Gabrielle sighed unhappily. “Maybe he just wanted a place that he could call his.”
Xena’s pale eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t he just ask?” She growled. “The gods knew he dared in every other respect.” She kicked the body again, making its hand flap against the stone with a sodden, ugly sound.
She couldn’t look anymore. Gabrielle turned and rested her head against the chair’s wood. “Maybe he was afraid to.” She said, in a quiet voice.
There was a period of silence, where the only sound was their breathing.
“Yeah.” Xena finally uttered, with a curious, restless motion. The queen turned her head and peered at Gabrielle. “So, what’s your price, Gabrielle? When do I lose with you?”
Gabrielle found herself captured in those eyes, seeing the stark pain in them. “I don’t have a price.” She blurted, in reflex. “I wouldn’t…”
“Sure you do.” Xena got up abruptly and moved away from her, over to the stately, tall windows. “Everyone does, my friend, everyone does.”
Do they? The blond woman leaned against the chair arm, and thought about it. What would make her turn against Xena? What was her price? What could they give her that would make her want to leave the queen? Or hurt her? Gabrielle looked over at the window, watching Xena lean her head against the sill in an attitude of silent dejection that tugged at her heartstrings until they fairly hummed.
Unable to resist the pull, Gabrielle got up and walked over to where Xena was standing, pressing her body against the wall so she could see Xena’s face. “I’m sorry.”
The blue eyes moved to her, sad and remote. “Are you?” The queen asked. “Why?”
Gabrielle rubbed her thumb over the stone. “Because…” She cleared her throat of a sudden huskiness. “Um… because there’s nothing I can say… no promise I can make to you that really means anything. It’s just words.”
Xena exhaled softly.
“My words.” Gabrielle went on. “And what are the words of a slave worth? Or a peasant shepherd?” She sat down on the window sill, her back to the panes. “I should be easy to buy off. I don’t have anything.”
Xena was looking at her, Gabrielle could feel it. She kept her eyes on the ground; however, not daring to see what was in the queen’s expression. “So… I don’t know what my price is, Xena.” She finished in a whisper. “But I know I would rather die than betray you.”
Now, at last, she lifted her head and met Xena’s eyes. “So… if you know what my price is, then please don’t ever let me find out.”
The queen stared at her for brief moment, then she turned and sat down next to Gabrielle on the sill. They sat there together in silence, then Xena leaned her elbows on her knees and flexed her blood covered hands. She uttered a tiny snort of laughter. “Who in Hades am I to judge that?”
Gabrielle got up and carefully skirted Alaran’s body as she went to the ornate sidebar, where a basin and pitcher rested. She picked them up, circling the bowl carefully with one arm and brought them back over. She settled at Xena’s feet, kneeling before her and pouring the pitcher’s contents into the bowl.
Then she lifted the bowl up and set it on the small stool next to the window. She picked up a cloth lying near the stool and dipped it into the water, wringing it out and taking Xena’s right hand in hers.
The long fingers twitched under her touch, but Xena didn’t pull back. Gabrielle started washing the slightly chilled skin.
“What are you doing?” Xena asked, softly.
Gabrielle looked up. “Washing the blood off your hands.”
Unexpectedly, the queen laughed, with a dry, bitter edge. She yanked her hand free and got up, stalking away from Gabrielle and taking hold of Alaran’s body with both hands. She pulled him up and threw him over her shoulder, then went to the door to the outer chamber and opened it.
“Here.” Xena tossed the body off her shoulder and onto the floor into their midst. “If you skin him, he’ll make one of you a nice rug.” She let her glare touch each of the shocked nobles. “Make it a matched set when I find his patrons.”
Turning on her heel she reentered the inner chamber and slammed the door so loudly the wall sconces rattled, and a cup jumped off the credenza and rolled across the floor. She stopped in mid step as she spotted Gabrielle crouched on the stone, washing it with the cloth in an attitude of intense concentration. “What are you doing?”
The slave looked at the reddened surface, then up at her briefly. “Cleaning this.”
“I didn’t ask you to clean that.” Xena snapped. “Get up!”
Gabrielle hesitated, then she stood up, carrying the basin with her and backing away from Xena as she approached. She put the water down on the table and stood next to it, watching the queen as she came closer.
