Family & parenting

Lead-in.

1. In pairs, think of words related to family members to complete the table

brother _______

siblings

_______ wife

spouse

_______ mother

p arents

grandfather _______

_______

nephew _______ cousin

_______ aunt

relatives

_______ mother-in-law

bother-in-la w _______

_______ bride

2. Match the words with their definitions.

c	1. father's mother is my	a. son-in-law.
	2. daughter's husband is my	b. niece.
	3. son's son is my	c. grandmother
	4. son's wife is my	d. daughter-in-law.
	5. brother's daughter is my	e. grandson.
	6. best man	f. a man who is getting married
	7. bride	g. a woman who assists the fiancée
	8. maid of honor	h. a woman who is getting married
	9. groom	i. a man who assists the fiancé

3. Replace the underlined words with a single word.

Here are my wedding pictures.

Here's (1) my father's father. The

woman next to him is (2) my father's

sister. Here's (3) my mother's brother,

(4) his wife, and (5) their children. Over here is (6) my sister's son,

and behind him are (7) his two sisters and (8) his father. These are

(9) my husband's parents. What a family!

1. my grandfather	4. my	7. my
2. my	5. my	8. my
3. my	6. my	9. my

4. Using the family tree below, tell the relationships between the following people.

1. Michael: Julia	husband: wife	6. Edward: Nancy
2. Michael: Patty		7. Edward: Jack
3. Patty: Mark		8. Elizabeth: Chris
4. Julia: Alice		9. Anna: Patty
5. Alice: Nancy		10. John: Chris

Draw your own Family Tree and tell the class about your family background.

5. Read the words related to the life events and give their equivalents in Russian. Choose the most stressful events for you. Discuss in class and draw a chart of top ten stressful events.

starting/leaving school

changing jobs/school

moving house

divorce

mp sickness/addictions

assuming a caretaking role

assuming a kin-keeping role

parent-children conflict

remarriage

adjustment in a father/mother custody family

Pre-reading

Scan the text. Choose the heading from the list (A-D) for each part (1-4) of the text.

A. Parenting Styles

B. The Diversity of Families

C. Cultural Ethnic and Social Class Variations in Families

D. Some Features of Typical American Family

Reading

1. Read the text and fill in the gaps with the words given below. Change the forms of the words where necessary.

to nurture	a lack	reliant
to abuse	limits	matters
adjusted	to exhort	differences
full-time	income	distant
poverty	to rear	ability
to promote	to be uninvolved	newly marriage
(socially) competent	the extent	neighborhood
to treat	to be affectionate	obedience
to be overemphasized	verbal exchange	related stress
caregiver	demands	support

2. Look at these statements and find evidence in the text to support them.

a) There is a great variety of families in each country.

b) There are social class differences both in child - rearing values and in parenting behaviors.

c) An extended Black family provides social support.

d) The roles of mother and father in Mexican families are different.

Text.

Part 1.

Children grow up in a diversity of fami­lies. Some children live in families that have never experienced divorce, some live virtually their entire childhood in single - parent families, and yet others live in stepfamilies. Some children live in _______, others in economically advan­taged families. Some children's mothers work _______ and place them in day care, while some mothers stay home with their children. Some children have siblings, others don't. Some chil­dren's parents _______ them harshly and _______ them, other children have parents who nurture and support them.

Some ex­perts believe attachment to a _______ during the first several years of life is the key ingredient in the child's social develop­ment, increasing the probability the child will be socially _______ and well _______ in the preschool years and beyond. Other experts believe secure attachment has been _______ and that the child's temperament, other social agents and contexts, and the complexity of the child's social world are also important in determining the child's social competence and well-being.

Part 2.

Parents want their children to grow into socially mature indi­viduals, and they may feel frustrated in trying to discover the best way to accomplish this. Developmentalists have long searched for the ingredients of parenting that _______ compe­tent social development in children. For example, in the 1930s, John Watson argued that parents were too _______ with their children. In the 1950s, a distinction was made between physical and psychological discipline, with psychological disci­pline, especially reasoning, emphasized as the best way to _______ a child. In the 1970s and beyond, the dimensions of competent parenting have become more precise.

Especially widespread is the view of Diana Baumrind (1971), who believes parents should be neither punitive nor aloof, but should instead develop rules for their children and be affectionate with them. She emphasizes three types of parent­ing that are associated with different aspects of the child's social behavior: authoritarian, authoritative, and laissez-faire (permissive).

Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style that _______ the child to follow the parent's directions and to respect work and effort. The authoritarian parent places firm limits and controls on the child with little _______ _______ allowed. Authoritarian par­enting is associated with children's social incompetence.

Authoritative parenting encourages children to be indepen­dent but still places _______ and controls on their actions. Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturant toward the child. Authoritative parenting is associated with children's social competence.

Permissive-indifferent parenting is a style in which the parent is very _______ in the child's life; it is associated with chil­dren's social incompetence, especially a lack of self-control.

Permissive-indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are highly involved with their children but place few _______ or controls on them. Permissive-indulgent parenting is as­sociated with children’s social incompetence, especially a _______ of self - control.

Part 3.

Cultures vary on a number of issues involving families, such as what the father's role in the family should be, the _______ to which support systems are available to families, and how chil­dren should be disciplined.

Ethnic minority families differ from White American families in their size, structure, and composition, their reliance on kinship networks, and their levels of _______ and education. Black American and Hispanic American adolescents interact more with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and more _______ relatives than do White American adolescents.

In America and most Western cultures, social class differ­ences in child-rearing have been found. Working class and low-income parents often place a high value on external char­acteristics such as _______ and neatness, whereas middle-class families often place a high value on internal characteristics, such as self-control and delay of gratification. There are social class _______ not only in child-rearing values but also in parent­ing behaviors. Middle-class parents are more likely to explain something, use verbal praise, use reasoning to accompany their discipline, and ask their children questions. By contrast, parents in low-income and working-class households are more likely to discipline their children with physical punishment and criticize their children more.

The Black cultural tradition of an extended family house­hold - in which one or several grandparents, uncles, aunts, sib­lings, or cousins, either live together or provide _______ - has helped many Black parents cope with adverse social conditions such as economic impoverishment. The Black extended family can be traced to the African heritage of many Black Americans, where in many cultures a _______ _______ cou­ple does not move away from relatives. Instead, the extended family assists its members with basic family functions. Researchers have found that the extended Black family helps to reduce the stress of poverty and single parenting through emotional support, sharing of income and economic responsibility, and surrogate parenting (McAdoo, 1988). The presence of grandmothers in the households of many Black adolescents and their infants has been an important support system for both the teenage mother and the infant (Stevens, 1984). Active and in­volved extended family support systems also help a parent or parents from other ethnic minority groups cope with poverty and its _______ _______.

A basic value in Mexico is represented by the saying "As long as our family stays together, we are strong." Mexican chil­dren are brought up to stay close to their family, often playing with siblings rather than with schoolmates or _______ children, as American children usually do. Unlike the father in many American families, the Mexican father is the undisputed authority on all family _______ and is usually obeyed without question. The mother is revered as the primary source of affec­tion and care. This emphasis on family attachment leads the Mexican to say, "I will achieve mainly because of my family, and for my family, rather than myself." By contrast, the self- _______ American would say, "I will achieve mainly because of my _______ and initiative and for myself rather than for my family." Unlike most Americans, families in Mexico tend to stretch out in a network of relatives that often runs to scores of individuals.

Part 4.

The American family has changed greatly in the last 20 or 30 years. Many of these changes are similar to changes taking place in other countries.

Young people are waiting longer before getting married. Women are also waiting longer to have children. It's not unusual today for a woman to have her first child in her mid-thirties. And families are having fewer children. The typical family used to have three children. Today most families have one or two children.

In the traditional family, the wife stayed home with the children while the husband earned money. Now 60 percent of all married women work outside the home. So a majority of couples have two wage-earners. One reason for this change is that women want and expect to have careers. Another reason is economics. With rising prices, many families cannot survive on one person's salary.

The United States has a high divorce rate: Approximately 1 in every 2 marriages ends in divorce. One result of this high divorce rate is that many American children live in single-parent families.

Although some women wait until their thirties to have their first child, other women become mothers while they are still teenagers. Many of these teenaged mothers are not married. Many are also poor. Poverty among children in homes headed by single mothers has become a serious problem in the United States.

Often people who are divorced get married again. This has led to a new kind of family the "reconstituted family," in which there are children from previous marriages as well as from the present marriage.

Is the American family in trouble? People point to the divorce rate, to the fact that working mothers might have less time with their children, and to the "generation gap," or the problems that parents and children sometimes have understanding each other. Experts say, however, that the family is as strong as ever. Family is still at the center of most people's lives.

3. Read the text again and choose 5 sentences in each part which best summarize it. Retell the text using these sentences.

