The next few days were spent in the Cape Town area. Laurie shopped and Danny scowled good-naturedly. They visited the beautiful botanical gardens and tasted excellent wines at some of the oldest vineyards in Africa.
Laurie enjoyed Danny's friendship and attention. The problem was that Laurie knew how Danny's mind worked. She feared that the more Danny tried to justify her attraction to her, the more guilt she would feel.
On the fifth day, they booked out of their hotel, and Danny drove Laurie home to Stellenbosch. When Danny's ancestors had made the great trek to escape British rule, they had not given up their lands. Nestled in a beautiful valley, shaded by oak trees, Stellenbosch was a quaint university town and the ancestral home of the Marais-Agia family. The oaks had been planted to provide wooden staves for wine barrels, but in the tropical sun of Africa the trees grew too quickly, and the wood was too porous to be used. Instead, they had stood for generations shading the tranquil valley.
Danielle's home was built in a classic Dutch Boer style. It was covered in spotless whitewashed plaster with a thatched roof. The central section's facade rose above the roof line and curved down in a scroll on each side of the massive oak doors. The walls were thick and the windows plain and placed with mathematical precision along each wing. Inside, the floors were made of two-foot wide hardwood boards, the colour of deep honey and shining with years of polishing. The walls were high, and although the trim was simple, it was made from the best woods. Beautiful antique furniture graced each room. Hanging on the walls, interspersed with turn-of-the-century watercolours, were framed pictures of Danny's ancestors, hardworking, faithful, and stern individuals.
They were greeted by Fortune and Charles Abute, first formally, and then with joking and smiles when Laurie embraced each of the men she remembered so well from her childhood. "Mr. Abute, it's so wonderful to see you. Dad sends his love and a bottle
of his best Cabernet, which he brags is as good, or better than anything an Agia can produce," Laurie said.
"How can I prove him wrong when he didn't send me a bottle?" Danny asked.
"He did. It's in my luggage. I thought you'd prefer to do a tasting here."
Danny nodded her approval.
"The Agia wines are second to none," bragged Fortune. Giving Danny a cautious look, he continued. "We Abute see to that."
Danny swatted her manager on the arm. They all laughed and moved out into the shade of the garden to enjoy their tea.
That evening, Laurie sat in a deep leather chair across from the massive mahogany desk where seven generations of the Marais-Agia family had sat. Danny was a commanding figure sitting behind it, looking at ease with the responsibilities of her vast holdings. As well as her vineyards, the Agia name could be found on the letterhead of a shipping company, several mines, and a number of offshore businesses. Danny, like so many of her ancestors, was an astute businessperson.
Danny smelled the Allen Cabernet with interest. She swirled it in her glass and inhaled the bouquet. Laurie discerned a slight acknowledgement of approval when Danny detected the rich scent with its teasing aroma of spicy black currents. Danny held it up to the light to verify the colour. A bright red wine would be green and not worthy of her palette. This one had the telltale brick red of a well-aged wine.
Danny swirled the wine around the glass once more, carefully holding the glass by the stem so the heat of her hand wouldn't raise the temperature of the wine above a comfortable room temperature. She looked for the "legs," or the rivulets of alcohol that ran down the side of the glass. The more legs, the greater the alcohol content. "A 12?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Good."
Laurie watched as Danny tasted the wine, rolling it around her mouth and then spitting it out into the brass container that sat by her desk for that purpose. She leaned back into her seat and let the wine express itself. Laurie knew her father's wine. It had a fruity flavour, reminiscent of black currants with a sweet ghost of apricots. The body was a bit thin perhaps, but not disappointingly so. The aftertaste, that vaporized flavour that remained after the liquid of the
wine had been spat out or swallowed, was exceptional. It had a soft scent of wild mushrooms and ended with a delightfully pepper finish.
Danny spoke. "This wine is exceptional," she said.