Gabrielle felt her heart rate increase. She pressed herself against the wall, very aware of being trapped. Her waking with the queen now seemed very far off, and very long ago, and for a brief moment she wondered if it all hadn’t been a very, very, very bad mistake for both of them.
Xena stopped a bare arm’s length from her, flexing her hands and glaring. “Are you afraid of me?”
“Yes.” Gabrielle admitted.
“Why?”
Why? Gabrielle felt fear and anger battling each other inside her. What was this woman asking? Did she even know what she was saying... or care? “Because you kill people really easily, and you just mentioned I might be a threat to you.” She managed to get out. “Shouldn’t I be scared? What else do you think I’d be? Isn’t that what you want, people to be scared of you?”
Xena looked at her. “Yes.” She said. “That’s exactly what I want. I want everyone to be afraid of me.” She put her blood stained hands on either side of Gabrielle’s head and stared into her eyes.
Cornered, Gabrielle could only stand there. Her anger evaporated, replaced not by fear, but by a deep sadness. She felt her eyes fill with tears, but she tried to keep from blinking, and spilling them.
“What are you thinking, Gabrielle?” Xena asked, abruptly.
Gabrielle took a breath, but didn’t speak, knowing it would betray her emotions.
“Gabrielle?” The queens’ voice dropped dangerously. “I asked you a question.”
The slave swallowed, and softly cleared her throat. “I was... t...thinking that… um… falling in love isn’t always a good thing.” She replied honestly. “Right now I’m wishing I hadn’t.”
There was utter silence in the room for a long string of heartbeats. Gabrielle finally lifted her eyes to her tormentor’s, finding an unexpected sadness that rivaled her own.
“Truly?” Xena asked.
Gabrielle nodded.
“Because I did that?” The queen pointed at the floor.
Gabrielle shook her head. “Because you want me to be afraid of you.” She whispered. “And that hurts.”
Xena’s gaze went internal for a bit. Then she pushed off the wall and went back to her chair, slumping into it and letting her head rest against her hand. “Then get out of here.” She told Gabrielle. “Because that’s just the way it has to be.”
Gabrielle looked at the door, knowing she had only to go through it and she would be free of the danger of this room. She eased away from the wall and started walking, but found herself at Xena’s side instead of across the hall heading for safety.
“I said, get out.” Xena repeated.
Now, she was close enough to see the trembling of Xena’s fingers as they rested against her forehead. “Xena?”
“What?” The queen snapped.
Gabrielle knelt at her side, leaning on the chair arm and catching sight of her eyes.
“I said, GET OUT!” Xena bellowed, her free hand swiping hastily across her face. “NOW!”
But the tears had told Gabrielle all she needed to know, and the fear flowed out of her as easily as her breathing. Carefully, she put a hand on Xena’s knee, knowing she was risking dire injury, and not really caring.
Xena shifted, and grabbed her, a hand on both shoulders.
Gabrielle fought down the panic and caught the queen around both biceps with her hands, staring her right in the eye.
They rode in the balance, at the edge of violence for just long enough.
“I’m sorry.” Gabrielle whispered, loving her in spite of everything. “I’m sorry I said that.” She released one hand and gently touched Xena’s face, removing the last trace of a tear. “Please don’t make me leave. I want to be with you.”
There was absolutely no reaction, and then Xena blinked. She released Gabrielle’s shoulders, and let her hands drop down to the slave’s waist, gazing down at her with a weary, perplexed expression. “Why?” She asked, with a tiny shake of her head.
Very good question. There were really only two honest answers to that, and admitting to insanity didn’t really seem to be a very good idea at the moment. “Because I love you.” She gave up the second. “I know you probably don’t want to hear that, though.”
Surprisingly, the words seemed to relax the queen. Her body shifted, and exhaled. Her head slowly lowered, until her forehead rested against Gabrielle’s. “What makes you say that? You think I’d rather have you tell me you hated me?”
Gabrielle relaxed a little too. “No.”
Xena sighed. “Maybe I would.” She muttered. “At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about you turning on me.”