Follow-up

1. You are going to give a very short speech (two to three minutes in length) on a topic of interest to you.

A. Read the following list of topics. Choose one of them (or choose a topic of your own that concerns “lifestyles”). Be sure no one else chooses the same topic.

B. Take about five minutes to plan your speech. Write down some notes to use when you give the speech. Remember, it should be only about two to three minutes long.

Topics

1. The ideal family size is...

2. It is (is not) possible to change careers after age forty.

3. The benefits of living in an extended family are... (An extended family is one that includes not only parents and children, but also other relatives, like grandparents, aunts or uncles, etc.)

4. The teenage years are the most... of your life.

5. The perfect age is...

6. The ideal mother is...

7. The ideal father is...

8. Arguing in a family is (is not) healthy.

9. The father's role in caring for young children should be...

10. Difficulties in a new job may include...

11. Divorce can sometimes (never) benefit children.

12. A grandparent's role in child-rearing should be...

13. One's job (One's family) should come first.

14. It is (is not) important for a husband and wife with children to have the same religion.

2. You are going to take a survey. Your teacher will assign you one of the statements from the list below.

Step 1. Walk around the room, read your statement to your classmates, and ask each of them if he or she agrees or disagrees with the statement. Write down the answers you hear.

a. It is wrong for men and women to live together before marriage.

b. A woman's place is in the home.

c. People should not have more than two children.

d. Married couples who don't want children are selfish.

e. Children are responsible for taking care of their elderly parents.

f. Children should live with their parents until they get married.

g. It's better for children to live with one parent than with two
parents who fight all the time.

h. If a couple gets divorced, it's better for children to live with their mother.

i. Schools should teach about AIDS and sex education.

g. It's not good for a wife to earn more than her husband.

k. It's bad for children if their parents have different races or religions.

l. It's better if adopted children don't know who their biological parents are.

m. Sometimes it's good for married couples to take separate vacations.

Step 2. Prepare to present your findings to the class.

example: I had statement h, “If a couple gets divorced, it's better for children to live with their mother.” Six students agreed. Six people disagreed. One person wasn't sure.

Step 3. Select one person to take notes on the board as the students present the reports. For each statement, the note taker should indicate how many students agree, disagree, or are not sure. When all the students have spoken, look at the results on the board. On which topics did the class mostly agree? On which was there a lot of disagreement?

Step 4. In small groups, select three or more statements that the class members had different opinions about and discuss these topics in greater depth. Share your opinions with the group, telling why you agree or disagree with each statement.

3. Read the problems listed below. In pairs discuss the suggestions you would make. Then choose one of the problems and write an essay providing the solutions to this problem. Follow the given plan and useful vocabulary.

Here are the listed problems:

● a teenage girl who feels that her parents treat her like a baby

● a single father whose children live with him

● a young man who lost his job and moved back into his parents’ house

● an elderly woman living in a retirement home

Discuss the following questions with your classmates:

1. What problems or difficulties do these people face?

2. Suppose these people were your friends or relatives. What could you do to try to help them?

Plan

Essays providing solutions to problems are pieces of writing in which we present a problem and its causes, then discuss our suggestions as well as their expected results.

Introduction

In the first paragraph, we present the problem and its causes, answering the following questions: What is the problem? What has caused it?

Main Body

In the second, third and fourth paragraphs, we write our suggestions and their expected results. We write each suggestion and its results in separate paragraphs. We should link our ideas using appropriate linking words.

(Par 2) What is your first suggestion? What would its results be?

(Par 3) What is your second suggestion? What do you expect to happen?

(Par 4) What is your third suggestion? What results would it have?

Conclusion

In the last paragraph, we summarize our opinion. Such essays are normally written in semi-formal or formal style, depending on who is going to read them and where it is going to be published. They are usually found as articles in magazines, newspapers, etc. How can you summarize your opinion?

To make our piece of writing more interesting to the reader, we can use certain techniques to start or end it such as:

• addressing the reader directly. If you want to help the environment, there are lots of Things that you can do.

• using a quotation (a sentence/phrase from a book, a play, etc). Don't forget to mention the name of the person who said / wrote it.

... as American anthropologist Margaret Mead said "We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have."

• using a rhetorical question (a question that makes
a statement rather than expecting an answer). Is it important to protect endangered species?

USEFUL VOCABULARY

To make suggestions:

It would help if / be a good idea if...;

A/Another useful suggestion would be to...;

The situation could be improved if / by...,

Steps / Measures should be taken in order to solve / deal

with...

To present results and consequences:

In this way...; This would...; Then...; If.., the result

would be...; The effect /consequence/ result of... would be.

Unit II

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