Kim Pritekel and Alexa Hoffman 15 страница

"Did you know that my parents had another daughter before me and Jodi were born?" I shook my head no. "Yep, Jennifer was going to be her name."

"What happened?" I asked, shocked that Rhonda had never told me.

"She was stillborn. Imagine how thrilled they were when they found out they'd be having twins next." There was a bit of bitterness in her voice. I said nothing. "Yeah, so we come along, and Jodi's one sick little girl." She snorts. "Kid couldn't do anything for herself as a baby."

"What was wrong with her?" I asked, readjusting my head a bit, tucking my body a little closer.

"Well, she had bad allergies from day one, and had to have tubes in her ears. Mom was afraid that they'd lose her like they lost Jennifer, so Jodi became the center of my mother's universe."

I felt the wetness of another tear as it gently splattered against the top of my ear. I felt the tug in my own throat as I saw where this was leading. "I was the healthy kid, so they didn't have to worry about me." Her voice was so filled with pain, the kind of pain that only the cover of dark can light up.

"Oh, Cody," I felt the material beneath the side of my face soak through as my own tears began to saturate the material.

"Yeah, well, when you're a kid you do what you can to get attention. You know, toss the basketball on top of the roof while playing outside, maybe even crash a baseball or Frisbee through the garage window while Jodi is inside getting her medicine and her daily fuss session. Suddenly all that attention that you had tried so hard for doesn't matter. Nope. Now you're just plain pissed off."

Another tear falls on me, like rain, and three more of mine answer.

"They never even asked what was wrong," she whispered, her arms tightening around me. "And then when Jake was born, the boy my father had always wanted, Cody gets lost in the crowd." Cody sniffled. I sat, waiting for her to continue, but she said nothing.

Slowly pulling away from her, I needed to see her eyes, needed for her to see that I was here for her. I brought a hand up, wiping away another tear with my thumb.

"I'm so sorry, Cody," I said, my voice as quiet as hers had been moments before. She looked like such a child, so lost and alone. "You deserve so much better. You are one of the most amazing people I've ever known, so smart and talented, fun." I smile, my hand sliding down to cup her cheek. "You are noticed. I promise." She stared at me, her eyes burning into mine, intense and powerful.

As I stared, I felt so drawn to her, like we could save each other.

My hand still resting against her face, my thumb began to gently rub the soft skin, still slightly damp from the trail of tears.

Cody's eyes left mine, freeing mine to wander, wander down her face to her lips, barely parted as she breathed through her mouth. I felt myself lean forward just a bit, the old wooden bed frame creaking with the slight movement.

My tongue snaked out, quickly sliding across my own lips, dry from my crying. I can feel breath against my face, warm, quick.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

Completely startled, I nearly fell off the bed as I looked around to see what the hell that noise was.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

Cody reached a hand out, smacking the clock on the side table.

"The alarm," she said sheepishly. I look around, realizing that the sun was beginning to come up. It was six o'clock. Cody had to be at work by eight, and had to allow time to board home and get ready.

"Oh," I struggle to my feet, taking a deep breath to steady my beating heart.

"You okay?" she asked. I looked at her, her eyes looking into mine. "Your leg and all."

"Oh, yeah, fine. Want anything to eat?" I asked as I finally got to my feet, and back away from the bed. She shook her head.

"No. I'll steal one of the bagels Keith keeps in his office."

"Does he know you know about those?" She shook her head with an evil grin. I shake my head. "You're bad, Cody. So bad."

"So they say."

I look at her for a moment, not sure what to say. Needing to escape, I make my way out of her room as quickly as my cast will allow.

Once outside in the hall, her door closed behind me, I lean against the wall, my eyes closed. Oh my god. What almost happened?

* * *

Keith and I had a lunch date, and as I got myself ready, my thoughts shot back to the night before, and ultimately early this morning.

How had I been so utterly blind to Cody, and what she had done and tried, and how she felt? God, I must have just gone off, half cocked, not paying a lick of attention. No, I did not like drugs and had never done them, but who was I to judge and damn those who had?

It amazed me how a young girl could make me see the error of my ways and make me try to open my thoughts a little more, and not be so narrow-minded.

And then later in her room.

As I combed my hair after my bath, I stared at my reflection, my eyes droopy from lack of sleep, even though I'd taken a nap earlier in the day.