Gabrielle slowly released her held breath. “Xena…”
“Yeah, I know.” The queen cut her off. “I know.” Slowly, she put her arms around Gabrielle and pulled her close. “You trust me not to cut your head off, least I can do is trust you not to sell me down the river.” She stared over Gabrielle’s shoulder, at her own rust stained hands. “Limited options, my friend. Limited options.”
The slave took a deep breath. “So… what comes next?”
Xena rested her chin against Gabrielle’s soft hair. “I don’t know, Gabrielle.” She admitted softly. “I just don’t know.”
Gabrielle hugged her, having nothing else to add to that.
The queen grunted softly. “Hey. Got any water?” She pulled her head back and eyed the blond woman. “I’ve got sticky fingers.”
“I think I can fix that.” Gabrielle managed a smile. “C’mon.”
They walked together to the sideboard. Xena put her hands in the water, and watched as Gabrielle washed them.
**
Gabrielle had removed the basin of water, and was sitting on a small stool near the edge of Xena's dais just watching the queen think. The woman sitting on the throne had been pondering in silence for quite a while, her pale blue eyes roving restlessly over the room in an otherwise still face.
Whatever she was thinking, it apparently wasn't very pleasant, if the dour glare was any indication.
Gabrielle felt sort of useless. She knew Xena was trying to figure out what to do, and she also knew she had very little experience or knowledge to help her do that. However, just sitting there wasn't doing anything either, and Xena hadn't said she couldn't try to help so...
With a tiny sigh, she stood up and climbed the steps to the top of the dais, settling cross-legged at Xena's feet.
Almost immediately, Xena shifted and reached over, tugging her ear. “Hey."
Gabrielle was glad of the acknowledgement. She looked up at the queen. "Things are really mixed up, aren't they?"
Xena nodded gravely. "Yes, they are." She stroked Gabrielle's hair idly, sorting amongst its pale locks with her fingers. "So, what would you do to straighten it out, hmm? Have a lamb chop party?"
Gabrielle leaned her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her fists. "Um... no, I don't think so." She said. "It seems to me like everyone is really mad about something, but I can't figure out what it is."
Xena eyed her in wry bemusement. "Uh huh."
"I mean..." The slave wriggled a little closer. "It's not like stuff is awful here. Everyone seems pretty okay, I mean other than the slaves, and it's all really nice and all fruitful and all that."
"Uh huh." The queen nodded again. "You're right about that. The harvest this year doubled last year, and everyone's been able to make good money on the surplus."
Gabrielle nibbled the inside of her lip. "Well, okay... so..." Her brow creased. "Then... what's the problem?" She looked up. "Why is everyone so angry? If everything is so good?"
Xena gazed across the room at the huge, almost life-sized portrait of her, dripping in jewels and silk that graced the wall. "Why?" She mused. "Because they hate me, Gabrielle."
"Hate you?"
The queen nodded. "I came in here and deposed one of them." She remarked. "The guy I took the throne from had been king for a score of years, and his family'd been in charge since Zeus was in diapers." Xena leaned on the chair arm. "And here I was a peasant brat with a ragtag army who swept across the land and took it all away from them."
"Oh."
"They hate me. Even if I was Aphrodite incarnate, and rode over the land giving nut pastries to babies they'd hate me, and there's not a damn thing I can do to change that." Xena concluded. "Doesn't matter that I'm a better ruler than old what's his face ever was, and they've got more to show for me sitting on this pain in the literal ass chair."
Gabrielle absorbed all that. "That's kind of stupid." She admitted.
"Yeah." Xena rested her head on her hand.
"Can't you make a deal with them?"
The queen was silent for a bit. "Not any kind of deal I'd ever agree to. That's where Bregos came in. They were trying to force him on me as a mate."
"Ew."
A faint smile appeared on Xena's face. "Ah, you're developing a discriminating taste, are you?"
"I picked you, didn't I?" Gabrielle dared a small joke, despite the gravity of the moment. "Even if you had agreed to marry Bregos... that doesn't really get them what they wanted, does it? You'd still have been in charge."
"Mm." Xena half shrugged. "I think they figured if I got married and settled down... had a few kids, maybe I'd get docile enough for them to control. For Bregos to control."