"Good," Laurie rushed on, buoyed by Danny's praise. "My father needs you, Danny. He needs someone to take over until Daniel is old enough and experienced enough for the job."
"What?"
"Just think about it, please."
"There's nothing to think about. I'm an African. What would I know about farming in Canada? This is my homeland; it's where I belong. I can't just walk out on everything here to help your father." Danny saw the disappointment in Laurie's eyes. "Look, I'll ask around. I'm sure I can find someone."
"So can my father. It wouldn't be the same." She didn't trust her voice to say anything more on the subject. "It's been a long day, and Charles is going to take me around to see the estate tomorrow while you're at your meeting. I think I'll turn in."
Laurie went to the door.
"Laurie... I'm sorry."
"I understand. Really I do. Good night."
"Good night." For a long time, she sat at her desk staring off into space.
Chapter 6
Peter Beit squirmed as he sat on the ladder-back wooden chair the next morning. "Danielle, we've been disturbed by information about your conduct. We feel... all of us... that perhaps it would be better if you resigned your church office as—"
"Wait a minute," Danny snapped. The twelve elders froze into a tableau. "What charges, and why haven't I been allowed to defend myself?"
Karl Wernher coughed. "Danielle, your own father was known to complain that you, well, played the field."
"Who I date or how many I date is no one's business."
The men looked back and forth at one another. After a moment, a bear of a man at the end of the table spoke. "Saint Paul said that it is better to marry than to burn—"
"Don't quote scripture to me, Otto. I know the scriptures, and if you're implying what I think you are, you'd better back off, because I have never had an affair, and I know you've had several."
"Hey, just a minute!"
"Danielle, that was not called for..."
"Got you, Otto," another elder said.
Beit banged his gavel on the table. "Gentlemen. Danielle, it's best not to lie to this council. Jan Visser here has brought some serious concerns about your morals and values. We all know you dated his son George in Cape Town, and well, George is very sick now and..."
Danielle laughed. She had to or she would have lost control. "Let's call it the way it is, gentlemen, because you seem free to label me with names. Yes, I would go with George to functions when he needed a date. We were childhood friends, and I like him. Friendship is as far as it went; you know that, Jan. You're trying to use me to cover up what you feel is a family scandal. George has AIDS. I'm sure you all know that, although you're far more
reluctant to judge men, it would seem, than a woman." She glowered at the men.
"I don't have AIDS or any other social disease. I have never slept with George Visser or anyone else. George got AIDS from being with black boys in Cape Town, another fact that I'm sure you've all heard rumours about."
"Danielle Agia! You can't come into this room and slander my son," roared Visser, getting to his feet so quickly that his chair toppled backwards to the floor with a crash.
Danny got to her feet slowly. "George is a fine man. The problem is not with him, it's with you. You and all the men who sit here and judge as if you are God. You, who haven't got it within your self-righteous souls to forgive other people's sins while you have no trouble accepting and justifying your own. You will not slander my good name to make it easier for you to live with your own bigotry and hate, Jan Visser. None of you will." She looked from man to man. "If you continue with this course of action, I will take you and the Church to court and make monkeys out of the lot of you."
Danny walked out, relieved to feel the hot African sun warming her cold frame. She drew in a deep breath of the fragrant fresh air and blinked back tears. Her great ancestor had been one of the founding members of this church. She, like all her family before her, had been God-fearing upstanding individuals. How dare they accuse her of having questionable morals for no other reason than she'd chosen not to marry and to run the family business herself? The bastards!
She gripped the steering wheel with white, shaky hands as she drove back towards her estate. She pulled over by a shady brook and tried to bring some order to her thoughts before she went home. In her musings, she heard her own voice, not many days before, telling Laurie that her ways were unnatural and disgusting. She had called her a fucking queer. She felt betrayed. Is that how Laurie felt when she had been put under house arrest?
