Bregos whirled his mount to face her. “He spilled blood, Majesty!”
Xena held both hands out away from her in an elaborate shrug. “If a man ran in battle in my army, I’d hope his fellows would gut him, not wait for the enemy to do it.” She yelled back. A soft tittering of laughter drifted over the field, and Bregos turned brick red. The man wrenched his horses head around and spurred him back towards the far structure, which Xena’s men had taken and now were preparing to hold against attack.
Gabrielle exhaled heavily and turned, looking back over the platform at the mountains behind them. “Is killing people really the answer?”
Xena looked at her. “The answer to what?”
“To everything?” The mist green eyes searched her face. “There has to be a better way.”
Xena cocked her head to one side and considered the concept. “Well if there is, I haven’t found it. Good luck.” She moved back and retrieved her wineskin from the back of her throne, leaning against the wooden chair while she sipped from it. “What do you think you can do to someone, short of killing them? Cut a few things off?” She asked. “I tried that. Just made em pissed off, and ended up I had to kill em anyway when they tried to jump me.”
Gabrielle sat back down on the carpet, clasping her arms around her upraised knees. “Can’t you…” She thought. “You could lock them up.”
“And that’s better? Ever seen the inside of a dungeon?” Xena chuckled.
Gabrielle looked up. “Have you?”
“Yes.” Xena nodded, no longer amused. “I spent time in one. I’d have rather died.”
“Mm.” The girl murmured.
“Mercy only gets you assassination attempts, Gabrielle.” Xena resumed her seat on the throne. “Mercy gets you scorn. Mercy gets you nowhere, because most of the people you kill don’t have anything else you can take from them that means anything.”
“Just their life.” Gabrielle said.
“Right.”
“Like me.” The girl whispered. “That’s all I have, so I guess maybe you’re right. What else could you take from me?”
Xena found a damned inconvenient and surprising lump in her throat. She hastily swallowed a mouthful of wine to rid herself of it. “You don’t count.” She answered brusquely. “No one’s gonna kill you, at least not as long as I’m around.”
Gabrielle got up, walked over to the throne, and sat down next to it. She studied her laced fingers for a bit, then looked up at Xena. “I hope you’re around for a really long time.”
“I bet you do.” Xena found herself smiling at her. She handed over the skin. “Thirsty?”
“A little.” Gabrielle took the skin and sipped from it. “Thanks.” She swallowed. “Xena?”
“Yeess?” The queen rumbled.
“What would happen… if you didn’t do something, like…”
“Like kill that guy who hit you?” Xena easily guessed the question. “You’d continue to be a target, and in danger of having the same thing happen every time you left the tower, for you. For me – it would mean I backed down.. that I didn’t protect someone I took into my household. It would mean I’d gotten weak, and that means someone would come after me, to see if it meant they could kill me easily.”
“Mm.”
“There’s no way around it, Gabrielle.” Xena’s voice gentled slightly. “ You kill people to keep them from killing you, or killing people you…people that you’re responsible for. That’s all there is to it. It’s how nature works.”
“It’s not really fair.” Gabrielle said.
“Nature isn’t. Life isn’t.” The queen stated with utter certainty. “The strong live and breed, the weak lose and die.” She said. “I’m strong, and on top, and I intend to keep it that way, and if it takes killing anyone trying to take what’s mine, then I will. No regrets.”
Gabrielle took a final sip from the wineskin and handed it back. She looked directly at Xena, lifting her chin slightly as the queen’s eyebrows rose. “I guess I’m lucky then.” She admitted. “That I’m yours, I mean.”
Xena didn’t ignore the prickle that went up her spine at the words. “Ahhh…. Decided that, huh?”
She nodded slightly. “Yes.”
“I said you were smart.” Xena brushed her fingers over Gabrielle’s cheek, not surprised to see the fair lashes flutter closed at the touch.
But a second later, they opened again, and Gabrielle met her gaze. “And..um… Xena?”
“Hm?”
“Nobody kisses sheep.”
Xena felt a chuckle erupt in pure reflex.
“I mean, I know you’ve probably heard stories, and sometimes the boys kinda get carried away… but there’s no kissing involved.” Gabrielle explained, a smile crinkling the skin around her eyes. “Really.”
