"I thought that after the festival things would change, that he would tell me that I meant more to him than I had before. I thought he would come around and court me more serious. He didn't."held the cup of water between her knees with one hand as she worked her kerchief in the fingers of her other hand. "I had other boys who wanted to court me, and I didn't want to throw my future away if Richard was never going to come to his senses, so I got it in my head to give him a shove."
"A shove?"nodded. "Besides some of the other boys, Richard's brother, Michael, was always after me, too. I think just because he always was jealous of Richard. At the time I wasn't exactly against the idea of Michael courting me. I didn't know him so well, but he was already making somebody of himself. I thought Richard would never be anything more than a woods guide. Not that that's bad. I'm nobody special, either. Richard loved the woods."smiled. "He still does. If he could. I'm sure he would like nothing more than being a simple woods guide. But he can't. So, what happened, then?"
"Well, I figured that if I kind of made Richard just a bit jealous, maybe he would get down off the fence and make; a move for me. Sometimes men need a shove, my ma always says. So I gave him a good shove."cleared her throat. "I let him catch me kissing Michael. I made sure he saw that I was having a good time of it."drew a deep breath as her eyebrows lifted. Nadine may have grown up with Richard, but she certainly didn't know him.
"He never even got angry at me, or jealous, or anything," Nadine said. "He was still nice to me, and he still watched out for me, but he never came visiting, and he never asked me to go for walks after that. When I tried to talk to him about it, to explain, he just wasn't interested."stared off. "He had that look in his eyes, like he did today. That look that means he just doesn't care. I never knew what it meant until I saw it again, today. I think he really had cared and expected me to show him I cared by being loyal, but I'd betrayed him."dabbed at her lower lids as <he took labored breaths. "Shota told me that Richard was going to marry me, and I was so happy that I just didn't want to believe it when he said it wasn't so. I didn't want to believe that look in his eyes, so I pretended to myself that it didn't mean anything, but it does. It means everything."
"I'm sorry, Nadine," Kahlan said softly.stood and set the tin cup on the side table. Tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped off the side of her jaw. "Forgive me for coming in here like I did. He loves you, not me. He never loved me. I'm happy for you. Mother Confessor; you have a good man who will watch over you and protect you and always be kind. I know he will."stood and took Nadine's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Kahlan. My name is Kahlan."
"Kahlan." Nadine still couldn't meet Kahlan's eyes. "Does he kiss good? I always wondered. When I laid awake in bed, I always wondered." "When you love someone with all your heart, their kisses are always good." "I guess. I never had a good kiss. One [really enjoyed like the ones I've dreamed about, anyway." She smoothed the front of her dress as she made an effort to compose herself. "I wore this because blue is Richard's favorite color. You should know that-blue is his favorite color dress." "I know," Kahlan whispered.pulled her bag closer. "I don't know what I'm thinking, forgetting my profession, while I ramble on about what's over and done." Nadine rummaged around in her bag. bringing out a small piece of a sheep's horn with a cork stopper in the square-cut end. The horn was marked with scratches and circles. She pulled the cork stopper aid dipped in a finger, then lifted it to Cara. Cara backed away. "What do you think you are doing?" "It's an unguent, made from aum, to take away the sting, and comfrey and yarrow to help stop the bleeding so the wound can heal smooth. The cut on your cheek is still oozing. If this doesn't stop the blood, then I have some foxglove, but I think this will do it. It's not only the ingredients but how much of each, my pa says, that's the secret that makes the medicine work." "I don't need it," Cara said.
"You're very pretty. You don't want to end up with a scar, now do you?" "I have many scars. You just can't see them." "Where are they?"scowled, but Nadine didn't back away.
"All right," Cara said at last. "Use your herbs, if it will get you away from me. But I'm not undressing so you can peer at my scars."smiled assurance and then dabbed the brownish paste on Cara's cheek. "This will take away the pain of the cut, but it's going to sting for just a minute, and then it will ease."didn't so much as blink. It must lave surprised Nadine because she paused and looked at Cara's eyes before resuming her work. When she was finished, Nadine replaced the stopper in the horn and placed it back in her bag.glanced around the room. "I've never seen such a beautiful room. Thank you for letting me use it."