But, how about what had almost happened? Almost happened, nothing almost happened. Emotions were extremely high, Cody was upset, and by proxy I was upset, and I just felt the need to comfort her as best I could, and perhaps some part of me needed to be comforted as well.

I sighed. Should I give her some space from me? Give myself some space from the situation? Maybe that would be good, just to back off a little bit, give us both some good breathing room. Yeah, that's a good idea.

Keith picked me up, and we headed out. Just like old times. I had missed him immensely. Not so much as a boyfriend, but definitely as a friend. Now his time was effectively taken up with the gallery getting busier and preparing for art shows, and with his new lover, Ben, who I had yet to meet.

"Are you sure?" he asked as we drove to Tristan's. It made me so sad; whenever we'd go to the trendy restaurant, it was usually to four of us, Keith and I, and Rand and Pete. But now, it just wasn't the same.

"Of course I'm sure, Keith. Come on, this guy is really important to you. Why wouldn't I want to meet him?"

"Well," he shrugged. "He's kind of the reason we, you know,"

"Broke up?"

"Well, yeah." He glanced over at me, concern on his face. I reached over and squeezed his thigh.

"Keith, I'm a big girl, and really am fine. You don't need to try and protect me." He smiled over at me, taking my hand in his much larger one, and squeezing.

"I love you, Brooke."

"I love you, too, you nut."

Once we reached the restaurant and were seated, a question popped into my mind, taking me completely by surprise.

"What's up?" my always intuitive and observant ex asked.

"Well," I said, picking at my salad, trying to formulate the words in my mind, and trying to find their origin. "Have you ever wanted to kiss or actually kissed someone that seemed like an anomaly from your normal choices, or group, or whatever?" I looked deeply into his understanding blue eyes. He smiled, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, gee. Love is in the air," he began to sing. I was confused. "Someone just asked me something along those lines just this morning."

"Oh." I smiled, embarrassed that I had even asked such a stupid question.

"And, yes. I know what you mean, and no, there's nothing wrong with it." I studied his sincere face, wishing that his answer had made me feel better.

* * *

I flipped through the channels, blindly switching from Dr. Phil to Oprah to Montel Williams to Trading Spaces, none of them keeping my attention. No sir, I was thinking about what I had started dubbing that night. Cody and I hadn't spoken much since then, and hadn't seen each other at all. So now I had to wonder a few things:

First of all, what will happen with our friendship? I felt that I was starting to make some headway with her, and then this, whatever this is, happens. For not the first time I wonder what would have happened had it actually happened, had our lips touched. Would I have freaked out? Would she have, for that matter? I know that's where it was leading. She had been so close to me. I think I could have counted her pores. Not that she had any.

Ding dong

Shaken from my thought pattern, which I imagine is not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all, I yell, "Just a minute!" as I push myself up with a grunt, and open the front door to see a smiling Rhonda standing on my porch.

"Hey, sweetie!" She grabbed me in a hug, nearly knocking me off my stump, and then held me at arms length. "Oh, you're walking! How wonderful. Come on, let's sit and get caught up." She put her hand on my lower back and pushed me toward the couch.

A huge pang of guilt washed over me, and I have no idea why. I have been nothing but a friend and mutual crush amongst her children.

Oh, god, strike me dead now!

"So, are you excited to get back to work?" Rhonda asked, slipping her high heels off, and rubbing one of her feet. Shoes are off, she plans to stay for a bit.

"Actually, I'm beside myself in my excitement. I'm about to go nuts here at home." I smiled, counting the hours until I can get out of here.

"And you have transportation all worked out?" she asked, genuine concern filling her eyes, so much like Jodi's. I nod.

"Yep. Kristine has offered to take me to and from since we don't live too terribly far apart, and generally go in around the same time, anyway."

"Wonderful." She grabbed my hands, squeezing them. "But, if you come up against some sort of snag, feel free to call. You know I'll come get your butt and sweep you off to work."

"Thanks. I may need that from time to time." I ran a hand through my hair nervously. "So, how is the Thomlin clan?"

"Couldn't be better. Jakey is about to start preschool, and Tom got another contract with the airport," Ron gushed.

