The delayed reaction response

Just as love may bring up our past unresolved feelings, so does getting what you want. I remember when I first learned about this. Many years ago I had wanted sex from my partner, but she wasn't in the mood. In my mind I accepted that. The next day I hinted around, and she still was not interested. This pattern continued every day. By the end of two weeks I was beginning to feel resentful. But at that time in my life I didn't know how to communicate feelings. Instead of talking about my feelings and my frustration I just kept pretending as if everything were OK. I was stuffing my negative feelings and trying to be loving. For two weeks my resentment continued to build. I did everything I knew to please her and make her happy, while inside I was resenting her rejection of me. At the end of two weeks I went out and bought her a pretty nightgown. I brought it home and that evening I gave it to her. She opened the box and was happily surprised. I asked her to try it on. She said she wasn't in the mood. At this point I gave up. I just forgot about sex. I buried myself in work and gave up my desire for sex. In my mind I made it OK by suppressing my feelings of resentment. About two weeks later, however, when I came home from work, she had prepared a romantic meal and was wearing the nightgown I had bought her two weeks before. The lights were low and soft music was on in the background. You can imagine my reaction. All of a sudden I felt a surge of resentment. Inside I felt "Now you suffer for four weeks." All of the resentment that I had suppressed for the last four weeks suddenly was coming up. After talking about these feelings I realized that her willingness to give me what I wanted released my old resentments.

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19