Gabrielle looked at her. "Do you think that's true?"
Xena took a long time to answer. "I don't know." She tugged on Gabrielle's ear again. "What do you think?"
Her slave pondered the question. "I don't think so." She said. "I think you... once, when I was little, there was a wolf that was attacking the sheep near our village."
"Gabrielle, you just changed direction so fast your breasts are hanging over your shoulder."
"Heh heh." Gabrielle chuckled a little. "No, seriously... the men in the village banded together, with all the dogs, and they went after the wolf." She wrapped her arms around her knees. "After a long time, they cornered it, and they went in to kill it, because it had killed some of the sheep."
"Reasonable." Xena commented.
"They thought so too." Gabrielle agreed. "But when they went after it, the wolf fought them so fiercely, they had to run away."
Xena snorted.
"I stayed."
"Did you?" The queen smothered a chuckle.
"I wanted to see if it was okay or not." Gabrielle admitted. "So I hid behind a bush, downwind of the hole the wolf had run into, and I waited, and I watched..."
"Mm?" Xena leaned forward, intrigued.
"And after a while, the wolf came out, and with her came three little babies."
"Babies?" Xena's eyebrows shot up. "I heard an old Roman tale about that."
"Wolf babies." The slave explained. "Puppies, or cubs, or whatever they call them." She looked up at Xena. "The wolf was their mother, and she wouldn't let anyone hurt them, and she was willing to risk her life stealing the sheep so they would have enough to eat and not die."
"Mm."
"So I think you'd be like that." Gabrielle concluded. "I think you would be fierce, and not let anyone hurt your baby or mess with you."
Xena sat back, with a thoughtful look. "I think you may be right." She said. "But we'll never find out because I'm not planning on spawning."
"Oh." The slave said. "Well, that's too bad, because I bet you'd have really cute babies."
The queen snorted eloquently. "No, you'd have really cute babies." She poked Gabrielle. "I'd have gangly terrors who'd probably tear the stronghold down. Now. Let's stop talking about breeding and figure out what we're going to do next."
"Okay." Gabrielle said. "What was Bregos offering all those guys, anyway? Besides a guy in charge?"
Ah. Good question. Xena cocked her head to one side. "Security." She finally decided. "These damned pansy assed silk britched nitwits are scared to death of change. Bregos offered them a chance for a long term plan."
"Oh. So why don't you do that?"
"Because I don't have a male piece the size of a shelled peanut to promise them an heir with." Xena's face twitched into a half snarl. "And I'll be damned if I'll take one of them to my bed just to give them warm and fuzzies."
Gabrielle reflected on the fact that she wouldn't much like that either. Though she'd only shared Xena's pillow for a very short time, she found herself resenting any suggestion that she might have to share it, especially with any of the nobles she'd met so far. "Ick."
"Mm."
"But couldn't you make some kind of deal, with some of them? Just to get them on your side?" Gabrielle asked. "I know you said you could... I mean, force them to, but..."
"You're not going to give me that honey and vinegar speech, are you?"
"Huh?" Gabrielle frowned. "What does that have to do with making a deal?"
Xena got up and started pacing. "I don't want to make a deal, Gabrielle. I want to bring in all of them, and just relieve my frustration by cutting their throats." She said. "They won't ever keep a bargain with me, so what's the point?"
"Did you ever try it?"
"Gaaabrrieeelle...."
The slave got up and joined her queen in pacing. "Well, did you? Would it be so bad to give it one try?"
Xena turned and gave her an exasperated look. "Yes." She snapped. "It would hurt my image, because everyone knows I don't MAKE deals."
They both paced back and forth. "Well." Gabrielle tried another tack. "Is your image working now?"
Xena sighed. "Gabrielle, look." She stopped and faced the slave. After a moment's silence, she frowned. "Maybe I could talk to Lastay. He's not that bad."
Gabrielle smiled.
"In fact..." Xena put her hands on her hips. "I think I've got something he might just be willing to jump off his fence for." She said. "Go out there, and send him inside. Then I want you to go down to the barracks, and find Brendan. Tell him I'm not holding him responsible for Bregos' men. I want to see him as soon as possible, all right?"
