Adult kids: home for the holidays (and thereafter) by Dory Devlin, Shine staff, on Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:46pm PST

Adult kids: home for the holidays (and thereafter)

• by Dory Devlin, Shine staff, on Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:46pm PST

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I don't like to jump ahead too often because when you have kids it seems life moves at warp speed as it is. But I've often thought about how fun it will be when our kids are older and they come home from college or beyond for the holidays.

For lots of young adults and parents, life currently is an extended holiday in a recession that has hit young workers extra hard. One in seven parents with grown children have had at least one of those grown children move back home this past year, according to a Pew Research Center study. Money is tight, jobs are scarce, and some young adults are pursuing more education until the job market rebounds.

One in seven parents welcoming home "boomerang kids" actually seems pretty tame when you look at the unemployment rate among young adults: Among 16- to 24-year-olds, less than half, about 46 percent, are currently employed, the lowest rate among that age group since the government started keeping track of these stats in 1948, the AP reports. At the same time, a record high of about 11.5 million Americans ages 18 to 24, or nearly 40 percent, attended college (as of October 2008.)

All of which led the researchers of the Pew report to quip that the trip to the family Thanksgiving table this year is extra short for many adult kids: "Instead of traveling across country or across town, many grown sons or daughters will be coming to dinner from their old bedroom down the hall," wrote Wendy Wang and Rich Morin.

From the Pew study:

• About 20 million people ages 18 to 34 live at home with their parents — roughly 30 percent of that age group. That's up from about 18 million, or 27 percent, in 2005.
• Fifteen percent of adults 18 to 34 said they had postponed getting married due to the recession. That share increases to 21 percent for adults ages 25 to 34, when many people tend to get married.

It looks like a trend that may take awhile to reverse since employment lags other positive indications the economy is on the rebound. How parents and adult children are working through these roomie agreements is grist for another post entirely. But I'm curious: Is this a familiar story to anyone? Have you moved back home recently to save money, or taken adult kids in to help them during this shaky time?

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/adult-kids-home-for-the-holidays-and-thereafter-548126/

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 10

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Posted by kimberly Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:55pm PST

I moved out to go to college, but with a degree in english lit, (yeah, I know) people weren't exactly throwing jobs at me. I moved home and worked in a restaraunt after graduation to save money before going back to school. Now I'm in law school. With any luck, in a few years I will not have to move home again at 27...

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Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Wed Nov 25, 2009 4:46am PST

The weird part of this recession is that it has actually helped me. I too have a degree in English (MA) and I was unemployed recently after this whole mess started. I was working all sorts of stupid, time-wasting jobs that I really shouldn't have been in, but I took because I needed to be employed. When I lost even that, I was crushed.

However, the recession means that lots of adults are going back to college. Enrollments are soaring. I have always wanted to teach, so I quickly applied to the community college, etc, to be an adjunct. At last, success!

The recession has meant, therefore, that I am finally in a field I love and making enough money to be entirely on my own and stop needing my parents' help to make ends meet.

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Posted by CK Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:31am PST

It's not only hard with that, but with the student loans many have will prevent students from moving out successfully. How much is rent these days? The hardest part of college is sacking a child with so much debt. Add to that loans for law school, master's programs, and others is just making that worse.

Don't be too surprised if you're going back to school and its as hard after graduation...you're going to meet those same people when you have the advanced degree applying for the same positions again as you.

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Posted by Dory Devlin, Shine staff Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:31am PST

Mysterious Gryphon and kimberly, you have both turned a tough time into true opportunity. Great news on the adjunct gig, MG, and finding your love of teaching! And good luck in law school, kimberly. I love stories like these. Sometimes tough times help us find our path a little sooner.

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Posted by izzybean Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:39am PST

Why is it so terrible for adult kids to move back? It doesnt mean they failed, are lazy or anything else. It means they could use help. If helping your own family is somehow making you do something you really dont want to, re-evaluate your priorities. Oh and set ground rules right away

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Posted by Louise Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:10am PST

It's that ground rules thing that we found difficlut.... when they are back "just for a while" you start with small assumptions, then the stay turns into WAY longer and your "child" is upset that the rules and assumptions change. Being a guest is one thing, but being a member of a household is another. I've got two like this now..... any suggestions on nudging them to grow up or go away?

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Posted by Bianca Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:45am PST

I am turning 24 next month and I moved back home, not really cause of the ressecion, although losing my job didn't help but because of a failed mariage. My mom has been great and its a big relief not to have to struggle to make ends meet which means I can focus on settling my affairs. After I lost my job I found one quickly because I am in healthcare a field that has lots of security. Its still tough to find work. Its not a problem to be at home it you respect your parents and do as they ask when your under your parents roof abide by thier rules and help out finacially and with chores.

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Posted by Tally Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:46am PST

As long as there are some new ground rules i don't see a problem with letting them move back in. I mean lets face it they are not kids anymore so they should help more around the house. When they get a job they should pay for rent like they would for their own appartment.

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Posted by Carrie 20 hours ago

So far our kids have moved out and stayed put, but if any of them should need to come home for whatever reason, we would welcome them.. that's what family is all about.. When they are all home for the holidays it does sometimes get a bit challenging but in the long run, we love having them.. if you want to see how we celebrate together as a family with all the kids home for a week or weekend visit Celebration Ideas online at http://www.celebrationideasonline.com/index.html.

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Posted by INSTIGATOR 3 hours 26 minutes ago

If you have to move back home for more than 6 months after graduating college then you did something wrong.

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