"And, the twins?" Yes, I am shameless, using my boss to fish for information on how Cody is doing.

"Well, the little rebel is actually doing wonderful, working for that friend of yours."

"Ron," I said, my finger waggling at her. Ever since Keith had broken up with me, she had started calling him "that friend of yours." She was so angry at him, and just couldn't understand his leaving me for a man.

"Anyway, she's doing great. Now Jodi," Dark brows, lined with gray, drew to from a furrow between her eyes. "She's not telling me something, and it's about to drive me bonkers."

"Not telling you something? What do you mean?"

"I mean that something's going on in that girl's life, and she won't talk to me about it." She looked at me with pained eyes. "She's never withheld anything from me, Brooklyn. I don't understand it." She shook her head with a sigh. " You know," she laughed lightly, "If anyone could get that out of her, I bet it's you."

I nearly choked on my tongue as I had an idea what the problem was. God, I hoped I was wrong.

"Well, give her time, Ron. I'm sure it'll all come out in the end." Nice choice of words, hot shot. From what Cody had told me, Tom and Rhonda didn't have a clue that their oldest was a lesbian, and would flip if they did. Well, I knew Ron would flip. I don't think Tom would care, as long as Jodi was happy. No self-respecting ex-hippy from the era of free love could ridicule their child for just that.

"Well," Rhonda finally said, patting my good leg. "I better get so I can get some dinner started. I just wanted to stop by to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine, Ron, really." I began to stand as she did, but she put a hand to my shoulder.

"No, you stay there. I can see myself out." Leaning down, she gently kissed my forehead. "See you Monday, tiger." I smiled at her.

"See you, Ron."

As she headed for the door, she was nearly run over by her daughter.

"Well, Cody!" she exclaimed, holding onto the girl to keep her balance.

"Um, hi," Cody said a bit sheepishly.

"You watch those doors," Ron scolded, kissing her daughter on the cheek, much to the girl's dismay. Rhonda left, and Cody smiled at me.

"Hey. Didn't realize you'd have company."

"Yes, it was a shock to me, too." I grinned. She sat down in the arm chair, looking at me.

"How's the leg?"

"It's handling."

"When do you get the arm brace off?" She adjusted the baseball cap that was placed backward on her head.

"Well, if all goes well, next week."

"That's really great. Excited?" She jiggled the ankle that rested on her knee, her body slouching in the chair.

"Very."

"You one syllable Sue today?" she asked, amusement in her voice. I cocked my head to the side.

"Maybe. Where ya been?"

"Around." She sat up in the chair, arms resting on her spread knees. "You know, I've been thinking."

"Oh, scary."

"Isn't it?"

"So, what have been in these thoughts? Mass carnage and destruction?"

"Nah," she waved off my comment. "That's next week. But I was wondering, when did the doc say you could ride again?" She nodded toward my leg, still incased in plaster. I looked down then away.

"He hasn't." I shyly looked up at her.

"Why not? Have you asked?" I shook my head, not wanting to hear what he had to say, holding off as long as possible before he could tell me that it was a long shot.

"I know what he'll say."

"You think." She was staring at me intently. I was confused. Did she come all this way just to ask me questions and make idle chit chat? "I want to make you a bet, Brooklyn." This caught my attention.

"A bet?"

"Yeah." There was the devil dancing in her blue eyes. "Alright," I drawled slowly. "What are the terms?"

"Well, you decide what happens if you win." She sat back in the chair again, leaning her cheek on her hand, her eyes still firmly on me.

"Okay. Let me think." I sighed as millions of options ran through my head, then I decided to make this profitable for me, but first I had to know what we were betting for. "By the way, Code?"

"Yeah?"

"What is the bet?"

"That you'll ride again."

"Oh." The stakes just went up. "Fine. I win, you have to make me your Spanish rice whenever I ask for it for one month." She raised a brow.

"That's different, but fine."

"And you?" I raised my own brow, almost afraid to hear what she had to say.

"You have to go to Spunkies with me for a night."

Be afraid, Brooklyn. Be very afraid.

"Deal."

Part 10

I sat in the wicker chair, painted black by an overzealous seventeen-year-old Rand, sitting in the corner, picking through a box of "old stuff." Rand was going through her clothes, trying to decide what would be taken to the Goodwill and what would go with her.