For one of the very first times in her life, she was unsure as to what she believed in. Maybe it was time to question some previously unshakable beliefs. Ever since the gun incident, she had never questioned the morals and values she'd been taught. Oh, sure, she had spoken up in support of reform, had contributed to the parties that had brought the change about, but always she had remained safely within acceptable norms. She had paid a heavy
price for that respectability. Although content with her life, she was lonely. She had never felt comfortable in her skin. There was the public Danielle and the secret, real Danny buried deep inside.
Now here were the Elders of the Church believing she was a loose temptress who gave their sons AIDS. She wondered how they would have reacted if she had stood up and told them the truth—that she wasn't interested in any of their sons, only their daughters.
* * *
Laurie had had a delightful morning. She and Charles rode across the valley, greeting the farm workers and checking on the crop. The older workers, who remembered Laurie, came and shook her hand in the Zulu manner. Both hands were visible in a sign of friendship, first grasping the hand one way, then another and then back to the first. Laurie had been pleased to find that many of the farmhands who had worked for the Aliens still worked for Danny. She had been touched to see her old home and to find that Charles Abute was now raising his family there.
Their last stop was at a high ridge on the mountainside where the thousands of barrels of wine were aged in oak barrels within caves that maintained a perfect temperature, humidity, and stable foundation. The tasting rooms were beautiful and candlelit and the wines that Charles poured for Laurie to taste were excellent.
Charles excused himself to check on business, and Laurie settled back into a wingback chair within a side cavern to sip a wine that she found particularly good.
When Danny walked in, Laurie put down her glass on the carved oak table and went over to her. "What's the matter?"
"What makes you think anything's the matter?" Danny evaded the question with a forced laugh.
"Because I know your body language, and you're really upset."
"One of the Elders accused me of giving his son AIDS, and the council wanted me to resign my positions within the church."
"That's ludicrous."
"No, it was bigoted and narrow-minded of them. I sorted it out on my drive home, but it's given me a lot to think about." Danny stared at her feet. "I guess I realized I'm no better than they are. I felt free to judge your lifestyle. I'm very sorry, Laurie. I think I need to re-evaluate a lot of things in my life."
Laurie chose to let the subject drop. "Come and show me your private stock. Charles insisted that you would want to have that privilege."
Danny squeezed Laurie's arm affectionately. They spent the rest of the day visiting special spots from their childhood and arrived back to the house in the early evening feeling sun-soaked, relaxed, and marvelously happy.
The next day, they left Stellenbosch and went down to the coast before turning west to follow the shoreline. For miles, they drove past beautiful white sand beaches kissed by the Indian Ocean and completely devoid of development. "These beaches, the weather, the ocean, I can't believe this area hasn't been discovered," Laurie said.
"There are many sharks and the water current is cold," Danny explained practically, and Laurie laughed.
"What?" Danny asked.
"You."
"What about me?'
"You're such a Boer," Laurie said.
Danny gave Laurie's leg a squeeze.
Her hand felt hard and warm against Laurie's bare skin. Danny removed her hand quickly, never knowing the effect that simple touch had had on Laurie.
Chapter 7
Hector scratched his groin area absently as he stood waiting for the train that would take him to the northwestern part of South Africa. He hoped that Rod Gillery knew what he was doing. He didn't trust white people. They said one thing and did another. They were very unpredictable. Danielle Agia you could trust, but that was because she had been partly raised by his father, Fortune Abute, and so she knew right from wrong. His father loved Danielle Agia as if she were his own. More so, Hector thought bitterly, for Fortune had never loved him.
If he and Danielle made babies, they would be great warriors. The spirit of Shaka had told him so. Like him, Danielle had the fire in her belly and the intelligence that makes a great warrior. Perhaps, instead of letting Gillery kill her, he would just lame her and keep her to mate with. With her, he could sire many warriors. Hector was smiling when he boarded the train.
* * *
Danny and Laurie left the flat plain of the coastal region near Cape Town, climbed up into rolling foothills, and then drove on through high, winding, narrow mountain roads through the Four Passes region. The land was steep and rugged, a rocky land from which hardy evergreens clung in stubborn groups on the scrub-covered mountainsides.