"Of course. Do you need anything? Some supplies.. anything?" Nadine shook her head, wiped her nose a last time, and stuffed the kerchief back in the pocket. She remembered the cup, downed the rest of the water, and put it in her bag, too.
"It's a bit of a journey, but I have some silver left. I'll be fine." She rested a hand on her bag as she stared down at her trembling fingers. "I never thought my journey would end like this. I'm going to be the laugh of Hartland, running off after Richard like I did." She swallowed. "What's Pa going to say?" "Did Shota tell him, too, that you were going to marry Richard?" "No. I hadn't met Shota yet."
"What do you mean? I thought she was the one who told you to come here- that you were to marry him."
"Well"-Nadine made a wincing smile-"that wasn't exactly how it happened."
"I see." Kahlan clasped her hands. "Well, exactly how did it happen?" "It will sound silly-like I'm some moonstruck girl of twelve." "Nadine, just tell me."considered a moment before finally sighing. "I suppose it doesn't matter. I started having these, well, I don't know what to call it. I'd see Richard, or rather, I thought I saw Richard. I'd see him out of the comer of my eye, and I'd turn, but he wouldn't be there. Like one day, when I was walking in the woods looking for new shoots, and I saw him standing beside a tree. so I stopped, but he was gone.
"Every time, I knew he needed me. I didn't know how I knew, but I knew. I knew it was important, that he was in trouble of some sort. I never questioned it. "I told my parents that Richard needed me and I had to go help him."
"And they believed you? They had faith in your visions? They simply let you set out?"
"Well, I never quite explained it to them. I just told them that Richard had sent me a message that he needed my help, and I was going to him. I guess that I, well, I might have kind of made them think I knew where I was going."was beginning to see that Nadine didn't explain things to anyone very well. "Then Shota came?"
"No. Then I left. I knew Richard needed me, and so I started out." "Alone? You simply thought to march off and search the entire Midlands for him?"shrugged self-consciously. "It never occurred to me to wonder how I would find him. I knew he needed me, and I felt that it was important, so I left to go to him." She smiled, as if to reassure Kahlan. "I came right to him-straight as an arrow. It all worked out exactly right." Her cheeks flushed. "Except the part about him wanting me, I mean."
"Nadine, had you been having any. strange dreams? Then, or now?" Nadine brushed back a thick strand of hair. "Strange dreams? No, no strange dreams. You know, I mean no stranger than any dreams. Just regular dreams." "What kind of 'regular' dreams do you have?"
"Well, you know, like when you dream that you're little again, and lost in the woods, and none of the trails lead you where you know they should, or like when you dream that you can't find all the right ingredients for a pie, and so you go to a cave and borrow them from a bear that can talk. Things like that. Just dreams. Dreams that you can fly, or breathe underwater. Crazy things. But just dreams. Like I've always had. Nothing different." "Have they changed recently?"
"No. If I remember them, they're the same sort of things." "I see. I guess that all sounds pretty normal."pulled a cloak from her bag. "Well, I guess I'd better get a start. With luck, I'll be home for the spring festival."frowned. "You'll be lucky to make midsummer festival." Nadine laughed. "I should think no. It can't take longer back than here. Just two weeks or so. I only left just after the moon's second quarter; it's not yet full."stared dumbly. "Two weeks." It had to have taken Nadine months to travel all the way from Westland, especially in the winter when she would have had to have started, and especially across the Rang'Shada mountains. "Your horse must have had wings."laughed, then it died out as her smooth brow puckered. "Funny you should mention that. I don't have a horse. I walked." "Walked," Kahlan repeated incredulously.
