, if you want to know what I think — don’t grow older! It is nice to be 7 years old.”
Alice did not know what to say, so she said nothing. Then she spoke again. “You have a very beautiful belt,” she began, “or is it a tie? I am sorry...”
She saw that Humpty Dumpty looked very angry. “How can I know,” she thought, “which is his neck and which is his body[5]? He is almost round.”
Humpty Dumpty was very angry. He said nothing for a minute or two. Then he spoke again.
“It’s very bad, when a child doesn’t know a tie from a belt[6].”
“I know it’s very stupid of me[7],” said Alice. “It’s a tie, child, and a very beautiful tie. It’s a present from the King and the Queen. They gave it to me as an un-birthday present[8].” “What is an un-birthday present?” asked Alice. “It’s a present which you get on a day that is not your birthday.”
Alice thought a little. “I like birthday presents better,” she said at last.
“You don’t know what you are talking about!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “How many days are there in a year?”
“365,” said Alice. “And how many birthdays have you?”
“One.”
“And if you take 1 from 365? How much will you have then?” “Then we shall have 364 days.”
“Now you can see, that there are 364 days when you can get un-birthday presents and only one day when you can get birthday presents. That shows that it is better to get un-birthday presents.”
Alice could not say anything to that.
“Now you see,” said Humpty Dumpty again, “that you are not so clever as I am[9]. I am sure,
I can repeat poetry[10] better than you. Sit down and listen to me. I want to repeat a piece of poetry.”
Poor Alice did not want to listen to poetry, but she said politely “Thank you!” and sat down.
[1] Humpty Dumpty — Хампти-Дампти (Шалтай-Болтай); коротенькое толстое существо в виде яйца
[2] It’s (It is) better to speak — Лучше говорить
[3] Now take a good look at me. — Посмотри-ка на меня хорошенько.
[4] it will come off — она (голова) отвалится
[5] which is his neck and which is his body — где у него шея и где туловище
[6] when a child doesn’t know a tie from a belt — когда ребенок не может отличить галстук от пояса
[7] it’s very stupid of me — это очень глупо с моей стороны
[8] as an un-birthday present — подарок не ко дню рождения
[9] you are not so clever as I am — ты глупее меня
[10] repeat poetry — декламировать стихи
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For a minute or two Alice stood and looked at the house. She did not know what to do next. | | | Alice noticed a big tree near her, and there was a door in it. She opened the door and went in. |