Carson mccullers

Some boys had cut off the long, sharp spears of a Spanish

bayonet bush and they were chasing the girls with them.

Freshmen in Vocational all dressed up for a real prom party

and acting just like kids. It was half playlike and half not

playlike at all. A boy came up to her with a sticker and she

started running too.

The idea of the party was over entirely now. This was just a

regular playing-out. But it was the wildest night she had ever

seen. The kids had caused it. They were like a catching

sickness, and their coming to the party made all the other

people forget about High School and being almost grown. It

was like just before you take a bath in the afternoon when you

might wallow around in the back yard and get plenty dirty just

for the good feel of it before getting into the tub. Everybody

was a wild kid playing out on Saturday night—and she felt

like the very wildest of all.

She hollered and pushed and was the first to try any new stunt.

She made so much noise and moved around so fast she

couldn't notice what anybody else was doing. Her breath

wouldn't come fast enough to let her do all the wild things she

wanted to do.

The ditch down the street! The ditch! The ditch!'

She started for it first. Down a block they had put in new pipes

under the street and dug a swell deep ditch. The flambeaux

around the edge were bright and red in the dark. She wouldn't

wait to climb down. She ran until she reached the little wavy

flames and then she jumped.

With her tennis shoes she would have landed like a cat —but

the high pumps made her slip and her stomach hit this pipe.

Her breath was stopped. She lay quiet with her eyes closed.

The party------For a long time she remembered how

she thought it would be, how she imagined the new people at

Vocational. And about the bunch she wanted to be with every

day. She would feel different in the halls now, knowing that

they were not something special but like any other kids. It was

O.K. about the ruined party. But it was all over. It was the

end.

Mick climbed out of the ditch. Some kids were playing around

the little pots of flames. The fire made a red glow and there

were long, quick shadows. One boy had gone home and put on

a dough-face bought in advance for Hal-

lowe'en. Nothing was changed about the party except her.

She walked home slowly. When she passed kids she didn't

speak or look at them. The decoration in the hall was torn

down and the house seemed very empty because everyone had

gone outside. In the bathroom she took off the blue evening

dress. The hem was torn and she folded it so the raggedy place

wouldn't show. The rhinestone tiara was lost somewhere. Her

old shorts and shirt were lying on the floor just where she had

left them. She put them on. She was too big to wear shorts any

more after this. No more after this night Not any more.

Mick stood out on the front porch. Her face was very white

without the paint. She cupped her hands before her mouth and

took a deep breath. 'Everybody go home! The door is shut!

The party is over!'

In the quiet, secret night she was by herself again. It was not

late—yellow squares of light snowed in the windows of the

houses along the streets. She walked slow, with her hands in

her pockets and her head to one side. For a long time she

walked without noticing the direction.

Then the houses were far apart from each other and there were

yards with big trees in them and black shrubbery. She looked

around and saw she was near this house where she had gone

so many times in the summer. Her feet had just taken her here

without her knowing. When she came to the house she waited

to be sure no person could see. Then she went through the side

yard.

The radio was on as usual. For a second she stood by the

window and watched the people inside. The bald-headed man

and the gray-haired lady were playing cards at a table. Mick

sat on the ground. This was a very fine and secret place. Close

around were thick cedars so that she was completely hidden

by herself. The radio was no good tonight—somebody sang

popular songs that all ended in the same way. It was like she

was empty. She reached in her pockets and felt around with

her fingers. There were raisins and a buckeye and a string of

beads— one cigarette with matches. She lighted the cigarette

and put her arms around her knees. It was like she was so

empty there wasn't even a feeling or thought in her.

One program came on after another, and all of them 100

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