The room divider
A Woman is in an apartment bustling around, going left and right, all the while talking to her partner/lover who never appears.
The scene is a one room apartment: we see the center wall in the back of the stage, facing the audience and the two side walls are escaping the stage sideways following exaggerated perspective lines. Two very small windows, one each on the left and right walls, are placed very high up, so small and unreachable that they appear useless.
In the center stage, a small dinner table for one person, with 2 different chairs (like one has been brought as an afterthought, as if to accommodate an unexpected visitor). A tiny kitchen is on the back end of the stage.
On the left, a crude library with 1 meter wide shelves, is very high, and is filled with books. The library reaches the height of the window. (One muses how you grab those books, placed that high: a sense of uselessness again). An easy chair is at the base of the library with a thin, metal, curved, standing lamp (feebly lit) with a lot of books scattered messily on the floor around it. There is also a bathtub (small, old circular tin tub from the 19th century, as seen in the western movies), fitted with a thin metal shower pipe.
On the right-hand side of the stage a wide room divider, min 3 if not 5 panels, is placed in front of a single place bed that is visible for two 3ds of its length to the audience. The audience could think it hides the dressing area, in front of the bed.
Care should be taken that volumes are balanced throughout the stage.
Throughout the play, SHE addresses her partner/lover. We assume he must be behind the room divider. The panels are painted with abstract motives (not figurative) in modern progressive styles/techniques (dripping, automatic, projection, burning). A rough surface/texture must be given with collages, molten metal, nailed or otherwise affixed wood, metal even plastic pieces. (TapiЏs, Anselm Kiefer and the like). In the center panel a series of metal triangles pierce through the surface, several centimeters, pointing towards the public. At the base of several (mainly in the center of the panel), some brownish dark colored liquid has been dripping towards the floor, now dried.
It is early morning.
PROLOGUE
Curtains open. A phone rings. We hear the welcome message from an answering machine (ТHello, we are not available right now, please leave a message at the toneУ), and then we hear the voice of SHE:
SHE: Hello My Love. I am sorry to tell you so late, but I am with Julia and Martha and we have decided to go out together. I hope you do not mind. I will be coming home late. Do not wait for me. I love you. I love you, you know that! ФTil later. Bye!
The curtains close. And reopen. SHE enters the stage wearing an evening party dress and a small rucksack/bag containing dayХs clothing.
SHE: (concerned, worried, apologetic) Hello my love. How are you? I am sorry, so sorry. Will you forgive me? Do you love me?
Un tempo
HE: Of course. I do.
(Taking off her coat, scarf, then walking around the room, putting things in order; busying herself around the table, preparing a drink)
SHE: I am so sorry my loveЙ I am so late! I cannot believe it myself! But I calledЙ I left a messageЙ Й ah! I am sooo sorryЙ (nervously looking towards the room divider) are you angry?
HE: silence
SHE: I would understand, you knowЙ itХs not like me to stay out all night like this Й Please do not be angry with me!
Un tempo
(sitting, putting a blanket or a shale around her) What a dayЙ What a nightЙ
Un tempo
(Looking at one window) ItХs dawn: almost time to prepare and go to the office.
Un tempo
(towards the room divider) Do not worry; I will prepare the coffee, and breakfast.
Un tempo. She is reluctant to move.
(to herself) How to get back to normality after such a night?
Un tempo
Pretend nothing happened?
Un tempo
(rising) Did it really happen? Did anything happen at all?
Un tempo
(she seems in a slightly confused state; maybe itХs guilt. She busies her hands. She obviously tries to suppress whatever it is, behind a screen of normality)
(active again, taking off shoes) You know, it all started at the office, actually. Ah! I do not like my new job. ItХs boring, absolutely not interesting. Placing orders, calling customers, correcting other peopleХs mistakesЙ I really wonder how much longer I will be able to cope. I feel such emptiness. (rhetorically) Do I really need to go to the office today? It isЙ soooЙ DULL! I hate it!
Un tempo
(resigned, pausing at the table) I guess, I need, to go. We need the money donХt we?
HE: silence
SHE: Yes we need the money. Ever since you lost your job.
Un tempo
I know, I know: you didnХt loose your job; you left it so you could come stay with me. My love! I will never thank you enough. I know how difficult it must have been to leave your family, your children, and come here stay with me. But you never found another job, here. ItХs a problem.
Un tempo
Luckily we love each other. So much! We deserve this little nest. I would not have asked you to come here with me if there had been another solution. (pleased with herself) I know what you are thinking! (thoughtful) But all the same, we can be lucky I have this job, and earn this little money I make. Of course itХs not much, is it? But, until you find a job, thatХs what weХll have to live on.
Un tempo
Please understand, I am not blaming you or anything. ItХs just that since I am working so hard to earn the money we need, I need from time to time to change ideas, to get a little time off. You understand that, donХt you?
Un tempo
Besides, you always tell me to go out, to have fun on my own. You know I do not like to go out without you. I want to stay with you. I do not want to leave youЙ Even for an eveningЙ
Un tempo
(yawning, then tired) But I needed it I guessЙ Yes you were right; I need time for myself, from time to time.