"Can you believe they told me I wore too much black?" I looked up, seeing the sparkling dark eyes of my friend as she held up one of her many black suits.

"No, they didn't."

"Sure did."

"Well, golly, I have no idea why they'd say such a thing." I heard her snort before she headed back into the fully stocked walk-in closet. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the large box on my lap. "Hey, are you really planning to save this?" A dark head peeked out from the closet, looking at the squeaky toy in my hand. I squeezed it for good measure.

"Well," She stepped out, walking over to it and taking it in her hands.

"Rand, come on. Dilley has been gone for a really long time, babe."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed, looking at the squeaky bone one last time, then tossing it into the box on her bed that was trash. She headed back toward the closet.

"I'm proud of you," I called after her.

"Fuck off."

I chuckled as I continued to look through the contents, most of the stuff a decade old or older.

"Chewing gum wrapper? Oh, Rand," I toss the Doublemint wrapper aside, and continue on my search to make Rand's move as smooth and as small as possible. A smile broke out across my face as I saw the corner of a very familiar string of pictures buried toward the bottom. Though it was bent and even had a very small scratch at one corner, it still made me want to dig out my own set.

My parents had taken us to Disneyland when we were kids, and Rand and I had crammed ourselves with my folks, my brother not even born yet, into one of those picture booths where the camera clicked off about four or five pictures after you put a dollar into the slot, and then a long slide of small pictures sputtered out of the slot on the side.

I ran my finger over the glossy, somewhat faded pictures, seeing my father holding two fingers up behind my mom's head, her completely unaware. They were smiling, holding Rand and I close. Rand was their second daughter, and my only sister.

"What'cha looking at, champ?" I heard asked softly next to me. I looked up to see my best friend kneeling next to the chair, her gaze on the pictures in my hand. A soft smile filled her entire face, her head slightly cocked to the side. "I remember that day," she said, her voice quiet.

"Me, too."

"Caleb wasn't even born yet," she mused, taking the pictures from my hands.

"Amazing, isn't it?" She nodded.

"Do you still have your set? I had planned to get these blown up and framed."

"Yeah, mine are somewhere. I think I'll have to dig them out." I smiled at her, swallowing the past. "Come on, you. Go finish." She kissed me gently on the temple, then stood, disappearing into the closet once more.

Finally, we got Rand's bedroom finished, the last room in the house. The movers were set to pick up everything today, and head out toward Rand's new home in Washington D.C. Her new boss had already arranged an apartment for her, and all she had to do was fill it.

We stood in the doorway of her basically empty townhouse, both of us looking around. This place was filled with so many memories, just about all of them good. I even saw the stain on the beige colored rug in the corner from that wild party she'd thrown a few years back. It had gotten a bit out of hand.

I smiled at the thought.

"What's are you thinking about, buttercup?" she asked, looking at me.

"The party." My friend also laughed. It had been so raucous that no other explanation was necessary. Just "the party."

"Yeah, wild times. But, hey," She turned me to her, holding me by the shoulders. "Just think of the wild times we'll have in D.C., huh?" She smiled at me, hopeful. I nodded, doing my damndest to keep everything inside. I could tell she was, too.

"Yeah. Another place for me to visit that I've never been."

"Well, that's not hard." She rolled her eyes.

"Fuck you." I punched her, and she smiled, taking me in a long, strong hug.

"God, I'm going to miss you, Brooklyn," she whispered into my ear.

"Me, too." I clung to her, knowing that this was it. We were waiting for Pete to come to take me home, and to take Rand to the airport. "I love you," I said, feeling that lump gaining speed in my throat on its way up to my tear ducts.

"I love you, too, sweetie." She hugged me even tighter to the point of it actually hurting, but I didn't care. I just didn't want her to let go.

"You're all I've got left," I said, feeling the sting of a tear trying to squeeze out of my left eye. She gently pulled away, wiping it away, and shook her head.

"No, sweetie, I'm not. You've got so many people here who love you, and babe, I'm just moving, I'm not gone." She looked intently into my eyes. "Got it?" I nodded, feeling like a child saying goodbye to her mother on the first day of school. "You've even got," she swallowed, "Cody." I smiled, knowing it took a lot for her to say that.

"She'll never be you, Rand. Never."