“Uh huh.” She was delighted to find her little slave showing signs of a nascent sense of humor, something she’d seriously been wondering about. “Are you telling me you know about the birds and the bees, Gabrielle?” Her voice dropped again, softened with curiosity.
Blushing, Gabrielle shrugged a little, and grinned. “Something like that, yes.” She admitted. “Do you know how sheep mate?”
Xena cast an eye on the field, where Bregos troops were making an assault on his captured structure. “No.. how?” She asked, returning her gaze to the woman at her side.
“Baaadly.” Gabrielle stuttered, with an absolutely straight face.
Xena covered her eyes, shaking her head and chuckling. “I asked for that.” She peeked at Gabrielle. “New royal decree. No sheep jokes.” She found her hand suddenly reaching out to touch the slave’s face again and paused, realizing with a sense of shock just how natural it was becoming for her to do that.
How much she wanted to do it. Strange, because she’d never been much for touching people, even those she slept with beyond what was needed. Slowly, she let her hand return to the chair arm, feeling the unusual ache in her chest.
What was this? Seriously, Xena studied Gabrielle’s face, noting it’s innocence as the slave looked up at her. The ache grew, and she decided she didn’t much care what it was. Her hand lifted again and she ruffled Gabrielle’s hair with it, absorbing the sudden warmth the touch brought to her eyes. It was a nice feeling, and Xena decided she liked it.
A roar came up from the battlefield, and she looked over, to see Bregos banner now rising over his captured structure. Xena watched her lines reform, and a quiet tension started to coil in her guts knowing that soon it would be her turn to be out there, smelling grass, and dirt, and blood. And Bregos.
Her fingers sorted through silky hair.
She wished it was already over.
**
There was all kinds of things going on out on the field, and all around her. But Gabrielle was content to sit quietly, unmoving, absorbing the rhythmic touch on the back of her head.
There was so much emotion rolling around inside her, it was really hard to do anything but just sit there. She suspected if she tried to stand up, she’d fall over like a limp carrot top and end up right back where she started.
It was all just too much. A thousand questions were spinning in her head, and it was just too exhausting to try and figure out what was going on. It was easier to just lean against the throne, and breathe in Xena’s scent, and revel in the memories of a kiss and the comfort of a casual touch.
Oh, she knew it didn’t mean anything. Gabrielle exhaled softly. She was a slave, after all. She was just playing a part that Xena was enjoying fooling around with, and it all didn’t mean a thing to her.
But she’d never felt like this before. Even when she’d walked out with boys at home, it hadn’t been like this. Perdicus had kissed her the first time years back, and it hadn’t been like this. This was like standing inside a bright flame.. this was like being surrounded by rushing water.. this was like…
A sigh. Oh, Gabrielle, you idiot. Cut it out. She gazed out over the field, watching the men run back and forth, attacking. Retreating. Mama always said… ‘Gabrielle, one day you’re going to fall in love, and that will be something, for sure.’ She edged a tiny bit closer to the wooden chair supports. Well, Mama.. you were right. I’m sorta glad you’re not here to see it, though.
Papa would be so ashamed of me.
But… this is real. Gabrielle acknowledged sadly. I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t want it. Or maybe I did, but not… not like this. Not…when it doesn’t mean anything.
Surely, the Fates were laughing. Mocking her.
“Hey.”
Gabrielle lifted her head and rested her chin on the chair arm again, gazing up at the queen’s face. The blue eyes twinkled as she looked back, sending Gabrielle’s heart racing yet again.
“You and I.” Xena put a fingertip on her nose. “Need to talk later.”
Gabrielle blinked. “We do?”
“Yes, we do.” The queen said. “After we get done with this pedantic charade and I spend some time kicking ass.” She added. “We’ll talk about the birds and the bees.” A grin. “And sheep.” An eyebrow spiked. “And us.” She ruffled Gabrielle’s hair, then she stood up and twitched her robe straight. “Let’s go.”
Gabrielle scrambled to her feet and followed the queen as she stalked to the edge of the platform. On the field, she could see the two sides faced off across the central trench again, it’s edges now widened and ragged with muddy gouges. She paused behind Xena, as the queen braced herself and stood up to her full height, the wind brushing her long dark hair back and baring her angular profile.