(almost angry) ItХs your fault! If you had not pushed me I would not have gone out! I would have come home, as usualЙ and nothing of this would have happened!
(her mouth remains wide open as if she had pronounced something horrific; she brings her fists to cover a shriek that never makes it to be heard)
(With sorrow) I am sorry. So sorry!
Un tempo
(softly) I missed you, you know?
Un tempo
Do you love me?
HE: Of courseЙ
Un tempo
HE: Of course I do.
SHE: You do?
HE: Of course I do.
SHE: You do.
HE: Of course I do.
(she starts undressing to change into the working clothes)
SHE: (renewed confidence, but fragile) Oh! But let me tell you: today at lunch we went for walk with my friend Julia, at the office. Do you remember her?
HE: silence
SHE: she was telling me she had been meeting with this guy, again; you know the colleague from the office she had a crush on. They had dated few months ago, even made love I think, but he then started behaving strangely, avoiding her, and not even responding to her messagesЙ At some point he had told her to stop talking to him, that he needed time. To think! Can you believe it?
Un tempo
What is it with men who always need to think? What is there to think about? Can you tell me?
HE: silent
SHE: Anyways, poor JuliaЙ she was devastated. She had sworn, and sworn over all her tears that she would never talk, even only look at him again.
(With a sigh) And yet she did. Last weekend. Apparently his wife went out of town to her motherЙ so, out of the blue, he called her up. Must have told a convincing story, because she agreed to meet with him, in a park.
(Smiling to herself, bustling more actively around the room)
Interesting: they walked a bit, talked a lot, went to a cafЋ, kissed on a bench, and ended up in her apartment and made love.
Un tempo
Of course! Typical Julia! Now she is in love again, birds are singing and she is all smiling again! Gone is the depression, the tears, the mourningЙ.
Un tempo (stopping and looking concerned, almost anguished)
Why to I talk about mourning? Why do we associate love with death? Love Фtil death. Love to Death. Love of death. Death of loveЙ
Un tempo
(Looking worriedly towards the divider) Do you love me?
HE: Of course I do.
SHE: (reassured, smiling again) And you know, she was in such high spirits, she couldnХt keep to herself! And I felt so restless with the futility of my day at the office that we decided to leave earlier, and go to a restaurant for an early dinner. Martha also joined. Sounded like a plan.
Un tempo
(she caught herself) But there was no plan! I promise you. I did not knowЙ We just went for a dinner thatХs all! I thought I would come home right after that, you knowЙ
Un tempo
I wonder why we go to such dinners anyways: we always end up talking about the same things: relationship, marriage, kids, girls, boysЙ A bit boring, really. These girls just do not know what real love is. Not like us, my love! DonХt you agree?
HE: silent
SHE: Martha, always with her grand ideas about husbands, marriage, the Family: as if she knew anything at all!
Un tempo
And Julia: I do not knowЙ Sometimes I find Julia so childishЙ always ready to fall in love, being desperate at every break up, than falling just as easily, in love againЙ
Un tempo
(thinking) As if it was about falling in love instead of being in love. Instead of living it. How can she change love so easily? Once you are really in love with someone, how can you fall out of love so easily? DoesnХt it mean that the love was maybe not that deep, that serious? DoesnХt she see she is following a pattern, circling from hope to deception, over and over again?
Yes, yes, I know what you are going to say: girls like her are in need of being seduced constantly, of feeling attractive, feeling needed; so it is less about the beloved than it is about herself.
Un tempo
Not like us! We love us so deeply; we care so much about each other!
(smiling again)
You love me, donХt you?
HE: Of course I do.
SHE: Anyways, we had dinner, a few drinks and then decided to go to a place with music. Somehow we did not feel like going home. Again, I am sorry I could not reach you, but I thought you would not mind. I also needed a change of Й
(abrupt pause, fixing her stare somewhere far away, pronouncing in a slow motion, distant, interiorized sort of way)
Йof somethingЙ of somethingЙ you knowЙ
Yes, I need a changeЙ a change ofЙ somethingЙ A change ofЙ. of what? A change of what?
(darkness)
ACT 1
SCENE 1: Each Love is a Refuge
(Dancing music is heard in the distance, the sides of the room are progressively darkened and the light focuses on the middle of the stage where a curtain comes down turning the front stage into a separЋ, adjoining the bar/disco, dancing light effects seen in the background. SHE exits behind the curtain. Few moments later Martha and Julia, dressed for the occasion appear through the curtain, which muffles the music as it closes behind them)
JULIA: (smiling excitedly, looking all around, incessantly) Did you see THAT tall guy in black shirt? He could not stop watching us! And his friend was handsome as well!
MARTHA: (scornful) They were watching you, not me.
JULIA: How could you know which one they were looking at?
Un tempo
(girlish) OK, maybe. Maybe they were looking a bit more at me... What eyes he had!
MARTHA: (self deprecating) Nobody looks at me.