"Yes. But since I've left, I've had dreams of flying on a horse with wings." Kahlan was having to work at keeping track of the shifting pieces of Nadine's story. She tried to think of how Richard would ask questions. It had made her feel foolish when Richard put words to all the questions she should have asked Marlin, but never thought of. Though he had taken the sting out of it by telling her that she had done the right thing, it still embarrassed her that she had found out next to nothing important from Marlin when she had had her chance.didn't need to know much about questioning people; once she had touched a person with her power, a Confessor simply asked the criminal to confess if they had truly committed the crimes they had been found guilty of, and if the answer was yes-which it always was, except in a couple of rare instances-then to recount the details.was no art to it, and none needed. It was an infallible way of seeing to it that political dissenters weren't falsely accused and found guilty of crimes they didn't commit, simply to have them eliminated through a convenient execution.was determined to do a better job of asking Nadine questions. "When did Shota come to see you? You still haven't told me that part."
"Oh. Well, she didn't exactly come to see me. I came across her up in the mountains. She had a lovely palace, but I never had the chance to go inside. I wasn't there long. I wanted to get to Richard."
"And what did Shota tell you? What were her words? Her exact words?" "Let's see…" Nadine pressed her first finger to her upper lip as she recollected. "She welcomed me. She offered me tea-she said that I had been expected-and had me sit with her. She made Samuel leave my bag when he tried to drag it away, and she told me not to be afraid of him. She asked where I was traveling, and I told her that I was going to my Richard-that he needed me. Then she told me things about Richard, things about his past that I would know about. It astonished me that she would know so much about him, but I thought that she must know him.
"And then she told me things about me that she would have no way of knowing. Like longings and ambitions-being a healer, using my herbs, things like that. That's when I realized she was a mystic. I don't remember her exact words about any of that part.
"She told me that it was true about Richard needing me. She said that we were going to be married. She said that the sky had told her it was so." Nadine looked away from Kahlan's eyes. "I was so happy. I don't think I'd ever been that happy." "The sky. What else?"
"Then she said that she didn't want to delay my journey to Richard. She said the wind hunts him-whatever that means-and that I was right that he needed me, and I should hurry and be on my way. She wished me luck." "That's all? She must have said something else."
"No, that's all." Nadine buttoned her bag closed. "Except she said a prayer for Richard, I think."
"What do you mean? What did she say? Her exact words." "Well, when she turned away, to go back to her palace as I was getting up to leave, I heard her whisper, real solemn-like, 'May the spirits have mercy on his soul.»felt her arms under the white satin sleeves of her dress prickle with gooseflesh. She only remembered to take a breath when she felt her lungs burning for want of air.hoisted her bag. "Well, I've caused you enough grief. I'd best be on my way home."spread her hands. "Look. Nadine, why don't you stay here for a while." Nadine paused with a bewildered look. "Why?"desperately searched for an excuse. "Well, I wouldn't mind hearing stories about Richard when he was growing up. You could tell me about all the trouble he got himself into." She made herself smile encouragement. "I'd really like that."shook her head. "Richard wouldn't want me here. He'll be angry if he comes back and I'm still here. You didn't see the look in his eyes."
"Nadine, Richard isn't going to throw you out on your ear without letting you have a chance to rest up for a few days before you start back. Richard isn't like that. He said 'anything she needs. I think you could use a rest for a few days, more than anything else."shook her head again. "No. You've already been more kind to me than I've a right to expect. You and Richard belong together. You don't need me around.
"But thank you for the offer. I can't believe how kind you are-it's small wonder Richard loves you. Any other woman in your place would've had me shaved bald and sent out of town in the back of a manure wagon."
"Nadine, I'd really like you to stay." Kahlan wet her lips. "Please?" she heard herself add.
"It might cause hard feelings between you and Richard. I don't want to be the cause of that. I'm not that kind of person."
"If it was a problem, I wouldn't have asked. Stay. At least for a few days. All right? You could stay right here in this room you like so much. I'd.. really like you to stay."studied Kahlan's eyes for a long moment. "You really want me to stay? Really?"