Danny surveyed the land with grim pride. Her ancestors, refusing to accept British rule, had packed their family on wagons and trekked over these passes to reach the valleys beyond where they could have self rule. The trek had gone down in South African history as one of the truly amazing feats of mankind. Only an act of faith could have inspired those brave pioneers to carry everything they owned up these narrow, dangerous passes to start again from scratch to build a community that reflected God's Will. They had
endured broken axles and wheels, wagons that had tumbled down mountainsides, cold and hunger, sickness and injury, even death for what they believed. Her whole family had been Boers, with the exception of her great grandfather, a Greek, who had made a small fortune in the Kimberly diamond fields and had, thereby, won the right to marry into one of South Africa's oldest Boer families. The name Agia had lost its Greek roots and had come to be associated with the Boer farmlands beyond the Four Passes.
Tourists like Laurie, Danny knew, saw the passes through other eyes. They stopped at a number of lookouts that afforded magnificent views of the world, miles below. This was some of the most beautiful landscape in the world, and it was totally pristine. How lucky the people of South Africa were to have so much of their beautiful landscape free of modern development.
They had lunch at an inn high up at the top of one of the passes. Danny was in one of her rare talkative moods, chatting on about her vineyards and what had happened to mutual friends from long ago.
Dropping down into the valley country beyond, they entered the Klein Karoo area, once the home of the Khoi and San tribes. They stayed at a small inn, and the next day, drove on to Oudtshoorn, an area that had been settled in 1750 by the Boer pioneers. At first, the fertile valley area had been used for stock farming, but with the demand for ostrich feathers for hats in Europe, the area quickly capitalized on the trade. Farmers became rich almost overnight and built distinctive sandstone mansions that were still standing and were referred to as ostrich feather palaces.
When the fad for large hats garnished with feathers died, the wealth dissipated. The valley farmers once again turned to farming, this time establishing vineyards and mixed farming. Coming over the last ridge and looking down into the fertile, sun-drenched green of the valley below, Danny thought the irregular farms and beautiful manor houses could have easily passed for areas in Burgundy, France rather than Africa.
They drove on, turning now to head southwest, passing through the city of George and arriving in the small coastal town of Knysna in the early afternoon. After a quick lunch, they headed up to the entrance of Knysna Bay. It was narrow and flanked by two high cliffs that were excellent for bird watching and for observing the whales out at sea. Laurie delighted in seeing the colourful sunbirds again after so many years and watching the telltale wakes of the
migrating whales as they broke to the surface for air. Danny delighted in watching Laurie as she scrambled about excitedly.
/ am in love with this woman, I always have been. But to love a member of your own sex is a sin and socially repulsive. Yet I do love her, and I want to make love to her. I won't, though. It would be wrong. I'd disgrace my family's name. Besides, she's been married, has experience, even though she's admitted to never having slept with a woman. I've never slept with anyone, although I've certainly dated lots of men. I'd make a fool of myself. Danny's good mood evaporated as she realized the hopelessness of her situation.
They stayed at a resort, enjoying the rustic atmosphere and fresh sea air off the Indian Ocean. They dined late at a fish braai— an open air barbecue on the beach. The fish was tender and succulent, fresh from the nets of the fishing vessels that had returned to the harbour that evening.
Later that evening, Laurie worked on her notes, stopping now and again to share with Danny some of her observations and remembrances. Danny went through the motions of reading a book. She'd drunk too much wine at the inn's beach party while she brooded over her situation with Laurie.
The following day, they went to Port Elizabeth, making a reservation at the hotel before heading to the northwest to the Addo Elephant National Park. They drove through the dry brushlands, stopping at the shallow, muddy water holes looking for animals. They saw ostrich, and a number of grazing animals such as the red hartebeest, duiker, and Burchell zebras. They even saw a family of warthogs, their ugly appearance made comical by the way they ran in fright with their tails sticking straight in the air.