JULIA: (impatient) Stop it Martha! Why are you always so self deprecating?
MARTHA: Because!
Un tempo
(desperate) BecauseЙjust look at me!
JULIA: And?
MARTHA: (almost crying) andЙandЙ look at YOU! With your pretty face, your long hair, andЙ your body! You are soЙ so beautiful, so sexy! Every man is looking at you! Constantly! (with rage) And you do not even NOTICE it!
(Julia looks at Martha, surprised, puzzled)
You behave like a whore! Flirting outrageously with anything that has a penis between legs! How can you? How dare you? You have NO IDEA the gift you were given by nature and youЙ and you justЙ. (She falls apart, crying)
(SHE joins them, through the curtain)
SHE: What is the matter?
JULIA: She is doing her usual Martha again:
(mimicking childishly, high pitch) No one loves me!
SHE: (reproachful): Julia: stop it! ItХs not fair!
(to Martha, an arm around her shoulders): Do not listen to her, Martha.
(SHE motions Julia to leave them alone. Julia leaves through the curtain).
(to Martha) You are beautiful, a very nice person, a GOOD person. ItХs only a matter of time; you will also find your charming prince and live a happy family life.
MARTHA (sobbing): ItХs not true! Nobody is interested in me. I am not as pretty as Julia. It seems itХs the only thing men are looking at: the size of your breast! Soon I will become too old, and I will never have a husband, I will never have children!
SHE: Of course you will! Just have faith and patience.
MARTHA: (aggressive) Oh yeah. ThatХs an easy thing for you to say: you are married, to a very good man, and then you leave him to move in with this other guy! Shame on you!
SHE: (god natured) My husband, a good man? (smiling) Martha: you do not know what you are talking about! After 5 years of marriage, it is just not working any longer; turns out we have totally different interests in life!
MARTHA: ThatХs because you are twisted! He is a good man.
SHE: He can never take a decision, where to go on vacation, what to do in the evenings or on weekends. He can not even move himself to look for a more decent apartment, or for a more interesting job. All he is really interested in is going back to his hometown.
MARTHA: The fact that he has limited professional ambition only shows he places more value on the really important things, like family. He is a good man.
SHE: We have so little in common! He is lazy. He hates going to theaters, to music concerts, to painting exhibitions, even simple strolls in the park: he just isnХt interested in anything I am interested. And he does not even read! All he wants to do is playing on his computer and take care about his plane toys.
Un tempo
You know Martha, it is sad: after 5 years you realize you have nothing to talk about, nothing to share, nothing to grow together.
MARTHA: Ah! Yes, of COURSE! Because SHE needs an intellectual relationship! I really do not understand you: he is handsome, he has a job, he is bringing money home, he doesnХt drink or do drugs and he is not violent: what more could you wish from a man? He is a perfect husband.
SHE: Martha, you do not know what you are talking about.
MARTHA: I do know: he is providing safety security and comfort, and an endurable life on this earth.
SHE: Martha, you are missing the point: I know what love is! I am in love, right now! And it is wonderful! I am fulfilled and happy. We understand each other without needing any words! He loves me like no one loved me before.
Un tempo
(to herself) He understands me.
Un tempo
(pontificating) Love is not only about safety and comfort. One day you will understand this.
MARTHA: You are trying to pontificate about what love is or isnХt? Sorry girl, but if you are making up for yourself an elaborate story to justify your mistakes you are wrong with me. I hate self- righteousness.
SHE: What do you mean?
MARTHA: (pervert) Can I ask you a question?
SHE: Of courseЙ
MARTHA: How were you going along sexually with your husband?
SHE: WellЙ not badЙI supposeЙ Normal, I think.
MARTHA: Then tell me, how could you cheat on him during three years?
SHE: aghast Й
MARTHA: Because if I calculate right, you have been shamelessly cheating on your husband for three years, out of your five years of marriage: and I am not only talking about the cheating: you have been hiding things and lying to him, constantly, at every breath! You had a parallel life, for GodХs sake! For three years!
(mean and teasing) DidnХt have the courage to tell him THAT did you? And how did it feel having sex with your lover in the morning, and then with your husband in the evening?
(angry) How egoistic from you, to sacrifice what could have been a normal, healthy family life in the pursuit of an elusive intellectual satisfaction! Who cares that he does not read books? Tell me what difference does it make? And your theater: do you think it is really useful or even interesting to go to see all your complicated, contorted plays from Camus, Tennessee Williams or Beckett? All they do is twist your brain and leave you completely depressed and confused, thatХs what they do! Unhealthy, I tell you! But of course Madam has Great Expectations! Always looking beyond to what she does not have, instead of appreciating what is under her nose!
(mocking) Wow! Indeed! You DO know about love, of course! I hope you will not mind that I do not follow your example!
Un tempo
(with some melancholic sweetness) What you fail to grasp is that love is about settling, nesting, about the difficult times, the older days. Love has more to do with easing anxiety, providing some certainty, and with a little discipline, predictability.
SHE: (distraught, on the verge of crying) WhatЙ. What is this? Why do you torture me like that?