"Yes." Kahlan could feel her nails digging into her palms. "Really." "Well, to tell the truth. I'm not in a hurry to go home and confess my foolishness to my parents. All right, then, if you really want me to, I'll stay for a while. Thank you."having important reasons for asking Nadine to stay, Kahlan couldn't help feeling like a moth flying into a flame.8forced a smile. "Good, then. You'll stay. It will be.. nice, to have you stay for a visit. We'll talk, you and I. About Richard. I mean. I'd like to hear your stories about him growing up." She realized she must sound like she was babbling, and made herself stop. Nadine beamed. "I can sleep in the bid?" "Don't be silly. Of course in the bed. Where else?" "I have a blanket, and could sleep on the carpet so as not to-" "No. I won't have it. I've invited you to stay. I want you to feel at home, just like other guests who use this room."giggled. "Then I'd be sleeping on the floor. I sleep on a pallet on the floor in the back room above our shop."
"Well," Kahlan said, "here you will sleep in the bed." Kahlan glanced at Cara before going on. "Later, I'll show you around the palace, if you'd like, but for now, why don't you just unpack some of your things and have a rest while Cara and I go see to some important business." "What business?" Cara asked.woman is as silent as a stone through all this, Kahlan thought, and now she has to ask questions. "Marlin business."
"Lord Rahl told us to stay away from Marlin."
"He's an assassin sent to kill Richard. There are things I need to know." "I want to come, too, then." Nadine said. She looked back and forth between Kahlan and Cara. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill a person, much less Richard. I want to see what such a person looks like. I want to look into his eyes."emphatically shook her head. "It's not something you want to see. We need to question him. and it isn't likely to be pleasant." "Really?" Cara asked, her voice brightening. "Why?" Nadine asked. "What do you mean?"held up a finger. "Enough. I say this for your own good; Marlin is dangerous and I don't want you down there. You are a guest. Please respect my wishes while you are a guest in my home." Nadine studied the floor at her feet. 'Of course. Forgive me." "I will tell the guards that you are a guest, and if you would like anything-to have some of your things washed, a bath. anything-just ask and they will see that someone from the staff helps you. I'll be back after a while and we can have dinner. We'll talk over dinner."turned to her bag on the bed. "Sure. I didn't mean to meddle. I don't want to be in the way." Kahlan hesitantly touched a hand to The back of Nadine's shoulder. "I didn't mean to sound like I was ordering you around. This business with someone trying to hurt Richard just has me on edge, that's all. I'm sorry I nearly bit your head off. You're a guest. Please enjoy our home as your own." Nadine smiled over her shoulder. "I understand. Thanks." She really was a beautiful young woman: attractive figure and face, and an innocent quality, despite what truths Kahlan feared she danced around. Kahlan could easily see why Richard would have beer attracted to her.wondered at what random wisp of fate had matched Richard with her, instead of this one. Whatever the reason, she thanked the good spirits that it was so, and prayed fervently that it would remain so More than anything, Kahlan wanted this perfidious gift from Shota to vanish. She wanted this tempting, beautiful, dangerous young woman away from Richard, to just send Nadine away. If only she could do so.telling the guards that Nadine was a guest, and once Kahlan and Cara had descended the carpeted stairs at the far end of the hall and were alone on the richly appointed landing, Cara seized Kahlan's arm and spun her around to a halt. "Are you crazy!" "What are you talking about?"gritted her teeth as she leaned closer. "A witch woman sends your man a wedding gift-it's the bride, and you invite her to stay!"rubbed a thumb against the round, polished sphere of ironwood topping the newel post. "I had to. Isn't it obvious?"
"What is obvious to me is that you should have done as the little strumpet suggested; you should have shaved her bald and sent her away in the back of a manure wagon."
"She's a victim in this, too. She is Shota's pawn."
"Her tongue has a distaste for the truth. She still wants your man. If you can't see that in her eyes, then you aren't the wise woman I thought you to be."
"Cara, I trust Richard. I know he loves me. If there's one thing at the core of Richard's way of looking at things, it's trust and loyalty. I know my heart is safe in his hands.