Us? Gabrielle almost came close to simply walking off the platform. Did she really mean…
“Bregos!!!” Xena’s voice easily cut through the crowd. She spread her arms to either side, brushing Gabrielle’s chest with her right hand. “I didn’t come here to see a standoff!”
Gabrielle glanced around nervously. “You know..someone could shoot at you up here.”
“I know.” Xena replied quietly. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch the arrows if they do.”
“Really?”
“Majesty! I need time for my strategy to work!” Bregos shouted back, standing in his stirrups. “It is but midday!”
“You’re not going anywhere!” Xena bellowed back. Then she lowered her voice. “Really.”
“But.. how did they..” Gabrielle glanced in reflex at the queens’ back.
“Three men, three crossbows, three arrows.. “ Xena held up her hands and wiggled her fingers. “Two of these.”
“Ahh.” Gabrielle exhaled in wonder. “Wow.”
“My men are toying with you!” Xena lifted her voice again. Her troops yelled back, shaking their swords at her. Xena strolled towards the ladder. “C’mon, Gabrielle. It’s time to get down and dirty with the boys.”
“Um.. okay.” She followed Xena to the ladder, and kept close to her as she eased her way down and majestically made her way through the crowd.
Nobles bowed before her, and she swept past them without a glance, until she reached the front of the watchers, near the edge of the field. Here, the platform was only a few feet from the ground. Guards cleared out a spot for Xena, roughly tossing finely dressed men and women out of the way as the queen claimed a good sized area.
Here, Gabrielle could really smell the field, rich and pungent. She could see some of the soldiers, covered in mud and some in blood, dug in on either side of the trench. Men were lying on the ground near the edge of the field, some were moving, and some were not.
“Your problem is, Bregos.” Xena settled herself comfortably. “Your men are out of shape, out of luck, and out of position. You can’t take the trench from this side, because the angles against you, and we have the high ground.” She pointed.
Bregos’ whole face twitched. “Majesty, I do not see your forces doing any better.”
The crowd murmured. Some looked quickly at Xena. Some of the looks were not complimentary.
Xena noticed. Her hands flexed. She lifted an arm, and signaled.
With a wild yell, her troops exploded from the trench, and attacked. Bregos only barely scrambled back out of the way, and raced around the back of his lines, exhorting his men in a loud voice. They gave ground back a few feet, digging in against the attackers whom they still outnumbered.
One side of the line crumbled. Bregos spurred to the spot, hacking and slashing with his sword at the mass of struggling soldiers. One of Xena’s men slammed into his horse, and he whacked at the man, hitting him on the head and sending him to the ground in a splash of blood.
Gabrielle turned her head, and tried not to see or hear.
Bregos tried, but the a section of his men stumbled, and collapsed under the attack. They retreated back again.
Xena could hear the low grumble starting around her. She watched the carnage with a calm, disinterested eye. Until she glanced down at her smaller companion, who was white as a sheet and shaking.
“Can’t you stop this?” Gabrielle whispered.
“No. But he can.” The queen put an arm around her shoulders. She lifted her other hand and signaled, and a reserve force poured through the hole in Bregos lines, forcing them back step by step.
He knew. Bregos broke away from the line he could no longer hold and rode over to face her. “Mistress!”
Xena let him wonder for a moment, then she put two fingers between her teeth and released a loud whistle. The battle paused, her men standing ready, weapons raised, but holding their ground. “Yeeess?”
“I am enjoying this immensely!” Bregos said.
“Me, too.” Xena agreed.
“But… we have lost good men today!” The general puffed himself up. “You are right. This stalemate must end!”
“Now that you’re losing? C’mere, shit for brains.” Xena muttered under her breath. “I should just shoot you.” She added, turning to one side as Alaran made his way hastily to her side. “Ah. There you are. Just in time for the show.”
“Majesty.. he knows.” Alaran whispered. “He knows of your injury!”
Gabrielle’s eyes narrowed as she regarded him, forgotten at Xena’s other hand.
“He’ll try.” Xena shoved him aside. “Well, Bregos?” She raised her voice. “Did you have a suggestion? My men are waiting.”
“Majesty!” Alaran hissed.
“There is no need to risk any more of my.. our precious soldiers!” Bregos shouted. “I will settle this myself! I offer, Majesty! I offer to stand for the honor of my men, in single combat, against a champion of your choosing!”
The crowd roared, responding to the noble gesture. Bregos men chanted his name, visibly relieved.