MARTHA: (on a roll) To start with you should not have cheated on your husband. You should have worked on your relationship with him. Take what was good and build on that; correct and improve what needed to be improved.
Un tempo
Yes, thatХs it: to correct and improve. To adjust!
Un tempo
And once you realize you do not love him, that you do not want to live with him any longer, you should have told him: he did not deserve to be treated like you did. Your husband is a good man, he loves you and did all he could, to the best of his abilities, to treat you well, with respect.
Un tempo
SHE: (sobbing) Martha, I did not have the courage. I am a coward. I wanted toЙ but I did not know how to tell him. (pulling herself together) But you are wrong to say thatЙ
MARTHA: (interrupting without noticing, still on her roll, putting an arm around SHE, looking in the distance, far away) At least he was trying. You did not even try. And you did not give him a chance to make it better. As soon as some difficulty appeared in your marriage, you just ran away. You did not even try. You did not treat him with respect. He deserved at least that: an honest behavior.
SHE: (speechless, she cries)
Darkness
SCENE 2: Each Love is a Prison
Lights come up again. SHE is still recovering from her talk with Martha. Julia enters.
JULIA: You have been crying? What happened? Are you all right?
SHE: ItХs OK... I am all right.
JULIA: Please, tell me! What happened?
SHE: NothingЙ I had a discussion with Martha. She told me I should not have cheated on my husband, that he is a good man, and a perfect husband.
Un tempo
I feel guilty, I do. In a way she is right: I am a coward and I could not tell him. I just could not!
JULIA: My poor little girl, do not listen to Martha: you know how she likes to break up other peopleХs life, just because her own looks so miserable and hopelessly lonely. With all her church stuff, her family values and illusions about marriageЙ AH! Just let her try, she will see what it means to be married. She is living in her own little rosy world.
Un tempo
But how about you, why feel guilty? You knew all along what you were doing, right? You made your choices. I respect that.
SHE: What could I have done differently? I know my husband is not a bad person. I feel very shitty about that. But this is not the same as having to love him!
JULIA: There is no obligation to Love, I guess. You can only give and hope to receive. The question is: did you give?
SHE: We married too quickly. I wanted to leave my parents. He was thereЙ. And he was handsome and caring in the beginning: everything looked like it could work. Our love, I do not know, I think it faded very quickly. After one year, thatХs all it took to actually realizeЙ
JULIA: To realize what?
SHE: That my life with him was going to be absolutely not interesting!
Un tempo
You know there are rare moments in life when you are confronted with a clear choice. You can SEE the choices and their consequences. You can see them like fluorescent paths laid out in front of your feet. I am not talking about pondering, weighing the odds, calculating risks, contemplating the possible future, musing the Тwhat-ifsУ. I am talking about a starry night clear vision of what your life will be if you choose this way, and what it will be if you go this other way.
JULIA: And? When was that?
SHE: That was about two years after my marriage. One year to see him, as he really was, not the image I had of him, the image that I was projecting unto him. Not the hopes and the expectations.
Un tempo
And one year to try to make it work: accommodate to him, to what I thought he wanted from me; to what I thought he wanted me to be.
JULIA: Was it so bad?
SHE: No! I guess many women, like Martha, would have been perfectly happy to fulfill such a role. But thatХs exactly it! It would have been a role. It would not have been me. It wasnХt me.
Un tempo
I tried, for about a year: and it worked, at least for him. He was very happy, and satisfied! But what about ME? This was not ME! It was a part I was playing, it was not ME.
JULIA: (smiling) Ah! I see Martha would have a different point of view on this one!
SHE: Yes of course: but who is cheating most actually, can you tell me? Is it to cheat any less to pretend to be something you are not, to feel things you donХt?
Un tempo
And I quickly realized it was going to be useless: I could not continue pretending to be someone I was not, and my husband was not going to change. He did not SEE, and still does not see any need to change whatsoever. He does not see where there is a problem. He does not even see ME: who I am, what I need, what makes me happy. He has a stereotyped vision of the role of the woman in a family, and of his role as a man in the couple.
JULIA: Bring money home. Make love every second week. Raise children. Go to the Parents once a month.
SHE: Exactly!
JULIA: But that isnХt so bad, is it? Many people are happy this way.
SHE: I guess not, it isnХt so bad: for Martha, maybe for you.
JULIA: So, how did it happen? How did you know this wasnХt for you?
SHE: Something was stirring in me. I could not name it, or even describe it. I was barely conscious of a fundamental uneasiness filling up my inside. I only felt I was soon going to drown into it. I needed a change, something to rescue me before it was too late.
JULIA: And then?
SHE: And then, I met HIM.
Un tempo
Julia: I love him, so much! I can die without him. ItХs a fusional love I cannot explain.
JULIA: But try to explain, please: you never talked much about him. He was always a bit of a secret to us.
SHE: Ah! What to say? He is my father, my lover, my friend, my child, my Pygmalion, my inspiration, my motivation. He means so much to me!