"How would it look if I acted like a jealous woman and sent Nadine away? If I don't show my trust in him, then I'm not honoring his loyalty to me. I can't afford to even appear to betray his trust in me."'s scowl didn't so much as soften. "That bucket won't carry water for me. All that may be true, but that isn't why you asked Nadine to stay. You want to strangle her as much as I do, I can see it in your green eyes."smiled, trying to see herself in the dark, polished ironwood. She could only see a blur of a reflection. "Hard to fool a sister of the Agiel. You're right. I had to ask Nadine to stay because there's something going on, something dangerous. The danger won't simply go away if I make Nadine leave."a gloved hand, Cara wiped a strand of blond hair back from her face. "Dangerous? Like what?"
"Therein lies the problem: I don't know. And don't you dare even think of hurting her. I have to find out what's really going on, and in order to do that I may need Nadine. I don't want to have to go hunting her when I could have kept her at hand and in sight in the beginning.
"Look at it this way. Would it have been the right thing to do to simply send Marlin away when he arrived and announced he wanted to kill Richard? Would that have solved the problem? Why are we keeping him around? To find out what's going on, that's why."wiped at the unguent on her check as if it were a smudge of dirt. "I think you are inviting trouble to your bed."had to blink at the burning sensation in her eye. "I know. Me, too. The obvious thing to do, the thing I ache to do, is to send Nadine away on the fastest horse I can find. But no problem is that easily solved, especially one sent by Shota." "You mean what Shota told Nadine, about the wind hunting Lord Rahl?" "That's part of it. I don't know what it means, but it doesn't sound to me like it's something Shota dreamed up.
"Worse, though, is Shota's prayer: 'May the spirits have mercy on his soul. I don't know what she meant by that, but it terrifies me. That, and that I might be making the biggest mistake of my life.
"But what choice do I have? Two people show up on the same day, one sent to kill him and the other sent to marry him. I don't know which is more dangerous, but I do know that neither can be simple dismissed. If someone is trying to stick a knife in your back, closing your eyes doesn't make you safe."'s face eased from that of a Mord-Sith to the softer features of a woman who understood another woman's fears. I will watch your back. If she crawls into Lord Rahl's bed, I will throw her out before he ever finds her there." Kahlan squeezed Cara's arm. "Thanks. Now, let's get down to the pit." Cara didn't budge. "Lord Rahl said he does not want you down there." "And since when have you started following orders?"
"I always follow his orders. Especially the ones I know he means. He means this one."
"Fine. You can watch over Nadine while I go down there." Cara snatched Kahlan's elbow as she started to turn away. "Lord Rahl does not want you in danger."
"And I don't want him in danger. Cara, I felt a fool when Richard asked me all those questions that we failed to ask Marl in. I want the answers to those questions." "Lord Rahl said he would ask them.
"And he's not going to be back until tomorrow night. What happens in the meantime? What if something is going on and it's too late to stop it by then? What if Richard is killed because we sat on our hands following his orders?
"Richard is afraid for me, and that's keeping him from thinking clearly. Marlin has information about what's going on, and it's foolhardy to let time pass while the danger grows.
"What was it that you said to me, before? Something about hesitation being the end of you? Or the end of those you care about?" Cara's face went slack, but she didn't answer.
"I care about Richard, and I'm not going to risk his life by hesitating. I'm going to get the answers to those questions."smiled at last. "I like your thinking. Mother Confessor. But then, you are a sister of the Agiel. The orders were 'ill-advised, if not foolish. Mord-Sith only follow Lord Rahl's foolish orders when his male pride is at stake, not his life.