"Right." Gabrielle said. She turned and headed for the door, carefully skirting the blood stain on the floor. She turned as she started to leave, and met Xena's eyes. "I'm sure this'll work out, Xena. You'll see."
Xena watched her disappear, as a mildly sardonic smile appeared on her face. "I doubt it, my little innocent friend... but what the Hades. I'll give it a try. At least it'll postpone the bloodbath."
She returned to her seat, strolling across the blood stained stone and picking up the wine cup she'd been sipping from. She settled into the chair and took a swallow, running over what she planned to say in her head.
Lastay was, as she'd said, all right. He came from a family who had gained their lands when she'd deposed their former king. Because of that, he wasn't really part of the old boy network in the kingdom, nor was he predisposed to prefer the impotent whiner she'd butchered to her.
He was also pretty smart. Xena grudgingly found herself halfway liking him. No sense in letting him know that, though. She fixed the door with a baleful glare as it opened, and watched Lastay flinch as it hit him. "Get in here." She growled. "We need to talk."
He closed the door, and straightened his shoulders. "Yes, Mistress." He cleared his throat. "I am, as always, at your disposal."
Xena chuckled. "Thanks. But I promised Gabrielle I'd try talking before I disposed of you, so c'mere before I get up and drag you over here by your tonsils."
Lastay issued a wan smile, and marched forward, as though to his doom.
**
Gabrielle trotted down the main steps, feeling pretty good about having gotten Xena to at least think about talking through her problem. She knew things were very serious, but in her heart of hearts, she also believed that just going out and killing everyone really wasn't the answer.
There had to be a better way.
She reached the ground floor and walked across the hall to the long corridor that lead into the yards, finding it hard to believe that she'd gone that way to watch Xena save a fellow slave just so few days prior. So much had changed.
She had changed. Gabrielle twitched her over tunic straight, and worked the latch on the door, pushing it open and going outside. It was cold, but sunny, and she took a breath of the clean air as she headed towards the barracks.
It was quiet in the yards today, and as she looked to the right, where the barracks she'd visited the last time with Xena was, she saw the doors and wooden shutters wide open, its deserted appearance very evident. Frowning,
Gabrielle turned to the left and headed for the other barracks, this one visibly better kept and just as evidently occupied.
The door opened as she reached it, and she stepped back as a tall, blond soldier left the building. He stopped as he spotted her and hesitated. "M'lady."
Gabrielle smiled at him. "Just Gabrielle." She said. "I'm looking for Brendan... is he inside?"
The tall man studied her for a moment, and then he opened the door and held it for her. "He is, m'lady. Do you come from the queen?"
"Yes." Gabrielle watched his face carefully.
His gentle smile reassured her. "Then you are doubly welcome. Come inside." He followed her. "Brendan? Front and Center, sir. The queen would have you."
Gabrielle stepped inside, and stopped. This barracks was very different than the other one had been.
Very different.
**
“Siddown.” Xena indicated the low stool Gabrielle had used. She watched Lastay from under hooded eyelids as he settled next to her, his gaze lifting to hers with a wary, though surprisingly open expression. “I’m not a happy woman.”
“Mistress, I did not expect you to be.” Lastay replied quietly. “The extent of the good general’s treachery is now laid open to you.”
Xena regarded him. “Did you know?” She asked casually, as he folded his hands together in front of him. They were shaking, she noted.
He paused before he answered, and his feet shifted. “Yes, Mistress, I did.”
The queen was surprised. Not that the duke had known, but that he’d admitted it, knowing her temper. It raised him up in her estimation, though she suspected he didn’t know that. “Ah.” She murmured. “Should I kill you now?”
Lastay lifted his head. “You can do that, Mistress.” He said. “But of all those who profess to kneel to you, I am the least of your enemies.”
“Mm… yeah.” Xena had to agree. “Well, except for my little Gabrielle, of course.” She added. “So what should I do with you, Lastay? I’ve given you lands… beasts… slaves… the castle steward favors your grain when he buys… and you turn against me.”
The Duke sighed. “No, Mistress.” He shook his head. “What you say is true…you have been more than generous. I said that I knew what was afoot... not that I agreed with it. I stood to lose all, if Bregos won out.”