“Majesty, let me fight him.” Alaran rasped. “Don’t fall into his trap!”
Xena held up her hand, and waited for silence. It wasn’t long in coming. She folded her hands at her waist. “All right.” She agreed. “Bregos, I accept your brave, generous, and noble offer to settle this question with your own… body.”
Visibly a little surprised at her words, Bregos, bowed nobly and gracefully in his saddle. “Majesty, you honor me beyond my worth.”
“Oh, you said it.” Xena uttered.
“I await your pleasure, Mistress. Name your champion, and we shall put our lives and our honors before yourself, and our noble populace.”
“Mistress!” Alaran actually tugged on her sleeve. “Please!”
Xena turned and faced him, her expression cold as ice. “Go.” She ordered. “This is my place.”
Alaran visibly bit off a response, jerking his body into a bow then backing off to stand near the guard, silently seething.
“Xena.” Gabrielle whispered.
“You want to fight Bregos too?” The queen turned to her, both eyebrows hiking up.
“Um.. “ The girl glanced past Xena. “Uh… no, but.. only me and Alaran knew about your back. If Bregos knows…”
Xena gave her a resigned, almost sad look. “I said you were the only exception to the rule, didn’t I?” She squeezed Gabrielle’s shoulder and turned to face Bregos. “ You’re on, Bregos.”
He bowed. “Call out your champion, Mistress.”
Xena quietly unlatched the clasp on her silken robe and pulled it off. A wave of shocked rippled through the crowd as her armor and weapons were revealed and she straightened up to her full height. “I told you.” She spoke into the silence. “I have no need of a personal champion.”
She let the echo of her words fade, then she turned and handed her robe to Gabrielle. “Hang onto this for me, would you?”
Gabrielle took it as though it were precious. “Be careful.” She said. “He’s creepy.”
Xena felt the eyes of the populace on her. She let her gaze travel lightly around the crowd, then she turned her eyes on Gabrielle. With studied deliberation, she inclined her head and gave into an impulse again, feeling Gabrielle lean forward to meet her as their lips touched. She made it last more than an instant this time, then she pulled back and winked at the slave. “There is no way I am not walking off that field first.” She patted Gabrielle cheek, then she turned and stepped off the platform, landing on the ground without so much as a jar to her motion.
The soldiers eased back out of the lines as Xena approached, her long strides moving her smoothly over the rutted ground. She paused a few lengths from Bregos horse and faced him, letting her hands rest lightly on her thighs. “You going to come down here, or do I have to pull you off that damn nag?” She felt her royal verneer slough away, and the pit fighter she’d grown up as started to surface.
He saw the difference. He slowly dismounted, slapping his horse on the rear and sending him off at a trot. The troops formed up around them, in a circle, one half hers, one half his, and a spectre entered the battlefield, it’s low laugh rattling the flags and standards that lined the grass.
Xena took a moment to look around. The entire field was surrounded by the populace, and the stands were packed to overflowing by more nobles than she’d realized she had in the kingdom. Eyes watched her. Hungry eyes, and she realized there were many in the crowd who didn’t want her to leave the field in one piece. She was hated. She knew it. The only security she had was the ring of men behind her.
And the only love to be found was standing on the sidelines, with a silk gown over her shoulders.
“Xena.” Bregos was close enough to speak low. “If I defeat you, I will have your hand and share that throne.”
Xena merely smiled. “If you defeat me, it’ll be vacant. It’s all yours.”
His face hardened. “So be it.” He drew his sword and swept it towards her in an exaggerated bow. “I humbly bow to my mistress’s wishes.” He spoke loudly. “And seek only to do her bidding.”
Xena centered herself. She took the pain racking her body and put it away, clearing her mind for the coming battle. She brought her body over it’s balance point, and drew her sword from it’s sheath, flipping it lazily over her hand to point backwards cradled in her arm. She crooked both index fingers. “C’mon.” She purred, ending the word on a chuckle. “Come and get me, you pompous excuse for a half rate butcher.”
And he did.
**
At first he thought to simply overpower her, using his height and weight to roll right over her and get the duel over in short order. Xena had barely time to set herself before he attacked, his swift, competent strokes making it plain to her that he wasn’t going to pull any punches. But that was all right, since she wasn’t either, and she deflected his initial strike and slipped neatly under his arm, booting him in the rear as she turned in one smooth motion.