Their patience was rewarded when they dropped down to the Janwalpan water hole and found a massive bull elephant guarding his herd. The animals towered over their vehicle.
They watched for some time; Laurie hung out the window taking pictures. When the herd moved on, Laurie impulsively leaned across the seat and hugged Danny.
"Oh, Danny! I'd forgotten how magnificent and huge they are in the wild! Oh, sorry, I mean, I shouldn't have..." Laurie tried to pull away, but Danny's arms held her close. Danny looked at her with eyes burning with desire.
Slowly Danny lowered her head and their lips touched in a soft caress. Danny went back for more, deepening the kiss and demanding entry into Laurie's mouth. Their tongues curled and
stroked each other, tasting for the first time their inner beings. They broke the kiss and then resumed it again with the same intensity. When they finally parted, Laurie buried her head into Danny's shoulder and held on tightly.
Danny stared blankly over the African plain. She hadn't wanted that to happen. She wasn't sure how it had. It had been wonderful. She cleared her dry throat. "I guess you realize now, I have unnatural feelings for you, too."
"It's not unnatural. Nothing this good could be unnatural."
"I hadn't meant to act on my feelings. We can't... I mean, it would be a sin."
"Shut up, Danny."
They held each other until a jeep came down the hill in a cloud of dust.
Danny pulled free from the embrace and put the Land Rover in gear. "We'd better get moving."
Laurie unfolded their park map as if nothing had transpired and Danny followed her directions to the next water hole.
* * *
Their dinner conversation at the beautiful hotel overlooking the promenade and the Indian Ocean was stilted; they didn't linger over coffee. Back in their room, Danny claimed she had business to see to and would return later.
"No," Laurie said.
"No?" Danny asked.
"No, you are not going to take off and avoid this situation. We need to talk about our feelings for one another."
"I don't want to."
"Yes, you do," Laurie said. "It's gnawing at both of us, and it needs to come out in the open."
"How more out in the open could it get?" Danny sat on the edge of the bed. "Whoever was in that jeep almost caught us."
Laurie put her hands on her hips. "Danielle Agia, I never took you for a coward."
"I'm not a coward."
"Yes, you are. You're afraid to admit even to yourself that you're gay."
"I've always been aware of my unnatural feelings. Even when I was only eighteen, I was attracted to you."
"Were you, Danny?" Laurie asked, taking Danny's hand as she sat beside her. She played with Danny's fingers, interweaving her own with them. Danny's were long, strong fingers baked a deep tan by years in the African sun. Hers were petite and seemed porcelain white in comparison. "I loved you so much then it almost hurt."
"Didn't stop you from marrying," Danny said bitterly.
"That's why you stopped writing, isn't it?"
Danny looked at their interlocked hands, nodding sadly. "I couldn't stand the thought..." She didn't go on.
"But you had all sorts of lovers. Your father used to write to mine complaining about what a heartbreaker you were."
"I've dated many men. Two I came close to marrying, but I never slept with any of them. I'm not like that."
"You're a virgin?"
"Yes, of course."
"Oh, boy," Laurie yanked her hands free and hit herself lightly on the forehead. She stood and walked a few steps away.
"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Danny.
"It means I can't handle trying to seduce you into my sinful ways and taking your virginity." Laurie searched for what to say next. "How could you?"
"How could I what?"
"How could you... well, be so you?"
"Because that's who I am," Danny responded.
Laurie sat beside Danny once more. "Now what do we do?" she asked.
"We could kiss," Danny suggested.
"Kiss?"
"Yes."
Laurie pushed Danny back on the bed and kissed her tenderly. Danny rolled over taking Laurie with her, and Laurie let Danny lead the way. She shivered with need as Danny nuzzled and kissed her throat and reveled in the feel of Danny's weight on top of her. She ran gentle fingers over Danny's back and responded in kind, loving the taste of Danny's skin.