JULIA: What exactly?
SHE: Everything! Compassion, caring, humor; and the cuddliness... Julia, you have no idea how good it is to feel his hands on my skin, his beautiful strong hands, and to cuddle against him as we fall asleep, and even better, to find him next to me when I wake up in the middle of the night... (smiling) And to feel his erection in the morning... He is so homely... So safe.... And when he hugs me, I do not know, it's like the universe stopped expanding, nothing can hurt me, and everything is fine, so absolutely fine, for a few seconds. I could die happily in his embrace: nothing would matter.
JULIA: ComeХ on: you can get a hug and a cuddle from anyone! How different can a hug be?
SHE: Ah! You have no idea! The perfect cuddle is meaningful, embracing, reassuring, warm, exciting, and at the same time, open to possibilities, infinite in time and purpose. ItХs a tide that develops in extreme slow motion: powerful, purposeful, unstoppable. It will never crush you, or hurt you but it will give you its strength and shelter.
JULIA: (laughing) Wow! I never had such a cuddle! But I had ones where I would loose myself intoЙ be swept awayЙ
SHE: ThatХs a different one. In my hug itХs about ME existing: I AM. I do not have to go anywhere. ItХs in ME.
JULIA: I do not understand.
SHE: ItХs the difference between being in a room and wanting to go out the door to find what you are looking for, not knowing what is out there; itХs the difference between that and being in a room and knowing your world is IN the room. There are things outside, but what is essential is in the room.
JULIA: He certainly seems to be very special. (mockingly) Do you mind lending him to me for a while?
SHE: (relaxing) I learned so much with him, you have no idea: all the books, the paintings, and the music Julia... The music! I discovered things I had no clue about!
Un tempo
(introspective) I was wondering through life as blind person: he opened my eyes and then I could see. Nothing in this life seems worthwhile without him.
Un tempo
(becoming dark, all of a sudden) I am afraid.
JULIA: Of what?
SHE: Afraid that he leaves me, that he falls out of love with me, that he leaves to someone else. What will I do then?
JULIA: You know, what you describe is not love: it's a sickness, a dependency, an addiction. Not healthy for you.
SHE: An addiction, yes! What to do, oh! Julia! I am dying!
JULIA: Stop it! You must come to your senses! Be yourself! Do you talk about these things with him? What does he say?
SHE: (smiling wearily) He says I am his Antigone
JULIA: What does it mean?
SHE: (d reamy) I do not know. I am not sure.
Un tempo
Maybe that I should free myself from him. He says that all the time. Fly with my own wings. He encourages me to paint, to read; he always asks me to give my opinion on a topic, on a passage in a book, on a play, on a modern paintingЙ.
Un tempo
(smiling) And he always asks me to tell him my sexual fantasies... But I never tell him... It drives him mad!
JULIA: Why don't you tell him?
SHE: Because!... I do not have fantasies.
JULIA: Cannot be! Either you are lying to yourself or your conscious is burying them deep in your unconscious: there is guilt there, or you are afraid of disappointing him? Of being judged? Exposed and vulnerable?
SHE: I do not know. Can beЙ
JULIA: I think he wants you to be You. The independent You who can think, and make choices. Who can chooses freely her course in life, including to stay with him. Not the dependent you who lives FOR him, through him, who cannot live without him.
Un tempo
Maybe you should put some distance from him. Re-gain some independence. You have to rediscover the You. The You that was there before him and which has grown, a lot yes, grown considerably, with him. There is still this You, which is independent from him. Find it again!
Un tempo
Yes, I think I can understand his reference to Antigone: the fight of free will, the rising against authority. He wants you to refuse to accept Fate and decide your own course. He does not want you to be subdued to him. He wants you free!
He wants to know you are able to continue to be You, even without him.
Un tempo
Do not worship him! Break free!
SHE: But I do not want to break free! I do not want to loose him!
JULIA: You do not have to loose him! You must become free in order to keep him!
(Julia stands up and takes her by the arm)
Enough talking, letХs have some fun! Here, have a drink! It will loosen your spirits.
They have several drinks. Loud music covers the conversation. SHE loosens up. Starts smiling, then laughing. Everyone executes, at random some dancing steps. There is a party atmosphere. Good mood, relaxed and joyful. Several boys come and go: stop next to them, talk to them, drink with them then leave. Lots of laughing.
SHE: (happy, almost shouting to cover the music) I think I am getting drunk!
JULIA: (also shouting to cover the music) So what? Who cares! Oh! Listen to this song! LetХs dance!
They dance, gaily. Three boys have joined them. Excitement, energy and joyfulness exude from the scene. The characters occupy all the space on the stage.
At some point, SHE changes her dress (either by a trick of her dress, or by disappearing shortly behind the curtain) into an ample, vaporous, sheer dress - maybe made of a very large organza fabric piece - possibly oriental in style. She dances while playing the Hollywood Star seductress (Cleopatra?), emphatically, theatrically. She teases, seduces, mesmerizes (but always in a playful, unpretentious way of having fun). She moves from boy to boy and to Julia. Each one, in turn, puts a chain or two unto her: waist, neck, ankle and wrist. The group cheers, applauds and laughs.