"I know." She took me in another hug, both of us melting into the other. God, this hurt. I had no idea it would be this hard.

* * *

I laid on the couch bed, staring up at the ceiling, the low moan of the television drowned out by the sound of my own thoughts. Rand had left yesterday, and she had called late last night to let me know she'd made it alright, but that she was tired, and would call in a few days once she got settled in.

So now what? I truly felt as though a huge part of me was missing. I felt the need to just close everyone off, and be by myself for a little bit. I'd already been laying like this for half a day, my appetite gone, flown off to Washington. I was so proud of her, though. This was Rand's dream, what she'd always wanted, what she'd been working toward since she interned at the mayor's office when we were in high school. I could never begrudge her that.

Yet I felt so alone.

The phone had rung a few times, though I had let my voice messaging handle it for me. I didn't want to deal with anyone. I knew I was being really quite stupid, but it was just the way things had to be until I could deal with the loss.

As I groaned, turning over onto my side, the phone rang once again. With a growl, I reached for it, deciding that two days in isolation would have to do. I couldn't shut the world out forever, though I really wanted to.

"Hello?" I muttered into the receiver, flipping back over onto my back, at the protest of my leg, of course. Anything I did was at the protest of my leg. Or my arm. Or my nearly healed ribs, or my -

Stop it, Brooklyn! No pouting!

"So, did you die?"

My brows narrowed at the voice on the other end of the line. "Excuse me?'

"Well, I wondered. Either that, or you decided at the last minute to make yourself look like a carry-on and flew out with Rand."

"Bite me, Cody."

"Well, as tempting as that may be, I just wondered if you were alright. You didn't bother to answer the phone before, or return my calls, so, you know." I could hear the smile in her voice, and I smiled in turn.

"Sorry. I guess I just felt like going AWOL for a while."

"Shit, dude, I do that everyday. Isn't it great?"

"Yes. Can I be you when I grow up?" I said dryly.

"Nah. You'll never exceed the wondrous boundaries that I've managed to concoct for myself."

"So, what, did you swallow a thesaurus for breakfast?"

"Fuck you."

"Guess not." I grinned, sitting up, feeling better now than I had in days. The countdown for Rand's leaving hadn't been easy, either. I had been quiet and moody, with all who know me wondering what the hell had happened. It was sweet though. When I'd gone back to work, Kristine and Rhonda had thrown me a party, complete with a cake and balloons. "Come over."

"Well, I need to ask my mom first, you know, make sure I don't have to do my chores, or anything."

"Okay. Maybe you can ask your mommy if you can stay for dinner and a slumber party." I grinned, enjoying the game. I heard a low chuckle that sent a shiver through my spine.

"Hmm. Tempting," she drawled. "Be there in a bit."

"See you then." Without another word, I heard the click of the other phone, and I turned mine off, used to the abrupt end to our phone conversations.

I tossed the phone aside, and stood, knowing that I had at least forty-five minutes before Cody could either roller blade or skateboard over, so I headed into the bathroom. From lots of trial and error, I had learned how to bathe by myself with the casts on, and hurried to take a bath now. I didn't have the time to soak that I loved, but that was okay.

As I got dressed, I couldn't keep the smile from my face. I always had so much fun with Cody, and it would be a great relief to have some company. I was tired of being alone and wallowing in my sadness.

As I brushed my long hair, having finally come to the decision that I should just cut it off, I heard the popping of Cody's skateboard as she hopped up onto the porch. Within five seconds, knuckles rapped on the wood.

Hobbling over to the door, I unlocked it, and swung it open to see a grinning Cody standing there.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey, you." I took a step back to allow her entry. She leaned her skateboard in its usual place, against the wall by the door, and turned to me.

"What are you feeding me?" she asked, already headed toward the stairs. I knew she was going to take her bra off. This had started once she'd been staying here more and more often, and I guess felt comfortable enough to do it. She said that after a long skate, the sweat made her bra chafe her skin.

While she was upstairs, I headed to the kitchen to see what I had to throw together for the hungry girl - she claimed she was still growing, but I didn't believe it for a minute.

"So, here's my thoughts," I heard said from the door to the kitchen.

"Yes?" I asked as I slapped together a turkey and cheese sandwich, or three.

Дата добавления: 2015-11-04