Xena got up, and circled him. “So you say.” She uttered softly. “But why should I believe you, Lastay?”
He was sweating, even in the chill of the chamber. “Mistress, I have never lied to you.”
She stopped directly behind him. “So you say.” Her hand appeared lazily, the bright blade of her dagger moving as she twirled it lightly between her fingers. She watched his back shift, as he started breathing heavier, and she could almost smell the fear rising up off his body.
Ick. “But I don’t really know if that’s true or not… Now do I?” Xena said, drawing the edge of her blade across the back of his neck. The nape hairs rose after her, and she could see the beads of sweat forming at his hairline.
“No, Mistress.” He whispered.
The point of her dagger came to rest on the very center of his spine, in a small depression just at the base of his skull where one simple push would penetrate and kill him. Xena studied the small interlace of dark hair that traveled down the centerline of his neck and imagined what it would look like doused in blood.
“Lastay.” Xena said. “I am not going to run into the night like a whipped cur.”
He didn’t answer.
“I am the ruler of this land, and I intend to keep it that way, whatever I have to do and that includes slaughtering every single one of you and putting cart drovers into your places.”
“Aye, Mistress.” Lastay said. “That is known to me.”
Xena leaned on the dagger, just a little. “What is it they want, Lastay?” She asked. “Besides someone else on the throne?”
The duke swallowed audibly. He rubbed his thumbs together, his body tensing as he resisted the urge to move, or turn. “You… “He paused. “You gall them, Mistress.”
“Oo. Big surprise.” Xena chuckled.
Lastay did something unexpected. He straightened, pushing against the blade, which broke the skin before Xena could withdraw it. Then he turned his head and looked up at her. “Mistress, you despise us.”
Xena arched her neck and peered at him. “Yes, I do.”
“They why expect loyalty from us?”
Hm. Xena juggled the dagger in her hand and strolled across the room to the crystal wine decanter. She used the action of pouring herself another glass to give herself a chance to think about that. “I don’t.” She swirled the wine in her cup and sipped it. “You hate me, Lastay.”
His lashes fluttered closed, then slid up and he focused on her. “Not all of us, Mistress.”
“Ah ah... no lying.” Xena pointed the dagger at him.
“I am not.” Lastay stated. “Killing me won’t change that. But yes, Mistress, most do hate you.” He said. “You denigrate their manhood.”
Xena returned to her chair and sat down. “Ah yes. Xena the Merciless, royal neuterer of the land.” She rested the blade of her knife against her lower lip. “Lastay, I will never be the ruler they want.”
He let out a breath of relief. “No, Mistress. You won’t.”
The queen smiled at him. “But you might.” She said. “Wanna be my heir?”
Watching the duke’s face, Xena decided she could get used to a reaction other than fear. It was actually sort of pleasant.
Not that she’d admit that to Gabrielle, of course.
Not for a while, anyway.
**
Gabrielle let her eyes wander over the barracks. There was a… a wildness to it that was totally different than the Bregos mens’ quarters had been. On the walls were animal hides, and furs covered the cots instead of woolen blankets.
It smelled of muskiness, and steel, and leather. There was armor hung everywhere, on wooden pegs, well cared for though also well used.
On the back wall, a black banner was spread, with a golden hawk in the center. One side was tattered and burnt, but the care it was kept with was very evident.
Brendan appeared, and moved towards her. He was dressed in a pair of leather breeches and a woven green shirt, and he wiped his hands off on a cloth as he approached her. “G’day to you, m’lady.”
“Just Gabrielle.” Gabrielle corrected him, with a smile. “Her Majesty said for me to come get you.”
Rather than appearing afraid, Brendan looked pleased with the summons. “Let me just put a tunic on then, m...”
Gabrielle shook her finger at him.
Brendan smiled. “All right, Gabrielle it is.” He went to his space, in the front of the barracks, a place of obvious honor. “Jeras, let’s get out t’the yard when I gets back, and work the kinks out.” He addressed the tall blond man. “Time we took this stronghold back for ours.”
“Aye, sir.” Jeras agreed briskly. “Would you ask her Majesty to...? “
“Come watch?” Brendan peered over his shoulder.
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