"We will go have a little discussion with Marlin, and get the answer to every one of those questions, and more. When Lord Rahl comes back, we will be able to give him the information he needs-if we haven't already ended the threat."popped the palm of her hand against the round newel post. "That's the Cara I know."they went lower in the palace, below the levels with carpets and paneling, down to the narrow, low-ceilinged halls where light came only from lamps, and even lower, where only torches lit the way, the air went from light and spring-fresh to stale, and then to rank with the heavy smell of damp, moldy stone.had walked those confining halls more times than she wished to recall. The pit was where they took confessions of the condemned. She had taken her first there, from a man who had killed his neighbor's daughters after committing unspeakable acts on them. Of course, each of those times she had been accompanied by a wizard. Now, she was going to see a wizard being held there.they had passed out of earshot of a squad of soldiers guarding an intersection with two stairwells, and before they reached the turn that would take them to the pit hall that would be crowded with all the soldiers she had stationed there, Kahlan glanced over. Cara was an attractive woman, but a woman with an air of menace about her as she swept the empty hall with vigilant gazes. "Cara, can I ask you a personal question?clasped her hands behind her back as she strode along. "You are a sister of the Agiel. Ask."
"Before, you told me that hesitation can be the end of you, or those you care about. You were talking about yourself, weren't you?"slowed to a stop. Even in the hissing torchlight, Kahlan could see that her face had paled.
"Now that is truly a personal question."
"You don't have to tell me. I don't mean it to sound like an order, or anything. I was just wondering, woman to woman. You know so much about me, and I hardly know anything about you, except that you are Mord-Sith."
"I wasn't always Mord-Sith," Cara whispered. Her eyes had lost the menace, and she looked like nothing so much a" a frightened little girl. Kahlan could tell that Cara was no longer seeing the empty stone hall.
"I guess that there is no reason not to tell you. As you said, I am not to blame for what was done to me. Others were responsible.
"Every year, in D'Hara, they would select a few girls to be trained as Mord-Sith. It is said that the greatest cruelty is. drawn from those with the kindest hearts. Rewards were paid for the names of gills who fit the requirements. I was an only child, one of the requirements, and of tie right age. The girl, and her parents, are taken, the parents to be murdered in the training of a Mord-Sith. My parents didn't know that our names had been sold to I he hunters."'s face and tone had lost their emotion. She had gone blank, as if she were telling of last year's beet harvest. But her words, if not her tone, carried more than enough emotion.
"My father and I were out back of the house, butchering chickens. When they came, I had no idea what it meant. My father did. He saw them coming down the hill, through the trees. He surprised them. But there were more than he had seen, or could handle, and he had the advantage for only a few moments.
"He screamed at me, 'Cari, the knife! Cari, get the knife! I snatched it up because he said to. He was holding three of the men. My father was big. "He screamed again. 'Cari, stab them! Stab them! Hurry! " Cara looked into Kahlan's eyes. "I just stood there. I hesitated. I didn't want to stab someone. To hurt someone. I just stood there. I couldn't even kill the chickens. He did that part."didn't know if Cara was going to go on. In the dead silence, she decided that if she didn't, the questions would end there. Cara looked away from Kahlan's eyes, staring off into the visions, and then she did go on.
"Someone walked up beside me. I'll never forget it as long as I live. I looked up, and there was this woman, this beautiful woman, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, with blue eyes and blond hair in a long braid. The sunlight coming through the leaves danced in little patches across her red leather outfit.
"She smiled down at me as she took the knife out of my hand. Not a pretty smile, but a smile like a snake. That's what I always called her, in my mind, after that-Snake. When she straightened, she said, 'Isn't that sweet? Little Cari doesn't want to hurt anyone with her knife. That hesitation just made you a Mord-Sith, Cara. It begins.»stood rigid, as if turned to stone. "They kept me in a little room, with little grates in the bottom of the door. I couldn't get out. But the rats could get in. At night, when I finally could stay awake no longer, and fell asleep, the rats would sneak into my empty little room and bite my fingertips, and my toes. 'Snake beat me nearly to death for blocking the grate. Rats like blood. It excites them. "I learned to sleep in a ball, with my hands in fists and tucked in against my belly, where they couldn't get at my fingers. But they could usually get at my toes. I tried taking my shirt off and wrapping it around my bare feet, but then if I didn't sleep on my stomach, they would bite my nipples. Laying bare-chested on the cold stone, with my hands under my stomach, was a torture in itself, but it usually kept me awake longer. If the rats couldn't get a; my toes, they would bite me somewhere else-my ears, or nose, or legs-until I woke with a start and scared them away.
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