Her men chuckled.
Xena wished she could chuckle. As much as she wanted dearly to enjoy this little tussle, her injury was ruining her fun and she knew she could only draw it out for so long before it started handicapping her in a dangerous way. She waited for Bregos to turn and follow her, and then she had to duck as he swiped viciously at her head. “Naughty boy.” She met his blade and turned it, throwing him back in the other direction and continuing her move into a graceful turn that put her weapon right in position to slash the front of his armor, cutting deeply into the metal links that covered his chest.
That cooled his temper. He took another tack, switching from brute force to finesse. He was a fine swordsman, and now he engaged her with skill and swift, cutting motions. Xena smiled. Much more to her liking. She entered into the dance with a sense of true enjoyment, meeting his attack and turning it, anticipating his motions and evading them, blocking his strokes and countering his every parry with one of her own.
She could sense the magic they were weaving. Even in young Gabrielle’s eyes, watching in fascination from the low platform. Xena grinned fiercely, and went on the attack, mindful of that rapt attention. Battle fever was now erasing the pain, and she wrapped both hands around her sword hilt and whipped the blade in a tight matrix, sending sunlight rippling over the field as it caught the sword’s edge.
Bregos moved to block her and she took a step forward, then she crouched slightly and as he swept a roundhouse stroke at her, she uncoiled and exploded away from the ground, leaping almost her own height in the air and flipping into a forward roll as she slammed her own blade backwards, knocking his out of alignment and almost burying it’s point in the grass.
She twisted in mid air and landed, never even slowing as she just went with her momentum and lashed out with a perfectly placed kick, nailing him in the jaw.
He stumbled backwards, not quite off balance, but stunned.
Xena laughed, and twirled her sword in her hand. She stepped lightly forward and lashed out, almost taking the sword form his hands. He had to grab fast to keep hold of it, and now his face reddened with anger and shame. “You.” Xena cut in towards the field, a move he countered. “Are.” She reversed, and he countered, but she stopped almost in mid motion and chopped down and to the left, evading his blade and cutting him deeply in the thigh. “Out of your league.”
“You only think so.” Bregos gathered himself and came at her. He regained his grip on his sword and attacked furiously. “I am through playing.”
Gabrielle felt like her heart had taken up permanent residence in her throat. She clutched Xena’s gown, wrapped around her neck, as she watched the two fighters circle each other. It was hard to believe what she was seeing – this Xena was so different than the one she’d been getting sort of used to the past few days. She used her sword with such power, and such grace it was almost like watching a dance, only this dance was deadly.
When Xena jumped over Bregos’ and flipped in mid air, Gabrielle had almost squawked out loud. It had been amazing! She’d forgotten for a minute how serious the moment was as her eyes followed the lithe, muscular body in it’s agile flight.
Now, though, she was worried. Bregos was really going after Xena, smashing his bigger sword against her while he issued grunts that sounded very much like a big fat pig. He was trying to push her backwards, Gabrielle could see, but Xena was holding her ground, her legs braced against the uneven ground with muscles standing out under the skin in distinct relief as she met stroke after stroke.
Bregos aimed a blow at her right side, and Xena met it, her blade angled down as she stepped past Bregos and swiveled, keeping him in front of her as he also turned. He flipped his sword to his other hand and aimed – right at her injured shoulder.
Rather than take the blow, Xena dropped to one knee, then unexpectedly surged upward, wrapping her hands around her sword hilt and smashing it into his chest, shoving him backwards in a sheer display of brute strength. He staggered and, as she caught her balance, he got his opening and jumped past her, turning and whacking her across the back as hard as he could.
Gabrielle could almost feel the dire pain herself. She saw Xena freeze in place, just for an instant, and she was even close enough to see those pale eyes flutter shut so quickly you almost thought you imagined it. But she knew she hadn’t, and her guts clenched, a low sound tearing from her throat in unconscious reaction.
And then Xena turned. Her body arched, and her head dropped forward slightly, and all amusement vanished from her. She fastened her eyes on Brego and stalked towards him, making no attempt to guard against his sword. Her own was clasped in her hand, and she twirled it as she moved, her momentum increasing as she zeroed in on him.