The music fades into a slow. SHE drunkenly grabs the nearest boy and starts dancing with him. The man now has his face masked: possibly with a Francis Bacon characterХs mask. Several chains dangle from her body, long enough to drag on the floor. The chains do not get loose; they remain attached to her flesh. The sound of metal chains sweeping the floor and clinking can be heard, mixed with the soft music. Julia and the other two boys leave through the curtain.
The man is now acting very passively. He stares ahead of him and just dangles from his left foot to the right, following the rhythm of the slow music. It is SHE that dances to him. She performs a ТnaughtyУ dance, by curling up to him, rubbing against him, interweaving her legs with his, and caressing his body all over, including explicitly. At one point she turns her back to him bends over, reaching her ankles with her hands and then holding her balance by resting her elbows on a chair rail or a table (legs kept straight at all times). She thrusts her hips backwards towards the man's crotch, mimicking penetration. At all times SHE is in control: she directs the changes in rhythm, searches for he own pleasure, dominates. The man never uses his arms or hands: he dangles from left to right, rhythmically, like an automat. At the end (after a subtle orgasm) SHE sends the man away, rudely, pushing him out of the room, the way you dispose of a toy you got fed up with. It is in this process that most of the chains will have been detached from her flesh, falling off noisily: the point here is to make this clearly noticeable to the audience.
(Darkness)
SCENE 3: Each Person is a Refuge
Martha sits by herself drinking from a glass. A guy enters, looks carefully around looking for something, or for someone. Martha follows him with mild interest
DAVID: Excuse me: have you seen Giovanni?
MARTHA: Giovanni? No. Who is Giovanni?
DAVID: Well.... That depends.
MARTHA: Depends? How can it depend?
DAVID: It depends! What do you think? That we can actually know?
MARTHA: (puzzled)
DAVID: For example: who are you?
MARTHA: I am Martha.
DAVID: That is not enough! There are millions of Marthas in the world, how do I know which Martha you are?
MARTHA: I am the Martha sipping from a glass and sitting in front of you, right now, right here.
DAVID: Ah! We have improved a little, but only infinitesimally little. Now I know where you are and what you are doing, but still I do not know WHO you are!
(he keeps searching around, talks without looking at her) What makes you your Martha versus any other Martha? What motivates this Martha here? What does she expect from life? What compromises is she ready to make to get what she wants? Does she only know why she wants what she wants?
(he is suddenly very close to her, he pauses and looks her straight in her eyes. Slowly, very intensly and purposeful) What is she afraid of?
Martha looks surprised, taken aback, almost afraid.
She then starts talking to David, more and more animatedly, with passion. She talks like she has never talked in her life, a dam that breaks up, powerful, unstoppable, meaningful, and true.
During her talking the music has become louder and we hear nothing of what she says. At the end of her talking the music subdues until a relative silence reigns and the disco music in the background resumes.
MARTHA: So, this is who I am.
DAVID: I see. Now I know which Martha you are.
MARTHA: (mollified, she has exposed her true self to this stranger) If you had to tell a friend, what would you say who this Martha is?
DAVID: I would say you are the bigot Martha who is looking for reassurance and shelter in predictability, codes and rules. You are the Martha who externalizes the love to the idea you make yourself of a husband, of a family. You externalize the responsibility to social institutions, doctors, society circles, and the church. You are the Martha who will never find love because you do not understand that the answer is within you, not outside of you.
Un tempo.
MARTHA: (very softly, peacefully) Nobody ever speaks this way to me.
Un tempo
I feel you have stirred something in me. You understand me.
(recovering, earnest, moved) And who are you?
DAVID: I am David.
MARTHA: Which David?
DAVID: (with a sigh) I am the blinded David, the guilty David who let his Giovanni die; who didn't trust Giovanni's love.
Un tempo
(Martha takes his hand, with empathy)
(sad) Yes, I am the David who refused to open my mind and my soul to GiovanniХs love. Who did not understand it.
Un tempo
(infinitily sad and wise) Because it is so difficult to understand when something TRUE happens in your life. It is so rare, you do not expect it. And when it comes, you are surprised, it seems impossible, surreal. You just canХt believe it. ItХs like dropping an ember in your palm. You do not know how to handle it. You look for the catch.
Un tempo
And then itХs gone. ItХs too late. Lost. And you never can get it back. Never make it right.
Un tempo
And your life becomes miserable.
(summing up his strength, recovering, leaving MarthaХs hand) I am the David who now keeps searching for Giovanni. For a new Giovanni.
Un tempo
To start anew, and, this time, make it right.
Un tempo
Farewell Martha. Free yourself from your own prison! Settle for less than you dream of, explore, discover and accept the reality without prejudice, and you will find more happiness than you thought possible.
MARTHA: (emphatically, unreasonably hopeful) Wait! Will youЙ will you marry me, David?
DAVID: (laughing) Marry you? You are notЙ not theЙ notЙ my type!