Later, they modestly changed into their night clothes. Laurie slipped on a cotton nightshirt, and Danny pulled on sleeping shorts and top. Danny hesitated, pretending to be busy rearranging her already immaculately-ordered suitcase of clothes. Laurie slipped into bed and watched.
"Danny?"
"Yes."
"We could sleep together. Nothing has to happen. I just want to feel you near. Would you do that for me?"
Danny turned off the lights and slipped in beside Laurie. They lay side by side on their backs staring at the ceiling. Once Laurie was sure that Danny wasn't going to panic, she rolled over and rested her head on Danny's shoulder, then wrapped her arm over Danny's abdomen.
"Is this all right?"
"Yes."
The next morning, Laurie woke in the same position. She sleepily opened her eyes
"Hi," Danny said.
"Hi. Are you okay with this?" Laurie asked.
"Yes. We used to sleep together when we were kids. I've never slept with anyone since. It's nice to feel someone next to me. We can't go any further with this, though. We've gone too far already, but I couldn't seem to help myself."
"For God's sake. You're an adult, not some little child who's afraid God will get her if she doesn't eat her greens."
Danny jumped out of bed. "I believe in my God and my church. It's not childish. It's the foundation of my life that my forefathers passed on to me." She busied herself finding clothes.
"I'm not asking you to reject your faith. Just look at it with more openness. God's message through the teachings of Jesus was one of love and understanding. He said, 'There are many rooms in my father's house.' He never condemned anyone for who they were. It's not the faith that finds homosexuality a sin, it's the men who wrote the teachings down. We know now that it was men who left out chapters of the Bible because they thought those chapters didn't fit. In two of those chapters, God was referred to as a woman, and they left out a gospel that had been written by a woman. Men wrote the history and laws of the church."
"They were inspired by God."
"So they say."
"You're too cynical." Danny scooped up her clothing. "Do you want to shower first?"
"You're too dogmatic." Laurie's tone changed. "Do you want to shower together?"
"No. Yes, but no." Danny blushed deeply.
"Then you can wait, and I'll go first. I'm starved. Can you make some coffee?" Laurie headed for the bathroom.
* * *
Danny and Laurie drove almost directly north through flat plains until they reached Kimberly two days later. Here, they walked around the world's most famous diamond pit and the historical village there. The last mining had been done in 1914; since then, the pit had partly collapsed and filled with water.
Diamonds had been found there by Fleetwood Rawstorne in 1871. Entirely dug by hand, the pit reached a depth of 215 meters, and over 22.5 million tonnes of dirt had been excavated. Each miner had bought a column of dirt in which to look for diamonds. Each area was dug at a different rate, hundreds of ropes dangling over the edge to various claims. When it rained, the unstable columns of earth collapsed, taking diamonds, fortunes, and lives with it. Even calamities didn't stop people from coming, though, and a few got very, very rich, including Danny's great-great-grandfather. Before the claim ran out, 14.5 million carats of diamonds had been pulled from the mine.
When they had dug down to the hard blue layer, many of the miners called it quits, figuring they'd hit bedrock. But people like Rhodes bought them out and kept digging, and then found some of the most valuable diamonds ever. Agia, too, clung to his few worthless claims and kept digging until he'd hit high quality diamonds in the blue layer.
Danny explained all this to Laurie as they walked around the De Beers diamond exhibit, examining a fortune in diamonds and learning about the hardships and dangers, successes and failures of the miners. They walked on to the reconstructed mining town and stopped to visit the very cabin that had been owned by Georgous Agia. "It was boiling hot here in the summer, and they say the dust got so thick some days in Kimberly that it looked like red fog," Danny said.
Laurie looked up from her camera lens. "You're proud of your family, aren't you, Danny?"
"Yes. Aren't you proud of yours?" Danny leaned against a wall on which hung a grainy photograph of her great-grandfather. Laurie could see the remarkable resemblance between the stem man in the picture and his great granddaughter.
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