“Have you a problem, Majesty?” Bregos taunted her. “Not feeling well, perhaps?” He lifted his sword and came at her, but didn’t barely have a chance to get the weapon even before she was on him, her attack so fast, and so hard it was almost too fast for the eye to follow. She slammed her blade against his as a low growl emerged from her throat, her weapon cutting through the steel he carried and twisting it in his hands. She yanked hard, and the sword flew from him.
He backed a step and tried to pull his dagger. Xena swiveled and swung at waist level, catching him across the forearm and shattering bone as she cut all the way through his arm.
He screamed in shock. Xena pulled the dagger from his half drawn scabbard and just kept moving as he backed away, underhanding the knife and striking, burying the blade deep into his groin.
He dropped to his knees, then crumpled at her feet. Without even pausing Xena kicked him onto his back and lifted her sword, flipping it and catching the hilt in her hands as she dropped the dagger and braced herself to spit him like a pig.
She took a breath, and that raised her head just enough for her eyes to focus beyond the shocked and staring soldiers to a pair of mist green eyes widened in horror that were fastened on her.
Xena looked down at the now helpless man at her feet. Blood was gushing from his groin, from his arm, and from the cut on his leg. He was writhing in agony. Cries of pain jerked from his throat almost like a child’s. The scent of blood rose to her senses, filling them. The kill was here, and she knew she should take it. This life was hers.
She looked at her sword, already stained with that same life.
Xena let her eyes sweep the crowd – most standing, many horrified, all waiting for her to kill him. They all knew she would, she could see it in their faces. In the faces of Brego’s men. In the faces of her own men. All of them knew.
Except for Gabrielle. Xena felt a strange sense of odd peace come over her, as she stepped back, and reversed her sword in her hand, letting it’s blade fall to rest on her shoulder. She looked down at Bregos with a dispassionate expression. “Loser.” She uttered, before she turned and faced the circle of men. First, she looked at Bregos captains. “Take him.” She pointed at the fallen general with her sword. “I’d start with a tornequet around the arm.” She watched them stare at her. “MOVE IT!” She bellowed.
Two of them moved forward, very hesitantly. Xena ignored them, turning to her own men. They drew their weapons and raised them, and a chant started. Music to her ears. Her name. She lifted her own sword and acknowledged them, accepting the accolade.
Then she turned to the populace. There was no joy there. She knew most of them had bet with Bregos, banked on Bregos, and now… she could see the anger in the nobles faces.
Well, to Hades with all of them. She hadn’t told them to pick the wrong side. Her plan had worked, but not really gotten the result she’d expected. And her back was now shooting bolts of pain through her, where he’d struck her during the fight.
But her army clustered behind her, chanting her name, and faced with that armed force the populace joined in, until the field was shaking with the sound of her victory, buffeting her as she walked in stately dignity off the field towards the platform.
She stopped just before it, and raised her sword hand, with her weapon in it. “Our land is strong.” She called out. “Let our enemies… “ She paused deliberately, letting her eyes sweep over the nobles. “Take note.”
The tide turned, and the populace cheered her. Xena felt her spirits rising, as she walked back to the platform, to the blond haired girl waiting for her there. Savagely holding back the pain, she walked up the steps and stopped at the top, raising her sword again and turning, collecting the adulation.
Gabrielle looked up at her as she turned. “Are you okay?” The girl asked, in a low voice.
No. Xena exhaled, sheathing her sword and waving at the still shouting and cheering crowd, and her chanting fighters. “Oh, I feel like a pike’s been driven through my right shoulderblade, I’ve got a headache that would drop a stallion in rut, and I actually had to touch that man’s codpiece.” She got all that out through gritted teeth. “Never been better, Gabrielle. You?”
“I’m glad it’s over.”
“Over?” Xena smiled grimly. “For now. “ She waved a hand, acknowledging the crowd. “Begin the single combat!” She instructed loudly. “I have dinars to award!”
The soldiers cheered, hers wildly, Bregos very grudgingly, and the list masters now started to sort out the field.
“Do.. you want to go sit down?” Gabrielle whispered.
“No.” Xena recognized the lightheadedness. “I want to go lay down. Thank the gods I’m the queen, and I can do whatever the Hades I want.” She laid a casual arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “C’mon.” She raised her voice slightly for the crowd. “Let me teach you what battle lust’s all about, baby.”
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