MARTHA: (hurt but warmly) ItХs not becaue I do not have a penis between my legs that I cannot give you what you need! I could be very good to you. I can make it right for you.
Un tempo
Besides, you had the sex with Giovanni, but it is not the sex you are feeling guilty about.
Un tempo
I can give you what you are missing. I will receive it and accept it. It does not matter whether I am a man or a wonan, does it?
DAVID: (tempted, then his mind made up) Oh no! I will not marry you!
(turning away) I need to go. Looks like I need to suffer a bit more for my cowardice.
MARTHA: Where are you going?
DAVID: (turning his upper body towards her, then looking around one last time) Not sure. Giovanni isn't here so he must be elsewhere. Maybe at the theater RioЙ
David exits.
SCENE 4: Each Person is a Prison
Julia enters through the curtains, dragged, each arm, by two men. The men wear a mask, possibly of Francis Bacon characters. She laughs. They laugh. Festive disco music starts. The men dance up to her: one in front, one in her back; they caress her while dancing on the joyous music. She let herself be seduced, accepting their nuptial parade of sorts. She is sandwiched, imprisoned between them. After a while the man behind her bends her over, she puts her arms around the neck or the waist of the man in front of her, and he mimics penetration, 4-5 thrusts, then he turns her over and the scene repeats itself, roles inverted, with the other man. After the simulacra of their male orgasm, both men drop her and leave, obviously satisfied. Julia is left alone. She drops on her knees. The music fades into silence. After a few seconds the slow, faint sobbing of Julia can be heard: the fundamental loneliness is hers again.
SHE enters.
SHE: Julia! What happened? You look shaken. Are you all right?
JULIA: (smearing her tears with the back of her hand, tidying her hair behind her ears) YesЙmore or lessЙ yes.
SHE: (doubtful) Mmhhh: I do not knowЙ you lookЙ.
JULIA: I am all right. I guessЙ I am all right.
SHE: (gently) ComeХon. Please: tell me!
JULIA: I do not know how to explain. I feel empty.
SHE: Why?
JULIA: JustЙ because. I feel lonely suddenly. I will never make it.
SHE: Making what?
JULIA: I will never find what I am looking for.
Un tempo
I just do not understand whatХs wrong with me: I even do not know how to describe. Whenever I meet a guy whom I like, and we fall in love, and we stay togetherЙ
(crying sweetly) Even then, I just cannot keep myself from continuing to searchЙ Even if I am happy in a relationship, I cannot refrain from looking: I observe other guys, I ask myself if it would work with that dark haired over at the bar, or the tall one in the metro, or the young one in the shop.
Un tempo
ItХs like I want them all! It is destroying meЙ
SHE: Maybe itХs because you never found everything you needed in any of the men you have been with?
JULIA: I already do not know! I can be very happy with a guy, reallyЙ care about him and I want no other guy actuallyЙ But I cannot control it: my screening radar is always on, constantly! I cannot shut it off. Always weighing odds, pondering, exploring and imagining or even anticipating possibilitiesЙ
Un tempo
Why is it so?
Un tempo
ItХs like every time I have to look for something elseЙ something moreЙ No matter what I have, I look elsewhereЙ As if the WHAT is secondary and the searching, the waiting, the discovering is the main purposeЙ
Un tempo
In fact I do not know WHAT I am looking for. I could not even describe it! Whenever I think I have found the right man, turns out it isnХt!
Un tempo
That, after all, I didnХt know.
Un tempo
She squeezes her hand
Yes, I feel alone. Desperately alone. Irrevocably alone. For eternity. And I do not think there is a cure against that.
SHE hugs Julia. A deep empathy arises from the mute scene.
(darkness)
NOTES
PROLOGUE
SHE comes home after a night out.
We learn of a curious relationship with her lover whom we never see: the monologue conveys an impression of solitude (is she alone? Is there really someone else in the room?). The repetitive, monotonous and mechanical answer ТOf course I doУ may be a sign that she is loosing her mind, maybe a beginning of schizophrenia. We perceive her relationship to the imaginary lover starting as one of worship and apparent submission turning into the beginning of a process of detachment. The money and the responsibilities are used as tools (excuses) for divide and a way to cope with the pain of the process. We see the very early stages of the detachment process. From here it can get back to normal or lead to full emancipation.
The rest of the play is a recount how this fragile moment of awakening has come about: it describes the emancipation of SHE from the love of HIM. More exactly it attempts to describe how the emancipation process starts.
EACH LOVE IS A REFUGE
Martha: finds refuge in her moral values, the church, order and discipline and sacrifice. She finds refuge in her certainties, which make her pontificate and moralize.
SHE gets ТtrappedУ by MarthaХs parochial point of view on marriage. MarthaХs failure in relationships is turned into gratuitous, vicious and malicious nastiness. In her fantasy, Martha takes SHEХs place and revels in playing out what could be for herself.
EACH LOVE IS A PRISON
SHE: finds refuge in the escape (e.g. from her marriage - cowardice) and in intellect (e.g. with her lover). She thinks that knowledge - the Mind - can defeat the Loneliness. Martha shows her the power of Guilt.
Her love for Him is overwhelming and disproportionately dependent (chains). As such this love is a prison of which she must learn to free herself.
She will manage to break some of her chains (notably through Desire), and now we understand that it is a new, but still fragile, SHE that has entered the apartment in the Prologue.
EACH PERSON IS A REFUGE
David finds refuge in his pursuit of redemption, and the suffering the guilt entails. This is something Martha ultimately understands and shares.
Martha sees the possibility of finding refuge in David by proposing to take over DavidХs guilt. But David actually does not seek redemption per se, or he will loose the refuge (the excuse for suffering). David must find refuge in himself, not in someone else.
EACH PERSON IS A PRISON
Julia: refuge in the spontaneous and orgiastic love of Nature, sex, proliferation, multiplication. Julia is trapped by her insecurity, need for recognition and her inability to make choices. ItХs not about making the right choice, but to be sure not to make the wrong choice. Hence she delegates those choices to others. Hence need for multiplicity. It is a way to be easily accepted by others (short term). She is herself a self made prison and she hands her keys to someone else. Desires (sexual and others) cloud the issue for her. She does not make love, she is made love to.
Refusing to commit to a relationship, or to call herself into question, she externalizes criticism and the responsibility of the (potentially wrong) choice. And she can let her desire be.
CONSIDERATIONS
Symbolically, at the end we understand that the curious metal stripes piercing through the room divider are knives and the drips of liquid are probably blood. It is a metaphor guiding the viewer throughout the play, suggesting SHE wants to free herself from the prison which is the Love of HE: SHE has killed her Lover as the ultimate way to acquire her freedom (breaking the last chains). The repetitive ТOf course I doУ are a pre-recorded sentence that plays over and over activated by a mysterious mechanism. The very high shelves filled with books epitomize the uselessness of intellectual knowledge alone. The high windows refer to the difficulty to access freedom, to escape. The apartment is the ТnormalУ life, the prison. The lover is invisible yet its presence can be felt behind the room divider, creating a ТweightУ shift towards that side of the stage (reinforced by the glances and the physical postures of SHE as she addresses HIM). This is why the bathtub and the easy chair and the source of light (lamp) are important on the left hand side of the stage. Of the four characters, SHE is the only one with a chance to make it through: at the cost of guilt, pain, doubt. All others remain imprisoned in their limitations.
BACKGROUND
Nietzsche: Each love is a refuge and a prison. Each Person is a refuge and a prison.
Love cannot be outsourced (the family, the attentive husband, the church). It cannot be found through multiplication (of lovers, of clothes and possessions). And it is not to be found in the books or the intellect (reading and learning helps understand life but not to LIVE it).
The described variations on how love is a refuge for a human being prove ineffective ultimately because each love, besides a refuge, is also a prison.
Love implies attachment, dependency, heaviness (chains).
Once we have abandoned the hope of finding an acceptable refuge in love, we understand the person in itself is also a prison (BEING is a prison).
One must free itself from this prison to acquire a fully independent course of action (purpose, destiny) in life. To rise as a FREE being. Not fate, but deterministic action, will and choice. This is the new Antigone (she doesnХt die, but is reborn).
EARLY NOTES (discarded)
At the disco. They drink. They talk: Martha has a rage against men: profiteers, unfaithful bastards, church, family values etc. Julia (from a conservative background, but wants to break free): agrees, with restraint, but does not stop eyeing the boys on the dance floor. SHE theorizes about Love, free sex, spiritual growth, idealized relationship. Julia and SHE get seduced by two guys. Martha is left alone (she is not pretty). Julia ends up kissing her cavalier, then it is suggested they go making love in a dark corridor or toilets. SHE flirts with the other guy: small kisses (experience) fugitive caresses, in the end before the situation becomes too serious, she leaves him.
They end up in the one room apartment. They drink, talk, dance, kiss etc. SHE drags the man to the bed; they undress partially and start making love on the bed, half hidden by the divider (low light, some noises of love making). After the sex she pushes the guy out of the apartment, violently, brutally. He does not even have the time to fully dress. She throws his pants and shoes at him, through the door as he is thrown out of the apartment. SHE starts crying. Asks forgiveness to HE. And the usual Do you love me? Un tempo. HE: Of course I do.
One scene: SHE has been to an exhibition. She talks about Magritte first (illusion, ontology, symbol vs. Icon etc, then Pollock (chaos theory, quantum mechanics) finally Rothko, (the infinite, universal depth Й death) all in a very theoretical/doctoral/intellectual way.
One scene: she talks about Antigone. Turns into a literary analysis (destiny versus free will, individual versus society (what is acceptable, HE is married and he left his family to go with SHE, that she made him leave to have him to herself), relationship to authority (her relationship to the authority of HE: she appears subdued to him, to his qualities etc but turns out she has imprisoned him and she is the dominating force. She sequestered HE physically to get to his Intellect/moral values.)
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